“I don’t know why. I lost my dog tags on the beach. Sam was hit in the stomach. I bent down to help him, not that I could do anything. He was a goner. The next thing I knew, I was lying in a German hospital. When they found me, I was unconscious and when I came around, I didn’t remember anything. Was that way for a couple of years until I met someone I used to go to school with. He recognized me and over time, my memory came back in bits and pieces. Still don’t remember everything but I remembered you, even when I didn’t know your name. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw my brown-eyed girl smiling at me. You, Sally. You are the reason I lived.”
Tears choked her throat as she cuddled him, and he cried and cried. She lost track of time, as their tea went stone-cold but neither of them moved. Only when his sobs subsided and he wiped his nose with his sleeve much like Tom did, did she remember the children.
“Oh my, is that the time. I have to go to Enid’s. She will be wondering where I am.”
“Let her wonder. She will probably be telling all the neighbors what a savage I am. And she’d be right. Look at what I did to your beautiful face.”
She held her hand up to the tender area. “It was an accident. You didn’t mean to hit me.” No, you meant to hit a defenseless child, but those words were left unsaid.
31
“Let me help you.” He took the sweeping brush and swept up the broken glass, not commenting when she retrieved the picture of Harry. Liesl loved looking at her brother dressed up in his uniform but Sally preferred the second photo, the one of the four of them together. Her, Liesl, Harry and Tom. They looked like a family. A real one. Only her real family was stood in front of her and he didn’t want the children. Maybe he’d change his mind.
“Sally, how long do they have to stay here? The war is over.”
“The war with Germany is over but the search for their mother or other surviving family members has only just begun. Nobody knows who survived the horrors that were the camps.”
“But you can’t mean to keep them until they find their family. That could take months, years even.”
Sally counted slowly in her head. Once she reached ten, she said quietly. “I want them to stay here forever. I never want to let them go.”
There she had said it. Finally admitted it out loud. She loved the kids and couldn’t imagine not having them with her.
“But… what if their real parents show up?”
“Tom’s father died after Kristallnacht. He was beaten up, for sport, by the guards at some place called Dachau. His mother died soon after he was born.”
“But he said Liesl was his sister.”
“His half-sister. His father married a much younger woman. She’d be about twenty-eight now. If she survived.”
“But if she did, she would claim the children. You wouldn’t stand in the way of reuniting the family, would you?”
Sally didn’t want to answer yet. She wanted to scream, YES! She would! She’d do anything to keep the children. But, in her heart of hearts, she knew that was wrong.
“What about when we have our own children?”
His question surprised her. She had given up on having her own baby. With her husband presumed dead and having the children, that dream had been filed away a long time ago. Feeling embarrassed now, she turned her face away from him. “If that should happen, the children would see the baby as their sister or brother. I don’t have a limited supply of love.”
“My child wouldn’t be related to Germans. Over my dead body.”
She whirled around to face him; her hands clasped together.
“Derek, can’t you see they are not Germans. They are Jewish. If the Nazis had their way, they wouldn’t exist. Those poor children have been through enough in their short lives. I can’t abandon them now. You have no idea how hard things have been for them. Tom was distraught when he arrived, as the Nazis not only killed his father but they stole his teddy, just for pure evil. He then had to watch as his brother was arrested as an enemy alien and threatened with deportation. As it was, Harry spent time in a camp with others just like him. But the camp also held committed Nazis. Can you imagine the torment he endured?”
“I have some idea.” Derek’s sarcasm stung but she refused to rise to his taunting.
“Please Derek, get to know the children. In time you will love them as much as I do. Liesl is such a gentle, sweet-natured child, always looking to please. She brightens up every room. Tom is a lovable rascal. He gets into trouble at school for saying exactly what’s on his mind, but he has a heart of gold. He’s an intelligent chap; you should see how well he can repair things. And Harry… well, he is different. You can’t love him like a child, as he’s an adult now. He won’t be back for a long time. He’s on a mission to hunt down the man who murdered his father. Until he finds him, he says he won’t be back. But he writes regularly.
Sally stopped babbling; conscious her husband had remained silent. When she glanced at him, she saw he was staring out the window, deep in thought but she’d no way of knowing what it was he was thinking about. Then he turned. His words surprised her.
“I need a bath and a kip. Is there hot water?”
“I can heat some up. The range has been on since early, so it won’t take long. Tom found some wood for me, so I was able to make the coal last a bit longer.”
She busied herself preparing his bath but didn’t offer to scrub his back. Instead, she made herself scarce. She didn’t want to see her husband or give him any ideas of resuming marital relations. He was a stranger. She needed time to adjust.
“I’ll leave you to it then. See you in a while.” She was gone before he could react
32
She turned right, instead of left, as she left her house. Enid could manage the children for a bit longer, she needed time to herself. To get used to the shock of Derek coming back. All her prayers for him to return had been answered. She should have been over the moon, skipping down the street instead of feeling like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. She didn’t even see Maggie until she almost walked into her.
“Sally you were away with the fa… Oh goodness, whatever happened to your face.”
“I fell,” Sally lied, automatically protecting Derek. Whatever issues they had between them he was still her husband.
