“Tisha, I’m ready to tell you what happened with me and Rodney. Better yet Buddy. I met him as Buddy and that’s what I will call him. I don’t care about that other shit anyway.” My sister said as she exhaled deeply and walked into the living room to sit beside me on the couch.
“Buddy left me because I’m crazy sis. I know you heard me say that shit before, but I really mean it this time. You’ll think so too after I tell you this. One night after we fucked, Buddy laid in my bed as I sat up and smoked a few blunts and blew a few lines. As I sat there and got higher and higher these voices got louder and louder in my head. I could hear bitches like they were playing on an answering machine, talking about how they missed him and wanted to fuck.”
“Now as I’m hearing this shit, his fine ass laying there smiling with his massive dick in his hand like he could hear the bitches too. As soon as I saw that I lost it and reached over for my box cutter on the nightstand. Without thinking I popped that bitch open and pulled down the front of his boxers. He opened his eyes instantly as I pushed his hand to the side and grabbed his meat in my palm ready to cut a chunk of flesh off. When his eyes focused and he saw what I was about to do he kicked my ass so hard I almost flew into the hall. After that it was over because he was dressed and out of our lives before I could blink. He tried to call for the boys after that, but I told him if we weren’t together he couldn’t see them. I know I was wrong for that and every fucking thing else sis, but I just can’t stop it. I can’t stop it T. He told me I was rotten and he didn’t want nothing else to do with me unless I got help. I want help Tisha, but I don’t know how. I fucked up. I want him back. Help me TISHA!” My sister cried on my shoulder as I vowed to help her and I did.
The next morning, I sent Jerrod, Sha, and A’Miracle back home to California because it was August 1st and school was about to start. I told my husband I would be back home the following week and that I would be careful as I kissed him goodbye at the airport. It was hard to pull off and know my family were on their way home without me, but I knew I had to finish what I had started in Memphis. That is exactly what I did too because when I got back to the apartment Terricka and I began to work on the plan. I quickly created her a resume and sent them out before I helped her get dressed and we went to her first counseling appointment. By the time her appointment was over she had received two interview letters and everything started to look up. We drove home that night happy, so we celebrated by smoking a blunt and watching old movies once the kids went to bed. I felt hopeful as I watched my sister smile when I told her I was proud.
“Everything about to turn around sis, I can feel it. You just gotta keep going. You gotta stay optimist no matter what happen. I’m right here to help okay? I got you!” I said to my sister as she nodded and we tuned back in to the movie. For four days everything did start to look up as my sister went on interviews and visited a new therapist. By day five all of that shit crashed when Terricka came home to say her five interviews were followed by five rejections. That alone was not enough to disappoint me because I knew the job market in Memphis and I knew she had to just keep trying. What hurt was the fact that she was drunk and high as hell as she walked in the house loud and rude how she usually was.
“Well, bougie, know-it-all sister of mine, I guess you can put up yo psychic hat cause bitch five interviews made five rejections. Bitch you don’t know shit. Ain’t nobody gonna hire my ass. You might as well gone slide yo bougie ass back to Cali cause you ain’t helping shit here.” Terricka yelled as I sat there on the couch and just stared up at her.
That was one of her other personalities, as rude and belligerent as usual, but I wasn’t gonna listen or let the kids be subjected to it. I jumped up just as Terricka walked over to the couch Tania and Talaya were sitting on and pushed Talaya on the floor so that she could sit down. “Move yo lil ass out the way then. Mrs. Bougie finna go home soon so y’all can go back to the way y’all was…OUT MY FUCKING FACE!” Terricka yelled as she laid down on the couch and closed her eyes while Tania jumped up and Talaya cried at her feet.
I quickly rushed over and picked her up before I whispered for Tania to get her brothers. By the time they all came down the steps I was at the door with it open. I didn’t even stop as I snatched up my purse and guided the kids out and down to the truck. As soon as I put Talaya in the truck and strapped her in, Terricka finally realized we were gone and ran out on the porch.
