I turned my phone on and saw a few missed calls. Then my cell rang again and I checked the caller I.D.
Jimmy.
Shoot. Unless I was into double standards, I had to answer, but I really didn’t want to. I knew he was in town since the Hawks were here for the second round of the playoffs. Last night he’d had zero points in a loss to the Canucks. Not that I was gloating.
“Jimmy?”
“Hey, Kelly. How’s everything?” His voice sounded tight and nervous.
“Everything is fine. What do you want?”
“Look, I want to show you something. It’s really important and it has to do with you. All the stuff you said to me before, I thought about it and it’s all true.”
“What stuff?” To be honest, Jimmy wasn’t someone I had thought much about since I got fired. I was too busy trying to hold things together.
He hesitated, and then went on. “You know—about me being an arrogant douche.”
I laughed because it was funny to hear him admit it. “Oh yeah, that stuff.”
“It won’t take long, Kelly. If we could just meet for twenty minutes? Even fifteen. Wherever you want.”
I hesitated. I didn’t want to open up this wound again, but it was refreshing to hear him admit his douche-baggery. However, he wasn’t someone I wanted to be seen in public with, since he was on the enemy side in these playoffs and undoubtedly getting recognized more and more.
“I’m at Whistler right now. Why don’t you come by my place after dinner? Say 7:30?” April would not approve, but luckily she was usually out or busy since her wedding day was coming up fast.
Jimmy arrived exactly on time. He had a black messenger bag with him. His casual clothes looked designer and expensive. I reflexively offered him a drink, and once we both had glasses of water, we sat down in the living room. He pulled out his laptop and opened up a Power Point presentation. Some things hadn’t changed.
He cleared his throat. “I wanted to let you know that you were the one who inspired me to do all this. Baller told me you asked him to sponsor that minor hockey team. I wish you had asked me instead, but I understand why that didn’t happen. But the idea was so you—you’re always on the side of the underdog.”
I shrugged. It wasn’t a big deal. I loved working with the kids, and one benefit of getting fired was that I got to go back and help them finish the season. We lost our only playoff game, but everyone was feeling good by the end. It seemed pretty clear that next year’s team would be at least average—which was a huge improvement.
Jimmy showed me the plans for a program that riffed on some of my ideas—getting ice time during the day at various rinks and introducing kids to skating. The focus would be on neighbourhoods where the kids wouldn’t normally get to learn to skate or play hockey.
“I talked to this marketing guy, and he said you need to be able to sum up the idea in a catchy phrase—we called it ‘Big Brothers on ice.’ But of course, it’s for girls too. And the program is called the Fresh Ice Foundation. It’s kind of a play on my old nickname.”
“Oh right, Freshy. That’s cool.”
“Do you think so?” He looked very pleased. “I like the fact that it’s not about being good at hockey, but skating and playing for fun.”
“Yeah, hockey should be for everyone.” I’d seen firsthand how much kids enjoyed improving and measuring progress against themselves.
“Are you still playing?”
I shook my head. These days, my hours were too erratic to fit hockey in as well.
“That’s a shame,” he said. “I know how much you enjoy it.”
True, but paying the rent came before hockey. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Where are you working these days?” he asked.
“I have several part-time jobs,” I told him. I debated telling him about the Chill Guides one, since that was the most glamourous. But what was the point of trying to impress him?
“Kelly, I don’t want to pressure you in any way. I have no idea where your life is at and what you have going on. But if working on this program appeals to you at all, there would be so many ways you could help us. Ideally, I could see you as a program head or instructor, who also works on our board. So grassroots stuff, but contributing your ideas as well.”
He sounded so corporate, but I couldn’t deny how exciting a job like this would be for me. It was perfect. I hated being in an office all day, and I loved working with kids. But I also got frustrated with the systems, so having input into the programs would be golden.
“Well, how would this whole thing work?”
