Addi got a job in advertising about six weeks ago and her schedule has been crazy. She’s loving it; it’s what she trained for; but our time together of late has been limited to fucking and sleeping. The sex is still out of this world fucking-fantastic, but I’m missing her crazy sense of humor and the sweeter moments we share. This weekend is going to be a welcome opportunity to spend time with her without the daily distractions of work, and it will be great to hang out with Xander and Lily. They got engaged about two months ago which was awesome – he went all out on the proposal and we organized a big party for later that night. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous of those two and how open they are about how they feel for each other. The wedding is planned for Italy in two months’ time and I can’t wait. I have family over there and my folks will be flying in for it, along with Vittoria. I’m going to take Addi on a short trip after the wedding and show her some of the sights I grew up with during my summer vacations.
Xander arrives at my place in the SUV with Addi and Lily already giggling in the backseat.
“It’s been too long since we did this, Carter. Let’s not wait so long next time.”
“Too fucking right, man. Although… it was surprisingly different the last time we were up there. No ladies allowed overnight; remember that rule? And look at us now – a couple of pussy-whipped losers.” Xander throws his head back and laughs at my choice of words.
“We were losers back then, Carter, let’s call a spade a fucking spade. I would take being pussy-whipped by the gorgeous woman in the backseat any day.” He’s right!
“You’re a wise man, Xander. I don’t think I would be here now if you hadn’t talked me around and made me realize what a dick I was after my ridiculous man-whore streak. I really fucked things up, and you were the one that saw the light at the end of the tunnel when I couldn’t. Thanks, bro.”
“Now you really do sound like a pussy. Get in the fucking car before I make you wear a dress, you sappy son of a bitch.” He gives me a friendly shove toward the passenger side with a shit-eating grin on his face. What the hell is Addi doing to me? I’m feeling all this… this shit, and now I’m spouting it to my best friend? I really fucking need to get my girl under me and get inside her; to feel only our passion, desire, and pleasure.
The drive is fun. Lilliput and Addi are a force to be reckoned with for sure. I think we’re going to have our hands full with these two this weekend. Xander and I shoot the shit and talk a little business until the girls butt in. “If we hear one more word about work this weekend there will be no pussy for you boys. You got it? NO WORK.” Lily looks slightly embarrassed by Addi’s statement, but it’s funny as fuck and we do as we’re told, sticking to talking sports the rest of the way, because I know she’ll hold out on me if I cross her, just to make a point!
It’s a breath of fresh air… literally, when we step out of the car and take in the view of sand and sea. The girls are off like a shot, leaving their shoes behind, running down onto the beach together, and I’m sporting a fucking raging boner at the sight of them splashing each other in the water. Xander and I get the bags into the house and I check that the fridge is stocked. I grab a bottle of wine, four glasses, and ask Xander to grab a blanket before we head out to join the girls on the beach.
We spend a few hours relaxing, enjoying the weather and the view. With Addi nestled between my legs, her back to my chest and her head resting on my shoulder, I am completely content, watching the waves, listening to the quiet noises that surround us and chatting with my best buddy. It doesn’t get much better than this.
After a couple of hours Xander and Lily decide to take a stroll to the nearby cove. I took Addi there the last time we were here, and it was the hottest fucking night of my life. We’re not talking romance, we’re talking hot, sweaty, fucking. It was amazing to watch her strip for me. She looked like a siren from pirate lore, enticing me into the water just so she could beguile me with her charms. I fucked her in the sea before carrying her back to shore, bending her over a rock and fucking her again and again; thrusting into her with the cold breeze on our hot naked flesh, watching as she came apart beneath me – it was fucking transcendent. My dick is hard just at the memory, and it’s pressing into Addi’s back.
“Why hello, sailor. What’s got you standing to attention?” I start nibbling her neck, the sweet taste of cherries arousing me further.
“I was just reminiscing about the last time I brought you up here, and our little excursion to the cove.” I hear the catch in her breath as she takes her own trip down memory lane.
