“No one is ever nice to me!” Miriam complained.
Bethany stepped forward, kicking up a little dirt onto Miriam’s pristine, white, canvas shoes. “Perhaps it’s because you are just not a likeable person. You haven’t been here more than ten minutes, and everyone here seems to be of the general mind to dislike you!”
“I don’t care what you say. I’m not leaving until I get a chance to talk to your Bishop,” Miriam insisted.
Bethany threw her hands up in disgust. “Adam, go fetch the Bishop. Let him tell her what a fool she’s making of herself.”
She turned to Levinia and whispered in her ear.
“When Daed gets home, we are in for a sound lashing. You might be banned for your involvement with Nate. Miriam will surely tell even if you don’t confess it yourself.”
“But I haven’t done anything wrong,” Levinia whispered back. “I don’t have anything to confess.”
“Ach, we both know it doesn’t matter that you’re innocent, Miriam will obviously lie and say anything she has to in order to make you look like you’re in the wrong instead of her being the one at fault for wrong-doing. People like Miriam don’t care about the truth because only the lies can be used as weapons, and they thrive on hurting others.”
Bethany pulled her into the house while Adam went down the road to fetch the Bishop. They had chores they needed to get to, and if their daed returned in the midst of the chaos, they’d be in trouble for a lot more than the scene taking place in the yard. He was a very particular mann about how his haus was kept. In fact, he was very particular about everything, and they knew he would make the situation with Nate and Miriam his business—especially if it involved his daughters.
Once inside the kitchen, Levinia looked out the window at Nate, who was leaning on the banister of the stairs while Miriam flailed her arms. She could hear the woman screaming at him from inside the haus, but Nate ignored her. Levinia said a silent prayer that the Bishop would be able to get Miriam to tell the truth—that is, if she was lying about her involvement with Nate. Levinia didn’t want to think that he could be capable of taking advantage of the girl. Miriam was beautiful, but as soon as she opened her mouth, she became as ugly as Nate described.
Was it possible that he could look past her physical beauty and not find her attractive in the least?
Levinia could see the ugliness, but she doubted a man would have an easy time looking past the obvious physical beauty. She wanted so much to believe Nate’s explanation, but she didn’t understand why a woman as beautiful as Miriam would lie about such a thing. It would seem she could have any man she desired, so why waste her time with one who claimed he didn’t love her? Perhaps she was simply narrish, and there was no other explanation for her one-sided fixation on Nate.
Bethany nudged Levinia. “So do you believe him?”
It was a fair question, and certainly one that deserved an answer, but Levinia wasn’t ready to give her opinion just yet. She studied Nate’s body language as Miriam continued to berate him.
He leaned his head against the railing and remained seated on the landing, eyes closed, his left hand pressed against his ribs. She knew he wasn’t in as much pain as he was pretending to be, which meant he was ignoring Miriam and acting hurt probably hoping she would leave him alone.
She continued to watch, wondering how long it would take for Miriam to stop her rant. When Nate continued to remain quiet, her words became fewer until she finally gave up. He’d ended the argument simply by not giving her anymore to argue with him about. That is certainly the same way she would have handled Miriam. She knew that sometimes the best way to defuse an angry person was to remain quiet. It always worked with her daed, something Bethany had not yet learned.
Watching the way Nate handled the out-of-control Miriam, she realized that he was telling the truth. Already she knew his gentle spirit, and knowing that about him, he could never love such a mean-spirited woman as Miriam. Why couldn’t Miriam see that? Was her anger blocking her from seeing that he wanted nothing to do with her? Levinia could see it; anyone watching the two of them could plainly see he loathed her and regretted any involvement with her.
“Jah, I believe him,” Levinia finally said.
CHAPTER 15
Adam returned with the Bishop, but he didn’t get out of the buggy. Instead, Adam hopped out and helped Nate into the back, while instructing Miriam to Join the Bishop up front. Nate paused at the back of the buggy to look toward the main haus as if to bid Levinia goodbye.
The quietness of the kitchen made Levinia shiver as she stared out into the empty yard where Nate had been only a few moments ago. Now, it was as if he’d never even been there. A deep sadness filled her, making her wonder if she would ever recover. She’d experienced nothing but loss in her life, and this was just too much for her.
Levinia wiped her tears as she watched her father pull his buggy into the yard, his usual, anger-filled expression seemingly worse. Her heart filled with much trepidation at the possibility her father had run into Adam’s buggy on the way up from the main road. Was it possible he’d spoken to the Bishop? He turned and looked toward the haus.
He knew.
Scurrying from the kitchen, Levinia ran up the stairs to warn Bethany, who was gathering up the throw-rugs. Levinia picked up an end of the large, braided rug in the hall and whispered in case her father had come into the haus.
“Daed just pulled up in the yard, and looks angry.”
“He always looks angry,” Bethany sighed. “But you don’t suppose he knows, do you?”
Levinia shook her head. “I think he had just enough time to talk to the Bishop at the end of the road. They had to have run into each other. The timing is too close.”
Bethany dropped the rug. “Then he knows about Nate staying in the loft.”
