by Kendall Ryan
Quinn had told me that Cooper had checked himself into the swanky Lancaster hotel in the heart of the city. When I got to reception and learned he’d booked himself the presidential suite—on the company credit card—my blood pressure skyrocketed, but I promised myself I wouldn’t deck the son of a bitch upon entry.
When I knocked, Cooper took his time, the door only finally opening several minutes later. He was dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants, the cashmere ones that Quinn had gotten him the Christmas before, and a wrinkled black T-shirt. He hadn’t shaved in days, his hair was a mess, and if I didn’t know better, I’d swear he’d opted out of showering these past few days. Nice.
“You look like shit.” I pushed past him, letting myself inside.
“Hello, brother dearest.”
Noting his monotone voice, I wondered if he’d fought Quinn over the idea of my visit. Probably.
“Get dressed,” I said. “We’re going to dinner.”
Cooper dropped onto the plush sofa. “No thanks. I’d rather stay in.”
This was going well. My gaze scanned the suite, zeroing in on a glass bar cart at the far end of the living area. The crystal decanter of bourbon was calling to me.
Pouring myself a measure, I ignored his pointed stare and the anger I could feel rolling off him in waves.
“You just can’t handle not calling the shots, can you, Gavin?” he taunted.
I blew out a frustrated sigh and took a sip of my drink, appreciating its fiery burn. “I’ve been taking care of you since we were kids, Cooper. You really need me to play that role again?”
“Nope. Not even a fucking little bit. I just wanted a moment to myself, which is apparently a concept too great for you and Quinn to grasp.”
Rolling my eyes, I refilled my glass and made my way to the sofa, sinking into the seat beside him. “So . . .” I paused, hoping he’d fill in the blank and make this a little easier on me.
“That’s your attempt at small talk? You suck at this, by the way.”
“Look, I’m sorry, okay? You practically pushed me toward Emma, and you were right. She’s perfect. And she means the world to me, Coop. I still don’t think I actually deserve her, but . . . fuck. She’s it for me.”
“I need a fucking drink,” he muttered, rising to his feet. Once he’d poured himself a glass of bourbon, he joined me on the couch again.
I waited while he took a long swallow.
“I get it,” he said finally, his voice raw.
Releasing a slow exhale, I tried to put myself in his shoes. “I do too. If you’d been the one to . . .” I couldn’t even let myself go there. If Cooper had ended up with Emma? It wasn’t a scenario I could even let myself imagine. I’d be destroyed.
“Thanks for acknowledging that. And for what it’s worth, I am sorry about the way she found out about Ashley.”
I took another sip of my drink, waiting for him to continue.
“Honestly, I thought you’d told her. Figured you guys had covered exes and all that. But when I mentioned Ashley’s name, Emma’s blank stare immediately told me I was wrong. I tried to backpedal, but you know Emma. She loves a good mystery.”
I’d been meaning to tell Emma, knew I had to at some point. I’d just thought I had more time. It wasn’t all his fault.
“You’re my brother, and I love you, Coop. I forgive you for telling Emma about Ashley.”
He nodded. “And I forgive you for getting the girl. In the back of my mind, I kind of always knew it would go that way.”
I gave him a sad smile. The older brother in me still needed to look out for him. “So, we’re all good?”
“Yeah. Let’s get drunk.”
He crossed the room to grab the ice bucket and bourbon while I reached for the room service menu.
“What’s good here?” I asked, figuring he’d probably been eating most of his meals in.
“The bison burger and the omelet are the only things I’ve had.”
I nodded as I dialed, and ordered us a couple of burgers and another bottle of bourbon.
When our food arrived a short time later, we dug in, falling into easy conversation, just like old times. Cooper clicked on the TV, and we watched the sports highlights over dinner.
“There’s more I need to tell you,” I said, stacking our dinner dishes on the cart the attendant had left.
“So, tell me. We’ve already ripped off the bandage, don’t you think?”
He was right. We were each two glasses of bourbon in, and I was feeling loose.
Letting out a heavy sigh, I decided to tell him the bad news first. “There’s a lawsuit against me. Ashley’s parents are suing for wrongful death. Ten million dollars. I’m the only defendant, so it shouldn’t affect the company.” At least, I’d do everything within my control to make sure it didn’t.
Cooper rose to his feet. “That’s bullshit. Does Quinn know?”
“Not yet.”
“We need to tell him. He’d agree with me that we need to use every tool in our arsenal to fight this. You’re not facing his alone. The best lawyer, whatever we have to do. A counter lawsuit if we have to—her parents knew about her pill problem and did nothing. You, on the other hand, tried to help her.”
His response was unexpected and warmed my chest. I’d figured I’d go this alone from beginning to end. Figured I might even have to step down from my position at Forbidden Desires, because the last thing we needed was more bad press.
“You’re the first person I’ve told, but yes, I’ll tell him,” I added. “Thank you. This was more support than I expected.”
Cooper offered me a sad smile as he lowered himself to his seat again. “I’m just sorry you have to relive it. That is seriously fucked up.”
It wasn’t something I wanted to do; that was for sure. But part of being an adult was dealing with all the shit you’d rather pretend didn’t exist.
