“I’ll buy some food at a café near the station. I have our train tickets already. Let’s walk. You set the pace.”
“I’m not an invalid, Trudi.”
She didn’t answer but held his gaze. He was the first to look away as he marched off, the beads of sweat around his forehead showing the effort this took. But, if that’s the way he wanted to play it, so be it.
She stopped at the café and bought some food. She charmed the assistant into wrapping it up for her, explaining she had to catch the train to Berlin. When they got on the train, she gave the food to Heinz, ignoring his lack of response. She took her paper out of her bag and opened it.
“Since when do you read that?”
“Since it stops questions. Now shut up and eat.” The look she gave him dared him to say something, but he got the message. Their journey passed without incident and they changed at Munich onto the Berlin train.
They had only traveled for an hour when trouble came in the form of a group of SA soldiers. Despite the relatively empty carriage, they pushed into the seats beside Trudi and Heinz. Trudi thought Heinz was asleep, but she didn’t dare to look at him. She continued staring at her paper.
“What’s a pretty Fraülein doing with a convict?”
Trudi raised her eyes to look at the man who’d spoken. He was of a similar age to her, blonde-haired and blue-eyed, a model for Hitler’s Aryan look. Shivers ran through her as she looked into his eyes, the palest shade of blue she’d ever seen. She sensed his cruelty. She put the paper down and smiled her sweetest smile.
“Doesn’t he look just dreadful. If the hospital had told me he would be so emaciated, I would have taken his suit to the tailors and had it altered. But there wasn’t time. Do you think it will take us long to reach Berlin?”
She saw the curiosity mingling with surprise in his eyes. He’d expected her to be nervous and perhaps scared.
“Hospital?”
“Why yes. What did you think was wrong with my husband?”
The SA guard looked from her to Heinz and back. “Husband?”
“We married just over six months ago. My beloved wanted to join the SS. I insisted we got married first as I didn’t want him to go away without first becoming a father. You know how our amazing Führer loves families. But he failed his medical. He has TB, probably from back when he was a child and his widowed mother had to live in such squalid accommodation.”
Trudi was almost enjoying herself now, as the SA men moved away from Heinz. She sensed he was awake but hoped he would keep his eyes shut, as well as his mouth.
“TB?”
Trudi forced some tears and scrambled in her bag for some tissues. As she wiped her nose, she bit her inside lip hard enough to draw blood.
“It’s just horrible and so unfair. You should have seen him in our wedding photos. He looked rather like you but not as good-looking,” she flirted, batting her eyelashes. The SA man, looking horrified now, drew back as if she would contaminate him.
“Now we’re married and I’m stuck with an invalid. I can’t divorce him. Isn’t much point as I probably have it too. I never knew it was so infectious, did you?” She coughed delicately into a tissue, seeing it turn slightly red. That sent the SA men fleeing from the compartment, with a mumbled Heil Hitler.
Trudi sank back into the chair, feeling weak and shaken. The other passengers had already fled, some having left as soon as the SA men sat down. Others left after hearing Trudi’s tale. She was thankful they were alone. She sensed Heinz watching her.
“You should take up acting. You had me believing you at one point.”
His scathing comment pushed her over the edge.
“Shut up Heinz, before I denounce you myself. You have no idea what I’ve had to do over the last few months to protect my family. Don’t you dare sit there in judgment of me. Grow up.”
She closed her eyes and feigned sleep until they reached Berlin. She couldn’t wait to feel her baby’s arms in hers. Liesl, the light of her life. She couldn’t bear to be separated from her child but how else could she protect her?
She’d tried to escape, planned different routes, but always her husband said no. Why had she listened to him? It was too dangerous now for her to leave with the children. She didn’t have enough money left for bribes. The only option was to get the children out first and then try to follow them.
8
November 1938 London
Sally Matthews and her friends, Maggie and Susan sat shocked into silence at the reports on the radio. The Nazis had attacked the Jewish population in Germany and in Austria.