“You’re as white as a sheet and shaking like a leaf. Come inside and have a cup of tea. I have some broken biscuits. A rare treat these days. Callaghan’s shop got some in and Mrs. Callaghan kept some back for the children. Kind old dear she is.” Maggie prattled on, as she guided Sally up the path and into the rectory. Sally didn’t resist. Her insides were frozen but not from the cold. She was reluctant to face Enid, never mind the children. Maggie wouldn’t press her for details but would wait for Sally to tell her when she was ready.
They sat over a cup of tea and a plate of uneaten biscuits. Maggie filled in the silence with tales from the village. So, and so was expected home soon and somebody else had a letter to say their son was injured, not seriously and would shortly be moved to Botley’s Park. On and on Maggie chatted, while Sally stirred her tea. Finally, Maggie leaned forward and took the spoon away.
“Drink the tea, can’t afford to waste good leaves.”
Sally lifted the cup to her mouth and drank. Only then did she meet Maggie’s gaze to see the concern her friend held.
“Is it the children? Have they found their family?” Maggie whispered, as if by saying the words out loud, she would make them come true. Maggie knew how much Sally loved the kids.
Sally shook her head.
“Harry? Has he been injured? Worse?” Maggie prompted.
Again, Sally shook her head.
“Look love, I know something dreadful is wrong but if you don’t want to talk about it, I won’t push you. I’m here for you, though and you know you can trust me. I won’t breathe a word to anyone.”
Sally knew that but still, she found it difficult to put into words the events of the morning.
&nb
sp; She whispered, “Derek, he’s home.”
Maggie’s eyes widened as she processed the news.
“That’s a surprise.”
At the understatement, both women exchanged glances and burst out in a nervous laugh.
“Maggie, it’s everything I ever wanted. I prayed so hard for a miracle. You knew I didn’t believe Derek was gone, that I felt I would have known he was dead. But now…”
“Where was he? How come they didn’t tell you he was alive?”
“I don’t know why. He doesn’t either. He lost his dog-tags on the beach at Dunkirk. Lost his memory too, due to a head injury. It took a long time to come back, by which time he was a prisoner of war somewhere. I haven’t asked him. I left him having a bath.” Sally couldn’t bring herself to say more.
Maggie took her hands and pulled her into a hug. Then she gently rubbed her back.
“Sally, I don’t know what happened but remember it’s early days. You and Derek, you’ve lived completely different lives and it’s bound to take a while for things to settle down.
33
Sally felt a bit better, as she walked back up the path into her cottage. She loved her home just as much now as she had done when they moved in after their wedding. Back then, it was the middle of summer and the windows of the cottage had been surrounded by blooming roses making it look like something off a picture postcard.
She turned to close the wooden gate behind her, the original metal gate having long gone to the war effort. She didn’t know why she bothered, as the children would open it again, but it was a habit. She forced the feelings of despair down as she took one step after another until she reached the front door. She opened it quietly. Maybe he was asleep. Even as she thought that, she left guilty wanting to avoid her husband.
But she heard voices. It sounded like Derek and Tom. She moved quietly not proud of wanting to eavesdrop but her curiosity won out. She stood at the door to the living room, they didn’t see or hear her. Tom was sat on the sofa, his foot dangling over the side while Derek sat upright in the wingback chair her Maggie had given them for a wedding present.
“Did you have Jews in your camp?”
“Not the way you mean, no,” Derek replied.
“What does that mean?”
“Some of our lads were Jewish, not that we told the Hun that. We learned that lesson early on in the war.”
“What lesson?”
“The Nazis didn’t have time for Jews. The usual rules didn’t apply to those poor sods. Taken out and shot, if they were lucky.”
Sally put her hand to her mouth. What was Derek doing? Tom was only eleven. He didn’t need to hear these details. Yet, Tom seemed engrossed and she hesitated to interrupt.
“Did you meet many Nazis? I mean real ones, not just guards wearing a German uniform.”
“You mean there is a difference?” Derek countered. But Sally heard the hint of respect and curiosity in her husband’s voice. He also sat straighter.
“Of course there’s a difference.”
Sally winced at Tom’s tone; now was not the time for his know-it-all attitude but Derek didn’t seem bothered.
“Explain.”
“The ones wearing the uniform are doing their duty. That’s their job. They have to defend Germany and you being British, are prisoners of war, right? So, they have to keep you prisoner.”
“I guess…”
“But that doesn’t make them Nazis. They could have been conscripted for all you know. They did that. The Nazis ran out of soldiers, so they took grandfathers and cripples and even boys like me and put them in uniform. I don’t think they put boys in as camp guards though.”
A sound suspiciously like a laugh came from Derek but it was quickly smothered.
“My teacher explained it to me. I was in trouble for speaking out of turn. Again. And the headteacher told me I should be grateful for being allowed to stay in England, where it was safe. I told him he should have the kids who called me names in his office, not me.”
“What did they call you?”
“A Nazi and a Hitler-lover. Shows they were stupid that did. How could I be a Hitler-lover? But the teacher took their side as usual.”
“So, this headteacher what did he say?”
