Elizabeth felt that she had underestimated Mary’s intellect and sweet soul. Though Mary could be pedantic and tiresome at times, her behavior was a philosophic effort to make herself known to others. Regrettably, her behavior could only be interpreted as prideful and, therefore, would repel the very people she was hoping to attract.
Elizabeth was resolved to improve her relationships with all her family. Though she could not approve of her two youngest sisters’ behavior, they did have many good qualities that deserved her respect, and they could only benefit from an increase of attention on her part.
“Mary has changed since your accident. She is kinder, more attentive to everyone, and a pleasure to be around. She was very afraid for you as we all were. I am pleased to know that you two are growing closer. We all need each other very much.”
“My whole family has become very important to me since my accident. You must tell me about your evening. Did you dance with Mr. Bingley?” asked Elizabeth with a teasing smile. “I must know all about it!”
“I did. He is such a wonderful man. If you had to be anywhere but at home, I am glad you are under his care and protection. He dances so gracefully, has pleasing manners, and always has something kind to say to everyone he meets.”
“Tell me more!”
“I shivered when he took my hand and led me to the dance. It was thrilling to spend even those brief moments with him as we went down the dance. I did not want him to let me go. We spoke while we danced, and it is not just that he is intelligent, but the sound of his voice seemed to penetrate my whole body. I felt as if I were a part of him. We spent as much time together as we could. Indeed, I had no interest in anyone else.”
“Do you love him?” Elizabeth was certain that she already knew the answer. Jane had never spoken of any gentleman in such terms.
“Yes, I confess I do love him.”
“I am so happy for you, though I must admit I am not surprised. The expression on your face every time you speak of him betrays the feelings you have for him. I completely approve your choice. He is a good man.”
After a pause, Jane continued. “And we spoke of your friend.”
“My friend?” Elizabeth’s confusion dispelled when she realized who the friend in question must be. Her face lit up with a smile.
Jane laughed. “Please tell me about Mr. Darcy.”
“You are quite right. We have become good friends. He comes to visit me throughout the day, and we talk and laugh together. I find him to be quite a handsome man, full of good humor and serious thought.” Looking up at Jane, whose face held a somber expression, she added, “You are not angry with me, are you?”
“I could never be angry with you. I do not want to see you get hurt, that is all.” Jane smiled at Elizabeth and then reassured her. “Mr. Bingley has nothing but the highest regard for Mr. Darcy.” Jane paused for a moment. “Mr. Darcy and I spoke of you last night.”
“What did you say?”
“I can tell that he likes you very much. I know it is inappropriate for me to tell you that, but since I know, I want you to know.”
“I know that he likes me. Do you think it could ever be more?”
“You deserve to be happy, and I think he could make you so. I just do not want you to raise your expectations and be hurt, that is all.”
“Why do you think I will be hurt?”
“It is just that he is so wealthy and comes from an important, established family, and we . . . ” Jane’s voice trailed off.
“I know, but nothing like that seems to be important when we are together.”
The young ladies were interrupted by a knock at the door. Jane looked at Elizabeth, who shared a knowing glance with her.
Darcy was granted leave to enter the room. “Oh, forgive me,” he said on seeing Miss Bennet. “I did not mean to interrupt. Please excuse me.” He began to step out of the room.
“Mr. Darcy, you are very welcome to stay,” said Jane. She could not help but notice how Lizzy’s face lit up when he entered. She decided it was a little too late to be warning Lizzy not to fall in love with Mr. Darcy.
“Thank you, Miss Bennet,” he said as he walked back into the room. “Good morning, Miss Elizabeth.”
“Good morning, sir.”
“I was just telling my sister about the pleasant evening we enjoyed at the assembly last night.”
Darcy looked pleased. “Yes. It was a wonderful gathering. Meryton seems filled with kind, friendly people.”
“Did you dance often, Mr. Darcy?” asked Elizabeth. She wrinkled her brow as a feeling of jealousy passed through her heart at the thought of Mr. Darcy dancing with anyone but herself. More cheerfully, she added, “I venture to say that you must be an excellent dancer.”
“Do you think so? I cannot say. You will have to decide for yourself at the next ball.” He laughed. “In answer to your question, I danced with three of your sisters, with Miss Lucas, Miss Maria Lucas, and Miss Bingley. They are all very pleasing young women. I was sorry you were not able to attend. Do you enjoy dancing?”
Jane noticed that Mr. Darcy seemed genuinely fond of Lizzy, and she hoped that her impression of him was wrong. If his intentions were not honorable, it was within his power to hurt Elizabeth very much, and Lizzy did not seem to want to guard herself against the possibility.
“Oh, yes, very much. I enjoy moving up and down the set with the music. There is such a feeling of freedom in it for me, like the wind blowing through my hair when I walk in the evening breeze.” Elizabeth smiled shyly. “And particularly when I have a pleasing partner.”
Jane cleared her throat. “Well, I think I should be going. Lizzy, I will give your love to our family.” Jane gave Elizabeth a kiss, and then with a glance at Mr. Darcy added, “And, Lizzy, promise me that you will rest.”
