by Sara V. Zook
I slowly stood, bracing my hands against the edge of the table as I looked over all of these men—my men. “The alcohol is flowing downstairs. I’m sure there are girls waiting to knock down the door by now. Go party and show these three men what it’s like to be a part of us.” The guys got up to leave, their moods instantly improving. “Hagan,” I said as he, too, stood, “A word.”
He now had a defeated look to him as the side of his face swelled.
“You make me sick,” I told him. “You think you’re on some sort of power trip or something?”
“No, Nicky, but I think you are,” he snapped.
I knew my gun was secure at my waist. I thought about killing him and getting it over with right now, but I had to have some self-control—that and I didn’t want to make a mess all over the place. “This isn’t a power trip you’re seeing,” I replied. “This is me taking control of this group, keeping everyone together, but if I need to get rid of the riffraff, I will,” I threatened him. “I don’t owe an explanation to anyone, and I’m not about to give you one now. You don’t deserve one. But I’m going to tell you this one time and one time only. This is the way things are. I’m Carmine’s blood—not you. I am head of this crew—not you. I will run things the way I see fit, and you will keep your fucking mouth shut and do what I say or pay the consequences. Believe me, Hagan, I know you saw a scared boy a little while ago, but I’ve changed, and I won’t hesitate to get rid of you if you open your mouth again. Learn to hold your fucking tongue or I’ll cut it out for you.”
Hagan glared at me but didn’t say anything more.
“Today I tolerated your bullshit, but tomorrow and the days following, I won’t. Do you understand what I’m telling you, Hagan?”
His eyes shifted to the floor.
“Well?” I asked.
He looked up at me then and nodded.
“I want to fucking hear it.”
“Yeah, I heard you, Nicky.”
“Good. Now get out of here before you get any more blood on my floor.”
I settled in front of the window, staring out over the city of Haven as the lights lit up the darkness in the distance. I was sure the music was thumping underneath me, but Carmine had ensured that the parties wouldn’t disturb him. Everything was sound proof. I was hoping I’d set Hagan straight, that he wouldn’t pull something so stupid as to embarrass me like that again. Then again, maybe him throwing a fit like that showed the new guys what happened to those that attempted such a thing. I didn’t think I’d have any problems with Brock or Ham. I’d spoken to both of them independently, and they seemed all right. They both had had rough backgrounds growing up but were strong mentally. They were in need of a steady income, a place to call their own. Being a part of the mob was the place where they’d find that. It’s where I’d found it.
I put my hands together behind my back and peered out into the world before me, thinking about how I’d looked up at this window and saw Carmine standing there in the very same position. I’d had no clue he was my father then. His quietness had frightened me. The whole idea of being involved in such a group had scared me. Certain parts of the involvement still did that to me now, but I was able to put on my big boy pants and fake the shit out of what I was feeling anymore. Fear was not something I could show—not anymore. Fear would be interpreted as weak. I had an image I wanted to uphold from the beginning, and so far, I thought my persona was a success.
The door behind me opened and closed.
“There you are.”
Lilah was home.
“There’s a party going on downstairs, you know.”
“I know.” I was still facing the window as she came up from behind me and slipped her arms around my waist. God, that perfume of hers.
“I figured you’d be there.” She sighed into my back as she pressed her chin against me. “How was your day?”
“Really good,” I told her. “Yours?”
“It was good, but I missed you.”
“Did you?” I reached for her and brought her in front of me so that we were both looking out the huge window. “I missed you, too.”
Lilah leaned her head back against my chest as if she just now totally relaxed, just by being in my arms. “Nicky…”
“Yeah?”
“You know I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”
“About?”
“Stan.”
I pressed my nose into her hair and inhaled deeply. My mind wasn’t on Stan. It was on this moment right here. It was on the sentiment of us positioned just like this looking out at the city that I now owned. A king and queen relishing in what was rightfully theirs. It was beautiful and sad knowing that Carmine had died for me to get here, knowing my parents had stayed separated to protect me from a life that I had inherited nevertheless. My mother had deserved a life like this with the man she loved, with Carmine. My heart ached for her. She had been the best woman I’d known. Lilah had been there for me in my dark moment of seeing her die. Lilah had witnessed me coming apart at the seams and sobbing like a baby. I was determined to prove to Lilah that she could belong to this life and be protected from it too. I wanted her to feel secure with me. I would kill anyone who attempted to hurt her.
“I’ve told you, it’s for your protection, babe,” I whispered into her hair.
“I don’t want a babysitter, Nicky.”
“He’s not there to watch you, baby. There are other people out there that I don’t want to get close to you. He won’t be there all the time, but I need you to trust me on this. If anything ever happened to you…” I hesitated for a moment. “I’d completely lose my shit, Lilah. I don’t even want to think about it. I trust Stan.”
“He’s an annoying pest.”
I laughed. “Yeah, he can be.”
“He chews like a pig.”
“What?” I laughed again.
“I want a better-looking bodyguard, Nicky. I think I should hand choose him.”
“Ha. Like that’s ever going to happen. If I got jealous of him, I’d probably kill him, you know.”
