I met both of them during freshman year at Columbia and we’ve been thick as thieves ever since. Carter in particular, is like a brother to me. I’ve spent most of the major holidays with him and his family over the years and they have become the closest thing I have to a family. I would do anything for them, and therein lies the problem. I could never hurt them, and if I acted on my feelings for Vittoria, it would be catastrophic, so I do what I do best. I compartmentalize my life… and their family.
The predicament I find myself in, has become increasingly more difficult over the past seven months. Xander found the love of his life and is getting married, and Carter, who I thought would be my eternal wingman, has gone and fallen for Addi - Ball buster and best friend of Xander’s wife-to-be, Lily. They are all deliriously happy, most of the time, and Addison has become close with Carter’s sister, Vittoria. This is where my life becomes complicated. Up until now I’ve successfully avoided hearing about any boyfriends she’s had – I find it, unsettling; it angers me. These days, Lily and Addi have other ideas. Anytime Vittoria’s in town, they want to invite her out with us. Addi also likes to update us all on the ins and outs of her love life at every opportunity, which is slowly leading to me losing my mind, and an unnerving increase in the number of subs I’ve been training lately. It’s getting ridiculous, but at the end of the day, that’s my thing.
I don’t keep subs for myself. Not because I don’t want to be with just one woman, but because I’ve always known that no one could measure up to Vittoria. It wouldn’t be fair to take on a sub, knowing that I can’t put her needs above all others. The truth is that they would always pale in comparison to her. Don’t get me wrong, I care about the women I train, and occasionally, if I have a strong enough bond with one of them, it has crossed my mind to keep them. I’m not completely dead inside. I crave that connection to another human being; one that is only shared with each other, but I decided a very long time ago that I would channel my energy into becoming a Master.
I train submissives and get them ready to find a suitable Dom. I teach them every conceivable way to derive pleasure from pain; to please their Master; to understand their own body and how far it can be pushed in the pursuit of sexual gratification. It has always given me great satisfaction to see the transformation in a woman under my tutelage. To see her flourish as she embraces her primal instinct to submit.
Last night I became painfully aware of what I’m missing out on, so I got crazy drunk and seduced the hot bartender at Carter’s club. It’s not like me, but hearing them talking about the wedding, knowing that I’m going to be staying at the same hotel as Vittoria for five days in one of the most romantic cities on earth, surrounded by people in love – sent me over the edge. I doubt I could have told you my own name last night. I don’t even remember how I got back to my apartment.
I remember vague images of the bartender. There was a backroom at the club; my belt wrapped around her wrists; a cab back to her place. I’m pretty sure we didn’t make it to the bedroom. I can picture her face as she came, but my own release was a blur. Unsatisfying and unfulfilling. She seemed like a nice girl, but the one-night stand isn’t really my scene. I like to get to know a woman’s body, to play it with expert precision. Anything less just doesn’t give me the release that I’m looking for.
I’ve known for years, that normal relationships – boy meets girl, falls in love, and lives a cookie cutter life – weren’t going to be for me. I’m not that guy. I can give any woman pleasure beyond anything she could ever imagine. I can make her body tremble with a single word, make her climax with a single touch, and make her beg to be tied up, flogged and spanked. What I can’t do, is offer a woman the white picket fence, 2.4 children and an SUV.
They say that my sexual preferences aren’t for everyone, and they’re right in some respects. Not all men want to be a Dominant, and some men just don’t have it in them to take charge of a woman’s body, mind, and soul. However, I believe that on some level, every woman is curious to experience my lifestyle, even if it’s only once.
Bring me a bored housewife, an innocent virgin, an experienced vixen, and I can make each and every one of their bodies sing. I can spark a fire inside of them so intense, that they would literally do anything I asked of them, just for one more kiss, one more caress of my hand over their breasts and their aching clit. They would sell their soul to the devil himself to feel my cock pounding into their slick wet pussy.
That’s what gets me off.
I love the power, the ultimate control; watching a woman give herself over to me completely. It’s an honor and a privilege to have a woman put absolute faith in you like that, and I don’t take it lightly. I cherish it, and nurture it where I can, in the only way I know how.
I got my first taste for it seven years ago when a one-night stand asked me to tie her up and spank her. I was up for anything and readily agreed, but I wasn’t prepared for the rush that coursed through my body when my hand made contact with her tight little ass. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced, and when I came, fuck me, it was so damn intense. I couldn’t get enough. I took her on every surface of her apartment, in every position I could, binding her hands and feet, holding her down, totally at my mercy. The sight of her, bound with black ropes against alabaster skin, her reddened ass in the air, awaiting my attention. I had never seen a woman so completely satisfied. It was so beautiful to me, and I never looked back after that.
I did some research into places I could go to learn more about the lifestyle, and to learn how to correctly execute the scenes that I wanted to create. I found the best club in New York, Andromeda, and it opened up a whole new world for me; a side of myself that I didn’t know was there. It let me focus the darkest parts of myself, and use it to straddle the fine line between pleasure and pain. It was only after the first year that I realized just how unfulfilling my encounters had been up until then.