And from Ashley’s parents’ standpoint? They had lost their daughter. Nothing would bring her back, but they weren’t going to just let her go and move on without a fight.
“There’s something else.” I added more bourbon to my glass, even though it wasn’t quite empty. Something told me I was going to need it. “I’ve decided to propose to Emma.”
Cooper swallowed hard, his eyes closing for a moment. “Congratulations.”
A heavy silence that hadn’t been there before settled between us. I held my tongue, knowing he needed a minute to process this latest news.
When he reopened his eyes, he said, “Tell her about the lawsuit first.”
How did we get here? My little brother was now giving me relationship advice. I didn’t respond.
“If you haven’t bought a ring yet, I have some advice. Even though you didn’t ask.” He grinned. “Don’t get her some big, gaudy diamond. She wouldn’t want that.”
I nodded, only slightly annoyed that he knew her so well. “She’s a simple girl, I agree.”
Damn. Look at us—sharing our feelings and shit. Quinn would be so proud.
“I need to take a piss,” he said, rising to his feet.
Our conversation was over. But we’d both survived, so there was that.
When Cooper returned, he was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a black button-down shirt. His hair was styled and his eyes were alight with mischief.
“I need to go out and get laid. Be my wingman?” he said.
It wasn’t a good idea. We were both drunk, and it was almost midnight. But I knew first-hand the raw hunger he was probably experiencing. He needed something to control, needed to possess and own someone in all the ways he’d never command Emma. My heart broke a little for him just then.
“Always.” I rose to my feet, following him toward the door.
As we waited for the elevator, I couldn’t help but look him over. We’d shared a lot tonight, and I felt closer because of it. Still slightly uneasy, but closer nonetheless.
“Can I ask you one more thing?” I asked as the elevator doors opened.
“’Course,” he said over his shoulder as I followed him inside.
Cooper’s green eyes met mine. For a second, it was too intense, and I almost backed out on asking him. Almost.
“Do you still love her?”
“Always,” he said, mirroring my comment from before. He didn’t hesitate. Didn’t so much as blink.
A rock settled in the pit of my stomach as we descended, and suddenly all that bourbon seemed like a terrible idea.
It was a long and silent ride to the lobby. As the elevator doors opened, I was struck by the realization that if I ever fucked up again, Cooper would have her, and there’d be nothing I could do.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Emma
Reunited again at Gavin’s place, we wasted little time before falling into bed together.
“So, now that we’ve caught up a little, tell me . . . was it bad?” I asked after we’d lain in each other’s arms for an hour, recovering from our second round of lovemaking.
“The sex? Never.” Gavin grinned down at me.
I frowned, then shook my head. “Your trip. You haven’t said a word about it.”
“Oh.” Gavin took a deep breath. “I don’t want you worrying about that.”
“We said no secrets,” I reminded him.
His soulful eyes stared into mine, and he let out a gentle sigh. “We did. The trip wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t ideal. Cooper . . . I’d rather not tell you how he’s doing. I know he needs the time away, though.”
So, it’s as bad as I feared.
“That must be hard on you,” I said softly, rubbing Gavin’s bicep, and he flexed beneath my touch.
“A little. It’s hard to know I was the cause of all this, you know? I never meant for this to happen.”
“We were the cause,” I reminded him gently, refusing to let myself off the hook. “And I didn’t mean for it to happen either.” I pursed my lips. “It’s one of those things that will take time, I think.”
“I know you’re right.” He kissed my forehead. “As usual.”
I offered him a soft smile, and another silence passed between us before he sat up in bed.
“All right, what do you want to do today?”
“This?” I asked, turning over and letting the sheets fall away from me so he could see my naked body. He surveyed me with hooded eyes, studying my breasts, the space between my thighs, but then he shook his head.
“You make a tempting argument. But are you sure there’s nothing you want to do? I don’t want to keep you chained to the bed all day.”
“Yes, because I’d hate that.”
He smirked at me. “Come here, woman. While you think about what you’d like to do today, there’s something I want to tell you.”
I wondered if it was something about his visit with Cooper, but Gavin stayed quiet for a few more seconds, leaving me in suspense.
“What is it, baby?” I asked him, bringing my palm to his stubbled cheek.
He was quiet for a second, his eyes locked on mine. “I’m . . . crazy fucking in love with you,” he finally murmured.
“Gavin.” I sighed, totally taken by surprise.
I’d waited so long to hear those words from him, and this declaration—so bold and sure—I could almost have laughed if I weren’t so caught up in the moment. Gavin didn’t do anything halfway. He was always brave and confident, and how he expressed his love was no different.
“I love you too, a million billion,” I whispered, pressing my lips to his.
“Right back at you, baby.” He kissed my lips softly as we lingered together in a state of bliss.
After we’d cuddled and kissed and exchanged a few more I-love-yous, which felt so natural and right, Gavin was back to grinning down at me.
“Have you thought of anything you’d like to do today?” he asked again.
“I wouldn’t mind going shopping at the fancy organic market you turned me on to. I’d love to make you my grandma’s homemade chicken potpie. It has this flaky puff-pastry crust that’s to die for.”
