Clearing away the dishes she continued with her ‘history-slash-geography’ lesson. “The Pacific Coast Highway was actually built over part of the house but since most of its subterranean you don’t even notice the cars that drive over. It really makes for good camouflage if you think about it.” Maree continued her story as she wiped down the counters and island. “The people on the road can’t even see the ocean. You’re looking at it from the inside of a cliff.” Raven ran her hands through her hair, disbelief clearly showing in her expression. “How did they pay for all this?” Maree answered quickly “Guess you don’t know very much about the men that brought you here.
I would have thought with you being a detective you would have dug up a little more.” she said with a wink. “Michael and Gabriel are both writers, actually really good writers. They’ve both sold quite a few books.
They take the money from that and the concerts Michael puts on every year and put it back into this place, and the one in Spokane. They also put quite a bit into training others to do the same type of thing in their own communities, just on a smaller scale. Michael tends to sell more books, Gabriel is younger and doesn’t have as much life experience to draw from, or so he says. Actually Michael just have a better knack for telling a story”
Raven was still trying to absorb the story when Gabriel walked into the kitchen. “Hello ladies.” He gave Maree a big hug and a kiss on her cheek. He looked over at Raven. “What are you two talking about?” Raven looked at him and smiled, “It would seem there are a few layers to you.” she said. Gabriel shrugged. Looking down at his chest realizing he hadn’t put a shirt on yet. “Oh these scars?” They’re nothing. As he lifted the lid from the glass pastry dish and grabbed a doughnut. Raven shook her head in exasperation. “No you dork, I meant layers to YOU. As a man, you know, as a person.” “Oh, yeah, maybe a few.” he said around a mouthful of doughnut, turning and walking out of the room he stopped and looked back at her. “Listen to Maree here, she is good people.” Once again her memory flashed back to Meagan in her apartment, hearing the same words said about her. This was either becoming a theme or she was having a serious case of déjà vu.
She waved goodbye to him, her eyes following his every movement as he left the room. Maree noticed and said “Girl, that man is a catch and a half if you can ever pin him down. Many have tried, but as you can see no one has succeeded. Well, not yet anyway. Michael is the only one that’s been married going on seventeen years now. Some days I wonder how his wife ever makes it without a heart attack. Considering all they do. She is by far one of the strongest woman I have met while being here, and one of the best people I’ve ever known in my life. I have known Michael since high school, he and Theresa are lucky to have each other.”
Maree refilled their coffee and retook her seat next to Raven. After taking a sip Raven asked “So what is your story Maree?”
“Well like I said, I have known him since way back in high school. When we met I was going through what I call my first-round-of-hell-here-on-earth. I had come into school later than the rest of the students and the cliques had already formed up. When I walked into class I felt so awkward and out of place. I could hear the comments the kids were making as I presented my schedule to the teacher. When I went to take a seat, the only ones left open were in the back. It felt like a mile away. The whole class seemed to stare and whisper as I made my way to the back of the room. Michael picked up all of his stuff and came and sat next to me. He looked over and smiled at me. At that moment it felt as if everything would be okay. He was what I call a “soft place to land.” Back then he was the class clown in a way. He always had me laughing when things sucked back at home. I left high school a little while later to move to Oklahoma. I went to be with my twenty five year old boyfriend. Years later I was working in a local restaurant and he came in one day out of the blue. I could tell immediately that he was much different than he had been in school. Just one thing hadn’t changed at all. One smile from him and my crappy day at work disappeared.” Raven just smiled and listened.
That was the last time I spoke with him until about two years ago. We reconnected on Face book. After talking a few times he asked why I seemed so jaded when I wrote. I don’t know what it was but I just let everything out. It was really intense. I was going through a divorce from a man that constantly threatened to kill me then him, and that wasn’t the half of it. Michael would listen, well read my every word rather, since it was online. He would come back with much deeper questions that I could never answer. We started talking on the phone eventually. My life was seriously spinning out of control. I called him when my ex had come over and beat me while trying to take our kids. About six hours later there was a knock on my door. It was Michael like I had never seen him before.” Maree took a deep shuddering breath. “He got my ex-husbands address and left telling me not to worry, he would handle it. I didn’t believe him. I mean, I knew he meant well, but as we both know, he isn’t the biggest guy you could ever meet.
“Turns out I was wrong. That was my first lesson in “when they say they will handle it, they will handle it!” Within three days my ex was sitting in a jail cell. A week later I had full custody of my girls and my life back. He went back to Washington, leaving me a phone number for a friend of his that I could call when I wanted to talk things out.”
“You know Fred right?” Raven nodded. “Well, between those two they got me to this place where I sit with the abused and confused. Trying to help women find out if they will fight or run from this thing we call life.”
