by Sara V. Zook
Lilah pushed her dark blonde hair behind her shoulders and kicked back a gulp of the cold beer. “I’m thinking of a new name for the shop.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“Cain Designs.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Cain? Not Cross?”
Lilah shrugged off her coat, revealing a loose sweater, leaving one shoulder bare as it hung off the side. “Seems like your name gives me a little boost around this city. Think I’m going to use it to my advantage.”
My mind shifted back to that Coppertop restaurant. Everyone had flocked around me, including that important male designer that Lilah was so enthralled with. The attention I’d received had shocked her, but it also turned her on. There was no mistaking that.
“Do you like it?” she asked. “Cain Designs?”
“I approve, babe.” I bent over to give her a quick peck on the lips. Our relationship was still too new for her to question too many things going on with me yet, including flirting with a girl in here. She’d been pissed but was quick to shake it off. I liked that about her. Lilah didn’t overanalyze. She wasn’t as possessive as some of the other girls in my past. Some of my exes would’ve just came straight over and clawed that Brittany girl’s eyes out. Not Lilah. She had too much class to do something like that.
“A shot for you, Nicky.” Another woman with a tray approached me. This one was a redhead with freckles covering her nose and cheeks. She picked up the shot glass to hand it to me. Completely ignoring Lilah, the redhead ran a hand through her hair and grinned as she watched me suck back the shot.
Lilah’s eyes turned fierce again, this time because the girl had disrespected her by not even acknowledging her presence. Shit. Maybe I was wrong about Lilah clawing someone’s eyes out. I could see the side of her jaw clenching in tension as if wanting to lash out. It took all I had not to laugh. She was so sexy looking all pissed off.
“Thanks,” I told the girl.
“Anytime,” the redhead responded before prancing off again.
“Nicky, can I have a minute?” Seton asked, his eyes moving to Lilah.
“Yeah.” I could hear Lilah huff out a sigh of frustration as I followed Seton across the room behind the speakers where we could talk more privately.
“I’m having some concerns about security issues,” Seton told me. His tone of voice seemed a little more relaxed than I was used to it being. Maybe he was just wasted already.
“I know, man. I’m working on it,” I told him, not trying to hide the annoyance in my voice.
Seton frowned. “I hate to say that we need more men, but our numbers are low. It worked for a while, but…”
“Yeah, I know. One of our numbers killed Carmine.”
Seton stared at me for a moment. He hadn’t thought I knew that? We hadn’t discussed it yet, but I didn’t suspect him. He was a ruthless bastard, but loyalty was not something he struggled with.
“I’ll figure it out, Seton,” I assured him. “I have a lot of shit to figure out.”
Was that sympathy I saw in his eyes? If it had been there, it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared. “I have some possible prospects in mind.”
“Listen,” I told him, the paranoia creeping up on me again, “Don’t be asking the other guys about prospects.”
“I know who to trust and who not to.”
“How about cluing me in then on who it is you don’t trust?”
Seton stared at me for a few seconds.
“You’ve been around way longer than me, Seton,” I added.
“I don’t really want to be having this conversation right now. I’m fucking drunk,” Seton admitted. “And this is too heavy of a conversation for me right now. But if you want to know my deepest, darkest thoughts…” He smirked. I didn’t think this at all funny. “I honestly can’t figure this shit out. I know it seems like it has to be an insider, but when I look around me, at all the guys, after all we’ve been through, I can’t see any of them being a traitor. So there you have it, Nicky. I don’t fucking know who it is.”
“Thanks for enlightening me.” I ran my hand through my hair. Where were my cigs?
“Sorry, man. Wish I knew. I really do.”
“I’m serious about keeping the whole prospect thing between us.” I tried to give Seton a hard look, but really, his heart was as black as his soul. There was no coercing the devil himself. This is what Carmine loved about Seton. He had no qualms about killing if the task needed done. He didn’t think about it later. It was done and in the past. For myself, I could only hope that someday my sins wouldn’t creep up and suffocate me. There were only so many hours in the day that you could consume with keeping yourself busy. The nighttime is when your inner most thoughts become unleashed, terrorizing you with the things you’ve done. “We’ll talk more about it later.”
