Calvin wasn’t the only one too tired to head home. There were a lot more sleeper bay doors closed than usual. From the speed at which Dex and Sloane disappeared, he’d wager a guess they were presently occupying one of those bays, though he doubted there was much sleeping going on. Those two were like a couple of horny teenagers. Calvin found an empty bay toward the end of the hall and walked in, leaving the door slightly ajar. He unfastened his thigh rig and placed it on the desk, followed by his phone and everything else in his pockets. Soon his boots, socks, and shirt were off. He draped his pants over the back of the chair, staying in his black undershirt and blue boxer briefs.
His toiletry bag had a toothbrush and toothpaste, but he just wanted to get that done and over with, so he used one of the newly packaged brushes on offer in one of the bay’s many service cubbyholes on the side wall. He brushed his teeth and rinsed at the small aluminum sink before wiping his mouth on the towel provided. The heating kept the room warm enough to sleep with a blanket and not be uncomfortable. Thank God for the sleeper bays. Home away from home.
Calvin sat on the edge of the bed, wondering what was taking Ethan so long. With a groan, he flopped onto his side and drew his legs up. Screw it. Pajamas were overrated anyway. His head hit the pillow, and next thing he knew he was being pulled back against a hard body. The room was shrouded in darkness, with only the soft glow from the hall coming in through the tiny slit under the closed door. With a soft sigh, Calvin turned in Ethan’s arms and snuggled up close. It wasn’t the first time Ethan had slept in one of the bays with him, or even in the same bed. Hell, they’d been doing it since they were kids. It was the first time Ethan had held him this close, their bare legs intertwined and Ethan’s warm breath against Calvin’s skin before he planted a kiss on Calvin’s brow. Ethan was in his boxers and T-shirt, his warm skin smelling of soap.
“Good night, Cal.”
It is now that you’re here. “Good night.” Calvin shimmied lower so he could rest his head against Ethan’s chest, the soft beating of his best friend’s heart lulling him. Ethan gave him a squeeze, and Calvin put his hand to Ethan’s chest before he drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long.
Sometime in the middle of the night, Calvin was startled awake by Ethan’s screams. Calvin bolted upright, ready for a fight. Remembering where he was, he swiftly switched on the desk lamp and turned to find Ethan in the midst of a terrible fit. Whatever he was dreaming, it was bad, and Calvin quickly got out of bed. He knew from experience not to touch Ethan when he was having a nightmare like this. The first time Ethan slept at his house and went into a fit, Calvin had tried to wake him, and Ethan almost broke Calvin’s arm. That had been before Ethan had grown into his strength. Trying to subdue him now could prove lethal.
“Ethan, wake up,” Calvin called out gently, but loud enough to try and rouse him. Sweat dripped down the side of Ethan’s face, his expression one of terror and pain. It broke Calvin’s heart. “Please wake up, Ethan.”
Ethan arched his back, a horrific cry tearing from his lips, followed by an anguished, “Sloane!”
As if hearing Ethan’s cry for him, Sloane threw the sleeper bay door open and rushed in. As Team Leader, his handprint would override the security locks on any of the sleeper bay doors, and Calvin couldn’t have been more relieved to see him. Dex flipped on the lights, his gaze moving to the bed.
“What’s going on?”
“He’s having a nightmare. A bad one.” Calvin hated feeling helpless, especially where his best friend was concerned, but he was fully aware of his limitations as a Human. In all the years he’d known Ethan, he’d helped his friend through some tough nightmares, but none had ever come close to this.
“Wake him up.” Dex moved to the bed, and Sloane threw his arms around him, hauling him back just as Ethan screamed. His fangs started to elongate, and Calvin backed up near Sloane.
“He’s going to shift!”
Ash thundered into the room with Cael on his heels. “What the fuck is going on?”
Dex put a hand out in front of Cael, stopping him from getting closer. “It’s Hobbs. He’s having some kind of fit, and it looks like he might shift.”
“Shit. We have to do something.” Ash rushed over to the cubbyholes and started rifling through the Therian medical kit. “We need to sedate him. Where’s the fucking injector?”
