by Liza James
I don't understand. What the fuck does this mean?
Her eyes fall to mine and I think she sees the confusion on my face because a frustrated groan falls from her lips again. "They were going to make it so I couldn't get off, externally. I wouldn't feel any pleasure. That way, when I was cleansing others, it would purely be to redeem them of their sins." She scoffs, and it suddenly clicks inside of me. "As if I'd be getting off by being raped by members of The Nation."
I don't even know what to say at first, I'm literally stunned silent. But as she watches me, as her shoulders begin shaking and more uncontrollable cries escape her, I can't help but launch forward and pull her toward me.
She breaks, falling apart completely in my arms while she cries. "Fucking hell, Lyp. I'm so sorry," I mutter against her, brushing my lips over her hair while my arms tighten around her shoulders. She collapses even farther against me, as if she wants to bury herself under my skin.
"I wanted to die," she cries, her words broken and choppy as she speaks. "More than anything, I just wanted to die, K."
"I know, I know." I don't know what exactly to say, I don't know how to make her feel better. The only thing now erupting inside of me is the incessant need to kill Dom—to fucking ruin him. "It's okay. That's okay, Lyp. I can't even imagine how terrifying that was. Anyone would want to die in that situation, anyone."
"They all took turns," she suddenly whispers, her frame tensing inside of my hold and I freeze alongside her. "All of them." The air changes again, turning colder, our energies merging into one chaotic mess of revulsion.
"Who?" I demand, my voice cold and alarming to even myself. I need to know who else was a part of this.
Lyp is silent though, and I tilt my head to get a better look at her face. She's biting her bottom lip, her eyes squeezed so tightly shut as she buries herself against my arm.
"Lyp, you have to tell me," I urge her. Fuck, I can't even comprehend the reality of this, but there's a little flag in the back of my mind telling me my family did exactly what I think they did.
Instead of answering, she shifts in my hold and turns to face me. Her cheeks and lips are stained with salty tears, her mouth parted as small breathes fall freely. Her hands tremble, but she lifts them to rest against my cheeks as her eyes bounce back and forth between my own.
It's like we're communicating silently, searching each other for the answers we need in this. She doesn't want to say it, fuck, I can feel it within her. "My brother," I say dryly, void of all emotion while I try to gauge her reaction. She winces, just barely, but keeps her eyes focused on mine. "My father," I add, and her gaze falls shut as more silent tears spill over her face.
Silence.
Hot. Bitter. Resentful.
It feels like everything shuts off within me. A switch is flipped, an explosion readying itself to erupt.
I lean forward, pressing my lips to her forehead and wrapping my hand around the back of her neck. Pulling back, I stand and wipe my hands down the front of my dark jeans, turning on my heels as I stalk out of the bathroom.
"Wait, K—" she calls out behind me and I can hear here scrambling to her feet as she tries to follow me.
"Not right now, okay? Give me this time, just—" Fuck. I can't even talk to her right now. "Just...give me a minute."
She halts, her hands falling to her sides as a sad, defeated expression crosses her face in turned down lips and disappointed eyes. She nods though, and I turn around and walk through the house to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me in one motion.
I begin pacing my small room, and Ruby knocks on my door immediately. "You good, K?" She calls, but I'm not. I'm the farthest from fucking good as I've ever been.
"Leave me the fuck alone for five goddamn minutes," I bite out, lifting my hands and running them through my long blonde hair. "Go check on Lyp. Make her take that fucking test."
I hear Ruby walk away from my door after a moment and know Lyp will be filling Aura and her in on everything. I don't mind them knowing, they'll most likely be there when I kill those motherfuckers anyway.
My steps are moving quickly, a new vibration working under my skin in electrical pulses I can't control. It's like I'm getting angrier and angrier, memories and flashes of threats or the abuse of myself when I was young—all of it is flooding my fucking mind.
