“Let’s get cleaned up.”
Carter stands up with me still wrapped around him; his semi-hard cock still deep inside me. He walks us to the bathroom, sitting me down on the cold granite countertop before pulling out of me and moving to fill the tub, adding some bubbles – for my benefit I’m sure. He lifts me as if I might shatter into a thousand pieces if he’s not careful, lowering us both into the tub. He positions my back to his front, wrapping his strong muscular legs around me. I rest my head against his chest, content… for the first time in… forever.
“Ti amo, Addi.” He kisses my head, wrapping his arms around me.
“I love you, too, Carter.”
I can breathe again…
CARTER
Two Weeks Later
I am in awe of Addi. Her courage, her bravery, her vulnerability, and her willingness to open up to me, has completely floored me. I am so proud of her. It’s a major step forward for her, telling someone, telling me what happened. I watched Vittoria go through it, and how hard it was for her to trust people again. It shows an inner strength I knew was there, but until she recognized it herself, no one could help.
That night with Addi was a combination of the most intense rage I’ve felt since I was fourteen, and the greatest elation I have ever felt. I’ve had to rein in my anger, and curb my instinct to hunt down that son of a cunt, Gavin. I would fucking bury him in a shallow grave if I followed my gut. I’m trying to focus on what is important in the here and now – Addi. I’ll protect her from any threat, with every breath I take.
In the moments when I feel like my anger is going to swallow me whole, I take a minute and replay the other revelation she shared with me that night – she loves me. It took her a long time to realize it, and to admit it to herself, but when she did, it was the sweetest sentence I have ever heard spoken.
That night, we put her demons to bed, and I claimed every single part of her body as mine. She looked so fucking beautiful - riding me wildly as I eased my finger in and out of her, owning her in every way possible. I feel like such a dick for moaning about not being able to do that with her before. I never could have imagined her reasons for not wanting to, and when it finally happened, it was all about her, all about us… and nothing at all to do with my sexual gratification. It was an epiphany for me. I’ve always wanted to make a woman feel good when I’m with her, but it’s always been to inflate my ego and to enhance my enjoyment. That all changed as soon as Addi opened up to me. All I want is for her to feel pleasure in every way possible. To love her body, and everything that we are when we’re together; all the pleasure our bodies can bring to one another. It is the least selfish I’ve ever been during sex, and at the same time, it gave me the greatest satisfaction and pleasure of my life.
Things between us have been amazing since that night. We are only going to get stronger, growing together as a couple, and I will never get tired of hearing those three little words tripping off her sexy little tongue.
Tonight is Xander’s non-bachelor, bachelor party. He wanted to be a complete killjoy and just go out for dinner with the girls, but Logan and I convinced him that we would forever rename him ‘Xanadu’ if he didn’t man up and at least have a guys’ night out. This will be the last time the three of us get the chance to hang out like this. I know we’ll still see each other, but it won’t be the same after he’s married, and hopefully, one day, Addi and I will make the same commitment to each other, embarking on our own life adventure together. As for Logan, I don’t think he’ll ever settle down. He seems to tire of women after a really short period of time.
First, we grab a quick bite at Jason’s before heading to one of my clubs for drinks, and to meet up with some of his other friends. Spyder is jumping, just the way I like it. I must be making a killing tonight. It’s one of those nights when it really pays to be the owner. I don’t think a regular Joe will be getting served a drink for at least half an hour as they fight their way through a sea of people to get the attention of the bartenders. I’ve had one of the private rooms set up with a pool table, a private bar and our own, female, bartender. Logan is flirting shamelessly within two minutes of setting foot in the door. I don’t blame him though, she’s hot, and I would have been all over her in my attempts to get her under me, before I met Addi. She’s a great worker and a really sweet and funny girl. Logan could do a lot worse, but I know he’s only looking for an easy lay tonight, and I get the distinct impression from the way she’s looking at him - he’s found it. She remains professional, despite Logan’s obvious attempts to get her to slip out with him for a little while. Xander and I are busy trying to wipe the floor with each other at pool when Logan finally drags himself away from the bar… and the bartender.