“What happened?” Cael asked worriedly.
Ethan’s screams filled the room as his nails grew in and his mass began to shift, his muscles pulling and his body changing. They didn’t have much time. If Ethan shifted while he was asleep, who the hell knew what he’d do?
Calvin couldn’t understand. “He’s had plenty of nightmares before, but he’s never shifted through any of them. Whatever he’s dreaming about, it’s scaring the shit out of him. All I know is that he screamed Sloane’s name before he started shifting.”
Ash spun on his heels. “He what?”
“He was having a fit. Then he screamed Sloane’s name.”
“The facility. He’s dreaming about the goddamn facility.”
Sloane ignored the warnings and climbed onto the bed with Ethan. He wrestled him down, pinning him to the bed. Ethan hissed and tried to claw at him, but Sloane kept his arms down, though with Ethan being stronger Sloane wouldn’t be able to hold him down for long. At least it seemed to have stopped Ethan from shifting into his Therian form.
“Ash, help me out here.”
Ash ran over and helped Sloane keep Ethan pinned, the two struggling against Ethan’s determination to free himself at any cost.
“Hobbs, listen to me. It’s Sloane. I’m fine. I’m okay. Wake up, buddy. You’re dreaming. We’re not there anymore. Open your eyes. Listen to my voice. It’s okay.”
“Sloane!” Ethan cried, his eyes flying open. He gasped for air, his body trembling beneath Sloane and Ash’s hold. Slowly, Ash backed off.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Sloane assured him gently. He ran a hand over Ethan’s head and smiled. “It’s okay. Just a bad dream. You’re okay.”
Ethan’s eyes watered, and he threw his arms around Sloane, hugging him tight. Calvin’s pulse steadied, and he gingerly sat at the edge of the bed. At the feel of him, Ethan released Sloane and turned onto his side. He curled up around Calvin, his arm going around Calvin’s stomach and pulling him in close against him with a shuddered sigh.
“It’s okay. No one’s upset with you,” Calvin promised.
Ethan squeezed his arms around Calvin’s middle, and Calvin ran his fingers through Ethan’s hair, comforting him. He knew what his friend was thinking. It always followed a nightmare, or any of the countless things that would make Ethan feel self-conscious. Except, with Ethan’s anxiety, his embarrassment was always triple what anyone else’s would be. Sloane climbed off the bed, his hand going to Calvin’s shoulder and his expression sympathetic.
“Don’t sweat it, big guy,” Dex said, his tone gentle. “That’s what we’re here for. If you need anything else just let us know.”
“Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.”
Calvin was lucky to have a family like Destructive Delta. It was difficult for people to understand Ethan’s anxieties, much less have the patience it required on a daily basis. For Ethan it was a way of life, a constant struggle not to get overwhelmed by his fears. No one on his team ever hesitated when it came to Ethan. Sloane gave Calvin’s shoulder a pat and leaned in, his voice quiet in Calvin’s ear.
“He needs to talk about what happened.”
Calvin nodded. He thanked everyone again and waited for them to leave, grateful when Dex turned off the lights, leaving only the soft glow of the desk lamp. When the door closed and the room was silent, Calvin lay down facing Ethan. It had been a month since Shultzon’s goons had taken Ethan, Ash, and Sloane. Ethan refused to talk about what had happened. It was starting to take its toll.
“Ethan, please talk to me. Tell me about the facility.”
Ethan was quiet. His eyes
were closed, his chest rising and falling steadily. He could have been asleep, but he wasn’t. Over the years Calvin had gotten to know every little hitch in his partner’s breath and what it meant. He could read Ethan Hobbs like an open book. From Ethan’s breathing alone, Calvin could tell if Ethan was asleep, upset, pissed off, or even having a wet dream. Right now Ethan was thinking. Like most of Ethan’s fears, his hesitation to tell Calvin meant this was about Ethan judging himself. That’s how Ethan’s anxieties ate away at him. His perception of how others saw him was skewed, and as much as Ethan was aware of it, he couldn’t stop it.
