* * *
James
* * *
Okay, I had been stupid and immature, but who could blame me? I was in the dressing room, enduring the usual media scrum, and hearing the same questions over and over. While I didn’t mind doing it after a win, I was always pissed off after a loss and hated rehashing the game. We lost because we didn’t score more goals than the other team. What was so hard about that?
And then to have Kelly appear in the room, and start asking me questions like every other idiot. What was weird was that I sensed she was there before I even saw her. I sniffed something crazy and familiar. It was just a whiff of lemon and spice and sweetness, above the usual dressing room smells. Lucky I still had my hockey pants on, because the scent was giving me a hard-on.
And then I looked over the heads of the reporters and there she was. She was looking at me expectantly and waiting for me to answer. I was kind of stunned silent for a moment, but then all I felt was resentment. How come she got everything she wanted? She was probably engaged to stupid Davidson and now she had the perfect job as a hockey reporter. Only a few months ago she was the receptionist, for crying out loud. Who gets to be a reporter in that short a time and without any experience?
So, I didn’t answer her. She had made my life miserable for long enough, so I felt like I could inconvenience her a little bit. She looked different, more grown up and polished. But even I couldn’t deny how good she still looked. I’d never seen her in a suit before, and she looked professional, but still hot.
With all this crap going through my brain, I ignored her question. I guess I was still upset with her. Or maybe it bothered me that I hadn’t even known that this was what she was doing. She should have warned me she was going to be in the room—on my turf.
The scrum finished quickly, probably because I was so distracted. Tim Glasser from Hawks Media Relations asked to speak to me privately. We stepped into the trainer’s room and shut the door.
“So, that scrum with Kelly Tanaka didn’t go so well.”
“What’s she doing here? How long has she been doing this?”
“She’s a reporter for C2C Sports. She started there a couple of months ago. But this was her first time doing a postgame. I suspect they sent her as a deliberate provocation for you.”
I guess it had worked then. Tim continued, “I guess her being in the room is a problem for you. Do you want me to get rid of her?”
I shrugged. The biggest problem was that I wanted to run over and start by kissing her and finish up by fucking her, but that wasn’t the kind of problem I wanted to share with Media Relations.
Professionally speaking, I was torn. I didn’t want to be a prima donna who got reporters banned from the room. If I banned her, it would seem like sour grapes. And I knew deep down that I wanted to see her. It was stupid, but outside of all the emotion she churned up in me, part of me liked seeing her. There were so many nights I longed to call her, not even to get back together but just to talk again. Talking to her always eased my mind because she understood everything. Maybe with time, we could even be friends again—but not if I kicked her out of the room.
I replied calmly. “It’s not a problem for me. I was surprised. I know I did the wrong thing tonight, but now that I know she’ll be there, it’s fine.”
“James, are you sure? If she was a legitimate reporter, I would agree with you, but I suspect they’re only using her for your games. I’ve never seen her on any Canucks broadcasts.”
“No, it’s good. If that’s it, I’m going to finish getting dressed now.”
We had a two-day stay in Vancouver before our next game in Edmonton, and a bunch of us were going out for dinner tonight.
When we came out of the trainer's room, Kelly was gone. I felt disappointed, but I suspected that I wouldn’t be on her top ten list right now.
41
Closing Doors
“Hey, Doggy-style,” Anders called out on Monday morning. “Good piece on the fight Saturday night.”
Jeremy, along with the video editor, Brownie, had taken our interviews with the two combatants and spliced them together into a pretty good piece. It was hard to tell who was angrier, March or Kissman. Zack had filmed an angle with my surprised reaction to Kissman’s profanity-laden tirade. As if I hadn’t used all of those words myself. And then we used their threats to promote the next time the teams met up in March. All in all, a good night’s work.
As for the other part of my evening, Brownie had taken pity on me and spliced the Frechette interview so that it looked like Jimmy had actually answered my question. I thanked him, and he gruffly brushed me off, muttering something about asshole superstars. There was a real possibility that my issue with Jimmy might not be discovered. However, once something happened on camera, the video record was forever. The Frechette piece was a boring scrum video, which aired once and then had been shunted off to the website. Hopefully, the good stuff I did outweighed the bad.
I was working at my desk when Williams walked by. Without even stopping he called out, “Tanaka. In my office.”
There was glee in his voice. The whole office went silent and everyone stared at me. I heard someone whisper, “Who’s got today in the pool?”
Taking a deep breath, I stood up and walked in his office.
“Shut the door,” he snapped. I did so and sat down.
“So, Tanaka, I understand that you had a little problem in the Hawk’s room on Saturday.”
So much for the carefully edited tape. But he was right; I had failed in my reporter job. “Yes. James Frechette would not answer my question.”
“And why do you think that was?” Williams was leaning back in his ergonomic leatherette chair and smiling. The fucker was really enjoying this.
“I don’t know. But I would assume it’s because we once had a personal relationship.”
“Yeah, that seems about right. Given that you can’t do your job, I’m going to have to let you go.”