Dropping her end of the rug, Levinia crumbled to the floor. “I don’t want to face Daed. I don’t want to have to explain to him how foolish I was to give my heart to a mann who is about to be forced to marry another woman.”
Bethany crouched down beside her and put her arm around her shoulder. “No one said you have to tell him all of that! All we have to tell him is that we found him injured and we helped him. That’s all. Nothing else.”
“It’s not that easy with Daed, and you know it. He’s going to ask so many questions, you’re going to think you’re back in school taking a test in front of the whole class!”
Bethany leaned her elbow on her knee and rested her chin on her hand. She blew out a long, discouraging sigh.
“Stop that! I’m nervous enough without having you falling apart on me. You’re the strong one—the one with enough guts to stand up to Daed!”
“Ach, I’m not so sure I can help you with this one,” Bethany said quietly. “You might be on your own.”
Levinia narrowed her gaze at Bethany. “I didn’t do any of this by myself! You were right there with me carrying Nate up from the creek and into the loft.”
Bethany stood up and put her fists on her hips.
“It didn’t take you long to use that against me, did it? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you tricked me into helping you so you didn’t have to be the only one to blame for all of this.”
Levinia lowered her head in shame. “The thought did cross mei mind. But I’m sorry!”
Before she could answer, they heard creaking on the stairs. They looked at each other wide-eyed.
“Help!” Levinia mouthed to Bethany.
Bethany rolled her eyes, and Levinia knew she was on her own. She took a deep breath and braced herself for the worst conversation she was about to have with her father since Daniel’s funeral.
“Bethany, go out to the barn and tend to mei horse. She had a long trip into town and back, and needs a gut rubdown.”
Levinia swallowed the lump in her throat, but kept her eyes to the floor. He was sending Bethany out of the haus—out of earshot.
This was not a good sign.
He wa
s going to raise his voice for sure and for certain, and she was trapped between him and the stairwell. There would be no backing away from him should he decide to strike her. She prayed he would think her to be too old to administer a sound lashing.
“I ran into the Bishop on the way up to the haus just now. He tells me you helped a young mann from an Ohio community,” he began in his usual, stern monotone. “It’s my understanding that he stayed in the loft above the barn.”
“Jah,” Levinia answered without lifting her head. “He was hurt and unconscious so Bethany and I brought him here to recover.”
“You brought a mann into this haus—into your bruder’s loft without my knowledge. What if he was not Amish? He could have been dangerous, and I would not have known you were in danger.”
“He told me he was Amish.”
“When I saw him, he was dressed as an Englischer, and the young woman he was with was dressed the same.”
“He’s not with her. She chased him here, but he doesn’t want to marry her!”
“Silence, dochder,” his voice rumbled. “The Bishop stepped outside Adam’s buggy and approached me so he could talk freely. The two Englischers are to be married if they intend to stay in the community.”
“But he’s not going to…” Levinia started to argue, but thought it best to keep her thoughts to herself regarding Nate.
“Don’t make me think you have an interest in that rebel, dochder.”
“Nee.”
“As for the disrespect of your bruder’s memory; I will not tolerate you spending any time in that loft. It was for Daniel, and he will never be able to use it because…”
“Because I let him die? Is that what you were going to say?”
“Don’t be disrespectful to me, dochder.”
“Ach, mei name is Levinia! You haven’t spoken mei name since Daniel’s funeral when you blamed me for his death.”
“You should have gone down the road to get the doctor. You took the coward’s way out and called for an Englisch ambulance. It would have taken less time to get the doctor here than to wait for that ambulance.”
Levinia felt a thick sob catch in her throat. “I was afraid to leave him that long—there was too much blood.”
“You should have done the right thing. Daniel would have wanted you to do the right thing.”
Levinia plucked an angry tear from her cheek.
“Daniel wanted me to have a happy life. Right before he died, he made me promise I would stop wasting mei life being a mamm to Bethany and a servant to you! He wanted me to get a husband and be loved for once in mei life instead of being wanted only as a servant and mamm to your other dochder.”
“He was mei only son, and you let him die!”
Levinia broke into uncontrollable sobs. “I didn’t let him die! He was the one who told me to call the ambulance.”
His red-rimmed eyes glared at her. “Mei son would not have asked for such a foolish thing. It was your poor judgment that brought him to his end. He was a gut buwe, and he won’t be able to carry on the familye name because you acted selfishly and put your own needs before his.”
“I won’t continue to rival Daniel for your attention Daed,” she said as calmly as possible. “Daniel is gone. He’s with Mamm in Heaven and he isn’t coming back. But I’m here and I can’t live with your resentment any longer. Even if I don’t marry, I think it’s time for me to move on. I’ll be packing mei things and moving to the B&B. I’ve been offered a job that comes with room and board. I didn’t accept because of mei obligations here, but I can no longer stay where I’m not wanted.”
She walked past him and he didn’t say anything to stop her.
CHAPTER 16
Levinia silently packed her small suitcase, tears running down her cheeks, a large accumulation of tears hanging precariously from the end of her nose and ready to drip onto her folded clothes.
Her father hadn’t said a word to her when she’d told him she was leaving.
He hadn’t tried to stop her.