Lilah grinned and turned around to me then. “Does it have to be Stan?”
I nodded, rubbing my nose against hers. “He’s always had my back. He’ll protect you when I can’t be there.”
She sighed then as if letting the subject drop. “Fine.”
“Do you see all that?” I asked her, pointing out to Haven.
“It’s beautiful. You can see everything from up here,” she commented.
“Right. That’s Haven, baby. Haven belongs to you and me now.”
Lilah remained quiet as she peered out, processing everything I was telling her.
“I’m going to give you more than just Haven though. I’m going to give you the whole fucking world, baby.” I pressed up against her back, her tight skirt rubbing against me. “Tell me what you’re thinking, Lilah. I need to know.”
She reached up and put her arms around my neck. She then turned her head and sucked in my bottom lip, kissing me deeply. Then she whispered, “I think that I’m the luckiest woman alive. I’m so grateful that we’ve found each other, Nicky.”
I scooped her up in my arms. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”
EIGHT
CROSS
Things were going well—too well. Things had gone bad for so long it was as if having this much at my fingertips was deemed to be doomed eventually. I hated that I was thinking that way, but it was difficult not to. I was Senator Humphrey’s daughter. At one time, I’d had everything with him, and then my mother had died followed by a step-mother sent straight from Satan himself. Mark had given me hope. Then my father disowned me because he despised my husband. My entire life—one big yo-yo of a ride.
Cain Designs was open for business. Opening day had been an enormous success. The place had been packed, and the media was still giving me a lot of attention, not that I minded. Attention equaled more sales. Sales proved that my boutique could handle itself. I honestly just wanted to make N
icky proud. He had been there for me on opening day, standing by my side with a smile on his face as cameras flashed our way. He was extremely supportive. I’d even managed to hire two new girls as part of my staff so I didn’t have to be there all the time. Hopefully I’d be able to hire more in the future.
My spirits were high. I took a deep breath of New York air as I walked briskly on a sidewalk in Haven. So this is what it felt like to be on top of the world. I shoved my hands in my long brown coat pockets and continued a steady pace. I was going to grab some coffee at my favorite place before opening up the boutique for the day.
The sides of the street were already crowded with people on their way to work. I loved the busyness of the City, the brisk, cold air going into my nostrils as I walked. I put my head down for a moment as a chilly blast of wind whipped around me as I tucked my hands even further down into my pockets.
“Lilah? Lilah Cross?”
At the mention of my name, my head shot up. Mere inches in front of me stood Robert Simeon. He was looking even more handsome than the last time I saw him and he wore casual clothes of jeans, and a white dress shirt covered by a tan jacket. He smiled as if giving me a moment to recall who he was. I would never forget a face like that.
“Robert, hi,” I breathed out, giving him a return smile. “Business downtown again?”
His eyes looked me up and down just as they’d done before. Again, I was sure I turned crimson. It annoyed me that he had that effect on me, and it was almost too cold to stop and make small talk.
“Something like that,” he replied. “Where you headed?”
I pointed just up the block. “Coffee shop.”
He nodded as if in complete understanding. “I could use some of that, too. Can I walk you there?”
“Yeah, sure.”
We walked side by side. I was too intensely aware of his presence beside me. I also knew who was sure to be behind me—Stan.
Robert opened the door to the coffee shop. Immediately I was greeted with warm air and the fragrant smell of caffeine at its finest.
“How did opening day go for Cain Designs?” Robert asked.
“Wow,” I said.
He cocked his head to the side. “What?”
I gave him a small smile. “You remembered the name of my store.”
“Of course. How could I forget? I can’t wait to get some time to shop there.”
Robert Simeon was a nice man. I couldn’t tell if he was just this friendly or trying to flirt with me. He probably was just a friendly guy, I decided, after giving it a moment to bounce back and forth in my brain. A friendly guy who liked expensive suits.
“Opening day was…great.” I removed my hands from my pockets as they were now beginning to thaw. “And every day after that has been just as great. I’m very happy with the location and the customers I’ve been getting in there.”
“I’m very glad to hear that.” Robert’s eyes lingered on mine as half of his mouth curled up into a wicked grin.
I looked away as the door behind us swung open. In strolled Stan along with another wintery blast of frosty air. He walked up to me and immediately eyed up Robert. I was sure they recognized each other.
“What’s going on here?” Stan asked as he removed his hat, revealing unkempt hair underneath.
“Nothing,” I snapped. “We’re getting coffee.”
“Did you tell him to meet you here?” Stan asked, gesturing toward Robert.
I glared at Nicky’s cousin. Disrespectful little pest he was. “We just ran into each other outside, not that it’s any concern of yours,” I hissed his way.
“Oh, it is my concern, Lilah. You’re my concern.”
Stan acted like he owned me. I had to have another talk with Nicky about this shit. This was ridiculous. I couldn’t even have a conversation with someone without him interfering.
“Go away, Stan,” I screamed at a whisper.
“No can do.” He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.
“Asshole,” I mumbled. “Go outside.”
“Too cold.”