“Sounds great.”
I sat up in bed. “The only thing is, all my clean clothes are back at my place.”
“Then we’ll go there, and I’ll watch you try on dresses.” Gavin shrugged. “Easy.”
“Okay.” I grinned, then quickly slipped into a sweatshirt and worn jeans before following him down to the car.
We pulled onto my street with its rows of little brownstones, all uniform and perfect in a row—
All except mine, which had a giant hole where the door should have been.
The planters outside were cracked, as if someone had taken a mallet to them, and the splintered wood from the door was scattered on the steps like shrapnel after an explosion.
“Oh my God,” I whispered, the familiar feeling of cold, bitter violation coiling through me.
“Fuck.” Gavin snarled, his whole body tensing. “Stay in the car,” he warned me when we’d finally parked.
But I couldn’t. How could I just sit here and wait? I had to see for myself what this person—what Nathan—had done to my grandmother’s house.
I waited until Gavin got out of the car and disappeared into the brownstone to follow him, stepping numbly into the place that had once been my home.
And the second I saw it? It was even worse than I’d imagined.
The hardwood floors, original to the old building, were gouged and carved up. The moldings I’d so carefully painted were wrenched from the walls. All my work, my hours of devotion to make this place just like my grandmother’s house had been, was ruined.
My heart pounded as I pulled my cell phone from my pocket, dialing the numbers without thinking. When the police dispatcher answered, I gave her all the information calmly and quietly, then waited while she gave me instructions.
This was a crime scene now. Soon, I’d hear sirens roaring down the street, and would be asked to answer even more questions. But I couldn’t worry about that now.
All I could think was, what kind of person would do such a thing?
And what would they have done if they’d come here to find me home, maybe asleep in my bed?
I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered, thinking of the way Nathan had thrown me into dressers and desks. The way he’d knocked my head against walls. How badly he’d hurt me.
It wasn’t impossible to think he’d reached the tipping point. That he might have taken his mallet to my skull too.
A creaking on the stairs let me know that Gavin was approaching. I looked up at him, trying to keep my face impassive as his gaze met mine. If he was surprised to see me there, he didn’t show it. In fact, he showed nothing but raw fury.
I swayed on my feet as I tried to think clearly. “I think he’ll really kill me, Gavin. Nathan will stop at nothing.” I motioned around the room. “If this doesn’t prove it, I don’t know what would.”
He shook his head. “It wasn’t Nathan.”
“What?”
“It wasn’t Nathan,” he insisted, his jaw clenched. “Come with me upstairs.”
I followed him wordlessly, only stopping short for a moment when I noticed the ocean of feathers in my hall. As I opened the door to my bedroom, however, I realized exactly what had happened. Whoever had done this had taken a knife to my down comforter and pillows, scattering a million feathers over the whole room. I repressed a shiver at the sheer violence of it.
“Here.” Gavin pointed to the wide mirror over my dresser. In my favorite red lipstick, someone had written Die, Bitch in spiky, jagged cursive.
“Creative,” I said in a deadpan voice, still trying to process what had happened here.
“No. Not that.” He shook his head. “The writing. I recognize it.”
I blinked.
“This was Sonja,” he muttered, raking a hand over his face. “Sonja has been the one doing this. You said the car that hit you was red? Sonja drives a red car.”
And Sonja had been trying to seduce him for weeks,
only to be shot down.
A woman scorned . . .
The revelation was so shocking, I could barely keep up.
“So, what do we do?” I asked.
“We tell the police so they can arrest her.”
As he finished speaking, the sound of approaching sirens grew until they echoed around us.
When the police arrived, we told them everything. And just as easily as Gavin had said, Sonja was taken in for questioning.
Within an hour, she’d broken down and told the whole story of what she’d done. How she’d left the bloody mess on my doorstep. How she’d tried to kill me in the street that day. How she’d tried again last night, and lost her mind when I wasn’t there.
It was hard to hear it all, to know someone could harbor so much malice against me, but when she was taken into custody and we were free to go, I headed home with a renewed sense of freedom.
No more wondering or second-guessing. I was finally safe.
Still, as we sailed down the road, I couldn’t help but notice Gavin’s mood. Tension remained in his jaw and his shoulders, and as we made our way closer to his apartment, it only seemed to get worse.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he said, clearly lying.
“Pull over.”
Gavin did as I asked with a sigh.
When we were on the side of the road, a steady stream of cars whizzing past, I twisted in my seat to face Gavin.
“What’s going on?” I repeated. “I thought you’d be relieved that they caught Sonja. Everything is going to be okay now.”
“I’m struggling with the fact that, yet again, the trouble in your life was due to me,” he said, his face a mask of guilt. “Everything bad that’s happened to you is because you’re with me.”
“Not true,” I shot back angrily, gripping his arm tight. “Nathan was before I ever knew you, and this—”
“This could have ended so much worse, Emma. You’re the fucking sun, and I’m nothing but a dark cloud blotting out your light.”
“Gavin, you are the light,” I said, pleading with him now, hating the sadness in his eyes. “Please, it’s over now. It’s only blue skies ahead for us. I love you.”
