“I’m not entirely to blame. You should take some of that blame yourself. You let me get away with it.”
Levinia shook her head with unbelief. “I can’t believe you would even suggest such a thing. If you had the skills you needed, and didn’t always try to scheme your way through life, Daed would never have had to hire Benjamin in the first place.”
Bethany blew out a discouraging sigh. “I know I wasn’t as welcoming to him as I should have been when Daed first hired him, and I know I messed a lot of stuff up, but I think I love Benjamin, and I don’t want him to leave.”
“Perhaps you should have thought about that before you started acting like a spoiled boppli,” her sister scolded her.
“Please don’t say that,” Bethany said, breaking off an ice sickle from the porch rail of the bakery and nibbling the end of it. “I don’t want to lose the bakery, but I would be even more heart-broken if I lost Benjamin.”
“The way I see it,” Levinia advised. “You have only one choice here. You have to tell Daed the truth.”
“I already tried that and he wouldn’t listen to me. He fired Benjamin anyway,” she said, tears in her eyes. “You could talk to Daed and get him to listen.”
Levinia shook her head. “I’m an adult and married. I have a responsibility to mei husband now, and I don’t think he would want me getting in the middle of your problems with Daed. Perhaps the Widow Yoder could be of some help. She is about to marry Daed. Surely she knows how to handle him by now.”
The two of them giggled, Bethany swiping at tears that still fell.
“If she doesn’t, she’s in for a long end to her life.”
“Jah,” Levinia agreed. “That is for sure and for certain.”
****
Bethany stood on the widow’s porch, her hand mid-air, as she considered leaving before she knocked on the door. She knew if she didn’t get this talk over with, she might lose her nerve. She also knew it was a long-shot to involve the widow, but the woman had already helped her once for her father’s sake. Perhaps she would be a better ally than Bethany thought at first. Because her father could be harsh at times, she wanted someone on her side. Levinia used to be, but now that she was married, she’d left Bethany behind to fend for herself.
Before Bethany had a chance to change her mind, the door swung open and the widow welcomed her in. “I was expecting you,” she said.
Bethany sighed. “I forgot mei vadder tells you everything!”
She followed the woman into the kitchen.
“That isn’t always a bad thing,” the widow said. “I think it could benefit you to have me as a buffer between you and your vadder.”
“Jah,” Bethany agreed. “Which is exactly why I’m here.”
Bethany sat down at the kitchen table and pulled off her mittens while the widow put on the tea kettle.
“I need to tell mei vadder the truth about what happened, and I might need your help with that. I already tried to tell him and he wouldn’t listen to me. I need to clear Benjamin. Everything that went wrong with the bakery was all my fault.”
The widow sat down across from her and smiled. “I’m so happy to hear you take responsibility for your mistakes. It shows you’re growing up.”
“Jah, I’m too grown up to live with mei vadder and his new bride. I certainly don’t want to be there when Benjamin moves out of mei bruder’s loft. But I’ve lost the bakery, which was my only hope of getting out on my own.”
“As for the bakery,” the widow began. “I have no idea if your vadder intends to give you another chance. And I’m not certain I can do anything to help with Benjamin. But as for your feelings about living with us after we are married, I’ve discussed an option with him that he is in agreement with.”
Bethany widened her gaze on the widow, trying to decipher what she was trying to tell her, but couldn’t figure it out. “Is he going to let me take over the loft when Benjamin leaves?”
The widow smiled. “Nee. I wanted to save this until your vadder and I were married, but I’d like you to have mei haus. I never had any kinner of mei own since mei husband passed away only a few years after we were married, so I have no one to pass it on to. I know you’re too old to need a new mamm, but I’d like it if you would consider me part of your familye.”
Bethany couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She looked into the widow’s eyes and saw the kindness of a friend—of a mother. It was something that had been missing from her life since she was too young to remember. Tears welled up in her eyes. Perhaps her life wasn’t ruined after all. Perhaps some good was going to come from all of this. She felt suddenly grown up. She was going to be responsible for her own home, and if she was lucky enough, she’d have her own bakery too. Bethany nodded, accepting the widow’s offer on both accounts.
CHAPTER 25
Bethany rolled over and stuffed her head under the feather pillow to block out the sunlight that had just started to peek through the lace curtains. She’d spent most of the night tossing about in the old, creaky bed in the guest room at the widow’s house. In a heated tantrum, she’d packed her things and left her father’s house before he’d come in from the barn for the night. She didn’t want to be there to witness Benjamin moving out of the loft apartment above the barn.
In a few days, after the widow married her father, she would move her things into the larger bedroom downstairs where the older woman now slept. It would be her house. But until then, she would rather sleep in the guest room at the widow’s home than to stay another night in her father’s house, with whom she was very angry. She was certain the widow had already informed her father that she had moved into her house, and she hoped that he would get the hint of just how mad she was at him.
In the meantime, she did not intend to get up until the widow had left to take her father his afternoon meal, as she had been doing since they’d become engaged. She had no intention of going anywhere near the happy couple. It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy for her father, but her anger toward him for firing Benjamin had clouded her ability to reason.