“I’m sure I can give you something even more exciting to think about this weekend.” Holy fuck she’s hot.
“God… Addi… you might give me a heart attack if you try to excite me more than our little escapade in the cove.” Her hand slips between us, finding its way to my now massive erection.
“Oh, baby. You know I love to tease you and take you to the edge. I am going to make you beg before you slide your gorgeous cock inside me.”
“And that’s why I fucking love you.”
Holy shit. This is not how I planned it – just blurting it out.
“Wh… what did you just say to me?” She’s out of my arms and on her feet in a flash.
“What the fuck, Carter? You can’t just say shit like that. You don’t mean it, and it makes things weird between us.”
“I fucking meant it, Addi. I’ve wanted to tell you for months. Granted, this is not how I wanted to say it, but there you go. If you’re going to be all sexy and fucking adorable all the time, shit slips out.” She’s pacing the sand.
“You can’t mean it, Carter. You don’t love me. You can’t. I’m all kinds of fucked up and you know it. What we have is good, so let’s just forget about this and keep things the way they are.”
“Goddammit, Addi! Really? I can’t fucking UNSAY it, and I won’t pretend that I don’t love you. It’s out there now, you’re just going to have to deal with it. I haven’t asked you to say it back, and I don’t expect you to. I know you don’t feel the same, but I’m not going to live a lie so that you don’t feel awkward. I FUCKING LOVE YOU… GET OVER IT! You’re not shutting me out because of this, Addi. Got it?”
“You can’t tell me what to do, Carter.”
“The fuck I can’t!”
“I can’t be here.” She turns to leave.
“You’re not going anywhere, Addi, do you fucking understand me?” I grab her, pulling her close to my chest, letting her feel the rapid beat of my heart hammering in my chest. “Do you feel that? Can you really walk away from me right now?” I position my lips millimeters from hers, letting her feel the intensity of our connection before I continue. “If you can tell me that you don’t feel this… that you don’t know that this feeling MEANS something… then do it… walk away and don’t come back. Can you do that, Tesoro?” Her lips are on mine in an instant, pouring all the emotion she can’t express into this kiss. Our tongues twist and tangle in a visceral, angry frenzy, and before I know what’s hit me, she pushes me out of reach and walks away - her walk turning to a run as she disappears down the beach towards the marina.
It takes me a moment to grasp the gravity of what just happened, before I break out into a sprint after her.
ADDI
Where am I even running to? I have nowhere to go. I don’t have my cell, my wallet or my keys; Lily is off with Xander for god knows how long, and I’m running towards a non-existent destination because the most amazing man I’ve ever met just told me he loves me. What the hell is wrong with me? I should be running to him, not away from him. God, I hate myself right now, but I can’t stop myself from acting on my survival instinct.
I finally slow to a walk when I feel like my lungs are going to explode, and I find myself at the marina. I don’t know how long or how far I’ve run. I do know that there is a massive pain in my chest, and it’s not from running. I try to blend in with the crowd - slowing my breaths and wiping the tears I didn
’t know were there, from my face. It hits me; I have just blown any chance I had at a real relationship with Carter. There’s no coming back from this.
That’s when I hear him in the distance.
I quickly turn to scan the crowd, and there he is, breathless, sweating, and gorgeous. He’s running his fingers through his hair as he shouts my name, striding towards me. When he reaches me, I expect some sort of grand romantic kiss, or speech, but he just grabs my hand and drags me through the crowd without a word.
“Let me go, Carter, you’re hurting me.” The glare he gives me chills me to the bone, but he loosens his grip ever so slightly.
“Hurting you? I’M HURTING you? Holy FUCK, Addi. You have no fucking idea how your actions and reactions affect those around you, do you? You’re just off in Addi-land doing your Addi-thing and fuck the rest of us.”
“That’s not true and you know it. You don’t get to judge me because you decided to pour your goddamn heart out, completely out of the blue.”