“Are you kidding me? Over this? Look, I think it was only the shock of seeing me in the room. I can talk to James and smooth things over. I’m sure it will be fine the next time.” I swallowed. Please, let there be a next time.
“Yeah, sure. I know exactly how you’d smooth things over. Since you’re still on probation, I don’t even have to give you cause, but I will give you some advice. You can’t sleep your way to the top.”
“That’s bullshit. It’s true that I dated James, but everything else is a lie. I never had a personal relationship with Ross Laurie or anyone else.”
Williams sneered at me. “Really? Well, I heard you were coming on to Peter Haines before a live interview. The only reason I didn’t fire you then was because I didn’t have any proof. But I do have the thing with you and Frechette on tape—despite your best efforts to edit it out.”
I stood up, but I wasn’t leaving without telling him what I really thought. “You know what? I worked really hard and tried to do a good job when I got nothing in the way of real training or help. Even though you tried to sabotage me at every turn, I still lasted this long. If you don’t recognize potential because of your own prejudices, that’s your loss.”
He shook his head and waved in a mocking way. “Bye-bye, Tanaka. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out. I’ve already spoken to H.R,. and I’ll have Security escort you out, since you’re the kind of person who would do something emotional and vindictive.”
Luckily I wasn’t a crier, since it was pretty painful to get fired in front of a bunch of people who put money on when this day would happen. I went to my desk and cleaned it out with Gar from Security watching me. I didn’t have a ton of stuff to pack; all my files were on my BlackBerry anyway. I boxed up the mini-terrarium my dad had given me, my coffee cup, and my makeup bag. Everyone in the office was pretending not to watch.
As I walked out, Jeremy Ormiston stopped me. “I’m sorry you’re going, Kelly. You did a great job on Saturday night.”
“Thank you, Jeremy
,” I said. But I wasn’t sure if he really meant it or he was merely happy because he had won the pool.
* * *
I got home around lunchtime and was surprised to find April there. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work now?”
“Ugh. They’ve halted production completely. There’s a rumour we might get cancelled, but they won’t know anything until Friday. I’m working on my résumé.”
“Awesome. That makes two of us.”
April searched my face for signs of a joke. “Wait. What are you doing home so early?”
“I got fired,” I said, and then burst into tears.
“Oh my God, Kelly.” She ran over and threw her arms around me and squeezed tightly.
“I worked so hard,” I sobbed. “And I got fired for one stupid thing. It’s not fair.” April kept holding onto me and finally got me to sit down on the couch. I didn’t cry that long, but I felt embarrassed.
“I’m sorry I broke down like that.”
“It’s okay. I totally panicked though. I’ve never seen you cry before.” She hugged me again. “Would you like a cup of tea?”
“Yeah, sure.” April bustled off to make the tea. She returned with tea and Oreos.
“Okay, tell me the whole story. Those idiots have not appreciated you from day one.”
I gave her the short version, and she was filled with indignation.
“I can’t believe he did that. Your boss is an enormous douchebag, and James is a bigger one.”
“I guess he’s still mad at me.”
“He needs to suck it up. It’s been months, and he’s a big boy. What a turd-head.”
“To be fair, he didn’t know it would get me fired.”
“Why should we be fair? I know how hard you’ve worked, you did insane hours and all that work at home too.”
“Yeah, that’s what bothers me most. I feel like I made this decision to put my time and effort into a career instead of a relationship. Because a guy could leave, but you’ll always have your work. And look how things turned out.”
“Yeah. Well, at least you have the experience and a demo reel for your next job.”
“And I have no idea what my next job will be.” I sighed. It was too soon to think about all this. “Crap, April, I don’t even get severance. How am I going to keep paying the rent? What if we’re both unemployed by this weekend?”
“We’re two gorgeous, intelligent, hard-working women. Something will turn up. Or maybe we’ll have to start our own business.”
I stretched out on the couch. “What business? Designer clothes made out of hockey jerseys? The mind boggles.” I couldn’t ask my parents for money; they were far away having their big adventure, and I didn’t want to worry them. Besides, only a few months ago, we were celebrating my successful independence.
I’d have to find a new job, but I had no in-depth skills or experience yet, and my demo reel was pretty lame.
April patted my shoulder. “Stop worrying. I can see it on your face. Take this week off, and we’ll both find jobs next week. I have a rich fiancé who can pay our rent for a month if need be. In fact, this will give me more time for the wedding, and you could help.”
“That’s not really a paying job.” I couldn’t go back to the radio station either; all my old jobs were filled. “How long do I get to wallow for?”
“Given our precarious financial situation—24 hours,” April said. I knew she was joking, but she was right. I decided to be nice to myself all day and then start job-hunting tomorrow.
42
Who’s Sorry Now
James
* * *
Since we were staying in Vancouver for two days, we practiced at GM Place on Monday afternoon. The Canucks were coming off the ice as we were going on, and a few media types were here for them. As the departing opponents, nobody wanted to talk to us, and I couldn’t see Kelly anywhere.
I was retying my skates on the bench, when someone spoke to me.
“Hey, dude.”
“Yeah?” I looked up and saw a skinny, long-haired cameraman.
“You’re a big fucking asshole,” he said.