A knock sounded at her door, causing her heart to race. If she answered, she would have to face the widow, and she wasn’t in the mood for any lectures about giving her father another chance. He hadn’t given one to Benjamin, and that was all that concerned her at the moment. Deciding to ignore the second knock, Bethany closed her eyes and tried to calm her breathing in case the widow should let herself in.
“I’m leaving early to go into to town so I can run a few errands before I go feed your vadder,” the widow said from the other side of the door. “I’ll be back later this evening.”
Bethany didn’t respond, but instead, listened for the footfalls that let her know the widow had left. She let out a heavy sigh of relief. She would have the entire day to herself to think. With her housing situation now taken care of, the biggest dilemma on her mind was to find a way to change her father’s mind about her mother’s bakery.
Unable to sleep, Bethany crawled from beneath the warm quilt and placed her stocking feet onto the cold, wooden floor. She shivered a little as she pulled a knitted throw around her shoulders. She dressed quickly after washing her face and brushing her teeth. The day had already gotten a head start on her, and she wanted to explore her new property a little more in-depth. She hoped the excitement over that would take her mind off Benjamin.
Grabbing a hot cup of coffee, Bethany sipped as she looked out at the snowdrifts that had swept up around the house like a cocoon. The house was quiet—too quiet. Bethany missed the chatter between herself and Levinia in the mornings. Levinia was a morning person, and enjoyed talking early in the morning, while Bethany preferred the quiet. She never let up until Bethany participated in the conversation. She missed that now. She even missed the deliberate footfalls of her father down the stairs when he was too tired to begin his chores in the mornings.
Hoping the loneliness would pass, she shouldered out into the wind, her scarf flapping lightly. She blinked awa
y thick snowflakes that landed on her lashes as she strained to hear the trickle from Willow Creek, despite the snowfall muffling the sounds of the earth around her.
Stepping around the large drifts, Bethany set her course for the creek. She wished she’d had the mindset to have packed her fishing pole, but for now, she would have to do without it. Perhaps later she would ask the widow if she had a fishing pole to lend her.
When she reached the creek, she was surprised to find her father there. She wished she would have seen him earlier so she could have turned around and gone back to the house. It was too late now. He’d already seen her and had nodded toward her.
It wasn’t fair that he’d ambushed her.
He knew the creek would be the first place she would want to explore of her new home. And there he was—waiting for her.
“Frau Yoder told me what really happened with Benjamin,” he began. “I came to tell you that I offered him to return to his job at the bakery, but he turned me down.”
Bethany’s expression fell.
“Why would he do that when everything was my fault?”
Her father looked out over the creek as if deep in thought. “He told me he doesn’t believe you’re serious about running the bakery. Perhaps when you’re a little older and have settled down from your rumspringa.”
“Nee,” she denied. “I haven’t taken mei rumspringa yet, and I hadn’t intended to take it because I hoped I would marry Benjamin.”
Bethany knew it was a bold confession to make to her father, but she had failed so miserably at everything lately that she felt she had nothing more to lose by continuing her antics. She figured it wouldn’t hurt to give the truth a try for a change, and let the chips fall where they may.
“I had no idea the two of you were so close,” her father said cautiously. “But dear dochder, you have been on rumspringa ever since your mamm passed from this world.”
“But Daed…”
Her father held up a hand to stop her mid-sentence. “Nee, let me finish. I blame myself for this. I should have put mei kinner first, instead of hiding behind my own grief. If I’d taken better care of the three of you, I would have been the one fixing the fence the day Daniel died.”
Bethany looked into her father’s eyes, seeing a deep remorse she’d never seen there before. She’d had no idea he’d been carrying around such guilt for so many years over the death of her brother.
His jaw clenched and his face grew red, as if he would burst into tears at any moment. Bethany closed the space between them and hugged her father for the first time since she was young.
“I love you, Daed.”
He bent toward her and hugged her back.
“I love you too, Bethany.”
CHAPTER 26
Bethany waited at the edge of the road in front of the bakery—her bakery. Libby had come in on the afternoon bus from Nappanee, and she could hardly wait to see her. She had so much to tell her, she felt as if she would burst if the girl didn’t show up soon.
Then, her thoughts turned to Benjamin.
Oh, how she wished she had news to share with her best friend about Benjamin. If only her father had been able to convince him to stay on at the bakery and teach her. Now, she would have to remind Libby of her promise to run it with her. She’d talked to her father well into the day, and he’d complimented her on her progress in learning. It was Benjamin who had told him she was ready to run the place on her own—Benjamin, who’d convinced her father that she had a talent for baking if she could only have enough confidence in herself. At the conclusion of their talk, it was her father’s declaration that he was proud of her that had given her the courage to accept the bakery, knowing that Benjamin was right. She knew how to bake, and it was all because of his generosity and patience with her that had done it.
Bethany tipped her chin up slightly and smiled.
Danki, Lord for blessing me with the ability to bake. I pray that you will help me to carry on mei mamm’s legacy with her bakery so she can be proud of me when she looks down from Heaven to watch over me. Lord, if it be your will, please bless me with Benjamin for a husband.
