by Heidi Swain
‘But surely it’s better to let a bit of land go, than lose the place completely,’ I said, trying to find a glimmer of silver lining. ‘At least you aren’t losing everything.’
Joe looked at me and shook his head and I wondered if there was more to the situation than he was prepared to let on.
‘You know, Tess,’ he said, neatly changing the subject, ‘I’m really sorry my brother’s dog almost pitched you off that cliff, but I’m ever so pleased we met.’
‘So am I,’ I agreed, laughing at how chilled he managed to make the near-death disaster sound.
‘Do you believe in fate?’ he sleepily yawned.
‘I didn’t used to,’ I swallowed, ‘but I’m beginning to now.’
‘Well, I think it’s fate that we met,’ he said. ‘You arriving in Wynmouth more or less the same time as me, was meant to be, I reckon.’
‘Do you now?’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Because you know exactly how difficult it is to try and work with family so I can talk to you, and I hope you know you can talk to me too.’
‘Of course.’
‘I daresay you’re fully acquainted with the divided loyalty and the guilt that comes with it,’ he said, yawning again.
‘And the perks,’ I cut in, reminding him how he had assumed I had extended my holiday on the back of being a ‘Daddy’s girl’.
‘I’m being serious,’ he said. ‘I think we might be soulmates, Tess. Maybe we met in another life?’
‘Maybe we’ve already met in this one,’ I said, throwing caution to the wind.
He didn’t answer and when I looked over at him, his eyes were closed and he was breathing evenly.
‘Wake up, Joe,’ I said, lightly shaking his shoulder a few minutes later. ‘We’re here.’
Had it not been for the full moon, the countryside around Wynmouth would have been pitch-black. Joe and I leant against the wall at the end of his drive and took a moment to admire the multitude of stars shining above our heads.
‘That’s the milky way,’ he said, competently pointing out the constellations, ‘and that’s the plough.’
‘How appropriate,’ I smiled, looking at where his finger was pointing. ‘Are you sure you’re going to be all right walking back on your own?’ The track behind us looked endless in the dark. ‘I could try and get the car down. I’m happy to give it a go.’
‘No,’ he insisted, ‘I’ll be fine. My phone’s got a decent torch and besides, I know it like the back of my hand. I won’t go twisting my ankle, if that’s what you’re worried about.’
‘I was actually thinking more about Black Shuck coming to get you,’ I said, giving a little shiver.
George had a definite fondness for telling the tale of the hound from hell and I felt myself shy away from looking out across the fields, for fear of seeing two red eyes staring back at me.
‘Oh, I shouldn’t worry about that,’ said Joe, moving to stand in front of me. ‘He’s probably down at the beach tearing backwards and forwards in search of that poor lost sailor soul.’
That was hardly a comforting thought. The beach was practically a stone’s throw from the cottage’s front door!
‘So, he might end up coming for me then,’ I said. ‘I’ve got to walk by there after I’ve parked the car behind the pub.’
‘I could always come back with you,’ said Joe, taking me by surprise as he stepped closer. ‘See you safely to your door.’
I leant further back against the wall, wondering if I was about to experience a repeat performance of that unforgettable first kiss. This wasn’t the end to the evening that I had envisaged, but I wasn’t going to object to the change of plan.
‘But then how would you get back?’ I breathed as Joe leant his body into mine and rested his hands on my waist.
His touch was gentle as was the feel of his breath against my neck as he bent to whisper in my ear.
‘Maybe you could run me back in the morning.’
His lips lightly brushed my collar bone.
‘But then—’ I began. I didn’t get the chance to finish before he covered his mouth with mine and kissed me deeply.
When he finally pulled away, I stood for a moment, breathless and dazed. My head spinning and my heart still doing that stupid skittering thing it had recently adopted, but not because I had been swept off my feet. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t an unpleasant kiss. It was really lovely, but my physical reactions were the result of surprise rather than red hot passion.
Joe dipped his head again and I ducked away.
‘I’d better be getting back,’ I swallowed.
