by E. L. Todd
I shrugged. “I guess I’m more open to the idea now, but I’m skeptical. The only thing that gives me hope that it’s still possible is Vic. I see the way he loves you, and I believe someone will love me that way.”
“Yes, that’s very possible,” she said firmly. “Have you ever considered going out with Kyle?”
It wasn’t the first time she’d mentioned him. “No.”
“He’s pretty hot.”
“He’s my friend.”
“You can’t put every guy you like in the friend zone. Otherwise, you’ll have no men to screw.”
“Kyle and I have been friends for a long time, and I want it to stay that way.” He was my rock, the person I could say anything to without judgment. We liked the same things, like hiking and bowling. I’d helped him pick up women a few times, pretending to be a heartbroken woman who got rejected by him.
“You’ve slept with him before.”
“Because I was depressed out of my mind. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“But you said he was good in bed.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t change anything.”
She gripped her glass between her fingertips. “Are you still attracted to him?”
Stacy was pushing Kyle on me, and Kyle had made a comment about us in the past. I didn’t take him seriously at the time, but now it seemed like something was going on right under my nose. “Yes, I think Kyle is hot. But I’m not interested in a romantic relationship with him. He’s my friend, and I wouldn’t jeopardize that for anything. He means too much to me.”
“Cameron really messed you up. Now you’re making all the good men off-limits because you’re afraid to lose them. That leaves the shitty men you don’t care about losing. You’re making your pool of potential guys very small.”
“Neil is different. He’s made it clear he doesn’t want anything serious. Ever.”
“If he felt otherwise, would things be different?”
“I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “I’m still in a dark place, so I’m not sure.”
Vic walked in the door with a device under his arm. Thankfully, he had stepped inside and interrupted our conversation because I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “I’ve got good news.”
“You’re taking me to dinner and then sexing me up?” Stacy asked without turning to look at him.
With a slight grin, he joined us at the dining table. “You’re right about the second part, but not the first.”
“You can’t take your woman out for a nice meal?” she asked, still gripping her glass.
He sat at the head of the table. “Why? You’ll put out anyway.”
She glared at him maliciously with her eyes, but the slight smile on her lips gave her true feelings away.
“What’s your good news?” I asked.
He turned the device around so we could see the screen. “NASA sent me a message from Neil.”
I hadn’t seen his face or heard his voice in a long time, unless I looked up old YouTube videos. I watched an episode of him as the guest on a nightly talk show, and I even saw a clip of him meeting the president. The guy was America’s hero, a man so charming and handsome he was loved by everyone. “Great. What did he say?”
“Haven’t watched it yet.” He set it down then opened the video and hit play.
Neil was in front of the screen, wearing a black t-shirt while he sat at a desk. Behind him was a gray wall, and the desk in front of him showed a couple of tools I didn’t recognize. His brown hair was slightly messy like he’d just woken up, and his skin was paler than it usually was, probably because he didn’t get much sun exposure while on the moon. But there was no doubt he was just as sexy as he’d always been. “Hey, Vic. Hope things are well at home. You said your wife should be knocked up by the time I return. That better be true.” He smiled slightly, his brown eyes lighting up in his charismatic way. He had such handsome features, a strong jaw and noticeable cheekbones. And his eyes relayed his kindness, the windows to his soul. “I sent Mom a video too, but I have a feeling she may not watch it. If that’s the case, give her my best and tell her I’ll return to Earth in a week. We’re getting ready for the launch as we speak.”
I stared at his image on the screen and sighed quietly. “Man…he’s so hot.”
Vic and Stacy both turned to me, their eyebrows raised.
“What?” I asked innocently. “He is. He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”
Stacy chuckled. “Yeah…I’m sure you’ll just be friends when he gets back.”
“We will,” I said firmly. “But I can’t think he’s sexy?”
Vic turned back to the screen, keeping his silence on the matter.
Neil kept talking. “NASA sent me here to repair the Rover system. There was some kind of issue with the software so I had to reprogram the entire thing. Took me several weeks to accomplish it, and then I’ve worked on a few other projects while I’ve been stationed here.” Sometimes his eyes drifted away from the screen, just the way it would during a normal conversation. “But I’m leaving in a week. We’ll return to Earth in the shuttle. I’m excited to see you guys.”
I didn’t expect Neil to mention me at all. I was just a friend, and this message wasn’t meant to be seen by me. But it was nice to hear his voice, to see his gorgeous brown eyes and his strong shoulders. It’d been three months since I’d gotten laid. Just looking at him got me hot everywhere.
There was a long pause, like Neil was carefully considering what to say next. His arms weren’t as sculpted as they had been before he left, but the veins were still noticeable. His hand moved to his chin, and he rubbed his fingers across his freshly shaved skin. “Give Charlotte my best. I hope she’s doing well.”
Butterflies soared in my stomach, and my heart fluttered the second I heard my name from his lips. Knowing I was on his mind and in his heart made me feel special. There were so many people he knew on Earth, and I was one of the few he was thinking about.