The rest of the night goes by in a blur of booze, pool and possibly some dancing. I don’t remember much after Logan insisted on shots. Scotch, beer, and tequila are not the best combination. I vaguely remember him leaving with my bartender, and I have a hazy recollection of hailing a cab to take Xander and I back to my place. I’m almost positive there was more Scotch after that and then I woke up in my bed this morning – fully clothed and stinking of booze.
I need coffee.
Dragging my sorry ass out of bed, I strip off last night’s clothes and step into a hot shower, my head resting on the tiles to keep myself upright. I stand for at least ten minutes letting the water beat down on me, slowly bringing me back to life. When I feel semi-human, I get dressed and go in search of Xander.
Oh my God. He’s already sitting at my breakfast bar, coffee in hand, freshly showered, new clothes and a bag of fresh bagels waiting to be eaten.
“What the fuck, man? How is it that you’re up and looking like you had an early night last night?”
He chuckles. “I took two aspirin and a tall glass of water before I went to sleep. Maybe you should have done the same… asshole! I had David bring me clothes and bagels. I might not be hung over, but I’m fucking tired and I couldn’t be bothered going out for breakfast.”
I tuck into the bagels and coffee. It’s my fucking lifeline this morning. After two cups of strong coffee, I feel ready to tackle my day. We spend some time talking about arrangements for the wedding, which is only two weeks away now. I’m the best man, so I have certain things I’m going to have to take care of before we get on a plane to Italy. When I’ve made a list, and assured Xander a million times that I won’t forget anything, he moves on to dissecting my love life.
“So… things seem to be going well between you and Addi these days?” It’s a statement and a question rolled into one.
“Yeah. Things are fantastic with us right now. I’ve never been happier.”
“What changed?”
“She finally opened up about her past… and it let us move forward. She’s fucking amazing. She’s been through so much and now that I know, I can totally understand her reaction when we first got together. I’ve never felt anything so fucking intense before in my life. It’s like a force-field, drawing us together, charging the air between us every time we’re in the same room. Fuck, even talking to her on the phone gets me hard.”
“That’s great, Carter. It’s nice to see you guys happy. She obviously loves you; and you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to see that you’re crazy, head over heels in love with her… you big pussy.”
I burst out laughing, remembering all the times I’ve given him shit about Lily. “I guess I deserved that one.”
“No shit, Sherlock! She’s the one?”
It brings a smile to my face just thinking it. “Yeah, man… she is. I’m going to ask her to move in with me when we get back from Italy.” A fleeting look of worry passes across his face. “She’s a different person than when we met. She’s not afraid to tell me she loves me; we spend every night together at her place or mine, and her shit is already taking over my apartment. It’s more of a formality than anything. I wouldn’t ask her if I didn’t think she was ready.”
“Well then, I’m real
ly happy for you both. I know Lily is thrilled to see Addi so happy, and she’s always been rooting for you to be the guy that got past the façade. When we get back from our honeymoon, the four of us will need to celebrate. It’s a big step I never thought I’d see you take… not after Vittoria.”
The atmosphere changes - the gravity of what he’s just said, hanging in the air.
“I know. I never thought I’d be able to get past it, but Addi is worth the fear; she’s worth the heartache. It’ll always be there in the back of my mind, the concern that I might not be able to protect her… but I’m not fourteen anymore, and I will fucking die trying to keep her safe from anything that could hurt her.” I hate the knot that forms in my stomach at the mere thought of anything happening to her. I need to stop thinking about it or I’ll drive myself crazy.
“I need to lighten the fuck up right now. Let’s go get our girls and take them out for the day.”
“Great idea.”