Raven leaned back in her chair sipping her coffee. “What is Gabriel’s story?” she asked. “I don’t really know very much to say about him. You’ll just have to spend time with him to really figure out that story. It seems to morph as he gets further and further involved with Michael and Fred.” Maree said with a shrug. “Come on; let me show you around a little more.” A while later, after showing Raven around most of the floors she ended the tour with the exit that took her down a private tunnel to the shore below. Maree gave her codes to the doors and told her to make herself comfortable. Raven looked at Maree and asked “Why do you have pictures of tombstones in your bedroom?” Maree looked at the ceiling for a moment. “Those are pictures of people we had tried to help. Ultimately they made a choice. The pictures are a constant reminder to me, of just what is on the line when we counsel others. “I hope we can talk some more as you sort out the question the guys always seem to ask.” “The one about God?” Raven asked. “That is the one!!” said Maree.
Raven made her way back to her room. She spent the majority of the rest of the day working her open case leads from her cell phone and the computer work station. Looking up, she noticed it was almost five in the evening. She turned to look out her window. She could see the coastal eddy was beginning to form in the distance. From the look of the pepper trees, aspens and sycamores that surrounded the property it looked like the winds were picking up. She decided that a sit out on the shore watching the fog come in might be a good idea.
She threw on a flannel hoody and walked to the door that led out to the shoreline. Walking down the tunnel she felt almost claustrophobic. An uneasiness she hadn’t felt since her early teen years was starting to well up from within. As the bad memories came, she began to walk with more purpose. An overwhelming feeling that she had to get out of this place quickly began coursing through her. As she walked out into the light and onto the soft sand of the shore, her heart rate instantly began slowing and her mind began to calm as she listened to the movement of the ocean that stretched out in front of her.
She walked some two hundred yards from the outlet to a place where she just felt the need to sit and simply watch what was around her. As she sat down she felt the feeling rise again, her memories sending her back to the life she had lead up until this day. Looking up she saw something that was completely rare on the coastline anywhere in Southern California.
A bald eagle flew past, its wings extended, as it rode
the waves of the air current produced by the winds and the approaching coastal fog. Raven watched the Eagle fly until she could no longer see it. With the past crushing down on her, she had needed to see a form of freedom today. Smiling, she pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped herself in her jacket. She sat there, listening to the ocean sounds and staring off at the water. The fog began to make its way on shore, she thought about how much like her dream this seemed. Suddenly it seemed even more real.
Without any notice or sound she looked to the right and there he was. Gabriel stood smiling at her, “would you like some company?” he asked. Raven patted the sand next to her and said “sure.”
Chapter 15
As Gabriel sat down she looked over at him. When he smiled at her she immediately felt at ease. The things stirring within her from her past seemed to have calmed down just from him being near. They sat in silence for a while, just listening to the ocean, watching the wall of fog get closer and closer.
He began to speak, the sound of his voice like a soothing caress. “See how the light at this time of the day gives this place an almost mystical feel? How the sun casts it light in shades of pink and purple as it sets in the west? Yet when you look directly in front of us the light is stolen in the mist.”
Raven looked up and saw the eagle. From out of nowhere it seemed as if it was flying directly at them. Gabriel leaned back, his elbows digging into the soft sand, and just watched the flight. “That’s the icing on the cake.” Gabriel said with a smile in his voice. As she watched the eagle rise above the fog, a single tear rolled down her cheek.
He reached up and wiped it away. She flinched from the touch, more from surprise than fear. She hadn’t realized she was even crying. With a mixture of shame and loathing she turned away to look to the west, her hair blowing over her face as she did. She had never been comfortable crying in front of anyone. He didn’t reach for her again, instinctively knowing she needed her space at the moment. In the fading light he sat there drawing race tracks in the sand.
Half an hour of silence passed before he cleared his throat and gently turned her face to his. “I have to know and I think you need to tell me why your heart is so guarded.” She let out a sigh, the words from her mind unable to find their way to her voice. Gabriel decided to change his approach. More specifically he asked “I want you to tell me why you’ve denied your heart since the day you left home.” Still she couldn’t make the words come.
Bluntly he said “Raven, I am here to listen, not cast judgment. From experience, I know if you don’t work through the shit you’ve faced you will never be whole. Not as a woman, not as a cop. You will always have a jaded view of justice, freedom, innocence and guilt. Everything you do will be seen through the eyes and the heart of a victim that can’t admit to herself that she was in fact a victim of something she had no way of controlling.” “I need to walk.” was her reply. Standing abruptly she started walking down the shore, Gabriel falling into step beside her. Angrily she looked at him, fire flashing in her eyes. “Did I tell you I wanted you to walk with me?” she yelled at him.
Gabriel dropped back a few steps but continued to follow her. Raven grew angrier with each step, finally she couldn’t take it any longer. Spinning around she took a step toward him, her eyes blazing, her teeth clenched. “How dare you tell me I am not a complete woman? Furthermore, how dare you tell me that I will never be a good a cop until I deal with this! I’ll have you know I’ve been a good cop my entire career! And just for the damn record, I am a good woman!!” Her fist clenched at her sides, she took another step toward him. “I don’t know who you think you are to say otherwise you piece of shit! You’re just like every other man! Trying to control me! And I’m here to tell you right now I am sick of it! And sick of you and your holier than thou attitude! You can just go fuck off, Gabriel!”