“I expect there will be a bunch of dog hair on my couch when I get back.” He smiled like that didn’t bother him in the least. “I look forward to seeing it.” He turned his head to the right, as if he was looking at someone offscreen. Then he turned back to us. “I’ll see you soon. Love you guys.” He reached for the mouse beside him and clicked the button to end the video.
Vic shut the device and looked at his wife. “It’s been a long three months…”
“He’ll definitely be home for a long time,” Stacy said. “He’s done two trips back-to-back. They won’t be sending him up again for awhile. He’ll probably be home for years.”
“Hope you’re right,” Vic said.
I was excited Neil was coming home. I couldn’t wait to feel those strong arms wrap around me, embrace me with strength. I couldn’t wait to see that handsome smile, listen to that deep laugh. A smile formed on my lips now that the wait was almost over. “I’m so happy he’s coming home.”
3
Neil
I lay in my cot with my arm tucked under my head. Since the surface of the moon where our station was located constantly faced the Earth, I could always see it outside my window whenever the sun was in the right place.
I’d been staring at the planet every single day for three months. It never looked as beautiful as it did hundreds of thousands of miles away. I could see the world turn and watch the clouds shift as the atmosphere protected it from the harsh radiation from the sun. Earth was so vulnerable but so resilient at the same time. When I was on a barren surface full of rocks and sand that lacked an atmosphere, I came to appreciate our home even more. It was one of a kind, the perfect condition for complex life.
I missed it.
Evelyn walked up to my cot, dressed in cargo pants and a t-shirt. “Can’t sleep?”
I turned back to her, my ankles crossed at the edge of the cot. “Just anxious.”
She sat on her cot across from me, her hair in a braid over one shoulder. “I thought Commander Neil Crimson wo
uld never want to return to Earth.”
I loved being deep in space, and the only thing I missed about Earth was gravity. But now I missed summer in the South, missed getting a Slurpee at the local gas station, looking out my back window and seeing a black Lab enjoying the shady spot in the grass. I missed the soft strands of hair that lay across my chest while I slept. There was a small pain in my heart, a discomfort I couldn’t describe. “I guess I’m a little homesick. What about you?”
She shrugged. “A bit. I miss my friends and family, but I know when I return to Earth, it’ll be years before I can get back up here. So, I’m trying to cherish every moment I can. I’m not the best test pilot in the air force, not the astronaut who’s been in space the longest. You’ll launch at least a dozen more times in your career. For me…this could be the last time. Not as much need for an astrophysicist up here.”
I could say empty words to make her feel better, but that felt like too much work. Pilots launched into space more often because they could dock with the ISS, and they could land the space shuttle on the landing strip in Houston. Scientists had to rely on open seats in order to get to the Lunar Labs or the ISS because they didn’t have the skills to fly. I was also an engineer, which enabled me to handle the computer systems if something went wrong. “Maybe this is the last time. But maybe it’s not.”
“It’s always been my dream since I was a young girl. And it’s everything I imagined it would be…”
“Then don’t be sad that it’s over. Be happy that it happened.”
She leaned against the wall and pulled her knees to her chest. “What’s your favorite part about it?”
I turned my head back to the window and looked at Earth. “This.”
“It is incredible, isn’t it?” Her voice lowered, and then silence overtook us both.
Together, we stared at Earth…the only place in the galaxy that everyone who’s ever lived has called home.
I closed the hatch and began my walk on the surface of the moon. I could hear my own breathing inside the space helmet, and the light on my suit illuminated the terrain underneath my boots. Houston was in my ear.
“All readings clear,” the director spoke over the intercom.
Gravity was one-sixth what it was on Earth, so I practically bounced as I walked across the surface. Without the force pulling me to the surface of the planet, it would be assumed that I could get where I needed to go faster, but that wasn’t the case. It took me longer because I moved vertically rather than horizontally most of the time. The Aitken Basin was just over the ridge, the largest and oldest crater on the moon. Sixteen hundred miles across and nearly four miles deep, it was beautiful and eerie at the same time. I stopped at the edge and looked down, seeing an infinite shadow stretch all the way to the bottom.
Even with Houston in my ear, spacewalks on the moon were profoundly lonely. Surrounded by darkness and the unknown of space, it was so quiet. If my helmet wasn’t on, I couldn’t even hear my own breathing. Without air or an atmosphere, I couldn’t make a sound at all. I couldn’t scream for help.
It was the most humbling experience.
People were surprised by my lack of arrogance on Earth. I was a famous man with a famous face. People described me as brilliant. Others considered me courageous. And many others considered me the most desirable bachelor on the planet. But once your feet had left the surface of our planet, it was abundantly clear how insignificant you were.
I was nothing.
The universe was millions of years old, and there were billions and billions of stars in the sea of nothingness. It made our planet insignificant. And if eight billion people were insignificant, what did that make me?
Insignificant.
I kneeled down and scooped up a handful of sand before placing it inside a secured plastic bag. I sealed the top and placed it into my pocket.
Houston spoke over the intercom. “What’s your status, Neil? Do you see something?”