She knew her father would probably scold her for such a prideful prayer, but she just couldn’t help but hope that God was as proud of her as she was of herself.
The familiar clip-clop of horse’s hooves filled her with excitement. Libby would finally be home after such a long stay with her cousins, and the two of them could finally do what they’d always said they would do, from the time they were young; run the bakery together. It had been Bethany’s dream for so many years, and now, it was about to come true.
As the buggy neared, Libby waved. Bethany walked swiftly toward her, unable to contain her excitement any longer. Adam stopped the buggy and let his sister out to prevent her from jumping from the seat. Practically jumping into Bethany’s arms, they giggled and hugged as if the time between them had been years rather than weeks.
“I’ve missed you so,” Bethany managed around the laughter. “I have so much to tell you.”
“Does it involve a beau?” Libby asked excitedly.
Bethany’s expression sank. “Nee, I’m afraid it doesn’t, but mei daed finally gave his permission for the two of us to run the bakery. Kume, see how nicely it’s been fixed up.”
“I saw it from the road, and couldn’t believe how much it’s changed. Are you certain he’s going to let the two of us run it by ourselves?”
Libby looped her arm in Bethany’s as they walked toward the bakery. “Tell me, since there isn’t a beau in your life yet, are you ready to consider settling down with mei bruder? I want you to be mei schweschder.”
Bethany practically choked on her friend’s words as she thought of Benjamin. She hadn’t told Libby about him yet—mostly because there wasn’t anything she could say about him that wouldn’t cause her complete embarrassment.
“Nee,” Bethany finally answered. “He’s always been in love with Melody Stoltzfus.”
“Jah, but Melody doesn’t seem interested in ending her rumspringa, and mei bruder isn’t getting any younger.”
“If he loves her enough, he will wait for her.”
Bethany reflected on Benjamin again, and wondered how long she would have to wait for him. Would he ever forgive her, or would he move on and find someone else that wasn’t as difficult to love as Melody likely was for Adam.
The two stepped up onto the porch of the bakery and walked inside. Libby freed herself from Bethany and wandered over to the front counter. The glass had been replaced, and doilies lined the shelves, where trays littered with crumbs boasted a working bakery.
“Everything is so clean,” Libby said with a smile. “It all looks so new.”
She walked over to the stainless steel prep table and ran her hand along the freshly washed surface. Bethany could see that her father had cleaned up and removed the burnt loaves of bread from the sink. Or had he? She took a closer look around, noting how neat and clean the place was. The widow was more likely the one who’d cleaned the mess—especially since Benjamin had rejected the offer of employment from her father. Bethany concluded that the woman must have offered to clean so her father could come and speak with her at the creek.
What a blessing it will be to have her as a new mamm, Bethany thought.
“Your last letter to me said your vadder hired Miriam’s bruder to teach you how to bake. He must have taught you very well for your vadder to let you take over on your own.”
Jah, he was a gut teacher,” Bethany said sadly.
Libby ignored her as she looked around the bakery, a far-off look in her eyes. “Who would have thought such a handsome mann knew how to bake?”
Bethany felt her heart skip a beat.
“Your letter said how difficult it was for you to get along with him, and how much you disliked him. I can’t imagine that. He was so nice at Miriam’s wedding.”
I never said I didn’t like him. I said I didn’t like having to work with him as mei boss.<
br />
“Well, I think he’s worth pursuing,” Libby continued, ignoring Bethany’s sudden change in mood. “I think I shall set mei aim on him. He would make a gut match for a husband. Ain’t it so?”
Bethany couldn’t answer. She was suddenly filled with too much regret over not sharing her feelings for Benjamin.
CHAPTER 27
Bethany took in a deep breath, enjoying the aroma of fresh-baked bread. Bread that she, herself had baked, without the help of anyone. A sense of pride filled her as she heard the jingle of the bells on the door of the bakery from just outside the kitchen door.
Their first customer had arrived.
With Libby behind the counter that was already filled to the brim with the first batch of bread and whoopie pies, along with various cakes and cookies, that the two of them had spent the morning baking, Bethany sighed with relief. Success was just around the corner, as would be the words she’d longed to hear from her father. Soon, very soon, he would tell her how proud he was of her, and the thought of it made her smile.
Her smile quickly turned to dread as she heard Benjamin’s voice in the lobby. Bethany tossed the linen towel in her hand across the counter with a slap. She would not let him ruin her first day on her own in the bakery. The day she and Libby had been dreaming of nearly most of their lives.
Before she could push through the swinging door that separated the kitchen from the lobby, Bethany overheard Libby offering Benjamin a taste of the cookies they’d baked.
It’s a sample, Libby. I’ve told you a million times to offer customers a sample—not a taste.
Still standing behind the door, Bethany suddenly realized why Libby had called it a taste. She was flirting shamelessly with Benjamin.
Bethany could feel her blood boiling.
Before she could aim her anger toward her life-long friend, she remembered that she had never told Libby of her feelings for Benjamin. But Benjamin knew of her feelings, and he was being a little more cordial toward Libby than she was comfortable with.
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