We text the girls and tell them to be ready in twenty minutes for a day of adventure. They spent the night together at Addi’s apartment, so it makes it even easier to grab them and go. We have a great day - laughing and joking, excited about our trip to Italy for the wedding of the century… that is… until I marry Addi!
ADDI
Two Weeks Later
As we step out onto the tarmac at Verona Airport, I want to drop to my knees and kiss the ground. I’ve always been a great traveler, but the flight here had me breathing into a vomit bag for most of the journey. As soon as we took off, my stomach lurched up into my throat and stayed there the entire flight. Lily and Carter were fussing over me, rubbing my back; telling me to put my head between my legs, giving me sips of cold water, but nothing seemed to help. I’ve never been happier to be back on terra firma. I still feel like I’m going to barf, but a nap at the hotel and a proper meal, and I’ll be ready to get my maid of honor freak on!
I spend the drive to the hotel with my head in Carter’s lap, and not in a good way. The streets are cobbled, bumpy, and not at all helpful to my fight to keep down the breakfast I ate fifteen hours ago. When we finally stop, and I thank Jupiter that I made it here in one piece, Carter lifts me from the car, carrying me into the hotel lobby. I beg him to put me down so he can check us in, but he ignores me, cradling me in his arms while he organizes a key to our suite. He carries me into the elevator and up into our room, only putting me down when he reaches our bedroom.
“You need to rest, baby. A few hours and you’ll feel much better.” He kisses my head as he lowers me to the bed. “I’ll go organize our bags and see if Xander needs me to do anything. I’ll be back in a little while, but if you need me, just call.” As the door clicks shut behind him I close my eyes and give in to the exhaustion my body is crumbling under; the room spinning as I drift into a fitful sleep.
I jump out of bed, running to the bathroom, just managing to lift the lid before puking my guts out. I hear footsteps behind me as I hug the bowl.
“Are you ok, baby?”
I take a moment to assess the situation. “Other than the fact that I’m hugging a toilet bowl that isn’t my own, I actually feel much better.” I slump onto the floor, the cold tiles soothing my clammy skin. “A lot better.”
He scoops me off the floor, sitting me on the edge of the tub while he rifles through my toiletries. He brings me my toothbrush and toothpaste, shower gel and shampoo. With the utmost care, and the sweetest furl of concentration on his brow, he sets to work pampering me, slowly bringing me back to the land of the living. First, he brushes my teeth, before holding a cup in front of me. “Spit.”
“I can walk over to the sink and do this myself, you know.”
He kisses the tip of my nose. “Just let me take care of you, Tesoro. I’ve been sitting here helpless and worrying for the past sixteen hours.”
“I’ve been asleep for sixteen hours? Holy crap! I’m supposed to be helping Lily.”
He gently strokes my hair. “I’ve got your back, baby. I told Xander to take Lily to see Juliet’s balcony before the rest of the guests arrive and he doesn’t get a minute alone with her. I’m sure he’s been enough of a distraction for her today.”
“Devious and gorgeous. I’m one lucky girl.”
He starts the shower, stripping out of his clothes; holding my gaze as his pants drop and his thick, hard cock springs free. “I won’t argue with you there, baby. You are pretty lucky to have all this at your disposal.” His hands roam his body as he makes his way over to me, carefully undressing me before lifting me into the shower.
The water cascading over my body is a welcome, refreshing, glorious feeling; made even better by the presence of a hot, naked, and very wet Carter. I reach down to run my hand over his cock when he grabs my wrist. “No, baby. You’ve been ill. I just want to look after you.”
“But I think this would really help me feel better.” I make him laugh as I pout and bat my eyelids at him; shamelessly stroking his cock at the same time.
“You’re something else, you know that?”
“Yes… and that’s why you love me!”
His eyes turn from playful to smoldering in an instant. He grabs my ass, lifting me off the floor and pressing me up against the tiles. “I do love you… and you love me. It’s all that matters, Tesoro.”