Seton nodded, then reached out and grabbed one of the groupies, pulling her into him as she yelped.
I pulled out a cigarette. Now where was that lighter?
“Hey, sugar.”
I looked up at Lola.
She laughed. “Need a light?”
I put the cigarette between my lips and moved closer so she could light the thing. “Thanks.”
Lola rested her hand on my arm. Every finger was covered in gaudy gold rings, some of them having two rings on them. “How are you doing, Nicky?” Lola asked, her voice turning soft—sultry even.
The women here tonight were relentless. Lola was Remmy’s wife for god’s sake. She walked around like queen groupie slut, though. If I was Remmy, I wouldn’t be putting up with this kind of shit. Then again, if I was Remmy, I would’ve found myself a better looking old lady, one with more class, one exactly like…
“Nicky,” Lilah said, pulling my arm away from Lola’s hold and turning my entire body to face her.
Lilah—my jealous savior. I could barely stomach Lola from far away, let alone up close. How did Remmy sleep next to that woman every night? Puke.
Lilah ran her hands across the top of my chest.
“Lilah,” Lola acknowledged her. “How are you?”
Lilah gave her her best fake sweet smile. “Nice to see you again, Lola.”
I took a hit of my cigarette and glanced around the room. People were everywhere. A giant mass of drunken grinding, booze, and smoke. Lola was still standing too close. Lilah’s arms were wrapped around my waist. It felt like the walls were starting to close in on me. All of this was too much right now.
Fuck.
I unraveled Lilah from around my body. She gave me a stunned look. “Sorry, baby. I need some air.”
“Do you want me to come?” she asked.
“I need some alone time with my thoughts.” And I was gone and out the door without looking back to see how else my words had affected Lilah.
It was a relief to find out no one else was outside except me. I sat down on the bench and stared out into the darkness as the rumble of the music continued inside. This had been the spot where I’d sat and contemplated my first kill—the one Seton had forced upon me. I killed Lilah’s husband. I killed Christopher Herson. Were the tallies only going to increase? Probably.
I scratched at my forehead. The beginning of a migraine was right under the surface. How drastically my life had changed. And now the stress was fucking me up. Chicks trying to lay their claim on me. Even Lilah acting like that was a little unnerving. Whatever suspicions she had about me and my lifestyle, one thing was apparent. When I was worried that telling her might drive her away, it seemed as though it was only driving her toward me, but now I was afraid it was going to turn her into one of those psycho women who always worried about who had sunk their claws into me now. She shouldn’t attend parties like these. It would only mess with her head. But I had brought her into my life, hadn’t I? There was no turning back. Normalcy was not going to happen for either one of us now, not unless she left me and didn’t turn back. Yet here she was talking about naming her dream store after me. Me. Uh, the pounding in my head
raged on.
Carmine’s killer was inside that mansion. But who was it? Everything in my gut pointed to Hagan. He was a sleazeball as it was. I remembered well the jealousy and anger I saw in his eyes when it was revealed to him that I was Carmine’s son. I could see him thinking that if he got Carmine out of the way, maybe he’d be the one to take over. Or maybe it was the grudge against Carmine that he hadn’t been part of the African diamond deal. That was another instance when I saw a greedy side to Hagan. Hagan didn’t exactly like being told what to do. But was he smart enough to cover up his tracks or not even speak a word of killing Carmine to anyone? He was sort of a loud mouth, especially when drinking.
It was too much to sort out right now. I didn’t feel like being here celebrating. What the fuck was there to celebrate anyway? I didn’t want to deal with anymore shit. I didn’t want any of the guys to pull me into private conversation and ask me what my plans were. I didn’t want some groupie flirting with me and Lilah getting her panties in a bunch. All I wanted to do was be a recluse right now and even attempt to get some sleep.
