by Liza James
A single centered cross.
A fucking cross.
Suddenly, every ounce of control snaps inside of me. Rage and confusion blow through my blood and my hands begin trembling when I quickly grab the other two pills and flip them over for the same marking.
"No fucking way," I grind out. "Absolutely not."
"What? What is it?" Aura asks, her tone raising in pitch as my heart practically rips free of my chest.
"Come on, I know where she is. Or who may know where the fuck she is." I turn on my heels, stalking out the room and quickly moving to her front door as everything quickly races behind me.
"What the hell, K? Where are we going?" Ruby calls out, rushing up to my side and grabbing my arm in order to yank me back.
I want to stay calm, but I fucking can't. Because this can't be true, it simply can't. If it is, that means my family is still involved with Dom. After I thought they had moved on from their deals with him years ago.
After I did what I had to fucking do in order to keep Lyp away, I thought my family had also cut ties with that fucking monster.
"We're going to see my dad and brother." I rip my arm from her hold and turn again, picking up my pace and leaving them behind me to follow if they can keep up. I'm not holding back anymore, and I'm going to make them pay for ever being involved in this again.
"Oh shit," Aura replies just as I reach the staircase and rush down it.
I move toward my bike when we step outside, and I vaguely hear Ruby telling Wolf goodbye. I glance over my shoulder, calling back a quick thanks as I climb on my bike and turn it on. He simply nods and says good luck before moving to his own ride.
Ruby and Aura are already in their car, and I pull out ahead of them as they follow me. I'm speeding and I don't even care, I have to get to my family before Lyp is taken too far. Every minute is another space farther away from her. I can only imagine what could be happening, what Dom could be doing to make her repent for her sins.
Nausea rolls through my stomach but I force it down as I weave quickly through traffic near my childhood home.
I don't come here unless I have to, and it's been several weeks since I was home last. But I remember those little pills, and I know the mark of my family's dealings for years now.
As soon as I see the old, run down home ahead of me, I race even faster. I speed into the small driveway before quickly kicking my bike off and throwing my leg over the edge. The girls speed in behind me, hurrying out of their vehicles as I run up to my front door.
My hand wraps around the knob as I ram my shoulder into the door and try to open it. Locked. I'm not surprised, but I'm also getting inside this motherfucking house.
"I'd let me in boys, before I burn your entire operation to the fucking ground!" I yell against the door while Ruby and Aura attempt peeking through the windows. "Black out curtains. It's no use looking," I tell them, I know these games too well.
I step back when no one answers, taking a page from Wolf's book and cocking my leg back before ramming it forward and against the door. It cracks, and I rear away again for a second kick when it finally breaks free, and I rush inside.
"Where the fuck is she?!" I shout, pushing past all of the mess and filth now coating this poor home. I'm not here anymore, and the guys don't give a fuck about keeping this space clean.
Immediately, I move to the back of the house, where my old room and their office is still located. When I twist the knob and step inside, my other hand is already slipping under my tank and wrapping around my gun.
I rip it out quickly, lifting it in front of me as I burst through and meet the eyes of the two men I call family.
Fucking ridiculous, honestly. Blood means nothing.
"Had a feeling we'd be seeing you, baby girl," my dad's rough voice croaks in the space as his eyes meet the barrel of my gun. He smiles, an arrogant expression pulling at his features. "Gotten a bit bolder, haven't you?"
I cock my head to the side as a sick smile pulls along my face. "Had to, Dad. Didn't know how many more times you were going to put those pathetic hands on me again." His confident smiles fades, and my brother chokes on his own saliva behind him.
"Where the fuck is she?" I demand again while my dad leans back in his old leather chair and twists his fingers together in front of him. Ruby steps up beside me and Aura comes in after her as well.
The two men gaze over their figures, disgusting perusals clear on their faces as they take them in.
"Answer me," I pull their attention by stepping closer, putting the gun in their faces as I lean my free hand on the desk in front of my dad.