My dad and my brother. Both have physically and sexually abused me before. When I was younger and couldn't fight back like I can now. I got out of that house as quickly as I could, and I thought I spared Lyp from experiencing them when we were sixteen.
Little did I know they'd still take what they fucking wanted from her.
They're dead.
Without realizing exactly what I'm doing, I storm toward the far wall to my room, whipping fist back and smashing it forward through the hard surface. The plaster cracks and splinters under my fist, and I pull back in order to hit it a second time.
My skin breaks next, blood spilling from my flesh in small abrasions. I hardly feel it though, so I continue smashing my fist into the wall while heated curse words fall from my lips at the same time.
Suddenly, I'm yelling, losing myself to the rage and anger when I pull my second fist back and do the same. Two holes, getting bigger and bigger with each fucking hit. My flesh ripping and tearing until I'm being quickly yanked back and away from the wall. But I press forward, shaking off the hands grasping at my shoulders and continue hitting. My elbows are flying back, working to push away whoever is trying to fucking stop me now.
"K!" she shouts, and her voice registers in my ears but I ignore it. Not now, I need to get this out of me, this darkness, this vile blood linked to men I despise so greatly. "K, stop!"
Instantly, I'm thrown off when her bright blue eyes meet my own. She forces her way in front of me, ducking under my thrashing arms and in-between them. I'm in the midst of throwing myself forward, so she ends up slammed against the wall, caught between my heaving chest and the broken surface at her back.
Blood stains the plaster beside her head, and her eyes are wide in front of me. Her own breath falling rapidly and I'm sure her heart is pounding in her chest.
"Stop," she says again, lifting her hands and placing them on my cheeks. But I'm so fucking angry, and I immediately wrap my fingers around her wrists and yank them away from me, holding them tightly between us as I absently shift closer.
"I'm going to kill them." My voice is erratic, heavy, and thick as if there’s gravel in my throat.
“No, no you won’t,” she replies firmly as she tries to pull her hands free of my hold, but I refuse to let go now. "We're going to shut The Nation down and they'll get what they deserve. But you aren't putting yourself at risk to get revenge on them."
"If you think for one moment I can let them go without paying for what they've done to you, then you don't know me at all." There’s a sting to my words, but I'm so heated right now I can hardly keep anything together. I want to break free and find them, and I won't be satisfied until I see their blood on my hands.
"Calm down, K," she urges, yanking her hands back again. I'm frustrated, so I rip them up and pin them over her head, stepping even closer as my lips near hers.
"Don't tell me to calm down. Don't tell me to fucking stop, don't you dare tell me to leave them alone after what they did to you." My voice drops lower, angry and hot, over her skin as her eyes fall to my lips.
My chest moves against hers, my knee absently shifting between her legs as I push up against her core. She gasps, and I move to her ear so I can continue whispering against her skin. "They will pay for what they did. By my hands, no one else's. I don't want you near those two again, not until I'm finished with them."
"What are you going to do to them?" She asks, her voice so much quieter, meeker than it usually is. Part of me thinks I'm scaring her, and that same part likes it.
"For what they did to you?" I reply, my tone turning desperate as my nose drags along the length of her neck. My hand drops to her waist, sliding
under the hem of her shirt and against the sweet skin of her lower stomach.
She gulps, I hear it, and my tongue slips out over her pulse to savor the beat. "I'm going to find them," I continue, grazing my touch up her waist. Slowly, trailing fingers up until I reach the underside of her breast.
No bra. Perfect.
And I hear her gasp as my touch moves even higher. "Are you scared?" I ask her, a smile pulling across my face as I move in front of her and let my tongue tease the seam of her lips. I snatch her bottom lip before she can answer, biting down and sucking it into my mouth before pulling back as she whimpers.
"Yes," she replies, and god, I fucking love it. Her head tilts up though, and suddenly her eyes meet mine. She inhales a breath and I swear, she's intentionally arching her back, so I feel more of her. "Keep going. Tell me what you'll do when you find them."