“You’d have to move to Chicago. Don’t worry—there are no strings attached. It’s a fulltime job that would pay enough that you could have your own place or whatever. If you want, Baller has offered his spare room for you—although I’d make sure there was a better lock on the door first.”
So far he hadn’t said a word about getting back together. But still, it didn’t take a PhD to figure this out.
“At the risk of sounding completely egotistical,” I began. “Did you develop a whole charity program to get me a job in Chicago?”
Jimmy’s expression finally lightened. “Well, kinda. You are the inspiration. You made me remember that everyone wants to be a better—not just the top players. Hockey’s not about money or a job, it’s about having fun. Playing for life.”
He ran his hand over the laptop, like he was caressing the actual project. “Don’t feel any pressure. This is going ahead with you or without you. Once it got rolling, I got pretty excited about the whole deal, so I’m committed now.” He grinned at me. “It would be better with you, though. Unless you’ve got some good thing going on here.”
Was he being sarcastic? He looked completely innocent, so I guess he had no idea of my hand to mouth existence.
What I had going on here was a roommate who was getting married this month and leaving me to find a new roomie. Two minimum-wage jobs with no future and one volunteer gig. A well-used mountain bike and second-hand furniture. In short, I had a lot of things that I wouldn’t mind leaving. I could always come back to work on the Chill Guide stuff.
“I guess I’m interested,” I said.
He smiled. “Well, that’s great, Kelly. Really great.” Then he didn’t say anything else, but I recognized his nervous tics. He began fidgeting.
“So, is that it?”
His gaze dropped and then rose again. “I won’t lie. I’d like us to go out again. But I don’t know what you want.” His intensity kicked in. “Kelly, I hope you can see I’ve changed. And I’d like to keep becoming a better person. Do you know how that could be easier?”
“How?”
“If I had someone in my life to tell me when I was being an… asshole.” He spoke the word almost delicately, since he rarely swore in front of me. His mother’s training, no doubt. His expression was hopeful. “And you’re the perfect person for that job too.”
I threw my head back and laughed. Jimmy correctly took this for encouragement. He moved closer and slid his arm behind me on the couch.
“Would you like to come to tomorrow night’s game?”
I considered this. Duh, would I like to see a playoff game? “Sure. But… I don’t know if I can change allegiances that fast.”
He frowned. “You mean you’re still going to cheer for the Canucks?”
I giggled. “It’s tough to change over ten years of fandom. It took me a year to switch from cheering for the Sens when we moved here. So you may not want to get a ticket for an opposing fan.”
“Of course I do. But maybe I can change your mind.” Did he remember how watching him play made me hot for him? But that was the past.
“Okay, great.”
“And then, maybe you’d like to come to Chicago too? For games three and four?”
I hesitated.
“No pressure at all, Kelly. You can stay with me, but I have two guest rooms. My parents will be in one—so it’s like we’d have chaperones.”
He said no pressure, but I could tell that Jimmy was getting more and more excited every time I agreed to one of his suggestions. The real question was—had he changed? Were things now different enough that we could work things out?
I think I was stronger now. I had certainly suffered through enough crap at work. Even being fired showed me that I could survive. If I did get back with Jimmy, I didn’t think he’d be able to overwhelm me anymore. I had learned to stand up for myself.
And he was different now. I could tell he was nervous and worried that I would kick his laptop, his business plan, and his ass right out the door.
“Of course I’d like to watch the series, both here and in Chicago. But I want to take things between us slowly. I’ll think about the job and check things out more while I’m in Chicago.”
Relief flooded over his face, and he grinned for the first time tonight. “Thanks, Kelly. For even considering all this.”
“Meantime, isn’t this a distraction for you? You’ve got playoffs on.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I better get going.” He shouldered his laptop case and got up to leave. I walked him to the door, and he turned and put his hands on my shoulders.
“How come you always get everything right?” Jimmy asked.
“I don’t. I screw up constantly.”