He had been unyielding for too long.
It was obvious he no longer cared what she did, and at this point, Levinia didn’t either. Hurt and anger would drive her to prove to him she was worth more than her dead brother. More than being a servant and mother to her sister. More than a naïve pushover, and certainly better-suited for Nate than Miriam.
She wondered what was missing from Miriam’s life that had made her so bitter. Was it worth even trying to figure out what drove Miriam? Funny, but it would seem they both had two things in common; neither of them had a mother—and they both loved the same man.
Albeit, Miriam’s love for Nate was one-sided and very misguided, but in her own way, she seemed convinced her love for him was genuine. If Levinia didn’t know any better, she’d think Miriam’s love was misdirected—almost like an attachment to fill a void in her life. Mourning the loss of a first love, perhaps, or even the loss of her unknown birth-mother. Whatever it was, it would seem as if the void in Miriam’s life had caused her to have an unhealthy attachment to Nate.
It didn’t matter what Levinia thought. Miriam’s life was her own. If only Levinia could find a way to keep Miriam from taking out her unhappiness onto her and using that to try to destroy Levinia’s chance for a future with Nate. Levinia truly loved Nate—unconditionally.
Sadly, it would seem Miriam had not learned to love that way. Her love was self-seeking and very conditional. Levinia hadn’t missed Miriam’s change in attitude as soon as Nate rejected her. Suddenly, it seemed, she felt Nate owed her something—something she was not entitled to. And for that, she would punish him by forcing him to marry her.
Bethany poked her head in the bedroom door and scowled as she eyed the open suitcase spread across the bed. “What are you doing? You can’t leave me here with Daed!”
“Ach, you don’t need me anymore. No one needs me. No one wants me!”
Levinia released a strangled sob.
Bethany crossed the room slowly, offering her sister comfort with a limp embrace. “I’m certain he loves you.”
Levinia knew her sister was referring to Nate and not her father. Normally, it would have been a comforting thought, but she feared it was too late to matter whether he loved her or not. Their love for each other would not be enough to prevent Miriam from working her best lies to keep them apart. But did she really have that power? As long as neither of them stood up to her, Miriam held all the control. Levinia knew she wasn’t strong enough to stand up against a woman as mean-spirited as Miriam, and Nate seemed to believe that keeping quiet would solve everything.
Did Levinia have enough faith to wait this out and hope that Gott would intervene? It would seem she had no other choice.
“Have faith,” Bethany said as if she could read Levinia’s thoughts. “You and Nate were brought together by Gott, and He will not let you be torn apart simply because this woman chooses to tell her lies to everyone who will listen. Sooner or later she will be found out for the spiteful, jealous liar she is, and then the Bishop will run her out of this community, and we will be rid of her for sure and for certain!”
“Denki, little schweschder.”
“Ach, it’s the least I can do after I left you to be ambushed by Daed. I’m sorry about that. I heard what you said to him about Daniel. You’re not the only one competing against our deceased bruder for Daed’s attention.”
“Ach, little schweschder, I had no idea you felt the same way.”
Bethany reached into Levinia’s suitcase and fingered the material of a blue dress she’d never seen before.
“What is this?”
Levinia sighed. “I made this dress after Daniel died. I’d promised him I would marry someday, and sewing this dress helped me to mourn for him—as a way of keeping that promise. I had no idea I would ever really get married, and I certainly never thought I would meet someone as wunderbaar as Nate. But now—well unless Gott fixes this, I won’t have any use for this dress.”
�
��Then why do you have it packed?”
Levinia giggled. “Just in case! Besides, if we are never coming back here, I don’t want to leave it here because it reminds me of Daniel.”
Bethany pulled her dresses off the pegs on the far wall of the bedroom they shared and stuffed them into Levinia’s suitcase without saying a word. There were four other bedrooms in the haus, but they had always preferred to share. It was the largest bedroom in the old farmhouse, and they had shared it since Bethany’s second birthday. Her crib still sat in the corner of the room where their mother had placed it all those years ago.
To this day, Levinia kept it dusted and the linens would get washed every few months to keep them fresh. There had never been a reason to move it. Their mother had put it there, and they had been content to leave it as a remembrance of her.
Now, it seemed, they would be leaving the crib and their mother behind, once and for all. It was too late to change their minds. They would leave their father and his bitterness behind them and start a new life.
CHAPTER 17
“Do you suppose Bess will take me in, too?”
“Jah, but together we will have to work for one salary.”
Levinia smoothed stray blond hairs from Bethany’s cheek before she rang the bell at the front desk in the lobby of the B&B. The wide hallway of the one-hundred-year-old home boasted a wooden staircase that opened up to the floor above, and several sets of French doors opening to the parlor and formal living and dining rooms. The hardwood floors were worn with age, but still very shiny, and the area rugs were all freshly swept clean. Wood panels, thick with several years of paint, decorated the lower portion of the walls, and curved around the corner wall that led to a private room. It was the only main-level bedroom, and it was set aside as the proprietor’s private quarters. This was indeed a grand old haus with a welcoming porch that stretched the length of the home and wrapped around on both ends. Levinia could feel at home here, couldn’t she?
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