“Oh, those poor people. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. And now the Nazis expect them to pay for the damage to the properties. How can the German people stand by and let this happen? We wouldn’t let that happen here, would we, Sally?”
Sally hoped not, but who knew what was really going on in Germany. She had heard people talk well of Hitler, in the early 1930s, as he seemed to be creating jobs for his people. Some had even suggested the British government could learn a thing or two from him. As Britain coped with severe depression and unemployment, Germany’s economy was going from strength to strength.
“My dad told me you could never trust a German,” her neighbor said, as she finished off a slice of cake. “Maggie, that was delicious.”
“Enid, you can’t judge people based on their nationality. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of Germans who don’t support Hitler,” Maggie replied.
Enid wasn’t listening. “You’re Irish Maggie. You don’t understand how much we English hate the Germans. Things had sounded too good to be true. Yes, Germany was booming but they had been doing things they weren’t supposed to do. Like building up their army, navy, and air-force. Hitler and his friends have to be stopped. There will be war soon, I’d bet money on it.”
Sally hated it when Enid spoke like that. She knew Maggie wasn’t ashamed of her Irish parents, but she’d been born in Britain and considered herself English. Maggie and Enid rarely agreed on anything but, in Sally’s mind, Enid should show Maggie some respect, what with Maggie being older and all.
Maggie’s rosy cheeks hinted her temper was up. “I lost my Reg in the last war, young lady. I wouldn’t be rushing into another one, let me tell you.”
Enid looked like she would burst. Sally jumped up, pretending to just notice the clock.
“Look at the time, the lads will be home soon for their supper and here we are sitting around when there is work to be done.”
“My Sam won’t go hungry. I have a hotpot all sorted. I just have to heat it up.” Enid gathered her things and left without a second glance. Sally glanced at Maggie.
“When will I learn not to invite that poisonous witch for afternoon tea?” Maggie huffed as she took the plates and cups and placed them in the sink.
“Can I help you with those, Maggie?” Sally asked, hating to see her friend upset.
“Relax Sally, love.” Maggie gave her a loving look. “Your Derek would eat a bare plate if you served it up to him. It must be love.”
Sally blushed at her friend’s teasing. It was true, Derek would eat whatever she placed in front of him. He was a lovely man, her husband. Even saying the words brought a smile to her face. Her husband. They were married. A few months ago, she hadn’t even known who Derek Matthews was but a chance meeting and here they were an old married couple.
“It must be love,” teased Susan.
“You can talk, Susan,” Sally quipped. “If Derek still looks at me the way your Ken looks at you when we’ve been married a few years, I will count myself lucky.”
“He’s a good man, my Ken, even if he does have two flat feet and a weak heart. Still, it’ll keep him out of the army if we do go to war. I don’t care what the government says, I don’t trust that Hitler, not as far as I could throw him.”
Sally sat back down. “Susan, you don’t think there will be war, do you?”
Susan’s cheeks reddened but she wouldn’t
meet Sally’s eye. “For the love of God don’t be listening to me. What would I know? I’m only a housewife. Your Derek would know best, him being in the army and all. You get along now, love, and get that husband of yours fed.”
Sally rushed home, but Derek must have called into the pub for a quick half. Like Enid, she’d made a hotpot earlier so only had to heat it up. It was ready to dish up when the back door opened.
“That’s a sight for sore eyes. My beautiful wife and a home-cooked meal. I really landed on my feet, didn’t I?”
She blushed scarlet when he pulled her to him and kissed her thoroughly.
“Derek, the neighbors. Someone might see.”
“So what? I’m allowed to kiss my wife, aren’t I?”
She didn’t resist, as he kissed her again. She loved him holding her, his arms around her making her feel safe.
“So, how’s your day been? Did you get to see your friends?”
“Susan and I called down to see Maggie. Enid called in too. We listened to their radio. I wish we had a radio. I’d love to listen to music and the different shows.”