“Then go stand across the room. I don’t care where, just give me some space.” I hadn’t been facing Robert this whole time, but somehow I figured he’d heard every little tidbit of what was just said between me and my loathed shadow. I could only imagine what he must be thinking. It seemed like I was always bound to make a complete idiot of myself in front of Robert.
Stan’s eyes moved from me to Robert and then finally rested on me again. “Fine.”
I watched him move through the crowded little café before finally getting enough courage to turn back around and face Robert.
“Everything okay?” he asked, one of his eyebrows raised as he glanced at Stan who was keeping an eye on me from the other side of the room.
I sighed. “No. I mean…yes.” A growling noise escaped my throat due to my frustration.
Robert’s hand moved to my shoulder. “Who is he, Lilah? Do I need to take care of him for you?”
“Take care of him?” I asked.
Those piercing blue eyes of his studied me for a moment. “Yeah. You know, like kick his ass or something?” He smirked.
“Oh.” I exhaled loudly. Take care of to me would mean get rid of, kill, end existence—at least that’s what it would mean had I heard it come from Nicky’s mouth. “No, no. He’s my…bodyguard.”
Robert’s eyebrow arched even higher.
I didn’t know what to say.
“Is someone trying to hurt you?”
I shook my head back and forth. “No, nothing like that.” I let out a small fake laugh. I decided just to change the subject and fluff off the bodyguard thing. “Should we get in line?”
He gestured for me to go in front of him.
Such a gentleman.
Robert’s hand brushed against mine as he brought it up to his face. I smiled at him awkwardly.
“Lilah?”
I turned to face him at the same time I stepped forward to move up in line. “Hmm?”
Robert’s face grew serious then. He glanced in the direction of Stan and then back at me. He leaned in close to my ear and whispered, “I think you’re very beautiful. Can I take you out sometime?”
God, he was handsome. But the moment I thought things like that, the guilt crept right in. Nicky. Nicky Cain. My boyfriend Nicky Cain. The freaking head of the mob Nicky Cain, who was equally as handsome and even more so frightening than the man standing by my side.
I swept back the tiny hairs that the wind had unraveled and pressed my lips together, giving Robert a small smile. My eyes also wandered over to Stan who was staring directly back at me. So he was flirting with me. “Robert,” I began, “I’m flattered. Truly flattered. I really am, but I can’t.”
Robert’s light brown eyebrows drew together. “Give me a good reason why not.”
“You’re a very attractive man…”
“But?” He looked down, then back up. “I’m not seeing a ring. Are you married?”
My left thumb touched my empty ring finger. For so many years, I had worn the cheap wedding band given to me by Mark. I’d thrown it in the trash the night Nicky had shot and killed him. I hadn’t realized until this very moment how naked that particular finger felt. I shook the feeling off.
I shook my head as we neared the front of the line. “No, I’m not married.” More like widowed and fucking the man who killed him.
“Women don’t usually say no to me, Lilah.” A grin spread out over his face. “Then again, there aren’t many women I ask out. Very few actually.”
My breathing quickened knowing how true those words probably were. This man did have a demeanor about him, one that drew me in. I bit my bottom lip—hard.
“I’m not going to give up, you know.” His mouth curled up into a half smile that had me darting my eyes away. They glanced back at Stan, then to the front of the line. I could at least pretend to be interested in looking at something other than Robert Simeon.
I s
ighed then. “I am with someone, Robert.”
“Who?”
“Nicky Cain,” I blurted out, looking his way to see what kind of reaction he’d have. To my surprise, he didn’t even flinch, his facial expression never altering one bit.
“Never heard of him.”
I almost laughed. What? Who in Haven hadn’t heard of Nicky?
“What’s he do? Who is he?”
I shook my head again as the woman behind the cash register asked me what I wanted to order. “Cappuccino for me please.” I began searching through my purse for some change.
Robert put his hand on top of mine, stopping me. “I got it.”
He placed his order and the woman shuffled us down to the end of the counter to retrieve our orders.
“Thank you.”
“So?” He raised his eyebrows again. “Who is this Nicky Cain you’re with?”
We were closer to Stan now—within hearing distance which drove me nuts.
“Someone you don’t want to mess with,” I told him matter-of-factly.
“That’s a funny thing to say,” he remarked.
Shrugging, I wrapped my cold fingers around the warm to-go cup. “It’s the truth though.”
He exhaled deeply before leaning in close to my ear once again, his breath warm against my chilled skin. “I don’t intimidate easily. I’m not afraid of anyone.”
The way he had emphasized his words, his tone being almost…malicious…made goose bumps rise up on my arms.
“Time to go, Lilah.” Stan walked over to me as he stared down Robert who didn’t seem the least bit fazed. “I’m bored with this.”
I was about ready to snap at Stan when I realized I needed to get away from Robert and the conversation we were having.
“You two seem a little overly chummy for my liking.”
“Chummy?” Robert repeated, his eyes finding mine. “Did he really say that?”
“I think so,” I mumbled, irritated with this entire situation. “Thanks for the coffee, Robert. We’ll catch up some other time.”