“I will. You will come again tomorrow, will you not? I would very much like that. I would enjoy finishing our conversation.”
“As would I.” Jane grinned. “Good day, Mr. Darcy.”
“Let me see you out, Miss Bennet.” Fortunately for Darcy, Anne chose that moment to return to Elizabeth’s bedchamber, bringing with her a book. Jane stepped back so Anne could seat herself on the other side of the room.
“I thank you, no. Please keep Lizzy company.” After smiling at her sister, she left the room to search for Mr. Bingley and bid him good day.
* * * * *
WHEN JANE HAD CLOSED THE door and Anne’s attention was called away by her book, Darcy sat down in the chair that Miss Bennet had just vacated.
“Your sister loves you very much, Miss Elizabeth.” He had observed their interactions on several occasions, and the affection the sisters felt for each other was apparent in the sparkle in their eyes when they spoke to each other, the gentle words they used, and in Miss Bennet’s constant attention to Elizabeth. It was a pleasure to behold, and he resolved in his heart to be a better brother to Georgiana.
“What shall we talk about today?” Elizabeth asked in a playful manner.
He chose to answer her with his own question. “What think you of books?”
“My father had a good library, and we were always encouraged to read, therefore, I have read histories and poetry, letters and prose. I find that I prefer Shakespeare’s dramatic plays to any other.”
“Which is your favorite?
“I know it may not be proper for a young lady of genteel breeding to say so, but my favorite is Hamlet.” She favored him with a teasing smile, daring him to rebuke her taste.
“I had not expected that you would like such a dark play. Pray, which part is your favorite?”
Darcy was impressed with many of the qualities he found in Elizabeth. Now, he added intelligence to that list of virtues. He was in great danger of being thoroughly and completely in love with her. Could he marry her despite family and the social demands that found her to be wanting in those aspects of status and fortune that would be expected of the woman who would become the mistress of Pemberley?
“I do not have a particular part I like more than others, but I am drawn to think about the nature of Hamlet and Ophelia’s relationship. Hamlet was prevented from marrying her because he was expected to marry a woman who would provide an increase to the kingdom because of her place in her own society, or would promote the cause of peace between two countries betwixt whom some tension existed.”
“Are not those good reasons to marry?” He was uncomfortable with the fact that Hamlet’s motives and his own appeared to be similar, and he expected that in her next breath Elizabeth would condemn them both.
“I do not think so. Ophelia was a good woman who genuinely loved Hamlet. She was not interested in being queen, and she cared not for the riches and prestige such a marriage would provide her. All she wanted was Hamlet. And because he was weak and would not stand up against his uncle, a man he already knew to be evil, he broke her heart. She died because of it, and he spent the rest of his short life being miserable. Had he married her, none of the other problems in the story would have happened. While it would have made for a less interesting play, certainly Hamlet would have enjoyed great benefits from being loved by such a woman as Ophelia.”
“I had never considered Hamlet from that point of view before. Tell me, why will you marry?”
She bowed her head and did not look at him when she answered. “I will marry only for reasons of the deepest love and affection.”
Chapter 6
JANE LEFT ELIZABETH’S BEDCHAMBER AND descended the stairs into the hall. She was walking towards the entryway when she heard his voice. She could not help but smile when Mr. Bingley drew near her.
“Miss Bennet, have you been visiting your sister?” He colored when he realized how silly his question had been. He sighed inwardly.
“Yes, I was. Mr. Darcy joined us.”
“I am not surprised at that. I know he intended to go to her this morning.” He hesitated and then glanced at her with a questioning look. “Will you join me for tea?”
Jane had not anticipated this. She had been hoping for just a few words with him. “I would be grateful, sir.”
Bingley ushered her into the drawing room and sent a servant for tea. After they were seated, Miss Bennet emptied her heart of the burden of gratitude that she felt for Mr. Bingley.
“Sir, let me thank you again and again for caring for Elizabeth. Because of your kind attentions and solicitude, she will soon be in full health and able to return home. I am filled with gratitude and only wish there was something I could do for you in return. I wish I could express all that I feel. You are everything to us . . . and to me.”
He looked at her intently for a moment, as if deep in thought. Little did she know he was rallying his courage.
“Well, there is something that you can do, Miss Bennet.”
“Oh, please tell me.”
“You said I am everything to you . . . ”
Jane waited a moment, but he did not continue.
“That is true, sir.”
“Well . . . I want you to be everything to me.”
The tender expression on his face and his barely audible whisper spoke of love, and her heart leapt for joy at this acknowledgment of his attachment to her.
“I will.”
Jane lost all notice of time and, before she knew it, had been with him over an hour. By the time she left Netherfield, she could think of nothing else.
* * * * *
DARCY CONTEMPLATED WITH EXCITEMENT THE prospect of being with Elizabeth that afternoon. She bade him enter with a happy voice, and he once again enjoyed a welcoming smile from Anne. Darcy moved to the chair next to her bed at her invitation, and once they had completed the usual salutations, they resumed their conversation. “Mr. Darcy, please tell me about your home.”
“I share my time between my townhouse in London and Pemberley, my estate in Derbyshire, which is near a little market town called Lambton.” Darcy saw a look of recognition on her face. “Do you know it?”