Fuck it.
I stood up and reached inside my pocket for my car keys. Pressing the unlock button, the headlights came to life on my black sports car. I opened the door and climbed inside. I wasn’t going to worry about any more of this right now. I needed some ibuprofen and a bed. I would deal with it all tomorrow.
FOUR
CROSS
I need some alone time with my thoughts…
Nicky’s words echoed in my mind as I stood there waiting, but waiting for what? For him to come back in? For him to come in and start making out with me in front of everyone so that all these dumb skanks would know he belonged to me? What was happening to me? When did I turn into such a jealous girlfriend? The moment I saw that young girl pressed into his side, that’s when. Nicky was gorgeous in a bad boy ripped tattoo sort of way that just lured these girls in. I hadn’t meant to be so…clingy, but it was hard to control my emotions when they had gone so haywire seeing another girl by his side. And then Lola…words couldn’t describe what I thought about her. She was a real piece of work, and I saw the way she looked at Nicky. There was pure lust in her eyes.
“So what’s it like being with him?” Lola asked me.
She was still freaking standing beside me smelling like she tried to drown herself in some cheap perfume that was so awful, so strong, it made my nose tickle and a sick feeling stir in my stomach. “Hmm?” I had no idea what the hell she was talking about.
Lola grinned, revealing the bottom portion of one of her front teeth to be discolored to a gross yellowish-brown. “You know, is he hard to tame?” She dipped her finger inside her glass of liquor and stirred.
How to answer this woman without sounding like a total bitch? She wanted Nicky. Anyone could tell—even her scrawny, poor husband over there hidden in the corner pretending like he didn’t see. I felt bad for Remmy. It almost seemed to me like maybe he was so skinny because of Lola—like maybe she ate all of her dinner, finished off all of his dinner too and didn’t leave any for him. Inconsiderate bitch.
“I can just imagine how he is in bed…a total wild man I bet. Am I right?”
I glared at her, but she didn’t seem to notice. She was too busy off in her own la-la land fantasizing about my boyfriend. “Probably not as wild as Remmy,” I replied dryly.
That broke Lola away from her disgusting trance. She gave me a bewildered look for a moment as if Remmy had just walked in on her and Nicky doing it. Then a small smile crossed her face. I thought she was going to start fanning herself in front of me.
I gagged a little. I was pretty sure I just threw up in my mouth. I had to get away from her.
I scanned the large, open room. Girls dressed in practically nothing were hanging all over these guys. These weren’t going to be my new BFFs. I had nothing in common with these girls. I doubted they could even hold a conversation. There was no way I could stomach being in here for another second with all of these skanks.
My heels clicked over the hard floor as I made my way to the front door. I stepped outside expecting to see Nicky there smoking a cigarette. A few girls huddled together talking turned to look at me. They looked like they were freezing. No wonder. Their asses were practically hanging out.
In further annoyance, I searched the darkness for Nicky hiding out somewhere. I thought I’d see the glow of an orange cigarette butt floating in the distance, but no. He just wasn’t here. Walking over to where his car was parked, I saw it was gone.
“Son of a bitch,” I said aloud, putting my hands on my hips. He left. He actually left. A sickening pang hit me right in the gut. I had just been ditched by Nicky Cain. I had had Victoria drop me off here, and now I was stuck.
I could call him…
No. I refused. I was not going to beg him to come pick me up when he knew damn well I didn’t have a car here. I was so pissed.
The front door of the building burst open and out came one of the Triplets. I had no idea which one. I couldn’t tell them apart. Even if I could tell them apart, I wouldn’t know what to call them as individuals.