“Where the fuck you think you’re going with my kids TISHA!”” My sister yelled as I jumped in the truck and she jumped off the porch like a cracked out cat woman. She caught me so off guard with that shit so I forgot to lock the doors and she almost got in. I was slipping but Rodney Jr, wasn’t as he quickly hit the locks from the passenger seat. “I’mma fuck you up bitch.” Terricka yelled in my face as she pressed her distorted face up against the window.
I didn’t want to hear that shit though so I crunk up and pulled back as she ran alongside the truck. I didn’t even look in her direction as she yelled she would call the police and I sped out of the parking lot. I could still here her voice ring in my ears as I rode towards the Robinsons’ and the kids chatted about how crazy their mother was. Once at home with the Robinson’s I got the kids something to eat and fixed them a spot in the family room to lay down and watch movies while I talked to Tania. I told her about everything I had gone through with Terricka and how I saw so much of our mother in her. I told her how I feared for the kids and asked what I should do.
“I don’t have to tell you what to do Tisha, you know what to do. Save your nieces and nephews the same way we did you. Their safety is what’s most important. Your sister is grown and has to work through her own demons. Those kids can’t. Do what you know is right Tisha.” Tania said to me before she left me to sit alone in the dark in the living room.
I sat there and thought about that for a while as I went over all of the possible outcomes in my mind. I thought so long and so hard that I had to lay down and before I knew it I was asleep. When I woke up it was after midnight and the Robinson household was quiet as usual. I tiptoed into the family room to find the kids fast asleep before I creeped up to my adoptive parents’ room to find Tania up reading.
“I’m going to talk to Terricka about taking the kids.” I whispered to Tania before she nodded her head and whispered back that she knew I would do the right thing. I left there with an eerie feeling and drove all the way tense as fuck with the words that I would say to my sister on my mind. When I pulled up in front of the apartment and saw all the junkies and others outside of the apartment I instantly forgot all of that shit as I jumped out and went inside. I had to punch a few fuckers on my way in as one groped me and the other kissed my hair. Their laughter trailed me inside the house, but was quickly overpowered by the loud ass music that played on the radio. I almost passed out when I stepped in and the thick, mixed weed and crack smoke filled my lungs and caused me to cough and gag. I bent down and tried to catch my breath as I looked around for Terricka. I didn’t see her anywhere as I stood back up and was approached by a tall, dark skinned dude with gold teeth.
“Damn lil mama, what’s yo name and yo poison. Big Daddy got you girl!” The boy said as his stank ass breath choked me harder than the drugs in the air.“Boy please, get yo life. My poison is nothing ass niggas so get yo bitch ass back.” I yelled as I pushed past him and searched the kitchen.
After I didn’t find Terricka I damn near threw up everywhere after I caught a fat lady eating a skinny lady’s dirty, nappy pussy on the kitchen table. I rushed out that bitch so fast my head spent. I quickly jumped back in my truck and decided I was tired of trying to reason with Terricka or even seeing that nasty, ghetto shit she was in to. That was the final straw because I knew deep down she was everything Denise had been to us in my eyes and I couldn’t help but to think that the sexual abuse would come next. I just couldn’t let that happen to her babies.
I sped off the lot quickly as I got my phone out of my purse and dialed Terricka
’s friend Sky’s number. I knew that Sky was logical, had her shit together, and could help me if I needed it. That was a moment I needed it so I reached out. “Sky, this is Tisha. I really need your help. Terricka is really out of control and the kids are in danger. Meet me at the apartment at 9 am. We’re doing an intervention and I’m going to take the kids. “I said to her answering machine before I hung up and sped towards home at the Robinson’s.