"Who, baby?" he asks incredulously, and I literally want to shoot him already.
"You know who. I know you were at her apartment. I saw the fucking drugs and I know your signature. Pretty fucking careless if you ask me." I scoff at their stupidity, but their frames remain tense, and their eyes don't leave my own.
"Careless, yeah? Or maybe, we wanted you to know how we fucked your girlfriend all these years later—"
Shots fired. Literally and figuratively.
Suddenly, I'm pulling the trigger and moving the gun only an inch from my brother’s head. It fires, blasting a bullet past him and through the wall at his back.
He flinches, jumping to his feet as I smash the barrel against my father's fucking forehead. My eyes bore into his, my hands trembling in rage as I address them. "Listen to me closely," I speak slowly, intentionally. I need them to hear every syllable leaving my lips. "If you have touched her. If you have even looked at her with anything—" Fucking Christ, I'm on fire and it's difficult speaking the words without screaming in their faces. I pause, forcing steady breaths before continuing. "With anything but complete and utter respect—I will kill you both."
My dad remains silent, his own heated gaze mirroring my own. I can see myself in his features, and I hate it. A large part of me wonders how my mom ever fell for my dad, or how she kept things together in our family while she was still alive.
These are different people now. We all are.
"Now tell me, where the fuck is Lyp?" I ask again, this time pushing the barrel even harder against his skin. His head tilts back slightly, but he refuses to speak, and it's my brother who finally breaks and pushes toward me.
"We don't know where she is," he replies, his voice hesitant when my dad darts his eyes from the side.
"Hush, boy," he grinds out, and I pull back the gun before swinging it forward and against the side of his skull. He springs toward me, hissing and cursing under his breath when I point the gun at him again to hold him back.
"Dom took her to an undisclosed location to the members. But we do know she'll be fighting tomorrow night," he explains quickly, his tone laced with defeat and frustration.
Fighting? What the hell?
"Like how I fight?" I ask, disbelief clear in my heavy voice.
"Yeah, Dom has her training so she can bring money in for the cause." He steps back finally, sliding his hands into his jeans when my dad adds his own opinion.
"It's important work, K. Something you would never understand." He intends to hurt me with his words, but they mean nothing to me. These people mean nothing to me anymore.
"I swear if I find out you've hurt her, or that you know where she is—I'll be back." I grind out, slowly stepping away as the girls move behind me. I keep faced toward the men, my gun raised in front of me and poised to shoot if need be.
"We'll see you soon, daughter." An uneasy wave rolls over my skin and I hate the implication he's giving me.
He doesn't want to fuck with me right now, while I'm already on high alert and anxious for Lyp's safety. The only reason I’m keeping them alive this moment is because I don’t have her in front of my eyes now. I don’t know exactly where she is, but as soon as I find out—I'll pull this trigger before he knows what's coming.
I'm pacing the bedroom floor of my apartment. My long hair is pulled tightly on top of my head. My phone is in my hand and I'm an
xiously awaiting my call from Riv. I got a hold of him as soon as I left my dad's yesterday, demanding I get put into the event tonight even though he swore there wasn't a place for me.
"Kick out whoever is against a girl named Lyp," I grind through clenched teeth. "It's a fucking emergency."
"I don't have a Lyp on the card, dude. I have Roxy again, and then I have a girl named Sunflower. It's her debut fight."
Sunflower. That has to be it. Dom would sickly nickname her something similar to Aura's given Nation name.
"That one, that's her." Fuck, I hope I'm right. But I'll be there all night, for every fight just in case.
He groans in irritation, but finally gives in, telling me I owe him a fight later this year in exchange.
"Done."
Now, I'm waiting for the location call, while Ruby and Aura restlessly stay in the living room. I told them I needed to be alone for a while, and I've been in my room ever since.