Unfortunately for me, as I honed my skills, reveling in the pleasure I could wring from a woman’s body, I also became painfully aware of every intriguing facet of Vittoria de Rossi. Whenever I was in her presence, I became more and more drawn to the way her body moved, knowing how pliant she would be under my touch. I was acutely attuned to her personality, her moods, what I could see that she needed. Everything about her body language screamed submissive, but there was, and is, something inside of her that will never submit to any man. I could never crush that spirit. It is a beautiful sight to behold, but it’s a double-edged sword. It’s a trait in her that I admire and adore, but it also means that we would never work; that I could never be the man she needs me to be. Once I realized that, I started avoiding her wherever possible. Making excuses not to attend family events with Carter, and as my business took off, the excuses became legitimate reasons, and by the time Vittoria graduated Julliard and started touring the world, there was no longer any occasion for us to be in the same vicinity.
It got easier after that, but a twisted part of me could never truly let her go. Whenever she performs in New York, I can’t help myself. I always go. I always sit in the dark and lose myself in her, if only for a few stolen hours. She is an exquisite dancer; every movement so precise and seemingly effortless. She was born to dance; it’s who she is, and I’m in awe of how consumed she becomes by the music when she’s on stage. It’s transcendent.
The last time I saw her perform was about five months ago, when Addi and Carter spied me outside the theatre and dragged me to dinner with them and Vittoria. I could barely breathe around her. The gentle scent of her perfume, tantalizing my senses; the brush of her leg against mine under the table, causing my chest to tighten and my cock to harden in my pants. It was a sweet agony that I would gladly endure day after day after day if I thought I could win her heart, her body, and her soul. If I could possess her in every way possible.
Just the memory of her makes me hard.
I need to call Liam later and get him to arrange a meeting with a few prospective submissives tomorr
ow night. It’ll be a welcome distraction from my upcoming trip to Verona. But for now, I’ll have to make do with grabbing a shower and heading into the office to work on the contracts for my latest signing.
Liam has three potential subs for me to train. I’m going to the club to meet with each of them tonight, to see if we connect. I don’t train just anyone. I’m very selective. It’s one of the great perks of being a Master. I have my choice of willing new submissives, eager for me to teach them how to please their future Dominant, to help them discover what they like and what is a hard limit for them.
I never have sex with a submissive before I’ve gone through the process of sitting down with them and discussing every aspect of what they expect from me, what training they require, and to gauge what I feel they could benefit from in terms of my expertise. I need to know that I can relate to a woman on an intellectual level. The physical side of it isn’t a worry for me. As long as I find her attractive, the rest will follow. It’s a myth that some people just aren’t compatible. If you are physically attracted to another person, then your “compatibility” comes down to a willingness to learn how to please each other.
The club is busy tonight; demonstrations in the main room, all private rooms occupied, and the bars and the dance floor are packed with writhing bodies. Even the VIP lounges are too busy for me to conduct my interviews, so I decide to take a different approach, and meet each of the girls in my playroom. It definitely gives me an added edge, as if I needed one, inviting them into my domain.
The first girl has the intelligence and maturity level of a five-year-old. I can’t tolerate her high-pitched giggling and hair twirling for more than three minutes before I have the bouncer outside of my room escort her off the premises.
Girl number two is hot – long legs, a perfect ass, and gorgeous long blonde hair that I could wrap around my arm as I hold her down and fuck her. Unfortunately, her looks are her only redeeming quality. In the thirty minutes that she spends in my playroom, she tries to undress for me at least three times, offers to give me head twice, and repeatedly tells me how much she likes anal. She has zero class, and I don’t think she fully understands the lifestyle she’s trying to get into.
If I wanted her naked, she’d be spread on my table already. If I wanted her to give me head, she would be on her knees with her mouth full. And, if I wanted to take her up the ass, she would be up on all fours, screaming my name as I ride her. I breathe a sigh of relief when she leaves and put some music on my iPod through the speakers in the room, to alleviate my agitation before the last woman of the evening arrives.
When I hear the knock on the door, I can barely muster the enthusiasm to open it, but the girl standing behind it, is breathtaking. I open the door wide and invite her in. Everything about her is delicious. She has the physique of a dancer, toned, slender and petite. She has stunning caramel skin and lush black hair that falls down her back in a sea of waves.
My heart slams into my chest at the sight of her.
She looks like… Vittoria.
My dick twitches in my pants, and I find myself drawn to this girl without even hearing her speak.
“It’s nice to meet you. My name is Master Fitzgerald, but I’m sure you already know that.”
She takes my proffered hand giving it a firm shake. The sweet smell of her perfume beginning to fill the room.
“The pleasure is all mine, Master Fitzgerald. My name is…” I cut her off.
“No need for names tonight, angel.” I place my hand at the small of her back and lead her over to the couch. “Please, sit.”
We discuss her likes and dislikes, her expectations and why she wants to be trained by me. She knows how to flatter a guy. “You are without a doubt, the best, and the hottest Master in New York. Every submissive that knows the lifestyle, knows that you are the expert in shibari, which is something that I have wanted to try for a long time now.”
