by Leah Braemel
“No, I haven’t and I’m not going to either.” There was a pause which told him that Cooper wasn’t there in person, Lauren was talking to him on the phone. “No, you can’t talk to him. He’s sleeping...No, I am not waking him up so you can talk to him. He just got out of the hospital, damn it.”
He was half-tempted to go into the kitchen and tell Cooper to go stuff himself, but he enjoyed hearing Lauren defend him. Other than Sam, he’d had precious few people in his corner. Besides, if he showed her he was awake, she’d probably insist on making him lunch—dinner, he revised having a glance at the chiming clock on the wall. He’d slept longer than he thought. While he was hungry, he preferred for her to come upstairs to wake him so he could make a meal of her.
He headed back to the stairs then saw the file folder containing the photocopies of Lauren’s letters. Maybe he should read them before they made any long term decisions. He tucked the folder under his arm and headed back to the bedroom. Once he was stretched out on the bed, he steeled himself and opened the folder. From the looks of it, Sam had arranged the letters by the date they’d been sent.
April 26, 2002
Dear Chad,
I know you don’t understand why I left without talking to you, but I was afraid of what I might do if I didn’t get help right away. I’ve tried to be strong for you, but I just couldn’t get my head clear. I’ve checked myself into a private hospital under an assumed name so the reporters can’t attack you because of me…
The rest of the letter explained about Tranquil Pastures, and her diagnosis, just as she’d said. She’d pleaded with him to phone her or write her back.
May 11, 2002
…I love you, Chad. I’m so sorry for what I said during that fight. I know Emily didn’t die because of anything you did. It was my fault, all mine, and I cannot beg your forgiveness enough…
The second letter continued, with yet another plea for him to write if he couldn’t phone, to let her know he was all right, and asked if he’d consider visiting her until she was well enough to come home. So did the third. And the fourth.
The fifth letter wasn’t written by Lauren but by her psychiatrist.
Dear Mr. Miller,
It is vital to your wife’s recovery…
Chad crumpled the letter in his fist. Damn Tom Jenkins. Lauren had needed him.
Dear Chad, He checked the date, this had been written six months after her first letter. I’ve been praying that you’d get in contact with me after Dr. Maudsley wrote to you. Since we haven’t heard from you, I can only assume you don’t want me to come home to live with you when I’m released the day after tomorrow…
He closed his eyes. I would have come for you if I’d known, babe. Nothing could have stopped me.
February 13, 2004
Dear Chad,
I received the divorce papers from your attorney today. I had hoped that perhaps we could work on repairing our marriage, but Thalia tells me that you’ve been dating someone else for the past few months and that the two of you have moved in together. I hope she is stronger for you than I have been, and that she makes you happy because you deserve happiness. I will always regret that I couldn’t be the one to give it to you. I love you, and always will…
He had to read the last line twice, then re-read the paragraph again. Thalia had told Lauren he was living with someone? Lauren had said once that she’d heard he was living with someone, but not once could he remember her saying that it was his own sister who had lied to her.
His BlackBerry rang. A quick check of the caller ID had him answering. “I was wondering how long it would take before you called, Coop.”
“Lauren said you were asleep.”
“I was.” Yet you called me anyway. Arrogant ass.
Cooper grunted, which would be as close to an apology as he’d get Chad supposed. “I heard Sam came to visit you earlier.”
“You heard or are you having us watched?”
“I ran into him and Rosie at the club, and he mentioned he’d dropped by. I thought I’d better make sure you completely understand that agreement you signed yesterday means you can’t tell him anything about what you’ve learned.”
Since I was still half doped up when you made me sign that fucking paper, you mean.
“I haven’t said a word to him or anyone else.” Yet. “I want your assurance you will never use the club for anything related to the Brigade ever again. Because if I ever find you have put anyone at that club in danger, I am coming after you.”
“Just make sure you keep your mouth shut to Sam. And anyone else.”
“Considering you threatened to take me into custody if I didn’t, I don’t have much of a choice, do I? Are we done?”
“No. I want you to convince Lauren to come back and work for the Brigade. She doesn’t have to go back into the field, but I need her.”
Tough shit. So did he. So had he for the last ten years. “That’s not my decision to make, Coop. It’s hers. If she wants to come back, I won’t stand in her way, but if she doesn’t, I’ll support her a hundred and ten percent.”
“Hmm, I’ll remember you said that if you decide things won’t work between you.” Cooper’s voice was cool, almost threatening.
“Whether we stay together or not, I’ll still support her.”
“Good to hear.” To his surprise, Cooper sounded approving. “By the way, I know Lauren doesn’t believe me but if I’d known what Thalia had done back then I would have told Thal to back off and made sure Lauren came home.”
“Thalia? What the—” Cooper had already cut the connection and Chad found himself talking to no one.
Just what the fuck had Thalia done?
Chapter Sixteen
Lauren opened the French doors and stepped onto the gray patio stones, the only ornament in the back garden. While Chad might have worked wonders inside the house, the yard had been left virtually untouched. In the spring, she’d plant daisies and black-eyed susans along the back fence. Maybe some sunflowers, and a rose trellis beside the patio so the fragrance could waft in when the door was open. And a fountain would be nice. One the birds could dart into and drink from or bathe in. There’s always been something soothing about listening to trickling water in the lazy summer days.