Once I was back at the house I went straight to bed and tossed and turned all night as I dreamed about what would happen when I told Terricka my plan. My phone rung for a half second at about 4:45 am and jolted me out of my restless sleep. When I flicked on the light and looked at the ID no number showed up because it didn’t ring a complete ring so I threw the phone back on the nightstand before I laid back down. I laid there for about an hour with the light on as I worried about my sister and that mysterious phone call parked another separate, but deep fear within me. I had to make myself close my eyes at six am as I finally fell back to sleep. I could barely keep my eyes open or even eat breakfast for that matter the next morning as I mentally prepared for the battle ahead. After I got the kids dressed in clothes I ran out to buy that morning from Walmart we all loaded in the car and headed to the apartment.
“TeTe Tisha, I don’t want to stay with mama. Can we stay with you for a while?” Rodney Jr. asked me as we pulled into the parking lot of their apartments right next to Sky. I turned off the engine and then turned to look at him as tears welled up in my eyes. “That’s what we’re here to do boo so let’s stay hopeful. TeTe would love to take care of you all until mommy gets better. Now let’s go get some stuff. When we get inside you all go upstairs and pick yo favorite things and put them in a bag. After that hurry back downstairs so we can go. Okay?” I asked them as they all shook their little heads with excitement in their eyes.
“And give mommy kisses and tell her you love her and to get better before you walk out the door. Now, let’s go.” I said as I tried to pump myself up. The truth is my heart raced in my chest and I felt like I couldn’t breath as I walked on the porch behind the kids and Rodney, Jr. opened the door. As soon as he did the cursing inside hit my ears and Terricka flew at me like a possessed cat.
“Where the fuck you been with my kids bougie bitch? You ain‘t getting them and I ain’t going no fucking where unless it’s to jail for whooping yo ass.” Terricka yelled as she tried to hit me and I side-stepped her as Sky stepped in the middle of us. I didn’t even say a word, I just stared at Terricka with a smug expression before I nodded to the kids to go upstairs and Sky tried to calm Terricka down.
“Stop it Terricka this is for your own good. You need help. Let Tisha take the kids for a while and I will be here to help you through rehab. You need this.” Sky said with tears in her eyes as she hugged Terricka. I stood back on guard as I watched Terricka flap around in Sky’s arms and curse as she stared at me. I couldn’t believe how different that Terricka was from the one I had seen days earlier, but I knew I didn’t want to be around long.
“Yes T, you know you need this. Now, it’s time for tough love so either you get help now or you won’t see the kids again. Either way, I’m taking them.” I yelled as I ran up the steps to help the kids and Terricka went crazy behind me. “That’s what you think bitch. I’ll call the police or kill yo bitch ass first.” Terricka threatened but I didn’t stop until I was in the girl’s room.
Within four minutes I had them all packed and Talaya in my arms as I ran down the steps with the others behind me. “Bitch, I bet you ain’t going nowhere.” Terricka yelled as I ran to the door with the kids right with me. I opened the door and ran out right into the hands of four clothed police officers. “That’s her police, the crazy stalker, and she trying to take my kids.” Terricka yelled from the door as a female officer stopped me and took Talaya out of my arms.
I stood there shocked as another one put me in cuffs and Sky told Terricka she was wrong. “Terricka you know that’s your sister and she is just trying to help. You’re wrong for doing this Terricka. Let her take the kids before the truth come out and they go to the state. Come on now Terricka.” Sky yelled as Terricka cursed at her and I thought about whether or not I should tell the truth.
I wanted to yell out every horrible thing she was and have her ass arrested, but I knew what would happen to the kids. I was just a sister, not the parent so they would surely go to the state first. I didn’t want that for them so I decided to say just enough to keep them safe until I could get them for good.
“Please don’t take me to jail. I’ll leave the kids. However, my sister is drunk and I feel the kids shouldn’t be with her like she is. Let me or Sky take the kids for the night and then everything will be fine.” I suggested as one of the officers nodded his head.
I watched Sky whisper in Terricka’s ear as an officer told her to calm down or she would go to jail, then she turned to look at me. “Okay the bitch is my sister and she wasn’t kidnapping them, but I don’t want her to take them. Sky can keep them until I sober up.” Terricka said as my heart broke but I felt relieved.
