Ian shrugged. “Sure. Why not? If you have time, that is.”
“I mean, I…” She trailed off as she glanced back at the bar. “Okay,” she said after a moment, unsure why she was agreeing but unable to bring herself to say no. She straightened up and set the shoebox on the counter before leading him deeper into the shop.
“This is the adult section, here,” she said, gesturing at the first three aisles. “And that last aisle there is children’s, although things are never where they should be. The kids wind up moving stuff around, and I’m too happy to have them interested in reading to stop them.” Ian nodded thoughtfully as she led him down the first aisle, pointing out the different sections as she went. “We have contemporary fiction here, historical fiction, sci-fi and fantasy, erotica…” Max blushed a little at this last one, thankful her back was to him. “I wanted to keep the reference books in the back,” she continued, “since nonfiction is kind of its own animal. At first, I wasn’t sure whether to categorize it by subject or type – you know, journals, encyclopedias, that kind of thing. I ended up just doing alphabetical because it was easier.” Realizing she was babbling, she quieted, reminding herself that this was the man who wanted to take her business from her. She couldn’t help it, though; books were her passion, and once she got talking about them, it was hard for her to stop.
“I like it,” Ian said, crossing his arms as she turned back around to face him. “It’s different than the big retailers I’ve been in – it’s got more of a personal touch, I think. The artwork on the walls, the mural. The bar, too,” he added. “It’s not something you’d expect, but it works perfectly. It feels… I don’t know. Homey. Easy. Comfortable.”
Max blinked. “Well, that’s… kind of you to say.”
“Your aunt told me you were crazy about this place,” Ian said. “She said you left your previous life as an accountant behind so you could pursue your dream. I really respect that.” He squinted over at the reading nook, where a small framed photo of Max and Ty hung next to a print from a local artist, and remarked, “I, ah, didn’t know you were married.”
“I’m not,” Max replied stiffly. “We were together for a while, but he moved to Paris for work. Things ended.” She shrugged, unable to get into the finer details, especially not with this man.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Ian said, turning back to her with genuine sympathy in his expression. It was almost like he was seeing through her, looking directly into her mind with those dark eyes.
Eyes like the night sky. As soon as the thought registered, though, Max shoved it away. What the hell am I thinking?
Public enemy number one.
Turning around, she led Ian back to the front of the store, stopping in front of the bar.
“This is the wine bar,” she said, putting her hand on the counter. “Ty – the guy from that photo – he helped me set this up. It was kind of a passion project.” Her shoulders slumped a little. “But I guess it wasn’t meant to be, right?”
There was a flicker of guilt on Ian’s face, but he seemed to shake it off, instead offering her a smile that had probably melted the hearts of many women over the years. “Thanks for the tour, Max.”
“Not a problem,” she said with a forced smile. “And again, I apologize on behalf of my aunt. She’s just trying to protect me and can be a bit of a bulldog sometimes. I’ll put a leash on her, and you won’t hear from her again. If that’s all you needed?”
“Actually, no,” he said, taking a step closer to her. “I know you think I’m some cold-hearted monster, but I don’t take pleasure in uprooting your business or your life.” Max eyed him suspiciously as he continued. “I can’t make any promises, but I know some people in real estate around here.”
Max snorted. “Of course you do. Your parents know everyone in real estate.”
Ian’s expression darkened, but only for a moment. “Maybe I can help hook you up with a new place nearby. And now that I’ve seen your passion,” he said, sounding sincere, “give me a chance to show you mine. I think you’ll find my plans for this space to be pretty interesting.” He shrugged, spreading his arms out. “I mean, what have you got to lose?”
“Nothing, I guess,” Max replied, pursing her lips.
He nodded and the next thing she knew he was handing her his cell phone.
“Here,” he said, “put your number in. I’ll do some digging and see what I can do, okay?”
Max eyed him for a long moment, biting her lip, but her resistance was faltering, and she nodded before turning to his phone. The idea of giving him a fake number briefly crossed her mind, but she didn’t give it much thought. This is the right thing to do, she told herself. Forgiving this guy and getting on good terms with him would be best for everyone, no matter how much it hurts. And Lord knew he’d probably have better luck finding a comparable place with his connections.
Stiffly, she handed him back his phone.