If she still lived here next summer.
Chad had changed. So had she. Not for the worse. They were just…different. Subtle changes they’d both have to adjust to, accept. Yet so much about them was the same. He could still read her moods, still knew what she found exciting in the bedroom and knew the exact amount of force to set her on fire. But a marriage couldn’t be built only on what happened in the bedroom.
The doorbell chimed, rousing her from her musings. After diverting to the kitchen to place her cup in the sink, she checked the monitor installed over the front door.
Thalia. Shit. She’d hoped it would be a couple more days before she’d face her again. Maybe she could just not answer the door. Pretend they weren’t here.
After a gesture from her sister-in-law, Thalia’s husband pressed the doorbell again. Damn it, they were going to wake Chad up if she didn’t answer it.
Cursing under her breath, Lauren turned off the alarm and flipped the deadbolt. Steeling herself, she opened the door. “Hello, Thalia.”
Thalia hissed and her eyes narrowed when she recognized who had opened the door. “What the hell are you doing here, Lauren? You’re supposed to be in Europe.”
“Nice to see you too. What do you want?”
“I heard that my brother had been shot. I came to see if he needed any help.”
While Lauren couldn’t fault Chad’s sister for worrying about Chad, she resented the unspoken implication that she was incapable of caring for him. “He’s fine. He may have to do some physio for a couple months, but he’ll recover.”
Ignoring her husband behind her, Thalia rolled her chair to the door. “I want to see him.”
For the first time, Lauren realized the step had been designed as
a ramp. As much as she wanted to leave Thalia on the doorstop and close the door between them, Chad would never appreciate her treating his sister that way. She sighed and opened the door all the way. “I really wish you’d come back another time. He’s sleeping right now.”
“Good.” Thalia rounded on her. “I thought we had an agreement that you were to stay away from my brother. Permanently.”
“You lied, Thalia. Repeatedly. That voided any agreement as far as I was concerned.”
“You weren’t right for him. I couldn’t let you get back together so I did what I had to do to protect him.”
“I love Chad, Thal. I always did, and I always will.”
“You signed the divorce agreement quickly enough,” Thalia sneered.
“Only because you told me he wanted to get married again. If I’d come back when I wanted to, we might have had a chance.”
“He needed someone better than you. Someone stronger.”
Lauren ran her hand through her hair. Ten years before, she’d have agreed. Now? Not a chance. “I trusted you, Thalia. I thought we were friends, but we weren’t. Were we ever?”
“You were his wife—you were supposed to be on his side no matter what happened. You weren’t there for him the way you should have been.”
“I was there.”
“No. You weren’t. Not like me.” Thalia rolled her chair forward, until Lauren was forced to step back. “You should have backed him a hundred percent for having the guts to go against orders to protect me. Instead you questioned him, argued with him about it. When that video got out, you should have held up your head and proudly admitted you submitted to him. That he was your Dominant. Yet you didn’t.”
The video. She’d often wondered how the press had managed to get a video camera into their bedroom. “You did that, didn’t you? You placed the camera in our bedroom.”
“It had to be done.”
“Why? Goddamn it, Thalia, why?” she shouted. “Why would you do that to us? Violate our privacy like that?”
“Because you didn’t agree with Chad about his decision to protect me. To protect the club members. He saved my life with that decision, you selfish bitch,” Thalia bit out. “If it had been up to you, I would have died. But all you could think about was your pitiful career.”
“I understood why he felt he needed to protect you, but there were other ways to protect you. More official ways. I knew how much his career with the Bureau meant to him and he sacrificed it for you.” Lauren’s nails dug into her palms. “If he’d come to me, we could have found some other way to help protect the club. It was his not telling me what he’d done that was the issue between us. That’s why I felt betrayed, because he didn’t come to me first.”
“He didn’t tell you because you were too busy blaming him and everyone else for Emily’s death,” Thalia snapped. “It was your fault my niece died. Your fault.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
They both looked to the top of the stairs where Chad stood, his good hand on the bannister, his gaze locked on Lauren. How much had he heard?
Thalia lifted her chin as Chad walked down the stairs to join them, but Lauren didn’t miss the way her throat moved, the way the vein in her neck pulsed. Her sister-in-law was nervous.
“I heard about what happened. About the shooting.” Thalia rolled her chair forward. “I can move in here and care for you. I can bring some of my people over to help out. You don’t need her here.”
“Is Lauren right? Are you the one who put that video camera in our bedroom?”
Thalia looked away.
“You were, weren’t you?” Chad’s scowl deepened, his eyes grew dark as a thundercloud when he stopped in front of her. “Then you sent it to that goddamned gossip site who put it on the internet. Let it go viral.”
“They had to see,” she whispered. “You had to see her for what she was.”
