Days before the funeral the Sheriff had come to ask about what I wanted to do with their car, I had panicked and told him to put it in the barn. Not sure why I had it brought here, I will never go view it. I will never need a reminder of the loss of my beloved parents.
I am thirty years old and I feel as if I am an orphan. With my parents gone and my brother desertion I know I have to face the truth, I will never find a man I love more than Archibald.
Today I told him how deeply my love for him is. And even on this heart breaking day, I received the happiest request of my life. My Archibald asked me to marry him.
With tears in her eyes Stephanie turns the page noticing this entry is long she settles deeper on couch then begins reading.
March 12th Dear Diary, Yesterday I became Mrs. Archibald Butterworth!!!!! We had a beautiful ceremony. We stood in front of the fireplace and said our vows. We looked into each other’s eyes and pledged our love forever. The words written in the Bible became our promise. Archibald kissed me with a feather light touch; ending the ceremony traditionally.
Only here can I speak of our wedding night. How I wish I could tell the world about the enchanted wonderment of his love making.
Resting the diary on her lap, Stephanie feels torn. Does she read this part or allow Della her privacy? Gazing up at the portrait Stephanie can feel the approval from Della. Noticing the twinkle in Della’s eyes Stephanie tries to remember if it was there before. Dismissing the image as wishful thinking, she lifts Della’s diary and continues reading.
My husband is a romantic. This became apparent at bedtime, he asked me as I was getting ready for bed if I would come to bed without my night gown. I am thirty years old and actually blushed like a school girl. But for Archibald I did as he asked. As I was in bed waiting, I felt like a real bride waiting for her husband.
I was nervous when Archibald appeared beside my bed, knowing under the covers I had pulled to my chin, I was naked as the day I was born. Having turned the lights off, the only light in the room was from the moonlight through the window. I could still see his eyes watching me as I waited wondering.
With eyes filled with love and passion, he asked me to trust him. Unable to speak I nod yes, then he asked me to remove the covers; he wanted to look upon me. Slowly I slid the covers to the side, exposing my body for him. As desire consumes him, I see it shine through his eyes, my embarrassment subside.
Wishing I could feel his touch, have him make me his wife in every sense of the word, I jumped when his hand touches my breast. His feather light touch, feels like a cool breeze shimming over my body. The sensation of his touch makes my desire grow. Knowing we cannot consummate our marriage I am shocked by the feelings Archibald was creating in me.
He touched and kissed me for hours, with the lightest of touches and the whisper of his kiss, he had me begging for more. I felt as if he had touched and kissed every inch of my body. I was on fire, my whole body sweating. It was at that moment I felt his touch at the core of my passion. As my body shakes with release I heard his husky laugh.
The knowledge that Archibald had allowed me to experience a real wedding night will always be a precious memory for me. One I will cherish forever.
Finished with this entry, Stephanie regards Della again. The realization of the deep love Della and Archie shared, knowing they had not allowed anything to stand in their way has Stephanie feeling envy for them. Admitting to herself she wants that kind of devotion for her and Chase.
Shaking her head to clear it, she turns the page.
June 5th
Dear Diary, Today we had our first argument. Totally my fault. Bless Archibald he must think I have lost my mind. I found a gray hair today while I was braiding my hair. Knowing my Archibald will not age, however I on the other hand will grow old and ugly, I panicked. He tried to assure me he will always love me. But my mind had already convinced me he would grow to hate being with me so I told him to stop lying. This was a major blow to his pride.
My husband a man of honor would never lie to me, I know this. So I put my own pride aside and went to him, I begged him to forgive me. With the sweetness I have known from him, he informed me he had already forgiven me.
June 8th
Dear Diary, I just want to make this clear to myself; I can’t believe my husband has lied to me. Something I never would have thought he would do. In fact, he is still lying to me.
But this lie I will allow, I will permit him to think I truly believe.
Confused Stephanie glances at the portrait and then back down at the book. My wonderful husband told me today he is aging. I know he is doing this to make me feel better, so that is why I am tolerating this lie. The things Archibald does for me make my love grow stronger each and every day. He knows my fear of growing old while he stays young looking is still upsetting to me. So with his remarkable desire to keep me happy he is making the illusion of aging.
We spoke of him one day leaving, how we would deal with it when we were forced too. We shared our fears as we laid in bed last night after another treasured love session. Archibald told me we would never again search for a way for him to leave.
The thought of him leaving and us never being together had me crying. With a tenderness I have grown so accustomed to from Archibald, his feather light touch held me all night.
June 19th
Dear Diary, I have not written for a very long time. I have no excuse for the years not documented. My Mother had given this diary to me on my 18th birthday. Told me with pride how each woman in her family had kept records of the events, visitors and important thoughts.
Looking back on my life up to this point, I find my recording are mostly of my time with Archibald. Therefore, the only person needing to read this is me.
I am writing today after nearly 20 years to record the death of my brother. I received a phone call from his wife early this morning. She explained he had died in his sleep. The doctors informed her he had a bad heart; she says she hadn’t known this.