I can't fucking help it, everything I'm feeling—it's overwhelming. My emotions are wreaking havoc on my mind, my body, my focus. This is why I constantly fight against them, why Lyp is so adamant on drawing them out of me.
She doesn't realize why I do it though, out of the need to protect not only myself, but her as well.
My eyes catch the glimmer of broken shards on the dresser ahead of me, and I slowly step toward it before running my fingers over the glass dragonfly I broke earlier. When I got home yesterday, I pulled out Lyp's figurine and gathered up all of my own pieces, placing them in my room until I can figure out what to do about them.
"We adapt to our own surroundings," Lyp brightly explains as she sits in front of me. She’s gifting me a small glass dragonfly while she holds one for herself. They’re the same, but also different in the wings. Mine are black, hers are white. Makes sense, my corruption to her purity.
We're facing each other, hiding out in her room and away from her strict as fuck parents. We could go to my place, where no one gives a shit what we do or say, but that comes with its own slew of uncomfortable problems. "Always. No matter what happens, what we go through. We adapt and evolve. Okay?"
I look up, meeting her bright blue eyes in the dark, starry glow of her room. They shine, almost like tiny stars themselves. It's her own passion, the light of her presence beaming through her words and mannerisms.
"Is that so," I mutter, rolling the tiny dragonfly between both of my hands. My legs brush against hers as she shifts closer to me, reaching forward and gripping my hands to stop the nervous movement.
I don't know why I'm so nervous around her. She's my closest friend.
"It is," she says, dipping her head low so she's forced in the center of my vision. I can't help the small smile tugging at my features. "It has to be. Otherwise, how do we deal with all the shit in our own lives?"
My eyes widen and I scoff at her use of a curse word. "Wow, cursing now? I really have rubbed off on you." I straighten my spine, a wash of pride crossing my expression.
She laughs, a bright and bubbly sound as she quickly covers her mouth in order to stifle it. But I reach forward, grasping at her fingers and tugging them away. "Don't," I say quietly, my smile suddenly falling and my heart skipping in my chest for a moment. "I like the sound of your laugh too much. Don't ever quiet it."
My phone suddenly rings in my hand, pulling me from the warm memory and throwing me back into this cold reality. I quickly tap answer and raise it to my ear. "I'm ready," I immediately say. My skin pulls tight as anxiety blows through me.
The last twenty-four hours have been actual hell. I've never experienced something so incredibly paralyzing as the chaos surrounding what’s happened. It forces me to examine things a bit closer, and I've been realizing how much I need to say to Lyp when I finally have the chance again.
"Broad and Hudson. Be there by eleven. Full card starts at nine." Riv is straight to the point and doesn't wait for any acknowledgement before he's hanging up.
My heart pounds again, thudding in both anticipation and the desire to actually see her with my own eyes. I need to know she's safe, and simply recognizing her presence at this fight isn't enough to calm my nerves.
It's eight p.m. now, so I quickly grab my tennis shoes and change into my outfit for tonight. Tight black pants and a long sleeve matching cropped top. It allows me free movement, so if I actually have to fight someone who isn't Lyp, I'll be able to before going back to square one.
And who knows what exactly I'll find when I get there. I don't want to be held back by restraining clothes.
Grabbing my gym bag, I throw it over my shoulder and race out of my room. Ruby and Aura hear me, immediately jumping to their feet and gathering their things as well. "We have to take your car this time, just in case Lyp can't ride with me on the bike."
Ruby nods, reaching for Aura's hand and tugging her behind as we race out my front door and downstairs. Moving through the parking garage, I hurry to explain exactly where we are headed and what we're walking into. I don't think either of the girls have been to something like this before, so I want them to be as prepared as possible.
After climbing in the back of their car, we're pulling onto the streets and heading toward the location.
"So, you may actually be fighting tonight?" Aura clarifies, glancing back over her shoulder and to me.
"Yeah, I just don't know if it'll be Lyp or someone else. I have a feeling this is her though, the name given on the entry was Sunflower," I explain, my knee bouncing anxiously with each tap of my foot.