‘Okay,’ he said, looking a bit baffled.
‘It’s been a great night though. I’ve had a brilliant time,’
‘Really?’ He frowned.
‘Really,’ I told him. ‘I haven’t kicked up my heels in ages.’
‘Me neither,’ he laughed. ‘And that kiss,’ he went on. ‘I didn’t overstep the mark, did I, Tess?’
‘Not at all,’ I said, keen to reassure him.
I had completely given him the green light to go ahead and it wasn’t his fault that I hadn’t felt what I expected to. But then it had been a very long time since our lips first locked. Perhaps our first kiss was something else from back in the day, that I had remembered wrongly. I had always deemed the experience as sacrosanct but perhaps it had been more run-of-the-mill. It was a shock to admit that, but obviously I couldn’t explain that to Joe because he hadn’t remembered it in the first place.
‘But you’d rather I didn’t do it again,’ Joe said, biting his lip.
‘No,’ I told him, ‘but not because I didn’t like it.’
‘What then?’
‘Well, I’m only going to be here for a few weeks, aren’t I?’ I pointed out. ‘And you’ve got all this stuff with Charlie and the farm to deal with. I don’t think either of us needs another complication in our lives right now, do we?’
‘It doesn’t have to be complicated.’
‘In theory, I agree,’ I told him, ‘but in practice, how often do these things stay simple?’
‘That’s true,’ he agreed, thankfully not sounding too put out. ‘So, what are you saying, Tess? That you want us to be just friends?’
I thought how I could do with a friend right now, especially since Hope was home and I didn’t feel able to pop into the pub and chat with Sam whenever I felt like it.
‘Given the amount we have in common,’ I nodded, ‘yes, I’d really value your friendship, Joe.’
I held out my hand and he shook it, before pulling me in for a platonic, but nonetheless pleasurable, hug.
‘Friends it is then,’ he agreed.
Chapter 14
I lay in bed the next morning while the sun crept over the horizon, filling the room with light and making the dust motes dance as I mulled everything over. Not only had I missed the signs that my parents’ marriage had hit the rocks, I’d also been rating snogs out of ten on the memory of a kiss that turned out to be unworthy of the pedestal I had placed it on. I was beginning to think that nothing from my past bore any resemblance to the fantasies I had spun around them.
Visions of Dad, Mum, the diary, my job, my first kiss, Sam, Hope, Joe and me, swam in front of me, making me feel dizzy, nauseous and more unsettled than I had been when I first arrived. I needed to get out and clear my head.
‘Well, don’t you look a sight,’ said Sophie when I walked into the café a short while later, hoisted myself up onto a stool and took off my sunglasses.
I winced as my eyes adjusted to the sharp change in light level.
‘Good night, was it?’ she questioned. ‘I’m guessing you were out partying somewhere.’
‘It’s not a hangover,’ I told her. ‘I didn’t drink because I was driving and I wasn’t all that late to bed either.’
‘You aren’t ill, are you?’ she demanded, scrutinizing me more intently, a concerned frown creasing her brow.
I shook my head, feeling touched
that she cared.
‘No,’ I said, ‘I’m not ill.’
‘So, what’s with the bags?’ she asked, her hands planted on her hips. ‘Couldn’t you sleep?’
‘No,’ I said, putting my glasses back on. ‘I hardly got a wink.’
When I had left the cottage, I hadn’t planned to come down to the café. I had been heading for the pub and one of Sam’s legendary sausage baguettes. I might have still been feeling a bit strange about seeing him for the first time since Joe had told me about the crash, not that I had really had any reason to, but I was in need of a hefty carb and protein packed hit. However, my cravings were destined to remain unsatisfied because the pub was shut.
‘Here,’ said Sophie, setting down a mug and reaching for the coffee pot. ‘This isn’t too strong, but it might perk you up a bit.’
‘Thank you,’ I said, inhaling deeply as I wrapped my hands around the mug as she poured. ‘I don’t suppose you’ve got the makings of a sausage sandwich on the premises, have you?’