Calvin waited, giving Ethan time to put his thoughts into words, and then he waited for Ethan to take those words and find the voice to speak them. The latter was always the most difficult for his friend.
“When we were taken by Shultzon’s men…,” Ethan began softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I woke up in a cage.”
Calvin gritted his teeth. He remained quiet, not wanting to interrupt Ethan. What he wanted to do was punch something. That son of a bitch, Shultzon. Wherever TIN had him, Calvin hoped the asshole was rotting away inside his own cage.
“They were supposed to have taken Seb, but Fuller made a mistake. He didn’t know there was more than one Hobbs. Shultzon was angry. He said I was… useless, because my disabilities were psychological and not physical like Seb’s. He called me….” Ethan’s eyes grew glassy, his pupils dilated. “He said I was broken. And then Ash was in a cage next to me trying to get out, and Sloane was strapped down to this horrible chair. They were going to inject the drug into him. I couldn’t help him.”
Ethan shut his eyes tight, and Calvin pulled him close. With a sniff, Ethan wrapped his arms around Calvin and buried his face against Calvin’s T-shirt.
“I dreamed I was back there, and they killed Sloane because I couldn’t help him. Because I was too scared. Broken.”
“Fuck Shultzon. That asshole was out of his fucking mind, Ethan. He wanted to turn Therians into mindless super soldiers. He messed with your head, and he did the same to Sloane and Ash.”
“And yet Ash got out.”
Ethan pulled back enough to look into Calvin’s eyes, the anguish gripping at Calvin’s heart and squeezing.
“Ash got himself out of his cage, and Sloane got out of the chair. I couldn’t get out. Could barely move. I’m stronger, and I couldn’t do anything.” Ethan shook his head, his lips pressed together as he tried to keep his emotions in check. “I was trained for those situations. If Ash hadn’t talked me off the ledge….”
Calvin put his hand to Ethan’s cheek. “Shultzon messed with you. He fucked up your meds.”
“And what does that say about me, huh?” Ethan asked, agitated. “I’m so fucked-up I can’t function without them anymore. I can’t…. Without the meds I’m nothing. I can’t do my job. I can’t have fucking dinner with my family. Thanksgiving was a disaster. You got into a fight because of me. Again. My whole life I’ve had someone fighting my battles for me because I’ve been too weak to do it myself.”
“We talked about Thanksgiving. That wasn’t your fault.” Calvin’s heart broke, but he did what he always did. He remained strong for Ethan, doing his best to soothe Ethan’s fears. Calvin wiped the wetness from Ethan’s reddened cheeks. “As for the rest, I will always fight for you. Not because you can’t fight for yourself, but because you’re my best friend. If some asshole has the balls to mess with you, he has to get through me first. I know you’re bigger than me, and stronger, but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to lean on me, Ethan. That’s what people do when they care about someone. Your fight becomes mine.”
“I’m going to be on meds for the rest of my life. What if they stop working?”
“Then we’ll find something else to help you.”
Ethan sat up and shook his head. “I hate that I have no control of my own head. That I have to rely on stupid little pills. Everyone thinks I’m a fucking spaz.”
“Hey, no one thinks that.” Calvin sat up with a frown. “Are you telling me our friends, who woke up at four in the fucking morning after a twelve-hour shift and ran in here to make sure you were okay, that they think that?”
Ethan shook his head, and Calvin took hold of his hand.
“No, they don’t. Look at your brother. How many prescriptions does Seb have? He can’t function without those pills either, and he’s the reason you wanted to become a THIRDS agent. You remember what he told you when you said you wanted to become an agent like him but couldn’t because of your mutism?”
Ethan nodded.
“Tell me.”
“He said my disabilities didn’t define me. I define me.”
“That’s right.” Calvin placed Ethan’s hand to his lips for a kiss. “You define you, Ethan. Not your meds, not your mutism, not anyone else. You.”
Ethan went quiet. He dropped his gaze to his hand in Calvin’s before looking up at him, his expression softening. “I got out for you, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“In the cage, I couldn’t move. I was so scared. Ash told me to do it for you. He said you didn’t think I was broken.”