“I’ll text you soon,” Ian said, tucking it back into his pocket and heading for the door. “Thank you again for showing me this place, Max,” he added with his hand on the doorknob. “Seriously. You’ve… given me some things to think about.”
Before she could respond, he was gone, the door swinging shut behind him and leaving Max to stare after him. She could still hardly believe what had just happened.
Was the guy who was trying to take her livelihood away from her, now trying to help her?
As she glanced back at the shoebox on the counter, part of her wished he hadn’t offered. At least that way she would have been able to stick to disgust and distaste, instead of what she was feeling now.
Guilty, lost and confused, party of one, please?
9
Sasha
“I know I suggested lilac for the walls, but I actually really liked your idea of ivory with a burgundy accent,” Alita was saying, using a pen to point at the image on her computer screen. “And the DuPont’s seemed happy with it, too – you’ve got a good eye for these things.”
Usually, this kind of compliment, especially coming from someone like her boss, would make Sasha feel overjoyed. On a normal day, during a normal time in her life, she would spend the rest of her shift glowing like a little kid who had gotten an A on a test, eager to tell Gabe about how she managed to impress one of the most successful interior designers in the tri-state area. But nothing about her life was normal lately, and all she managed in response was a wan smile as Alita glanced over at her.
“Thank you,” Sasha said. “It means a lot coming from you.”
Alita laughed and waved her off. “Oh, please. I’ve just got a good eye and love spending other people’s money. The fact that people are paying me to boot is just icing on the cake.”
Sasha chuckled at her boss’s teasing modesty, hoping the sound didn’t ring false to Alita’s ears. She was thrilled that Alita had given her so much creative freedom and input on this new project. But as much as she’d been trying to focus on work instead of on the secret she was keeping, it was getting hard to even think straight. Not to mention the terrible waves of nausea that washed over her with increasing frequency and hormones that would put an amusement park rollercoaster ride to shame.
Despite the multiple pregnancy tests she’d taken – all positive – she had yet to visit a doctor for an official confirmation. After all, until then, it wasn’t exactly a lie…was it?
At least, that was what she’d been telling herself. But her ‘not a lie’ was becoming very difficult to hide from her new husband. Between blasting the radio in the bathroom to cover the sound of her gagging, to covering the bags of exhaustion beneath her eyes with enough concealer to paint a mural, she was definitely burning this whole deception candle at both ends.
Sasha had come close to telling him approximately a hundred times since the wedding this past weekend, and every romantic gesture or heartfelt comment he made was enough to make her want to cry from the guilt weighing on her. It was all too much, and her nerves were shot, so it wa
s no surprise that she was having a hard time concentrating at work.
Maybe she was being overly paranoid. Maybe all this worry would be for nothing and Gabe would be excited. It wasn’t as if he never wanted kids, after all. They had been on the same page about that from the get-go. They were going to wait until a few years after they were married, so they could prioritize their career goals. He wanted to make a real go of the charter boat business, while she was just hitting her stride in interior design; she was still in school, and between that and her part-time job working for Alita, her situation didn’t exactly lend itself to motherhood at the moment.
Nor did their finances. It had been lovely when Cee-cee had given them some of the money from her Holiday Cupcake Battle win, but the wedding had eaten that up almost immediately. Between her only working part-time and the recent repairs on Gabe’s boat, things were so tight, they practically squeaked. The monetary gifts from the wedding reception represented their life savings at present, and she knew that small cushion was a mental lifeline for Gabe. The thought of snapping that line made her already achy stomach clench.
“Are you okay, Sash?” asked Alita, her eyes narrowing.
Realizing her boss had been watching her intently, Sasha nodded. “Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about what Mrs. Dupont said about the baroque end table. Do you think, um… do you think it would look better in gold than in silver?”
“Oh.” Alita returned her gaze to the computer screen. “Interesting point. Hmm…”
You’re good at faking it, she thought as she watched her boss distract herself. Too good, maybe.
But it wasn’t as if this whole thing was on her and her alone, she reminded herself. As much of a wrench this had thrown into her life, Gabe was just as responsible for her condition as she was. They had used contraceptives, sure, but accidents happened. An accident had happened. Now she had to deal with it. The part that was causing all the guilt, though?