“It’s obvious to me that you aren’t new to the scene, or to being a submissive, so my question is – why do you feel the need to go back into training?”
Her gaze drops to the floor, her discomfort apparent in the shifting of her feet.
“I need full disclosure. I can’t be your Master if you don’t trust me. I realize that you don’t know me yet, but unfortunately, in my position as a trainer rather than a long-term Dominant, I need my submissives to open up to me immediately. I know it’s a huge leap of faith at this stage, but I won’t be able to make an informed decision as to whether or not I can help you. I need you to understand that you have the power here. It is your choice entirely. You don’t have to tell me anything, and you can leave at any time with no hard feelings.”
Her demeanor softens at my last words, and I can see the moment she decides to confide in me.
“I had a bad experience with my previous Dominant. He made the decision for me, that I no longer needed a safe word. He…” I can see this is difficult for her. “He took too much pleasure in punishing me… a long way past my hard limits.”
I feel so angry for this girl. Men like that give BDSM a bad name. A Dominant’s sole purpose is to ensure that his submissive is happy and healthy, satisfied and never pushed beyond what she can handle. She should have absolute control when it comes to her hard limits. Any man that doesn’t respect and honor the strength that it takes for a woman to submit herself completely, is not a true Dom.
As a rule, I don’t train subs that look anything like Vittoria. I’ve always felt that it would be disrespectful to the woman in question, and would feel like I was betraying Vittoria somehow. A pale imitation would never satisfy me.
I really want to help this girl get past what happened with her previous Dom, and restore her faith in our lifestyle, but she looks so much like Vittoria, it’s almost eerie.
“I’m so sorry that you had to live through that. I can assure you, that a true Dominant would never treat you that way.” Her small smile is so endearing. I wonder if I could get past the physical similarity and train her.
“I know, Master Fitzgerald. That’s why I’m here. I don’t want to let him win. I believe I can still find happiness with a Dom that treats me properly. I just think that I need the safety of some training to restore my confidence before I try to find a suitable long-term match.”
“You’re a very sensible woman. I think you’re doing the right thing, and I would love to help you.”
I see the spark in her eyes at my words, and I feel my cock hardening as I drink in the sight of her.
“I would like to know a little more about you before we take this any further.”
“Anything.”
“What do you do for a living?”
“I’m a ballerina. I’m in my final year at Julliard and I’m hoping to find a ballet company to tour with after I graduate. It’s been my dream since I was five years old.”
My stomach drops. I know I can’t do this. I was kidding myself to think that I could. The similarities are just too much for me to get over. I scrub my hands up over my face, annoyed at myself for being so pathetic.
“Is something wrong, Master Fitzgerald? Have I said something to upset you?”
I stare up into her questioning eyes as I answer. Hoping that she understands that this is in no way a reflection on her.
“I’m so sorry. I can’t train you. I would love to. You are extremely beautiful and any man in his right mind would want to explore every last inch of your gorgeous body.”
“But…?”
“But, you remind me too much of someone I know.”
“Someone you loved?”
“Something like that. Trust me when I tell you that this is all my issue. You are a lovely girl, and I know that when you find the right Dom, he will worship the ground you walk on.” I watch as her cheeks begin to blush. “I would still like to help, and if it’s ok with you, I would like to speak with some of the other Masters, discuss your situation, and choose a trainer for you that I feel would be a good match. You deserve some
one that can give you the training, and attention you need to regain your confidence in yourself, and in our lifestyle. Will you let me do that for you?”
“It’s true what they say about you, Master Fitzgerald. You really are a gentleman. Stunningly handsome, with a beautiful soul. I would be honored if you would choose a Master to train me. I won’t lie and say that I’m not disappointed. You really are even more gorgeous in the flesh. I would have relished the opportunity to submit to you.”
“Thank you for the compliment. I don’t take any woman’s willingness to submit to me, lightly. I’m humbled. I will make the necessary arrangements, and be in touch when I’ve found someone for you to come and meet with.”
As she stands to leave, I offer her my hand, which she grasps with both of hers, holding my gaze. “Whoever it is that I remind you of, she’s a very lucky woman. I hope she appreciates that someday.”
“Thank you.”
She lets go of my hand and strides out of the room, turning to give me one last smile before she leaves.
How did I get here?
Three women who could have been a great distraction for me. Three women who offered themselves willingly to me, and I sent all of them away. Increasingly, I’m noticing that it’s becoming more and more difficult for me to switch off and repress the feelings I have for Vittoria.
She’s not a part of my everyday life, and yet she is.
Ever since the last time I saw her, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. The way her body moves on stage, her smile when I make her laugh, and so many little things, too numerous to count.
I don’t know how to get past this. The one-night stand didn’t help in the slightest. Work is a fantastic distraction, but only while I’m working. Training submissives has been my way of coping for years now, and it has served me very well up until recently, but lately, it just doesn’t hold the same satisfaction, and if I needed any more proof, then tonight has confirmed it.
Relentless - Manhattan Knights Series Book Two Page 32