Having not seen or heard from Markus for years, I find I am unable to morn his passing. he cut himself off from us. The only time he had contacted our parents was the birth of his son. The message he sent when our parents died could have been from a stranger.
He hadn’t check on my wellbeing, hadn’t cared enough to contact me in years. I will not be going to his funeral, I find myself not caring enough to travel to a memorial service for a man I don’t know.
I was trying to remember Markus before he left when I was 16 years old. The memories have faded; the passing of 34 years will do that. Sadness for lost family overwhelmed me. I feel I was an only child, when he left
No visits, no letters, no phone calls. August 30th Dear Diary,
I had a visitor today, my nephew Markus Jr. He told me he goes by MJ. He is 20 years old, and looks like his Father. I only know this due to he showed me pictures. It has been 2 years since the passing of his Father; I asked why he was visiting me now.
He told me his Mother had passed away six months ago; he was packing up their belongings and came across the information about me. He just wanted to meet me and he had an envelope he said had my name on it. He told of his older brother dying at the age of two from a high fever and how his parents had him late in life. He stayed for a couple of hours then said he had to leave as he had to work tomorrow. As he left he said he would visit a much as he could and he wrote his phone number on the envelope.
I felt sorrow for the loss my brother had with the death of his child. Not sure how anyone can ever recover from a tragic such as that.
The envelope stayed on the coffee table an hour after MJ left; I was nervous about the content inside. With Archibald by my side I finally opened it. If was full of letters, wrote by my brother but never mailed. There was birthday cards and hand written letters all addressed to me. Confused I sat and looked at them, terrified to read them.
Through Archibald I found the strength to read them, I sat on the couch and read out loud the words m
y brother had written.
Each letter started the same way, with him stating he loved and missed me. The first couple explained why he had left and never came back. Tears rolled down my face as Markus explained our father had disowned him upon learning Markus had started transporting moonshine due to gamblingdebts. Their father had sold several antiques to give him the money to repay his losses than had told him to leave and never come back.
Looking back I know my Father was a hardworking, law bidding and God fearing man. But the concept he would disowned his own son over this or anything broke my heart. Markus had only been 20 years old when he had left; a man yes, but a very young man.
All these years I had thought it was Markus that had wanted to leave; it was him that had turned his back on us….on me.
The letters in the middle of the stack Markus had written about the death of his child, his feelings of pain, how the death of Marshall had almost ended his marriage. His pain reflected in his words. He had also written when his wife had given birth to his son Markus Jr. He had expressed concern for this child, praying he would not be taken as Marshall had.
Once again tears fell from my eyes. As I continued reading my letters I came to the understanding my brother had not mailed any of these in fear I would return them. He had felt if he didn’t mail them, he would not have the pain of my rejection.
Reading the last letter written just days before his death, Markus spoke of wasted time, how family should never lose touch and he expressed his love for me, he had kept the knowledge of my young love deep within his heart.
Reflecting on Markus’ words I promise to do my best to keep his son in my life. I will not have another family member lost due to misguided judgments.
Stephanie places the open book on her lap as she wipes tears from her cheeks. The young man Della had met was her Father. A man she herself had barely known; he had left when she was too young to remember him. The man she had judged to be unworthy of her Mother. Only to discover a short time ago it was not his fault but in fact her Mother was to blame. Remembering Della’s words, she indeed had misguidedly judged her Father.
Her Father just 18 years old had dealt with the death of his Father and at 20 years old the loss of his Mother. Even at his early age he had done the right thing and had brought his Aunt the letters from his Father. Having never met Della, he hadn’t known he would be welcomed in her home, but he had come anyway. Accepting this indicates and attests to her Father’s character. Wishing she had been able to know him, regret fills her heart.
Raising the book she takes a deep breath, releasing it she reads.
November 23rd Dear Diary, Today has been a celebration, MJ and his wife Stacy came for Thanksgiving. It was odd knowing they were unable to see Archibald. But he sat at the table with us, knowing I wanted him with me.
MJ told me they are expecting a child. The joy was shining in his eyes, even as he told me due to their ages, both in their 30’s they were only having this one child. He explained about the health risks for Stacy and the child. He even asked permission to name the baby after his own Father, as he did not want to upset me. I expressed my excitement and also told him I knew his Father would be proud.
After we ate, we sat and talked for hours, I had tried to convince them to stay the night, but Stacy declined, stating they had to be at her parent’s home by morning and they would need to travel most of the night.
When they left, Archibald and I had talked, we both sensed difficulty ahead for the young couple. I pray we are wrong. After all, it could just be Stacy’s worry over the risk of being pregnant.
March 11th Dear Diary, Today is our anniversary. We have been married 38 years; Archibald says it seems as if we had gotten married yesterday. The years together have been a blessing. We can still talk for hours, we enjoy our debates or we can sit quietly and watch television. We are indeed an old married couple.
My Archibald can still make my body tingle with his touch. I tell him I am too old for him to do this, he snorts his objection. He is still a romantic, and to be truthful I enjoy his attention.