He shook his head. “You get the important stuff right.” His face came closer to mine, and I felt the heat of his breath. Then his lips touched my cheek—only for a brief, gentle moment. He caressed the side of my face.
“Thank you, Kelly. For being so real.”
He left, and I leaned against the closed door. Jimmy was different; he was so sweet and affectionate—just like he used to be. Could there be a chance?
45
Chicago Fire
“Oh my God,” I declared. “This place is absolutely crazy.”
Maddy Wilson nodded. She was the girlfriend of defenceman Ian MacEwan and also my guide to all things Blackhawks. This was my second game in Chicago, and I couldn’t help but get buzzed on the energy level.
She explained, “It’s always noisy here, but with the playoffs everything’s multiplied ten times. It’s been years since we were in the playoffs and even longer since we’ve won a round. Everyone is going nuts.”
I nodded. The whole crowd was wearing red jerseys. Except me, of course, and Maddy had only a Hawks ball cap on. Maddy was so nice and not at all what I had expected in a hockey girlfriend. She was from B.C. and had played collegiate sports too, and we had so much in common.
“Where are James’s parents tonight?” she asked me.
“Oh, his mom is a teacher, and she didn’t want to take a whole week off. They went home after the last game, and then we’ll meet them in Vancouver on the weekend.” The series was 2-1 in favour of the Canucks, so there would be more games in Vancouver. How many more remained to be seen.
“Hey y’all.”
I looked up at this completely stunning woman. She had thick blonde hair, violet eyes, and perfect skin. She was exactly what I thought hockey girlfriends would look like.
“Oh hi, Cherie,” Maddy said. “This is Kelly Tanaka.”
“Hi, Cherie. Nice to meet you.”
“Oh, the pleasure’s all mine.” She smiled, but she was looking me over with laser eyes. “So, this is our baby captain’s new girlfriend? He certainly doesn’t have a type, does he?”
“Not sure what you’re talking about,” I told her. “But Jimmy and I are friends—that’s it.” He had been true to his word. I had flown in two days ago, and I had my own bedroom. With his parents there, nothing had happened—not even a good night kiss. But now that they were gone it might be a different story. There was no denying our underlying sexual tension.
“Cherie, chill out,” Maddy warned, but Cherie perched on the side of my seat.
“Do you have any opinions on fundraising activities?” she wondered.
“Um, they’re a good thing?” I replied. “What’s going on?”
Maddy answered, “Can I explain why Cherie—who is normally a sweetheart—is being so weird? She had a run-in with James’s previous girlfriend. Astrid Dahl wanted to run all the Blackhawk’s wives events because she was the captain’s girlfriend.”
“Acid, I called her,” Cherie declared with a giggle. “Also Barbie Dahl and many worse things. When he turfed her, I broke open a bottle of champagne.”
“Did you even know about her, Kelly?” Maddy asked, worried that I might be upset.
“No. But it’s no big deal. As I said, we’re not really dating.” Yet, I added in my head.
Cherie finally gave me a genuine smile. “I can see you’re the opposite of Ass-turd, and that’s all good. But I don’t know why y’all are denying you’re James’s girlfriend. He’s been talking about you non-stop.”
Maddy interrupted. I had explained everything to her already, and she knew I didn’t like to be pressured about the state of my relationship. “Kelly has a horrible secret.”
“Oh, do tell,” said Cherie.
Maddy pretended to whisper behind her hand. “She’s cheering for the Canucks.”
Cherie’s eyes went wide. “Why that’s treasonous. And if you’re such a fan, how come you’re not wearing a jersey?”
“Because I don’t have a death wish,” I replied.
Maddy laughed. “I don’t think the fans here are that scary. They’re excitable, but not violent.”
“I don’t mean the fans—it’s Jimmy. He’s already so indignant.”
“As he should be,” Cherie said. “After all, he’s paying for your tickets and everything.”