“My aunt is from Lambton and has told me all about the place. She has nothing but the fondest memories of her life there. Is Pemberley a beautiful home?”
Elizabeth moved herself beneath the bedclothes so that she was as near Darcy as she dared. This did not go unnoticed by the gentleman. He sat on the edge of his chair and leaned towards her as he spoke.
“It is, and I am certain that someone who enjoys being out of doors as much as you could spend hours wandering the grounds of Pemberley. There is a stream and a small lake next to the house and verdant woods surrounding the whole place. It is peaceful and is a refuge for me from the cares of the world.”
Images of a beautiful house and delightful grounds filled Elizabeth’s mind as she contemplated what it must be like and how she would feel exploring new places and, perhaps, doing so with him.
“And do you live there quite alone?”
“My sister is there in the summer months, but she spends most of her time in London where she can enjoy the benefit of masters.”
Elizabeth noticed the proud look in his eye. It was obvious that he cared very deeply for his sister. Elizabeth wondered how the lives of her family would have been changed if they had such a loving, caring brother in their family. It was easy to feel envious of Miss Darcy until she recollected that her interest in Mr. Darcy was not fraternal, but something entirely different.
“She must be quite accomplished.”
“I am very proud of her, but she is shy and has been since the death of our father.”
“It must be difficult for you to be responsible for the education and development of a young woman at such a delicate time of life.”
“I can only do my best, and fortunately, Georgiana is patient with me. I fear that sometimes I overwhelm her, for she is quiet and will not always express her thoughts. I often feel she is trying to live up to expectations she believes I have for her, but she is everything I could want in a sister.”
“I am certain she loves you very much.” She added silently, for who could not? “And is London, then, your primary residence?”
Elizabeth realized all the impertinence of her question, but her mind and heart sought knowledge of Mr. Darcy for which her good manners could not answer.
“I consider Pemberley to be my home, and when I settle down, it will be the place to which I shall bring my wife.” He nervously cleared his throat.
She hesitated for a moment when he spoke of a future wife. Was that meant for her benefit? Did he know the desires of her heart?
“Do you not go to London for the season and all its gaieties?”
“When I am required to attend.”
“Required?”
“Required. I feel as though I am on display for all the mothers who seek a good match for their daughters. It appears that my only attraction is wealth and a good name.” Darcy exhaled and stared at the floor. “I wish . . . ”
There was a pause, and after each moment, Elizabeth expected that he would finish his thought. She realized that he was not going to continue speaking, but she was unwilling to let the subject drop.
“Mr. Darcy, for what do you wish?” She boldly reached out her hand to him and felt his fingers surround hers. She experienced the same closeness with him as she had the day they had spoken of their parents.
Darcy marveled at the softness of her skin and was pleased that she would make such an overture of affection.
“For what do I wish?” Looking up, he met her gaze. “The unexpected.”
During the ensuing silence, Elizabeth reflected on what he just told her. He caressed her fingers, and it took a moment for her to gather her thoughts.
“The unexpected,” she repeated, drowning in his intense gaze. “Is it really unexpected that you could be loved for who you are rather than what you own and where you live?”
Darcy knew he must go. He knew he could not spend another moment with her, or he would blurt out a proposal of marriage, one that he felt would be disastrous. It violated the principles by which his
father had raised him and would go against the expectations of his family.
He slowly raised her hand to his lips and gently kissed her fingers.
“You are too good.” He stood and slowly left the room.
* * * * *
ELIZABETH WAS NEARLY OVERWHELMED WITH emotion as she watched Darcy leave. The touch of his hand, the gentleness in his voice, and the meaning of his words all spoke of the deepest affection for her. It was sad that he believed that finding a woman who would love him was unexpected. She wished that she would be his choice. She knew she could be that woman, the one who would love him for who he was and for no other reason. It would be easy for her, for she already did.
* * * * *
Having submitted patiently to all of Mr. Manning’s recommendations for bed rest, Elizabeth found herself anxious to be outside again. Knowing that the gentlemen were away, she resolved on leaving the house for a short time.
Her maid was shocked when Elizabeth announced her intentions.
“Miss Elizabeth, please do not. Your head! Mr. Manning’s instructions! Think of your health. Please, Miss.”
“Nothing will be better for me than fresh air and exercise. I shall be gone for only a short while. You must help me.” She arose from the bed and began to dress.
“What if something were to happen to you? Please, let me bring you some tea or a glass of wine or a book, but please do not go out.”
“You have been such a help and a comfort to me, Anne, and I do not want you to be distressed on my behalf, but I must go out.” She could not remain indoors another minute. She had no complaints about Netherfield or the way in which she was being treated. Indeed, she was all gratitude, but only inclement weather normally kept her indoors, and it was so pleasant outside that she knew she must enjoy it, if only for a few minutes.
“Do you insist on this, Miss Elizabeth?”
“I do.”
Anne gave way to Elizabeth, though against her better judgment. “Very well, but do not stay away for long, I beg you. Where will you go? How shall I find you if you become ill?” Anne’s apprehension was growing.
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