“You really are a heartless bitch sometimes.”
We continue on in silence for a moment. I can’t argue with him because I know he’s right, and I’m ashamed of myself, but I don’t know any other way to be. As the crowd dwindles, I notice we’re walking down the pier, with yachts lining either side of us. He pulls me in the direction of a stunning vessel with the name “Vittoria” emblazoned across the back.
“Seriously? You want to show off your goddamn boat right now? You are such a fucking swanktard.” He turns to face me, pure rage in his eyes.
“What the fuck does that even mean?”
“You’re being a swanky bastard at the most ridiculous time possible.” Oh God… I just poked the beast. He looks livid.
“When have I EVER tried to win you with fucking “swanky” shit? You come from the same background as me, Addison. I’m well aware that none of this impresses you. I thought maybe the fact that I’m a good guy that wants to be with you would be impressive enough, but apparently nothing is good enough for you.” He picks me up, jumps onto the boat, and sets me down, before storming below deck. I follow him.
“Okay… okay… you don’t need to get so angry about it.”
“ANGRY? You haven’t even seen angry yet. I’m about to go fucking thermonuclear if you don’t sit THE FUCK down and listen to me.” I do as he asks. Not because he scares me; I know he would never hurt me. I sit because I need to hear what he has to say.
“Don’t mistake me bringing you here for romance or love, or me trying to impress you! This is the only place I can take you where I won’t get arrested for breach of the peace. I am so fucking angry right now.”
“I can see that.” Why can’t I stop talking? Every word out of my mouth just makes this situation much worse.
“Can you just keep your mouth shut for five minutes, Addi? Si guida pazzesco.” [You drive me crazy] If he’s going to speak freaking Italian, how am I supposed to respond? I have no idea what the hell he’s saying.
“I need to say this and you need to fucking hear it.”
“In English, please.”
“Oh. My. God, Addi. Do you know why I speak Italian so often around you? Because you drive me fucking crazy! You really had no idea I was in love with you, did you?” I shake my head; his use of the past tense isn’t lost on me.
“How could you NOT KNOW, Tesoro?”
“What does ‘Tesoro’ mean?” His features soften with a defeated sigh.
“It means treasure.”
“But you’ve called me that from the first night we met.”
“Look at me when I say this, baby.” I lift my eyes as a shiver of nerves run through me. “I may not have realized it then, but you had me snared, hog-tied and besotted with you from the first touch of your hand.” I feel like my heart is going to burst right out of my chest. I want to reciprocate and tell him how he makes me feel, but I can’t, I’m just too damaged. The silence is deafening. “You seriously have nothing to say to me? I’m not asking for love, or marriage, or even for you to move in with me. All I want is some fucking acknowledgement that you feel anything for me. Am I just a fuck buddy for you? I thought you felt the same intense connection I feel when we’re together, but maybe it’s one-way fucking traffic.” He starts running his fingers through his hair, frantically searching my face for an answer I can’t force myself to give. I know this could be the moment that he walks away, and I desperately want him to stay, but I know he would be better off without me.
“What do you want me to say, Carter? You know me. You know that this kind of shit isn’t my style. We’ve had a good run; longer than I would usually stick around. Maybe what we have has just run its course.”
“If you’re going to talk shit, Addi, at least say it like you mean it. Do you remember what I told you in the club that night?” He stalks toward me, looming over me with his imposing frame, his hands gripping the back of the sofa on either side of me. “I told you that you make me feel helpless, frustrated, desperate, and fucking turned on beyond all reason. I feel that tenfold today, baby. Why can’t you admit it? Tell me you don’t feel the same and I’ll walk away and move on. Just say the words.”
I can’t… it would be a lie. “I… I… I don’t know what to say. I can’t be what you want me to be.”
He runs the back of his hand down the side of my face, a menacing look on his face.