“I love you, Carter de Rossi. Make love to me; own me… fuck me.” There are no more words, only desperate kisses, clawing, caressing, and loving. We lose ourselves to the sensations that swirl around us, between us - through us; and we find each other in the calm that comes from our union - the eye of the storm.
An hour later, after a handful of toe-curling orgasms, I feel so much better, and I find myself ravenous. The sound of my stomach rumbling has Carter dressing me, somewhat grudgingly, and treating me to a fantastic meal in the Piazza Vicino. We watch the crowds as they get ready for a night at the open-air opera in L’Arena. This is where my best friend will marry the love of her life in two days’ time, and I can’t imagine a more perfect setting for their fairytale to become a lasting reality.
I’ve eaten my own weight in pasta and had a few glasses of the best Chianti I’ve ever tasted. Carter orders everything in fluent Italian, chatting and laughing with the waiter as if he were meant to be here. He’s in his element, and it’s a beautiful sight. I could get used to Italy… with Carter.
I find myself creeping out of bed as quickly as I can without waking Carter. I make it to the bathroom, closing the door behind me and sinking to my knees… again. Last night’s pasta is not good when you’re seeing it in reverse. As soon as I’ve emptied my stomach of its contents, I feel 100% better. I’ve never had a bug like this before. Yeah, I’ve puked, and I’ve felt awful for days at a time, but I usually feel like crap the entire time. The fact that I felt amazing last night, and starving too - it’s just not like me. Realization dawns… oh shit.
Oh shit.
OH Shit.
OH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!
This cannot be happening to me. I have a goddamn IUD fitted. I can’t be pregnant. As a war wages inside my head, I already know I’m fighting a losing battle. I know this feeling…
I’ve felt it before.
A knock on the door startles me. “Addi, baby, are you in there?”
I scramble to my feet, flushing the toilet and quickly brushing my teeth. “Yeah. I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Are you ok? You’re not sick again, are you?”
I don’t want to lie to him, but I have to. “I feel great, Carter. Stop worrying. I just want to get a head start on today. Lots to do.” I open the door and rush past him, eager to get out of this room that feels so oppressive all of a sudden. “Got to go meet Lily and do the final prep for tomorrow. Then I need to make sure everything is set for the rehearsal dinner tonight.”
He slinks up behind me, snaking his arms around my waist as I pull on my jeans. Running his hands down to stop me from zipping them, sliding his hand inside. “I’m sure Lily could wait a
half hour.” He starts kissing behind my ear, which he knows will weaken my resolve… but not today.
“I really have to get going. I’ll make it up to you later. I have so much to do.”
“And I don’t? I’m the fucking best man, Addi. I just wanted to spend a little time with you before it gets crazy.” I can’t cope with this right now.
I do the only thing I know how to, my go to setting. “Boo-freaking-hoo. Cry me a river so I can float the fuck away.”
“What the hell is your problem today, Addi? I swear to God you can go from being the sweetest person I’ve ever met, to being a complete bitch in two seconds flat.” I’ve hurt him, and it’s the last thing I wanted to do, but I need to get out of here before I freak out. “Go do whatever bullshit you think is more important than me. I get that you want everything to be perfect for Lily. I feel the same way for Xander; he’s been my best friend since I was born, but don’t use it as an excuse when there’s obviously something else eating at you.”
I reach out to touch him, to offer some sort of comfort, a small apology for my outburst - but he flinches; my heart breaking a little at the sight of it. “Just go, Addi. I have shit to do, and I don’t have time for your games today. I’ll see you later.” He grabs his clothes and heads into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.
I feel like a colossal bitch right now… because I am one. Carter has been nothing but amazing to me, so understanding of my hang ups and insecurities. If only I had told him the full story when I had the chance, maybe this would be easier. Me being me, I had to make it harder. I couldn’t just lay it all out for him and see what happened. First thing’s first, I need to go and buy a goddamn test to see if my suspicions are correct.
Relentless - Manhattan Knights Series Book Two Page 13