“He explained to me what was happening in Germany. How boys like me were fighting against Russian tanks, sometimes without even a gun or anything. He said to remember that when someone called me names. Names couldn’t hurt me but tanks – they are a whole other story.”
Derek nodded at that but his next words surprised Sally. “He’s wrong you know. Not about the tanks bit. And it’s true, that many of the guards were conscripts or those you wouldn’t usually expect in an army. Some were old and others were crippled in the first war.”
“So, what was he wrong about? Aunt Sally says I should listen to the headteacher, but if he’s wrong then I should tell him, shouldn’t I?”
Derek smiled at Tom, making Sally’s heart flutter.
“Let’s not get ahead of yourself, young man. No adult likes a pup like you to correct him. As I said, your headteacher was right about a lot of things. It was telling you that calling you names can’t hurt was where he was wrong. Never underestimate the power of what you say. People remember the words well after the injuries they suffered have long recovered.”
“I guess.” Tom didn’t sound convinced. He stayed silent for a couple of seconds before he started again. “So, what was it really like in the camps? Papa and my brother, Heinz, were in one once. Heinz wasn’t in for long. Our stepmother got him out. But Papa… he didn’t come home.”
Sally restrained the urge to go cuddle the child. She willed Derek to be careful in his reply, to hear the unasked question. What did they do to his father that he couldn’t come home?
“I’m sorry to hear that son. Your papa didn’t deserve that. Nobody did. A lot of people got sick in our camp too and they died. The food was awful and there wasn’t enough of it. We were always hungry...”
“Worse than Mrs. Brown’s?”
“Mrs. Brown? Oh, you mean Enid. Yes, much worse. You would feed the pigs better than the stuff we got to eat.”
“Heinz said he and Papa didn’t get good food so that’s probably what happened. Papa would have given his food to Heinz to keep him alive. He was like that. Always looking after other people.”
“So, your Papa, what was he like?”
Tom took a deep breath. “He was nice, at least to me. He had a lot of friends, as he was a doctor before Hitler came to power. Mother, my real mother and him lived in a big house. Aunty Chana told me all about it. She said it was bigger than a palace but I don’t remember it. We had to leave and live in a smaller apartment when I was born. Aunty Chana told me Mother didn’t like it there and that’s why she died.”
“And your father remarried.”
“Yes, to my Nanny. She was mine before he married her. Then I had to share her. I didn’t like that but then Liesl came along. That’s my name for Liesl, my sister. You know the girl who screamed when you came home. She does that a lot. Gets scared really easy but that’s girls for you, isn’t it?”
“Not sure about that son. From what I’ve seen women can be very brave too. Is that right, Sally?”
Sally jumped. How had she given herself away?
“Aunt Sally you came home. I was keeping Uncle Derek company. It was all women at Mrs. Brown’s house.” Tom rolled his eyes as he stood up. “Can I go find my mates now? I have some marbles to exchange. Would you like to come Uncle Derek? Sam Walker has a pure black marble and I’m going to win it today.”
“No, thank you, son, but good luck with your game. I have some talking to do.”
“Can you come with me later? I want my mates to meet you. You are a real live hero and everything.”
“Don’t call me that. I’m no hero. I sat on my backside for the whole war while my mates and countrymen fought for freedom.”
“That’s not what Aunt Sally says. She says
you were the first to volunteer to fight and you were a real hero. Said you got a medal and everything. Will you be here when I get back?”
Derek glanced at Sally as if asking permission.
“Derek is tired, young man, so he might be asleep. Make sure you come home quietly, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am. See you later Uncle Derek. Thanks for talking to me. You know, like a man, not a boy. Can I have a sandwich to take with me, Aunt Sally? I’m starving.”
“Didn’t you eat at Enid’s?”
“Yes, but not your pie. She gave us something horrible. It was made out of vegetables but they were so mushed I don’t know what it was. It was disgusting.”
Derek’s laugh prevented her from admonishing Tom for his rudeness. “Take an apple and go on with you. Be home for tea by six.”
“Will do.”
And he was gone.
“He’s a bright boy that one. Need to watch what you say around him, that’s for sure.”
“Thank you for being kind to him Derek. He is desperate for a man’s attention. You know boys need a grown-up male to look up to. Harry’s been away so long and even if he was here, he would never have answered the questions about the camp.”
“Can’t blame him. Just glad Tom accepted my answer.”
34
Sally couldn’t stop smiling. It was going to be all right now. Derek and Tom had gotten along and everyone loved Liesl. Liesl! It was definitely time to let go of Liesl and embrace Liesl. Sally had noticed even Tom now referred to his sister as Liesl. Oh my goodness, Sally thought, Liesl’s still at Enid’s.
“I best collect Liesl. I don’t think she likes being at Enid’s much, either.”
“Sally, wait a minute. I know it’s a shock to you, me coming home like this. I should have sent you a telegram but I was selfish. I thought you would run into my arms and…” Derek shrugged his shoulders as he lit a cigarette. “I’m not the same man you once knew, Sally. I’ve changed.”
The Road to Liberation: Trials and Triumphs of WWII Page 103