He came walking my way, his massive arms at his sides. Even in the dark, I could see the dumbfounded look on his face as he almost ran into me, as if he hadn’t even seen me standing there. It was dark, yes, but there were lights on around the property outside.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
“It’s okay.” I watched him dart around me and go to a car that I assumed belonged to him. I kept staring at him as he fumbled around in his pocket for the keys. Then his eyes met mine.
“I’m going to town. Need a ride?” he asked.
Why yes, it just so happens that I do. “Can you drop me off at home—I mean Nicky’s?” I frowned at how I’d corrected myself. Nicky’s was my home.
“Yeah.” With that, he got inside the driver’s side.
I walked over the rest of the way and climbed in. It was a large, spacious sedan, yet the Triplet looked packed in like a sardine. The top of his head touched the roof, and he was all hunched over as if trying to keep his knees from running into the steering wheel.
He fired up the vehicle and maneuvered his way through the parked cars to get out of the driveway.
“So…” I said. I’d never spoken to one of the Triplets before. It was pretty obvious they were all muscle and no brain. “You know where Nicky lives?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you live around here?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you live with your brothers?”
“Yeah.”
Okay then…
So much for making conversation. I just remained facing forward looking out at the road, hoping that I hadn’t made a mistake in getting in the car with this guy, that he wasn’t trashed or anything.
Turning the corner onto Nicky’s street, the Triplet swerved as he almost hit a parked car. I grabbed hold of the handle of my door, my heart rate increasing rapidly. Then it happened again. Our vehicle almost side-swiped another parked car along the side of the road.
Was this guy drunk or even more of a moron than I’d assumed? He didn’t seem intoxicated…
And he didn’t say anything, either, as if almost hitting parked cars was something that happened every day. Probably did.
I was relieved when we finally came to a halt in Nicky’s driveway. I put my hand over my chest to try to calm the anxiety the Triplet had just given me.
“Thanks for the ride,” I told him, opening up the door.
“Yeah,” he replied in the same monotone voice he always had.
I slammed the door shut and headed to the front door. I didn’t even know if Nicky was home, but lights were glowing from within.
Stepping inside, I removed my coat and tossed it over the back of a chair. He wasn’t in the living room, so I removed my heels and began the ascent up the staircase to his room. That’s where I found Nicky face down in a pillow, passed out while still wearing all of his clothes.
/> “Stupid drunk,” I hissed under my breath. I didn’t care if he was passed out, I was confronting him right now. There was no way I could go to sleep with all this pent up tension inside of me. I wanted to lash out at him. I hadn’t done that before, and right now, I felt he deserved it. He couldn’t treat me like this. How dare he treat me like this! Rage filled me—rage I hadn’t felt since…Mark. “Get up, Nicky,” I said loudly.
He didn’t make a peep.
I tried to turn him over on his back. Geez, he was heavy. I managed to get him up on his side, but his eyes were still closed. I could smell the liquor on his breath. What’d he do? Come back home and suck down a bottle of whiskey?
“Nicky…” I shook him harder.
He groaned, but his eyelids never even fluttered.
My frustration growing, I pulled back my hand and slapped him across the face. Red marks where my fingers had grazed his cheek formed on his skin, but again, Nicky didn’t budge. He probably couldn’t even feel his face.
I jumped off the bed and stomped into the bathroom. I turned the water on cold and let it run for a few minutes before filling a cup to the brim. It was dripping all over the place as I angrily carried it over to Nicky, and without even second-thinking it, I threw the entire cup of water on his face. Then a high-pitched squeal left my throat as Nicky came to life, fiercely grabbed hold of my wrists, and flipped me onto my back. He stared down at me, his face and hair dripping down onto me, a fire lit in his dark eyes as though he were about to strangle me.
“What the fuck?” he managed to get out, his grip tightening on my wrists.
I struggled underneath him. “Get off me, Nicky!”
As if suddenly recognizing me, he loosened his hold and then let go altogether. He gritted his teeth as he wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “You poured water on me?”
I sat up and hurried to move away from the huge wet spot on the bed. “Yeah, Nicky, I did.”