My hips roll forward, my leg grinding against her core as a quiet moan escapes her. Her gaze remains on mine, and I eagerly watch the needy way her body responds while my hand slides over her breast and my thumb grazes her tight nipple.
My lips fall to her neck, sucking and kissing before letting my tongue sweep out and taste her. I bite down, pulling her soft flesh into my mouth, hoping I leave a mark so different than what she's experienced before.
I move to her ear, my hand massaging her tits and feeling her beneath me. Her piercings are addictive. I tug and roll, pulling in a way that has her grinding back against me as well. "I'll have to tie them up," I whisper, my breath blowing along her skin when I drop my hand to her stomach again. "Make sure they're still, secured tightly in place so they can't fight back when I pull out my knife."
I slip my fingers under the waistband of her leggings, rolling my leg forward again, teasing her just a bit before actually going further.
"Yeah? And what will you do with that?" she asks, and I can't help the way my pussy pulses at her words, at this dark and toxic line we're dancing over. Her voice is laced with a craving thirst for blood. She’s getting worked up, turned on by the idea of them paying for what they’ve done. This is sick, but a part of me is drawn to getting off on the idea of destroying them for her.
I dip down, my finger slipping over her clit as she moans against my touch. Her breathing picks up, heavy and thick as she rolls her hips against my hand and seeks out more.
"I'll drag it across their skin. Slowly. Meticulously. Starting at their necks, making them think I'm going to slit their throats and watch them die." I slip my fingers through her wet pussy, teasing her before sliding up and circling her clit again.
I love how she's breathing; her head has fallen back, and her lips are parted on little whimpers and moans. I pull back and watch her, moving to her opening and barely slipping inside. She tenses, and her hand falls to my wrist as if she's going to stop me.
"And then I'll move lower, down their chests, over their stomachs." I breathe the words out on a harsh tone. My heart is racing, my pulse thundering at the base of my neck when she suddenly speaks again.
"You won't kill them?" She asks without looking at me, her lithe fingers still wrapped loosely around my wrist as I slowly pull back out and coat her own cum over her clit.
"Nah, not yet," I reply, pressing my knee against her, watching her figure tremble under my touch while I work her up. "For what they did to you? I have other plans. Something so much worse than death for men like them."
"What? What will you do?" She quietly begs, and I lean forward, letting my lips brush against hers as I tell her.
I slip one finger inside of her, filling her completely as I pump inside her sweet cunt. "I'm going to cut off their dicks, let them bleed out while I shove it down their throats and watch them choke."
"Fuck," she moans as I move inside of her, adding another finger while watching her fall apart in front of me. I slide out, moving back in as I pick up the pace. I use my other hand to tug her tank up and over her chest, exposing her round creamy tits for me completely while I fuck her.
I circle her clit again, remembering what was almost stolen from her. It shocks me, and new jolts of anger rush through me at the thought.
"You feel this?" I ask her, playing with her clit while her legs begin trembling. "Right here," I slow my rhythm into a torturously intoxicating drawn out release. "Remember this feeling, right now. You can feel this, you can experience this. You can get lost in this." I dip down and slide inside her, stretching her pussy with two fingers this time.
She's moaning, one hand grounding herself around my wrist and the other lifting up and around my throat while I hover over her.
"I almost lost it," she whispers, her voice lazy and drunk on the arousal pulsing between us. "I could have lost being able to have this with you. Even if I had ever escaped The Nation. This could have been gone forever."
Her orgasm is twisting tightly, I can sense it in the way her shoulders are heaving, her breaths are rapidly spilling free. She's fucking soaked, and her pussy is tightening around my fingers as I move inside her.
"But you didn't, and we won't let go of this again." I remind her, just as her fingers tighten their hold around my throat and she drags me closer. Her orgasm snaps, and she moans so loudly against my lips that I pull back just slightly so I can hear every bit of it. I fucking love this. Shit, I fucking love he—
Lyp snaps forward, as if she's suddenly woken from this heavy fog surrounding her and launches toward me so quickly I stumble backwards. Her hand doesn't move from my neck, and she uses her hold to shove me step by step until I hit my bed and fall back.