I notice Aura tense briefly, and Ruby reaches her hand across to her grip her thigh in comfort. "That sounds like something Dom would give her. He has this strange obsession with flowers."
"I noticed. Why is that?" I ask, curious as to what flowers could mean to the cult.
"Purity. Natural order. Sexual awakenings and blossoming. And since we were already being cleansed from such a young age, often times our virginity being taken in The Nation, the symbolization is ironic." She speaks smoothly, her words not even wavering in the explanation. I don't know how she's done it, made it to this point in her own transformation despite everything she's been through.
I need Lyp to survive this. But I have to be honest and acknowledge the fact that with each passing moment, I worry we'll lose her.
"That's sick," Ruby hisses beside her, and I notice the way she cracks her neck over her shoulders. Her fingers tighten over Aura's thigh, and now it's her who weaves her fingers through Ruby's and offers some kind of grounding.
"It is," Aura's two words are all that can be said. It's clear Dom is lost on this vile cause and belief system. Now, all we can do is hope to get Lyp back and handle things ourselves.
When we finally pull up to the building, I realize it's an old school. The entire thing is rundown and very obviously closed for business. For years now, it looks like, because the fence surrounding the perimeter is falling apart in countless places and the wide building is tagged tremendously in spray paint.
We find a place to park a block over, hurrying out of the car and down the street until we can finally try to sneak in. I walk several paces around the fencing, looking for the best place to squeeze through without cutting ourselves on the broken wires.
We're silent, the tension in the air is far too thick. Aura is strong, but I can tell Ruby is nervous bringing her around Dom again. I don't blame her in the least, and she keeps a hand on Aura's waist or shoulder the entire time we move.
When I finally find the right spot, I step through first, wrapping my fingers around the fencing and pulling it to the side as the girls walk through next. When I turn around, my eyes scan the empty area for any sign of life or the entrance we should take.
The grass is dead, and most of the ground is covered in dirt and weeds at this point. Paint cans have been tossed on the pavement instead of thrown away, and I have to step over bags of trash and broken school desks as we make our way slowly to the face of the building.
The old red brick is n
early black in the darkness, but colors splash across the front in vulgar words or gang like symbols. I glance both ways, looking to see if anyone's watching before I finally realize the open door several feet to the right of us.
I hurry that direction, and when I reach it, find that it's cracked a few inches with only darkness behind it. Wrapping my fingers around the rusted edges, I shove it forward as it scrapes across the ground and opens up into an old classroom.
Ruby and Aura step in behind me, and we take intentional strides through the space until we're finally in the hallway. Broken and hinged lockers line either side of us, but it's here where I can finally make out the muffled sounds of people to the left.
Rats scurry past our feet, even birds fly above as we move. I follow the noise as the girls walk beside me, we turn down hallways and check doors until finally making our way to the gym in the center of the building.
A single light hangs from the middle of the ceiling, and four massive industrial light stands rest in each corner, lighting up the space in bright chaos for the crowd. Everyone is talking or pouring beers from various different kegs around the room.
We step inside, pushing through the masses while I frantically attempt finding Riv. I need him to know I'm already here, and then I can scope the area for any signs of Lyp or Dom.
As soon as things gets tight, I reach behind myself, gripping Ruby's hand while Aura steps between us. Her chest is plastered to my back, and I know Ruby is firmly behind her while we walk. Ruby and I use our shoulders and elbows to make space, and as soon as people realize it's me, they tend to make a way for us.
Suddenly, Riv comes into sight ahead of me. He's facing the other way but I can see him taking bets as he moves around the circle of restless people. The ground is taped off in several locations, creating a perfect 'ring' for us to fight in tonight.
"There!" I shout over my shoulder, lifting my free hand to point at Riv ahead of us. The girls notice him as well, and we're making a beeline in his direction when I instantly feel Aura tense and stumble between us.