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah, it would have taken ten seconds and no effort at all for you to answer Kelly’s question. I hope you’re happy now.”
“What are you talking about?”
He glared at me. “She got fired. Because you’re a jerk-off.”
“No way. Over that?”
He gave me one last scowl and left. It was tough to practice after that, but I kept my focus. As soon as I got off the ice, I called Tim Glasser.
“What’s up, James?”
“Is it true that Kelly Tanaka got fired because I wouldn’t talk to her?” The question came out more baldly than I had intended.
“Well, uh, I did hear something along those lines. But let me double check.”
I was back at the hotel by the time Tim called.
“Okay, I managed to get the full story. You don’t have to feel responsible. Apparently, she got caught in some kind of territorial dispute between head office and Vancouver. If it wasn’t this thing with you, it would have been something else.”
But it had been the thing with me, and I felt terrible. Fame came with responsibility, and that something that I was still learning. If you had one off-day and were rude to a fan, they would get upset and tell their friends. Or if you weren’t playing well for an extended period, people looked for causes in your personal life. And now, my acting like a petty child resulted in Kelly getting fired.
“Can’t I do something about this? I’d be happy to give her an exclusive interview or whatever they want. I want to fix things.”
“Realistically, they’re not going to rehire her just because we offer them an interview. The whole deal was a set-up anyway. They sent her because they wanted you to be embarrassed. She’s not an experienced reporter, and she shouldn’t even have been in the room.”
I couldn’t believe how cold Tim was being about this whole deal. “But I got her fired,” I repeated.
“James, it wasn’t your finest moment, and you can learn from this. If my ex showed up unexpectedly, I might do something dumb too. Besides, did you see the hatchet job she did on Kisser? I’ve had to put out a few fires because of that. The league hates hearing threats off the ice. She acts all innocent, but she’s really a barracuda.”
“Make up your mind. Is she a good reporter or a bad one? Anyway, won’t this be bad publicity for our team? That we got a reporter fired.”
“She’s nobody. If she were a popular reporter, there might be backlash, but nobody even knows who she is.”
If Tim was in the room, I might have hit him by now. But I had already let my emotions get the better of me and look how that turned out. I thanked him and hung up. Then I cancelled my dinner plans and headed out to Kelly’s place.
When I knocked on the door of her apartment, April opened it, took one look at me and slammed it shut. I heard the deadbolt dropping for good measure.
“Please, April. I just want to see Kelly and apologize for what I’ve done,” I yelled through the door.
“Really? I thought you weren’t talking to her. Isn’t that the problem?” April’s voice was only slightly muffled. “Anyway, she’s not even here.”
“Where is she?”
“Like I’d tell you. Go away.”
“She’s at Phil’s, isn’t she? Okay, fine, I’ll go and talk to her there. That’s how bad I feel.”
I heard the bolt click and the door opened. April squinted at me. “Say what?”
“Uh, that’s how bad I feel about what happened,” I repeated.
“No, why would you think she’s at Phil’s?”
“Because she chose him over me. They’re probably engaged by now, right?”
April shook her head. “Not hardly. What exactly did Kelly say to you when she broke up with you?”
“I don’t know. Why are you asking me this?”
“Oh, no reason.
Look, Kelly has gone out, and she won’t be back for ages—years even. I will let her know you were here and you apologized for being the world’s biggest dickhead. Now leave.”
The door closed again. This time I could hear April walking away, so my options would be to camp out on the doorstep or go and search for Kelly. What would Kelly do if she were stressed?
* * *
When I left the gym, Jimmy was sitting on the bench near where my bike was locked. It was raining lightly, and he had his collar pulled up and a knit cap pulled down. Our eyes met, but neither one of us said anything for a moment. Then he rushed over.
“Kelly, I’m so, so sorry. I was a complete idiot, and I wanted to apologize for everything that happened to you.”
I nodded at him, but no words would come out.
“Look, can we talk for a bit? Do you want to go to dinner or something?”
I shook my head. “I’m kind of in a weird place right now, and you’re the last person I want to talk to.”
“Okay, sure. How about five minutes instead? We could go for a coffee, or just walk.”
Having finished a tough workout, I was feeling damp and icky. All I wanted to do was go home and take a shower. And frankly, I was tired of doing everything on the schedule of big, important men. “I’m going to get cleaned up. If you want to go for coffee after that, fine.”
“Okay, sure. Where should I wait? At your place?” He sounded completely uncertain for once.
“No, there’s a coffee shop near our place, at the corner of Georgia and Jackson. I’ll meet you there in 40 minutes.” Then I hopped on my bike and took off without looking back.
After a shower, I still wasn’t feeling that endorphin high. I wondered how long it would take me to feel better. When hockey finished, I felt depressed because it was like losing a part of myself. Now I was more angry and frustrated. And I felt discouraged. No matter how hard I worked, I came up against sexism. I felt like I had tried to play with boys my whole life, but I was never going to be allowed to. Sure, they might be nice to me, but that was only—as Williams had pointed out—for one reason.
Hockey Is My Boyfriend: Part Three Page 24