As the last words died on her lips she cringed and flinched away from him. Instinct and years of experience had taught her what to expect when she spoke her mind. She waited for Gabriel to be like all the others. She had taken beatings in the past; she could take this one too. At this point she was so pissed off and so wound up she really didn’t give a damn. As Gabriel stood there, saying nothing, in her mind she screamed “Why doesn’t he just get it over with?!?”
“I bet that felt bitchen didn’t it?” he said, still wearing the smile. That smile and those few short words were like tossing drift wood on a raging bonfire. “Do... Not... Mock.... Me!” She screamed, years of pent up rage making her voice tremble. She erupted in a fury of expletives that even Gabriel couldn’t have strung together. “Impressive.” he thought to himself as she kept going.
As she began to look like she might be wearing down a bit he stepped right into her personal bubble and popped it. He stood a mere half inch from her face saying “I don’t know many people that let loose quite like that.”
Like more wood on the fire this just set her off again. This time, along with the impressive litany of insults she started pounding on his chest. Like a scene straight from a movie, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against his chest. Her struggle slowly began to subside, and all that was left were tears. All the tears that she had never been allowed to cry, all the pain she had kept herself from feeling in her life.
He held the embrace for almost an hour as she continued to cry. Finally stepping back, he looked deep into her eyes, his fingertips wiping her tear and makeup stained cheek. As he held her gaze she slowly began to regain her composure. The shivers and trembling that wracked her body began to fade. After a moment more he simply said, “Well done.” He held her face gently between his hands. “Welcome back to your life Raven.”
She stood there looking at him, the rage and fear drained from her system. Weakly she asked “How did you do that? No one has ever pushed me far enough to get past those walls. How? Gabriel. How?” He looked up to the side then told her “I did nothing but ask a question no one else ever has. It was time; you were ready for the cleansing. I don’t know what the future holds for you Raven, I just know someone is calling you out, pulling you into the present moment. Pushing you to relinquish your past to just that. THE PAST!!
We can’t change what we have done or what has happened to us at the hands of others. What we can do is accept the scars. If we look deep enough within, we will find a presence that will take all that pain away. Few people will ever go that deep, looking closely enough to find it. I am grateful to have been taken there myself, so I could learn to bring others, like you, there as well.”
She looked around, thinking that the thick fog they were surrounded by seemed to mirror her life. How it had been all these years, going through the paces with no real light or way to find direction.
He turned her around and they began walking. In a moment they were bathed in the last rays of the day’s sun. She couldn’t understand the sudden change she felt. Only that she felt warmth within her, which matched the warm caress of the sunlight touching her. Looking around she realized they were back at the tunnel. “Am I losing my mind?” she asked. He remained silent, simply smiling at her as he led her through the tunnel to the doorway entering the compound. As he closed the door behind them, thin wisps of fog swirled along the floor and the lights of the hallway. Turning to look at her he kissed her forehead and ran the back of his hand down her cheek. Her eyes slid closed as she nuzzled into his hands. She wanted this moment to last so badly. She just wasn’t used to the “romance” she knew most others took for granted.
When he turned to walk away without saying a word she spoke up. “Are you going to answer my question?” He stopped, looking back over his shoulder. “I don’t think so. Enjoy your evening Raven, it is a truly a great pleasure getting to know you.” With that he turned back around walking down a hall Raven hadn’t even noticed was there. With a sigh she went back to her room and sat quietly.
She drifted off to sleep hearing what Gabriel had said to her. Not in her ears, she heard his words resonating in her
beating heart.
Chapter 16
Out in the in the stillness of the desert night Michael sat watching his prey. From his vantage point he had watched at least four dozen drug deals go down in the hours he had been sitting in his blind. Through his low light viewing scope he trained his eye on his target for the night. He watched each move the target made while on the porch with his crew. He felt pure satisfaction when the voices relayed through the parabolic listening device told the story of six of their brother’s that had come to a quick and painful death. Only adding to that level of satisfaction was the rage he could see building in the target as he heard the information. He decided that he would play with his emotions when he entered the house later. Taking out his cell phone he dialed the familiar number of one of his old buddies stationed at the Marine base about a mile to the east. He quickly provided a brief report on his plan and asked his buddy to have some military police stand by for the aftermath. Looking at his watch he told his buddy he would engage at 23:30 hours. All would be over within minutes. His buddy simply replied “Roger that, out.” the line disconnected.
Michael looked down again to take stock of the weapons he had. The knife with the handle made from the jawbone of an ass, a silenced modified M4 rifle chambered in 7.62mm instead of the standard 5.56mm round. This weapon alone would be all he needed. He, however, sometimes liked to go old school and personal. Securing the blind around him, knowing that to the naked eye he wasn’t even there, he decided to take a nap. He closed his eyes and was instantly asleep. He slept without thought or emotion, knowing what he was going to do and how he would do it. He had done it before and he would continue to do it as long as evil reined or until his Heavenly Father called him home.
The Road to Lazarus (The First book in the diaries of Lazarus House) Page 9