Ethan searched his gaze, and Calvin made sure Ethan found what he was looking for.
“And he was right,” Calvin replied with all the conviction he possessed. Twenty-four years they’d been inseparable, yet Ethan still needed to be reminded that Calvin was at his side because he wanted to be, needed to be, as much for himself as for Ethan. Calvin took Ethan’s face in his hands. “You’re not broken, Ethan. You’re amazing, and that will never change.” He stroked Ethan’s cheek with his thumb and smiled. “Thank you for getting yourself out of there. I couldn’t stop worrying about you.”
“It scares me sometimes,” Ethan said quietly.
“What’s that?”
“How much I need you.” Ethan pulled Calvin with him as he lay down. He snuggled up close and pressed his lips to Calvin’s.
Calvin closed his eyes and parted his lips, allowing Ethan to slip his tongue in and deepen the kiss. He didn’t question it or overthink it, just went with it. Whatever Ethan needed, Calvin would give.
Ethan’s lips were soft, his mouth warm and tasting faintly of mint. Calvin loved how Ethan tasted, how he smelled, how he felt underneath his touch. He loved the way Ethan’s strong hands caressed his skin.
This was uncharted territory for both of them, and despite knowing everything about each other, Calvin was eager to explore more of this side of Ethan. They’d seen each other naked more times than he could count. They argued and fought but always worked things out. When Ethan pulled back, Calvin missed his breath on him, the feel of his lips, but he smiled at his best friend and cuddled up to him. As long as they were together, they’d make it through anything. Them against the world.
Chapter Two
CALVIN TOOK a sip of his beer before letting out a happy sigh. After the last few months dealing with all the crazy of the Order, Coalition, Hogan, and Shultzon, he was relieved they’d gotten back to doing regular callouts. It was no less emotionally and physically exhausting, but it was a far cry from what they’d been up against recently. Though their first week back on callouts seemed determined to make up for lost time, he was glad things were back to normal. Well, as normal as was possible for their team.
Following another long rotation, Destructive Delta did what it had been doing since Dex joined the team, taking over Dekatria, their second base of operation. By now all the regulars knew who they were, welcoming them with open arms. There was no hostility toward them, and no one cared if they were Therian or Human. Whatever anti-Therian regulars had frequented the bar had jumped ship the moment Bradley bought the place. He made it known real quick he wouldn’t tolerate any of that crap. There were plenty of other bars in New York City for them to spread their stupid, but his place wouldn’t be one of them.
The jaguar Therian himself dropped by the table, a big grin on his handsome face. He gave Dex a playful sho
ve. “So what do you think of the new menu?”
Dex’s eyes lit up as he scanned the trendy, newly designed menu. “I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. Except I know I haven’t because Ash is here.”
Ash gracefully flipped Dex off before resuming his conversation with Cael about sharing some loaded cheese fries.
They all laughed as Dex put in his ginormous order. Calvin had no idea how the guy put all that food away and managed to stay in shape. It was like he had cheetah Therian metabolism or something. Calvin noticed the black line art on the right side of Bradley’s neck peeking out from under his T-shirt.
“Hey, is that new?” Calvin asked, pointing to the intricate swirls. It looked Japanese in style, possibly a koi fish.
Bradley touched his fingers to it. “Yeah. It’s been a while since I had a new one. Started getting that itch.” He laughed softly.
“Who designs your tattoos?” Dex asked curiously.
“Friend of mine. I love ink, but sadly I’m not much of an artist. Otherwise I’d probably have been doing that instead. Gonna have to find myself a new artist, though. My friend’s getting himself hitched and moving to California.”
Ethan pointed to Calvin, catching him off guard.
“You design?” Bradley looked as surprised as some of their teammates. It wasn’t really something Calvin talked about. His face grew warm as all eyes landed on him.
“Yeah. I’ve been drawing since I was a kid. In college I did a couple of designs for people. Word spread, and pretty soon I had enough commissions to pay for my books and supplies.”
“Shit, that’s right,” Dex said, his grin widening. “Apparently he’s awesome. Hobbs said he draws some kickass designs.”