I stared at her and shot a million daggers her way as the officers lectured her on false accusations and being drunk in front of her kids. I stood there mad as fuck and listened as tears ran down my face and the female officer released me from the handcuffs before she pulled me to the side.
“What you were trying to do is right Mrs. Hill, but you did it the wrong way. I know all about your sister but can never prove anything. Go fill out the proper paperwork to take those kids and I promise I will help. Here’s my card.” The woman officer said as she handed me her card and I noticed her last name was Black just like the police woman who had helped me.
After that we had to sign some papers before the police went to talk to Terricka again and I hugged and kissed the kids. Just as I walked on to the porch to grab my purse which had fell off my arm when I was handcuffed my phone rang inside and I quickly took it out. I recognized Sha’s number to the cellphone I got him instantly and answered it to hear a girl’s voice. “Mrs. Hill, this is Lydia, Sha’s girlfriend. You have to come quick because he’s in the hospital and they think he won’t make it.” Was the last thing I heard before I passed out.
Chapter 6
Sometimes to Love, Is to Let GO!
I woke up on the cold, hard, concrete of Terricka’s porch as she frantically called my name and an EMT worker put an oxygen mask over my face. I felt dizzy and confused for a second as my eyes fluttered open and I tried to focus them despite the intense throb in the back of my head. When I was finally able to see I looked up at my worried sister as tears streamed down her face. I could see nothing but concern and love written all over her, but it was too bad because I didn’t feel that way back.
Suddenly all that had happened flashed in my mind and I couldn’t feel anything but hate for my sister. It was her fault I was even in that situation, even in Memphis in the first place, and I wasn’t going to let her forget that. I yanked at the mask and sat up despite the pleas of the emergency personnel around me.
“Ma’am, you have to lay down. You might have a concussion because you hit the porch pretty hard.” A female EMT yelled as I sat up and waited for the world to stop spinning.
“Tisha please you have to lay down and let them make sure you’re okay.” Sky said as she stepped forward and grabbed my right shoulder while Terricka grabbed the other. “What happened anyway Tish? Who was that on the phone and what did they say?” Terricka asked as I realized she had her hand on me and I violently jerked away.
I disregarded everything that everyone said as I slowly got up on my feet and grabbed my purse off the ground. I quickly found my phone with a now cracked screen that someone had put back into my purse and called back the last number that had called me. I walked over to the kids as everyone continued to beg me to lay down but their words were nothing but a jumble of mixed match sounds.
After I kissed each of the kids and promised to come back f
or them, I slowly walked back over to my sister with the phone still up to my ear. I stared at Terricka as she stood there ashamed and struggled to meet my gaze. I knew that she could tell by the look in my eyes that I was done with her and that was a reality she didn’t want to face. I really didn’t want to feel that way, but I couldn’t help it as my heart broke over all she had done and what I was potentially about to face.
“Terricka, I’m...” I began when someone suddenly answered Sha’s phone and I turned my attention to that crisis instead. “Hello. Who is this and where is my brother?” I yelled into the phone as I glanced at Terricka and saw nothing but pure horror in her eyes.
She tried to come over and hug me to listen in, but I held my hand up to her as I stepped down off the porch instead. I waited for the girl on the other end to stop crying as I watched the police EMT’s leave and Terricka broke down on the porch.
“As I said the first time I called Mrs. Hill, or should I call you Tisha. I am Lydia, Sha’s girlfriend. My mother married Sha’s dad and that’s how we met.” The girl said as I was taken aback by her honesty and the fucked up circumstance that lead them together.
I didn’t judge them or their relationship based on that information, because I had no room to judge and I knew that you couldn’t control who you loved. I was worried though about what had happened to Sha and how she ended up with him and his phone. “Okay Lydia, nice to meet you. NOW TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BROTHER.” I yelled on the other end as she sniffled and I watched Terricka fall to her knees.
Sins of Thy Mother 4 Page 13