Stephanie smiles as she reads about their romance.
Dec 10th
Dear Diary, I went to town today, needed to pick up some supplies. The bookkeeping has picked up and I needed to get the items before the winter storm begins.
At the general store, Mr. Wilson introduced me to a young woman, Carrie. She is an artist and does beautiful paintings. I am thinking of inviting her to visit, I would like a portrait done.
I am hoping she can do a sketch of Archibald as I describe him. I know not to get my hopes to high, but I really want this to happen.
Jan 17th
Dear Diary, Carrie showed up today. And I was speechless, she could see Archibald. He was standing in the living room, I knew he was in there; he wanted to see my new friend. Having spoken to her several times on the phone, and meeting for a couple of lunches she had agreed to try to do a sketch of Archibald. I had been vague about who he was, just telling her I wanted him dressed in a Union uniform.
Carrie had walked into the room, seen Archibald, said hello and turned to me. She then informed me she would be able to sketch him, if he didn’t mind standing still for a little while. Poor Archibald didn’t know what to do; he just stood there looking at me, with his mouth open.
While Carrie retrieved her sketch paper, I did recover my composer and tried to explain. Bless her soul, she took pity on us and informed us she had grown up with the stories of the Union ghost and she believed in the supernatural.
Archibald graciously stood where she told him too. It was as he stood in front of the fireplace he asked if Carrie could do a portrait of both him and me, he wondered if she would be able to do it to represent our wedding day.
Carrie asked questions about our wedding day while she sketched. My dress color, my age, how I had done my hair, how we were standing. After about an hour, Carrie had said she need to go and would be back next week to do a few more sketches.
After she left Archibald and I sat and shared our excitement for our new friend.
February 16th Dear Diary, I received a phone call from MJ today; I am now a Great Aunt. The pride in his voice as he spoke of his new baby son came right through the phone. The baby’s name is Mitch Markus Tuney-Cain. The double last name was Stacy’s idea, not sure I approve but this is not my place to say. MJ said they would bring the baby to meet me as soon as they can. I am truly looking forward to spoiling my Great Nephew.
The joy MJ is feeling for this child has me sorry he will not have any more. But at least the Good Lord blessed him with a healthy son.
March 3rd Dear Diary,
Archibald has a new friend. Carrie’s husband CJ came to dinner with her. We had spoken of doing this for several weeks. Carrie had felt CJ would be able to see Archibald due to he also believed in the supernatural. I had my doubts, but Archibald wanted to try the meeting.
All three of us decided if CJ was unable to see Archibald, we would not mention him. After all, none of us wanted to be put Carrie and CJ in an awkward situation with their relationship.
CJ was quiet at first; we knew he had seen Archibald as he had acknowledged him when CJ walked into the room. Archibald had given CJ time to adjust then had started asking him questions, before long they were talking about sports, politics and work.
All in all I feel the evening was successful. Before they left CJ had told Archibald they would visit again next week. Stephanie glances from the diary to the clock on the wall, seeing she had been reading for three hours, she sets the book on the coffee table as she rises from the couch. Flexing her shoulders she walks to the kitchen. Removing a diet soda from the refrigerator she returns to the living room. After taking a sip of the drink, Stephanie gets comfortable on the sofa, picking up the diary she resumes reading.
Sept 28th
Dear Diary, My heart breaks from the news received today.
No longer will CJ and Carrie be able to visit us. After years of weekl
y visits, I am at a loss on how to explain this to my love. He treasures his friendship with them as much as I do. The age difference between us didn’t matter as we got along well. I had felt like I had a daughter and son-in-law; feeling the bond of friendship growing I am now faced with the emptiness of this loss. I know my Archibald will feel the same loss. He had grown to care deeply for our new friends.
To say goodbye to friends is hard. Having met Carrie in town at the Café I had listened as she explain their dilemma, how they have struggled with how to tell us. How CJ wants to explain to Archibald. It was that part of the plan I told her no, I would handle telling him.
I understand they need to move forward with their plan to care for foster children. They want to help children that have been neglected or abused. I can even understand their fear if the news gets out they speak to “ghosts” their license will be denied.
Yes, I can understand the reasons; however I am hurt deeply with the results. I am now facing a loss of truly great friends and with the task of telling my love.
I know he will blame himself; he will sense my hurt and place the loss of our friends on his shoulders. With his pain I cannot bear for him to bear this burden.
Dec 24th
Dear Diary, Today I received a present from a lost friend. I haven’t seen Carrie or CJ for months. Getting news of them from local gossip only, I know they have gotten the approval to be Foster Parents. With their son being 4 years old now, I figure they feel they can handle the situations with the children.
I still miss them terribly and know Archibald does too. I took the chicken way out and didn’t tell Archibald the friendship was over, I just keep making up excuses that they have rescheduled the visits. I know he realizes they are not coming back to visit but he doesn’t question me.
A Love for all Ages (Crockett County Trilogy Book 1) Page 21