Calvin glanced over at Ethan, who had guilty written all over his silly smiling face. Ethan nodded and held his thumbs up.
“You still design?” Bradley asked.
Calvin shrugged. “I never really stopped. I didn’t need to take any more commissions once I joined the THIRDS, and my schedule didn’t leave a lot of time for it, but yeah, for fun.”
“Maybe I can give you a call sometime. See your stuff.”
“Sure.” Calvin returned Bradley’s smile. It had been a long time since he’d drawn anything for anyone. Bradley went off with their orders, and Dex was about to say something when Calvin felt someone step up behind him.
“Agent Summers?”
Calvin turned in his chair, surprised to see Felipe Bautista standing there, a shy smile on his face. “Hey.” Calvin stood, smiling warmly. “I’m surprised to see you here.”
“Agent Summers—”
“Calvin. Please,” Calvin insisted. He held his hand out, and Felipe took it with a smile.
“Calvin. I’m sorry if I’m interrupting.” Felipe shyly greeted the rest of the table, some more warily than others.
“You’re not,” Calvin assured him. “How have you been?”
“Would you mind if we talked privately?”
“Not at all. I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me after what happened.”
“You were doing your job.” Felipe motioned over to the bar and a couple of empty stools at the end of it.
Calvin excused himself, telling Ethan he’d be back. He slid his half-empty beer to Ethan to finish off. His best friend looked puzzled by Calvin’s departure, but his attention was quickly commandeered by Dex. Leaving his teammates to their shenanigans—or rather, Dex’s—Calvin joined Felipe at the bar, where they ordered a couple of beers. Calvin patiently waited for Felipe to say whatever was on his mind.
“When I heard Drew was dead….” Felipe swallowed hard and closed his eyes for a moment before seeming to get his emotions in check. He shook his head and let out a soft laugh. When he opened his eyes, they were filled with heartache and pain. “What does it say about me that I miss him? That for the first few seconds when I wake up in the morning, I expect to see him there? I miss a murderer.”
“You miss the guy you fell in love with. The guy you thought he was. When Hogan approached Drew, he should have walked away, or at the very least asked for help. Instead he let Hogan twist him up inside and turn him into a killer. He risked his freedom, his life, you, to follow Hogan. He hadn’t been your Drew for a long time, Felipe.” Calvin put his hand on Felipe’s arm in the hopes of offering him some comfort. “What happened to Drew wasn’t your fault.”
“I keep telling myself that I should have pushed harder. I suspected he was lying to me about where he went, but I didn’t want to believe something was wrong. I was terrified he might be cheating on me.” Felipe wiped a tear from his eye. “It was so much worse.”
Calvin felt for the guy. He really did. “How have you been?”
“I’ve been seeing a therapist to help me work through all this. I feel guilty, thinking if I’d done more, he wouldn’t have involved himself with Hogan. That he’d still be alive, and things might have gone back to how they were. I left the city for a few weeks, to get away from the reporters, the threats, the hate mail, everything. The way people looked at me….” Tears welled in his eyes again. “Like I had killed those people.”
“Hey.” Calvin pulled him into his arms. It wasn’t Felipe’s fault his boyfriend had done what he had. Felipe was a good guy, a Therian teacher who cared about his students and worked with local homeless Therian youth. He didn’t deserve the shit he’d been thrown into. “Drew shut you out. If you’d suspected and gone after him, Hogan might have killed you.”
Felipe nodded and pulled back with a sniff. He thanked Calvin for the tissue he offered, a small smile coming on his face. “Seems like whenever we meet, I end up crying on your shoulder.”
Calvin smiled. He reached into his pocket and pulled out one of his THIRDS cards with his name and number on it. After flipping it over, he took one of the pens lying on the bar for signing credit card slips and scribbled his personal cell phone number. “Here.” He handed the card to Felipe. “Anytime you need my shoulder, you call.”
“Thank you. I’d like that.” Felipe tucked the card into his pocket before wiping his eyes. “On a lighter note, how’s your boyfriend?”
“Ah, that. He’s not really my boyfriend. Sort of.” Felipe arched an eyebrow
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