‘No,’ she said, ‘but I can manage a bacon bap.’
‘That’ll do,’ I smiled, ‘thanks, Sophie. What’s happening at the pub? The board says it won’t be open today or tomorrow.’
‘So, I’m your second choice, am I?’ she teased. ‘Sam had no choice but to close,’ she carried on before I could explain. ‘He couldn’t get anyone to cover shifts. Him and Hope have gone away ahead of the final fitting for his new leg tomorrow. They said that the head start will save them the early morning drive.’
And give them an excuse for a night away in a hotel somewhere. I was relieved the pub closure wasn’t the result of bad news or anything, but I didn’t much welcome the thought of the pair taking a romantic break. Perhaps I hadn’t banished the feelings I had been developing for Sam quite as comprehensively as I had thought.
‘I would have covered for him,’ I said, making myself think kind thoughts instead of green-tinted ones, ‘I could have helped, just doing drinks if nothing else. It’s not as if the place is that busy.’
‘But you’re supposed to be here on your holidays,’ Sophie reminded me, ‘and besides you weren’t around to ask.’
That was true enough. I’d spent the best part of the last two days at the beach, out with Joe and nowhere near the pub.
‘Have you been having fun?’
‘Sort of,’ I said truthfully. ‘But it’s turning out to be the oddest holiday I’ve ever taken.’
The café bell rang out and Sophie was kept busy for a while preparing breakfasts, including mine, and serving customers. I ended up helping out by waiting tables as there was an influx of extra folk who had also found the pub closed.
‘Word has got out about the solstice party,’ Sophie told me when things died down again. ‘People are beginning to ask about the details and, I know just a little while ago I reminded you that you’re on holiday, but are you still happy to design the posters? We need to start advertising the event really.’
‘Yes,’ I said, ‘absolutely. I just need to finalize some details with you and Sam and then I’ll get them sorted.’
‘Excellent,’ said Sophie, ‘and you’re really sure you don’t mind doing it?’
‘I’m really sure,’
‘You can spare the time?’
‘Absolutely.’
‘Because none of us want to eat into your free time you know,’ said Sophie gently, ‘especially now you’ve . . .’
‘Especially now I’ve what?’ I cut in.
I got the impression I had been talked about and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
‘Now that you’ve made a friend elsewhere,’ she said softly.
‘Are you saying that because I’ve made a friend somewhere else, I can’t play with the ones I’ve already got?’
‘Don’t be silly,’ she said. ‘What I’m saying is, that the last thing any of us wants is for you to feel obliged to carry on helping when you’d rather be spending time . . . doing other things.’
‘I see.’
‘That said,’ she carried on, ‘I do think, that before you get too involved, there’s a couple of things you ought to know.’
‘I take it you are, in a roundabout sort of way, talking about Joe Upton,’ I said, just to be sure.
‘I am.’
‘Well, if it’s about the crash,’ I said bluntly, ‘I know everything already.’
‘From Joe?’ she asked.
‘Of course, from Joe,’ I told her, ‘so you don’t have to say any more about that particular business and I also know that he was a bit of a rebel, and,’ I added for good measure, ‘I’m also well aware that a few of the locals aren’t thrilled to see him back because of his bad-boy reputation. Not that now, as a fully-grown man, he has one of course.’
‘Right,’ she said. ‘I see.’
She was denied the opportunity to say anything further as more customers arrived, but I could tell she was bursting to.
‘Look,’ I said, once she had finished serving again, ‘Joe’s got more than enough on his plate right now without having to worry that folk are still talking about him and what happened in the past. Believe me, he isn’t back in Wynmouth to cause trouble.’
‘So, why is he back then?’ Sophie asked. ‘And why did he come to the pub? Sam’s not been the same since he showed up.’
‘Given that Sam was the one responsible for the crash,’ I pointed out, ‘that’s hardly surprising, is it?’
Sophie looked hurt by my words, but her protectiveness of Sam had glossed over certain unsavoury facts. He might have lost part of a leg that night, but the Upton family had lost a son and a brother. The fact that Joe was now back in Wynmouth, or for most of the time, just on the outskirts of it, was bound to rake a few things up, but there was no way of avoiding that.