I continued to walk forward and disregarded their inquiry. They probably realized my position on the satellite had turned ideal. “About to step down into the crater, Houston. Everything is good on my end.”
Lunar Labs could accommodate six astronauts, just as at the ISS. There were only three of us now because the previous three astronauts stationed there had returned to Earth. We stayed behind because each of us still had work to do.
Now it was a bit lonely.
There was a sense of camaraderie between us, but we each had very different disciplines. Evelyn was the first astrophysicist in space, and she worked with the satellites we had positioned on the dark side of the moon. Simon was a biologist, and he was a smart guy, just withdrawn and quiet.
There was some chemistry between Evelyn and me, but that was a line I would never cross.
NASA didn’t have any rules in regards to personal relationships between astronauts, but I thought that was the dumbest idea in the world. Even though I was alone on the moon, I still wouldn’t give in to temptation because it was completely unprofessional. I wasn’t really interested anyway…just lonely.
To my surprise, I thought about Charlotte more than I expected. I’d imagined I would think about her for the first few weeks I was away, and then she would fade from my mind. In actuality, my longing for her increased as weeks turned into months. Now that the mission was over, I was most excited to see her.
I missed her.
Our physical relationship was over, and now, we would just be friends.
But just a friendship with her was so fulfilling. It cured my loneliness, made me feel complete in a way my other lovers never did. I couldn’t wait to see her smile again, see the blue Slurpee stain her teeth and make her cute. I couldn’t wait to hear that laugh, see her sexy legs in those cutoff jeans.
But then a terrible idea hit me.
She could be with a guy.
It’d been three months…she could be serious with another guy.
She could even be with Kyle.
She was just my friend, so it shouldn’t matter who she was with, even if it was Kyle. But it still turned me inside out and made me sick…which was impressive because I could withstand an incredible amount of g-force without getting nauseated. But just the thought of Kyle finally getting what he wanted made me never want to return to Earth so I wouldn’t have to watch it.
4
Charlotte
Kyle and Vic helped me move into my new place.
“Right here is good.” I pointed to the spot on the rug.
The guys carried the heavy piece of furniture inside and set it down, their strong muscles flexing.
Torpedo sat in the corner, his eyes following the guys in their movements.
Stacy came in next with the throw pillows for the couch. “It’s not even done, and it already looks great.”
It was a great milestone in life, purchasing my first home. I did it all by myself, my private jab at Cameron. He left me destitute and kept the house, but I landed back on my feet all on my own. “Thanks. Torpedo likes it too.”
Kyle walked into the kitchen and grabbed a water. Sweat poured down his forehead and arms, and he looked like a workout model in a TV commercial. The more Stacy pointed him out, the more I noticed all his charms. I understood why women were always interested in him, not just because he was handsome, but because he was thoughtful and kind.
“Need help with anything else?” Stacy asked. “I could pick up something heavier than a few pillows.”
“Forget it.” Vic moved his hand over her stomach, sprinkling her with a subtle touch of affection. “You aren’t moving a damn thing.” He walked back outside and headed to the moving truck parked on the street.
I stared at Stacy, my eyebrow arched so high. “Girl…”
She could barely hide her smile. Her cheeks reddened and she looked at the ground, hiding her embarrassment as best she could. Then her hand slid gently across her stomach, and the glow of her skin suddenly became obvious.
“Oh. My. God.
”
She finally released a sigh and squealed. “Yes, I’m pregnant.”
“That’s amazing.” I moved into her arms and hugged her tightly, feeling happy for my best friend. She and Vic had been looking forward to this for years, and now the moment had finally arrived. “I’m so happy for you.”
“I wasn’t sure how to tell you. With everything that happened—”
“You have nothing to worry about.” I pulled away so she could see my expression. “I’m very happy for you. I’m going to be an aunt. It’s such an honor.” I’d wanted to have my own children, and sometimes I wondered how different my life would have been if Cameron and I could have gotten pregnant. I always pictured myself running around with two kids. It was hard watching someone experience the beauty of motherhood, but I was genuinely happy for her. “You and Vic are going to be awesome parents. And when this baby starts to drive you crazy, I can babysit with Torpedo.”
“Can I get that in writing?” she teased.
Vic walked back inside, and when he saw us together, he figured out what just happened. “Figured out I knocked up my wife?”
“Yep. Congratulations.” I hugged him next.
“Thanks.” He squeezed me hard then patted me on the back. “Now we just need to find a house before this baby gets here.”
“I’m sure you’ll find something that has everything you’re looking for.”
Kyle came next and hugged them both. “Congratulations. That’s really exciting.”
“We’re so happy.” Stacy rubbed her stomach. “I’m only a few weeks along, so we shouldn’t be telling people, but we can’t keep it from you two.”
“Neil will be thrilled.” I’d been counting down the days until his return, so excited to see him I could barely contain it. He was about to find out he would be an uncle—and that would certainly put a smile on his face.
“Absolutely,” Vic said. “I’m the only one who will continue the family line, so he’ll definitely be excited about it.”