“Okay, Addison. Have it your way. Rather than fight with you for the rest of the weekend, I’m going to fuck you until you not only forget about all this shit you keep spouting, but until you forget your own goddamn name. Don’t speak, don’t make a fucking sound. Just let me blow your messed up, fucking beautiful mind.”
I couldn’t speak right now even if I wanted to. The fire in his eyes, the desire emanating from his delicious body, has me dumbstruck.
“Get up and take off your clothes… NOW.”
I open my mouth to protest his curt demand.
“Don’t say a word, Addi. I mean it.”
I do as I’m told, stripping off my clothes and my underwear until I’m standing before his fully clothed form, completely naked and wet for him. I am so turned on by his angry demeanor, I know that I’m slick and ready for him.
“Wait here.”
He disappears above deck for at least ten minutes. I wait; shaking and panting with desire; desperate for his touch, his caress, his beautiful big cock inside me. When he finally returns, I’m so turned on I can barely think straight. He takes my hand and pulls me behind him toward the stairs, snapping me out of my sexual haze.
“I’m not going up there. What if someone sees me? I’m freaking naked here unless you hadn’t noticed.” He continues to pull on my arm.
“You will come outside with me because I told you to. Do you honestly think I would let anyone look at your body but me? You really have no fucking clue, do you? The first night we met, I told you I won’t fucking share you. Not any part of you. I already checked, and there’s no one around for miles… no one to hear you scream.”
“If I have no clue, then why don’t I just leave you to it? You can crack one off in the moonlight.”
“Don’t fucking push me, Addi. What did you NOT understand when I told you I AM going to fuck you until you stop talking shit?” He’s so damn full of himself.
“What if I don’t want you to fuck me?” He stops dead, turning to face me on the stairs.
“Oh I know you want it, baby.”
He pulls me up onto the deck before thrusting his hand in between my legs, letting his fingers caress my entrance. His satisfied grin both annoys me and turns me on at the same time. I watch as he lifts his fingers to his mouth, spreading the evidence of my arousal over his lips before darting his tongue out for a taste.
“Your body always gives you away, sweetheart. You’re soaking wet for me, just at the thought of how hard I’m going to fuck you. Your breasts are full and heavy, your nipples begging for my attention; and your eyes… you can’t hide what you’re feeling f
rom me. I see you, Addi… I see your joy, your pain, your desire… and fucking hell, the desire in your eyes right now has me hard as a fucking rock.” My gaze moves to his crotch and his massive erection, straining to break free from the confines of his pants. “You want it, baby? It is all for you. For your tight little body and your smart fucking mouth.” As he unbuttons his pants and pushes them down just enough to let his dick spring free, I can’t help biting my lip.
“See, Tesoro? I know how badly you want me; you just need to give in to it.” He takes his hard length in his hand, stroking the length of it, his breath becoming uneven with each firm pump of his fist. It is so fucking hot. “You like this, baby? Watching me stroke my dick, letting you see how hard you make me?”
I’m mesmerized…
“This is what your hot, sexy little body does to me, Addi. Now, on your knees and I’ll give you what you really want.” I shamelessly drop to my knees without hesitation; desperate for a taste of him.
He moves closer; his dick brushing my lips before he pulls back. He grabs a fistful of my hair, holding me in place as he speaks.
“Open wide.”
I do as he asks, moving forward to take him into my mouth.
“Not until I say so.”
He holds my gaze, exerting the power he has over me in this moment, and I absolutely relish it. It turns me on, and affords me a freedom I didn’t know I needed.
“You can take me into your smart mouth now, Addison. And remember, you only get to enjoy this massive cock of mine because I fucking let you.” I can tell he is mortally wounded from our earlier fight, and all I want to do is make him feel better. I will do anything he asks to make up for hurting him so badly. I wrap my lips around the swollen crest of his cock, kissing and licking as I go, eliciting the sexiest, husky groan. I take him as deep as I can, using my hand to stroke the remaining length of him. He is so big, and he tastes amazing.
Relentless - Manhattan Knights Series Book Two Page 10