"Holy shit," I mutter as Lyp climbs over me, her legs straddling my waist as she leans down and presses her lips against mine.
She kisses me fiercely, passionately, as if she's suffocating and I'm her only means of breathing. My hands lift and grasp at her shirt, yanking it up and over her head before dragging my nails across her skin.
We're tearing at each other, her hips rolling over mine, her pussy grinding against my own while we devour each other.
She pulls back suddenly, gasping for breath while holding my jaw so I'm looking directly at her. "I found something in your room earlier this week," she breathes out, and her eyes are alight with eager desire. Her lips pulling back in a seductive and dominating smile. "I want to use it on you."
"What the hell are you talking about? What did you find?" She jumps off of me, racing toward my dresser and kneeling down to the bottom drawer.
Oh shit, oh no.
"Hey, wait—" I start saying, just as she pulls out the drawer and digs all the way to the back. "What the fuck were you doing in my drawers?" I bite out, not because I care, but because I'm scrambling to find some way to distract us from this happening.
"I was looking for clothes to change into seeing as I have none of my own here." She mutters quickly, casually. But then she grabs exactly what I thought she was going for, pulling it free and twisting toward me with a look on her face I've only seen a couple of times.
At the club, with the guys in the private room. And in the kink playroom.
That flash of dominance, the look of a darkening desire twisting her features. Her energy evolves into something so much bigger, thicker, heavier. And when she walks toward me, I realize I'm now the one at her mercy.
"You want to fucking strap me?"
Fuck, did I imagine being in this position myself? No. Definitely not.
But I was digging around K's drawers this week before I took a shower, hoping to find something I could sleep in once I was finished—when I found this.
A long, thick, veined and ribbed strap on. Burgundy straps, black laced ties securing the back.
A far more seductive piece than I originally imagined.
At first, I was taken aback, confused but also intrigued at using one of these. Obviously, after K and I had our falling out, I primarily focused on men. I had no interest in women, and I suppressed a lot of my feelings and desires out of the wreckage of what happened with us.
Then I found
this, and my mind spiraled with different visions of us using it. Of the sounds she'd make while I fucked her. Watching it slide into her pussy, wet and shining as I slowly pulled out and slammed back in her.
And that's when it became a bit more than a curiosity for me. Honestly, I never had the thought of her using it on me. Instead, it's become this newer possibility of another aspect of control I could carry sexually. That’s when I went to Ruby and asked her to show me how to use it before I pulled it out here.
"I'm going to fuck you with it," I say, emphasizing the lack of choice in this. Her eyes widen as I stalk toward, and I can visibly see her swallowing in anticipating as I draw closer. "Are you afraid of me now, K?"
"I'm always the one using it on someone else," she replies as I climb back on the bed and straddle her. She doesn't back down this time, her heated gaze meeting my own and then dropping the strap in my hand at our sides.
"It's a good thing I’m far different than anyone else you've ever been with," I reply, my tone edging a harsh and assertive line. I actually hate hearing about her with anyone else, and now that we've given into this so fully, it's clear jealousy plays a major part in my own being.
I'm possessive as hell. Even more so with her now that she's mine.
I lay the strap on the bed, running my hands along her waist as her eyes fall and watch the movement. I slip under her shirt, pulling it up and over her head before dropping it to the floor.
Her bra is black, thin with a printed elastic band running along the bottom saying Lounge in white letters.
"Are we different?" She asks just as my finger slips under the center of her bra and I begin inching it up over her breasts. "You and me. This. Is it different than anything else I've had before you?"
My eyes gradually lift to meet hers, and I can already feel the jealousy licking through my blood as she speaks. "Now you're just trying to piss me off, aren't you?" I ask, my voice lilting up into an innocent tone.