“I’ll get you one the next time I’m up in London.”
“I wasn’t hinting, Derek.”
He washed his hands and sat at the table, waiting for her to join him before he picked up his knife and fork. He had such lovely manners.
“I know, love, but it will be company for you. For when I’m away.”
Her appetite fled. She knew he would be away from time to time. He was an officer in the regular army but did he mean he had to go soon?
“Are you leaving?”
“Today? No.” He smiled but the smile fell, as he spotted the tears in her eyes. “Sally, what is it? Who upset you?”
“There was something on the news about what happened in Germany. Susan said she was glad her Ken wouldn’t be called up to fight. She thinks there will be a war.”
Sally waited for him to deny it, but he kept his eyes on his plate as if the peas would take flight if he didn’t mind them.
“Derek?” her anxiety grew with the silence.
“Can we talk about something else? How about us going up to London for a night or two? Have another honeymoon? We could see a film or go to a show. What do you think?”
“We only just got back. Do we have the money for it?” Sally was always worried about money. She couldn’t help it, having grown up the way she did.
“I have the money. I promised to look after you, didn’t I? Now wipe away those tears and get your husband some pudding. I swear I could eat a horse.”
Sally dished up his favorite, sticky-toffee pudding. Maggie had taught her how to make it. It wasn’t as good as Maggie’s but Derek didn’t complain. He said he liked it a bit crunchy on top.
Afterward, he helped her clear the table and wash up. Most men didn’t do housework, but Derek said he wanted to enjoy chatting to his wife, not watching her skivvy on his behalf. She caught herself wondering how she’d gotten so lucky, marrying this amazing man.
They sat entwined on the sofa chatting about their plans for the future.
“You’ll need a gardener, Sally. To keep the front lawn looking as good as it does. We all put so much work into getting it sorted.”
Sally grinned, remembering the early days of their courtship when she and Derek had worked side by side in the garden. He’d employed a few of the local men to pull up the weeds and clear out the rubbish. Sally had helped clean out Rose Cottage; it had been full of dust, spiders, and goodness knows what else.
“What are you grinning about?” he asked her, kissing her smile.
“I was remembering how hard we worked to sort out the cottage. Do you remember all the spiders?”
“I remember Enid screaming her head off. I never knew such a small woman could make such a racket. No wonder her husband Sam was the first to join up.”
The war again. Sally pushed that thought aside.
“Enid wasn’t very nice to Maggie earlier. Told her she knew nothing about the Germans.”
“Maggie knows nothing? I thought she lost her husband in the first war.”
“She did. Maggie’s lived here all her life, but Enid insists on calling her Irish.”
“She does have an Irish accent, especially when she calls everyone love.” Derek kissed Sally again. “I don’t think Maggie needs any help in keeping Enid in her place. I’d back Maggie any day of the week.”
“You love Maggie’s cooking, so you’re biased,” Sally teased.
“Anyone can cook better than Enid Brown. Do you remember that day you organized a picnic for all the workers? Even after a hard day pulling up rose bushes and whatnot, nobody was hungry enough to eat her hotpot. I can certainly understand Sam being so thin.”
“Derek! That’s unkind. Enid worked hard getting our home fixed up.”
“She did, that’s true. We should build on an extension out the back, shouldn’t we?”
“Don’t you think it’s big enough as it is?”
“We only have four bedrooms and one of those is tiny. You should use it as a dressing-room, as Mother suggested.”
Sally didn’t want to think about his mother. The woman intimidated her. Thankfully she didn’t visit Abbeydale very often, preferring London.
Derek nibbled the side of her ear making it difficult to focus on what he was saying.
“We need more room for a family. I fancy having a boy and a girl, but only if she looks like you.”
She hit him with the cushion. “You can’t say that. You’re supposed to say you don’t care what sex they are, so long as they are healthy.”
“Who said? I don’t see any rule book.”