‘Joe has come back,’ I said trying to diffuse the fuss, ‘to help Charlie. I think the farm is experiencing some difficulties and he’s here to help sort them out, that’s all.’
‘Ah.’
‘And,’ I went on, not that I should have felt obliged to explain further, but I did, ‘that’s one of the reasons we’ve become close.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘We both work with our families and we both know how difficult that can be.’
I wasn’t just explaining this for Sophie’s benefit. I was hoping that she would pass the information on to Sam and that he would realize my friendship with Joe was a result of shared experiences and a similar background, rather than picking a side over an old hurt.
‘Difficult?’ Sophie questioned.
‘Yes,’ I said, my face growing hot, ‘difficult. We haven’t all got a perfect family dynamic like the one you and Hope enjoy. Some of us struggle to work with our nearest and dearest.’
Sophie shook her head and sighed.
‘So, the farm’s in trouble, is it?’
‘Yes,’ I said, hoping I wasn’t speaking out of turn and that if she did tell Sam, then it wouldn’t go any further, ‘it is, and the last thing Joe needs is more local resentment. Not that I really understand why he’s facing any. Things are hard enough for him right now.’
‘I know you probably think we’re all wrong to be looking out for Sam,’ Sophie sighed, ‘but there was more happened the night of that crash than any of us really knows, Tess. There must have been.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, for a start, if it was all so cut and dried then Sam would have been arrested and charged, wouldn’t he?’
‘Yes,’ I agreed, because I couldn’t deny it, ‘I suppose he would . . .’
‘And he’s always been such a cautious and conscientious lad.’
Another customer arrived, cutting our conversation off again, but it didn’t stop me wondering if Sophie was right. Was there more to what happened than either Sam or Joe were prepared to admit? And if that was the case, would it ever be possible for either of them to truly leave the past behind and move on?
*
My
head was starting to spin again so I took myself off for a walk along the beach before heading to the cottage. I hadn’t been back all that long, when someone rapped sharply on the door.
‘Sophie,’ I said, surprised to see her. ‘What’s up?’
‘Well,’ she said, stepping inside as I opened the door wider to let her in. ‘I was thinking over our conversation while I was closing up and I wanted to come and apologize.’
‘Apologize,’ I frowned. ‘What for?’
‘For making you feel as though you had to tell me about your friendship with Joe for a start,’ she said, as we sat together on the sofa. ‘It was never my intention to pry, but there’s still so many loose ends to do with the crash that, whenever Joe Upton’s name is even mentioned, it sets us all on edge.’
‘I see.’
‘Sam’s grandmother was his last living relative,’ she went on, ‘and she died, leaving him the pub, just a few weeks after he came out of his coma. Being witness to the way he’s had to cope and the extent of what he’s been through, has perhaps made some of us a little too forthright in his defence.’
‘He’s obviously been through a lot,’ I conceded, ‘but then, so have the Uptons.’
‘That’s true.’
‘Thank goodness Sam has Hope,’ I said, thinking that at least he wasn’t entirely alone in the world.
Sophie’s face lit up.
‘Yes,’ she said, ‘they think the world of each other.’
That was more than obvious.
‘They’re very lucky,’ I nodded.
At least their relationship was one thing I had found in Wynmouth that was just as it appeared to be. I let out a long breath, thinking of my first kiss and wondering if I was in for any more memory-altering surprises during my stay.
‘That was a long sigh,’ Sophie commented. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘What makes you think anything’s wrong?’ I shrugged.
‘Let’s call it a mother’s intuition,’ she said, making me tear up a little. ‘Let me make us some tea and then you can tell me.’
She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze.
‘But only if you want to,’ she hastily added, making me smile.
*
‘Have you ever,’ I found myself asking, once we were settled with mugs of tea and a packet of Rich Tea biscuits, ‘discovered that something you wholeheartedly believed in, something you had total faith in, was a complete myth?’