“Don’t worry,” I laughed. “He’s been playing his best to try to convert me. Besides, it shows I’m a loyal person.” I figured it was a good thing that I wasn’t a bandwagon-fan. I tried to cheer for both teams last game, but that was a confusing disaster. But I could see that the more I got to know and like everyone here, the harder it would be not to root for them.
The Blackhawks won the game in overtime, and Jimmy was so excited afterwards. The Canucks had a one-goal lead, but a five-minute span at the end of the game and then in overtime had seen the Blackhawks roar back. We went out for dinner with some of his friends, and Jimmy was happy about that too. He was talking non-stop as we drove home.
“Everyone likes you. And you like them too, right?”
“Sure. Why wouldn’t I? They’re so nice.”
He shook his head. “I guess. It’s just that everything’s great when you’re here. Can you believe the series is tied now? I feel like our game is really coming together.”
“You had a great game,” I told him. “You took that huge hit in the third, but it started the play that ended up in the tying goal. Total leadership move.”
Jimmy turned and grinned at me. “Don’t ever change, Kelly.”
We got back to his beautiful condo. It was spacious and perfectly decorated with three bedrooms, a game room, a high-end kitchen, a living room and den. Jimmy went to get changed, and I looked out at the view. The lights of the city were twinkling and the darkness was water; I think it was Lake Michigan. I shivered a little at the vastness of it all.
“You cold?” Jimmy was behind me, now wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt.
“No. But the view is almost scary all the way up here. There’s a lot of wind around the building.”
“Yeah. When I first moved here, I felt like Chicago was so big that I’d never be comfortable here. But it’s like anything. You adjust. We got to a lot of the same places because we feel comfortable there.” In the reflection of the glass, I saw him reach out to put his hands on my shoulders and then pull back.
I turned around, and he smiled at me. Then he moved towards the kitchen. “Uh, I’m getting some water, do you want anything?”
“No. I’m kinda tired. I think I’ll go to bed now.” I was actually a little nervous being alone with him. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to happen now.
“Already? Okay, I guess I
better get to bed soon too.”
“Good night.” I went to my room. There was an ensuite so I washed up and got changed. My pajamas were a t-shirt and animal print shorts, an outfit that April called “grade seven sleepover.”
After I got into bed, there was a quiet tapping on the door.
“Yes?”
Jimmy peeked in. “Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to switch rooms. The room my parents were staying in is bigger, so if you wanted—”
“It’s okay. This room is great, thanks.” This room was way bigger than my own bedroom.
He sidled in and sat down on the corner of my bed. He was wearing sweatpants—only sweatpants—and he looked amazing. There was a dark bruise above his left pectoral muscle that needed medical attention. Maybe a little kissing and making it better?
Bad Kelly. I closed my eyes.
“Um, I was also wondering if you had decided about the job… and everything.” I had met with Billie Eisenger, a consultant who Jimmy had hired to set up his charitable foundation and put a working structure in place. We went over the long-range plans and what my role would be. Everything looked fantastic: the job was challenging, the pay was great, and not surprisingly the schedule would leave me free all summer—just like Jimmy.
The job was perfect. The only question that remained was the rest of the deal. Obviously saying yes to the job meant saying yes to going out with Jimmy again. But had we truly grown enough so that this could work?
“I’d like a little time to think about it,” I told him honestly. I’d been so wrapped up in the playoff game, that I hadn’t thought about anything else tonight.
“Okay.” He smiled, but I could hear the wistful tone in his voice. He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. “Good night, Kelly.”
Once he left, I turned out the bedside light and lay on my back. What more did I need to decide? I had already said no to Jimmy once, even though I loved him.
One reason I said no was because he had been so arrogant, and now he was acting all sweet and shy—just like he used to be. Was that because I had told him off? Or was that the real Jimmy? I realized that the arrogance was a protective front and, underneath, he was still the same.
Hockey Is My Boyfriend: Part Three Page 26