“What she was? She was my wife.” He grabbed the armrest of her wheelchair and leaned until their noses were an inch apart. “You damned near irreparably damaged both of our reputations. You made it impossible for either of us to walk down the street without people making snide comments. If it hadn’t been for Sam deciding to start Hauberk, I probably would have ended up a mall cop or asking a customer if they wanted fries with their order.”
“I did what was necessary.” Thalia’s chin went down a half inch before she jerked it back up. “You need someone strong. Someone willing to get down on their knees and submit to you the way you deserved.”
“That’s your kink, not mine.”
Lauren stifled her sigh when Thalia shook her head and persisted. “She’s not good for you, Chad. Why am I the only one who can see that?”
“It’s not your decision to make. It’s mine.” He moved to stand beside Lauren, slipped his arm around her waist. “I’ve asked Lauren to move back in with me. Whether we’ll make it, I don’t know yet, but hear me now: I will not tolerate any more interference. Because so help me God, Thal, if I find out you’ve been lying to me or withholding information or manipulating either of us ever again, I will cut you out of my life forever.” Chad glanced at Spencer. “Take your wife home and don’t bring her back unless you personally hear me invite her.”
He waited until the door had closed behind the couple before he spoke again. “I had no idea it had been Thalia who brought the divorce agreement to you, or that she’d told you I was marrying someone else.”
“I know.” Now.
“Why didn’t you tell me it was Thalia? Were you afraid I’d believe her over you?”
“No. To be honest, that never occurred to me.”
“So these past few days, why not say ‘Thalia lied to me’? Why did you keep referring to her as ‘someone’ or ‘I heard’? Why protect her after what she’d done to you? To us?”
Wasn’t it obvious? “Because she’s your sister. I didn’t want to come between you.”
“And you’re my wife but that didn’t stop her from coming between us.” He wrapped his good arm around her and tucked her head beneath his chin. “Between Thalia with her lies and her videotape, and Jenkins stealing your letters…it’s enough to make you wonder if they were conspiring to keep us apart.”
She snuggled closer, enjoying being back in his embrace. Now that Thalia’s manipulations had been brought into the light, the lingering guilt of not telling Chad dissipated. She felt like she could fly. Or burst into song. Neither of which would be pretty. “Paranoia, party of two, your table’s ready.”
“Even paranoids have enemies.” Chad steered her to the stairs. “Think about it, Lauren. If Thalia hadn’t taken that video of us, Tom may not have taken the letters trying to save you from me. If I’d read even one of those, I would have hopped on a plane and gone after you and—”
She pulled back and placed a finger over his lips. “Sssh. You can drive yourself crazy thinking like that. We can’t change what’s already happened or what others do as much as we wish we could. We can only control our own actions.”
He touched his lips to her hair. “I know, but they kept me from the most precious thing in my life. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive them for that.”
“Give yourself time.” They had all the time in the world now and she planned on not wasting another second.
Neither of them spoke when she took his hand and led him upstairs and into the bedroom. No words were needed as they undressed each other. Or when their lips touched. Or when he lowered her onto the bed, rolling beneath her, letting her take charge just the way he’d promised earlier.
Taking care not to touch his shoulder, Lauren stretched over his body and reclaimed his mouth. The outside world disappeared until only the two of them existed, filled with their languid explorations of each other, with gentle touches and soft sighs. Time slowed and stretched as if they’d never been apart.
When she could hold off no longer, Lauren positioned herself over Chad and bore down, taking him into her body an inch at a time. They
both exhaled when their hips touched. His eyes dark, Chad caressed her breast, touching her reverently, carefully, as if she might shatter. She met his gaze, quickly losing herself within his deep gray depths.
The desire and passion of the very first time they’d made love flooded Lauren’s soul. It twined itself around her heart and held fast.
With a light touch to her back, he drew her down until one nipple hovered above his mouth. When his lips closed over the sensitive bud, the sensation streaked through her and down to her pussy as if she’d been struck by lightning. His hands smoothed over her belly, following its path, his fingers finding her clit, pleasuring her until she could stay still no longer.
Whenever she started to speed up, he slowed her down. He stroked and suckled and teased until her whole body was quivering, heated until she was sure she would spontaneously combust. A simple touch of his thumb to her clit triggered an orgasm that shattered her into a thousand pieces of pure sensation.
When she finally could breathe, he started all over again, this time following her lead when her body clamped around him, milking his cock in the hardest orgasm she’d ever had.
Night had long since fallen before Chad finally spoke. “There’s never been anyone else for me, Lauren.”
He curled his fingers beneath her chin and turned her face until she looked at him. “I would have met you at the airport if I’d known you were waiting for my response. Hell, I should have flown to England to be with you as soon as I found out where you’d gone.”
“You couldn’t leave. Your inquiry was coming up.”
“I didn’t have to be there. They’d already made their judgment.” He rested his forehead against hers. “I loved you, Lauren. I would have done anything to get you back.”
“Loved, past tense?” she whispered.
“No. Love. Past, present and future.”
The fear and doubt Thalia had long ago planted withered. They could do this, they could make their marriage work. “I love you, too.”
“Past, present and future?” His voice was hoarse and his thumb shook as he wiped a tear from her cheek she hadn’t realized had fallen.