She took his hand and massaged it between hers. “I’d like four or five children. I hated being an only child.”
“Why don’t you just go all out and have yourself your own football team?” he teased, distracting her by kissing her neck and behind her ear.
“I love children, don’t you?”
“Yes, but I don’t want to bring up my family without being able to provide for them. Dad’s money is going to Roland, so we have to survive on my Army pay. None of my family is ever going to go hungry or appear at school with their backside hanging out of their britches.”
“Derek!” but her protests at his language died, as he tickled her. He carried her upstairs to their bedroom. She couldn’t get over how happy she was. A chill ran through her.
“What? Something startled you. Was it a spider?”
“Yes, it crawled over there.”
She let him laugh and tease her. She wasn’t going to admit she was scared they were too happy and it wouldn’t last. Derek didn’t like it when she got all doom and gloomy, as he called it.
9
Berlin August 1939
Heinz stood opposite his stepmother, holding his hands by his side, his palms clenched into fists, trying to keep his temper under control.
“I’m not going on some kid’s train. I’m the man of this house now.”
“You’re a child, Heinz Beck, at least in the eyes of the Nazis and we should thank God for that.”
Heinz swallowed, trying not to raise his voice. He’d wake Tomas and Liesl. Tomas found it hard to fall asleep, terrified of his nightmares. He clung to Heinz during the day and whimpered like a beat-up puppy if Heinz went out of the apartment. Heinz found it claustrophobic, despite Trudi and Rachel telling him his younger brother was reacting not just to the loss of his father but to the loss of his childhood. It wasn’t safe for Jewish children to be on the streets anymore.
“I’m not running away, Trudi. I’m joining Gavriel’s group. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him to rot in Dachau.”
“Gavriel will be fine. I have friends working on getting him and Izsak out. You have to go to Britain, Heinz. Tomas won’t go unless you do. He can’t protect himself, he’s too small.”
Heinz turned his back on her. She was right. Tomas was scared of his own shadow.
“Tomas like
s Ruth and Rachel Bernstein. Ruth mothers him, despite only being six-months older. He can go with them.”
“No, I won’t go. I’m not going anywhere without you. You’re my brother,” Tomas yelled, surprising both of them.
“Tomas, go back to bed. You’ll do as you’re told,” Heinz admonished him.
“You’re not Papa and you’re not my mother. I don’t have to do anything you tell me. I won’t go. You can’t make me. I’ll just run away. So there!” Tomas stamped his foot on the ground, waving Brown-Bear in the air as if the toy was a weapon.
Heinz took a step toward him, his arm raised. Not that he would hit his brother but he hoped Tomas would take the hint. The child didn’t move. He kept eye contact too, his determination to prove he meant what he said was obvious.
“You will both go. I’m not your mother but I am your guardian and responsible for the pair of you. I won’t stand by and let the Nazis get you. You will get on that train on Saturday and you will take Liesl with you.”
“You aren’t offloading your brat on me.”
His cheek stung from the slap she gave him.
“Don’t you call your sister ugly names. Isn’t it bad enough that everywhere we go, others do just that? I’m glad your Papa is dead. He’d die of shame if he heard you now.”
Trudi turned and ran in the direction of Liesl’s room, her sobs audible to both children, left staring after her.
“She loves that baby. Why is she giving her away, too?” Tomas asked.
Heinz couldn’t answer, as the truth would terrify Tomas even more. He stared out the window into the street below. All around him were memories. Some happy ones but those had been crowded out by bad ones. He still saw Mr. Geller standing up to the uniformed thug, his Papa racing to help at the Synagogue, Rachel and her mother coming to the door. Since his return from Dachau, he’d seen things had gotten even worse than before. People they once knew avoided them on the streets. Papa’s patients, some of whom owed their lives to his father’s skill, just walked past him now, as if he didn’t exist.
The Road to Liberation: Trials and Triumphs of WWII Page 92