It didn’t feel like an accident. She hadn’t planned it, but that didn’t change the fact that mixed in with all the fear and guilt was a pure shot of unadulterated joy. How could she already love the tiny little jellybean growing inside her? They had made this together – her and Gabe – and it felt just as much a part of her as everything else she had been working for up to this point – more so, even.
It might have been an accident, but it wasn’t a mistake. Surely, Gabe would agree with her, right? Surely, he would love this little guy – or gal – as much as she did?
And if he doesn’t? whispered a small voice in the back of her mind.
This was exactly the kind of bombshell that dissolved new marriages. Would Gabe freak out when she told him? Would he balk at the idea of putting his life on hold, changing all his plans for a baby he hadn’t been expecting? Would he resent her? They’d gone through a rough patch not too long ago, and it had nearly broken them. Sasha didn’t think she’d be able to handle the pain of losing him for good this time.
Slowly, almost instinctively, Sasha’s hand drifted down to her belly, resting there protectively. It was absurd, considering her stomach was the same as ever, but there was nothing sensible about any of this. She loved this kid, she wanted it… and the idea of Gabe not feeling the same way was almost unbearable.
The movement didn’t go unnoticed by Alita, who looked up from her computer monitor once again.
“Are you sure you’re feeling all right?” she asked. “Is your stomach bothering you?”
“Hm?” Sasha cleared her throat. “No, I feel fine. I’m just… a little hungry, that’s all.”
The excuse was a thin one, but it seemed to appease Alita, who looked at her with a strange grin. “That should be rectified soon enough.”
It was way past lunchtime, and Sasha hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. She’d been slogging through her work all day, trying desperately to find some kind of focus, but unable to stop thoughts of the pregnancy and an endless stream of what ifs from flooding her mind at every turn. Once this meeting was over, she would slip out and grab something, even if she didn’t have much of an appetite. She was eating for two, after all.
“So, moving on to the Swanson house,” Alita said, switching to another window and pulling up a list of swatches. “What are your thoughts in terms of color scheme? I was personally thinking Blonde Ambition for the walls, and maybe this darker goldenrod one for the molding – it’s subtle, but there’s still a visible difference, don’t you think?”
Sasha frowned. “What did you say they were using this room for, again?”
“A nursery,” replied Alita. “But they want classy and subtle, no cotton candy colors.”
The reminders were everywhere, it seemed; there was no escaping them.
That’s it, Sasha thought as she leaned forward to examine the swatches. I’m going to tell Gabe tonight. He’ll be as thrilled as I am, and as for the rest, well… we’ll just figure it out. That’s what couples do, right? They worked together.
As if on cue, there was a knock at the office door.
“Come in,” Alita said, not looking away from the computer screen. Sasha turned around just as Gabe strode into the room, looking handsome as ever in a button-down shirt and casual slacks.
“Hope I’m not interrupting something,” he said.
“Gabe?” In spite of her anxiety, Sasha felt herself light up when she saw him. “What are you doing here?”
A mischievous smile appeared on her husband’s face. “That, my dear Sasha, is a surprise.” He rubbed his hands together, all business, as he said, “Grab your stuff, babe. We’re heading out.”
Sasha’s brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?” she asked, laughing a little. “I’ve still got a couple hours left.”
“Not today, you don’t,” Alita said, turning to her with an encouraging smile on her face. “You hardly took any time off for the wedding and honeymoon. Go spend time with your new husband. I’ll take care of the rest of this.”
Sasha blinked, realizing that the two of them must have been in cahoots about this – whatever it was – the whole time, and she couldn’t help but grin when she saw the look of boyish excitement on Gabe’s face.
Hopefully, he’ll still look like that when you tell him the truth, a little voice in her head whispered, but she silenced it, crossing the room to gather up her jacket and purse.
“Have fun, you two,” Alita called as they made their way out of the office.
“So where are you taking me for this mysterious outing?” Sasha asked, taking hold of Gabe’s hand as they rode the elevator to the bottom level and walked out into the bright afternoon sunshine.
“The pier,” Gabe replied without missing a beat.
“Why do I get the feeling this has something to do with your business?”
He laughed. “Nope. Only in the sense that I canceled a booking so we could do this.”
Her eyes widened. “You canceled a booking to pick me up early?”
Gabe pulled her closer, squeezing her hand and planting a kiss on her forehead. “Don’t worry. They were waffling between today and tomorrow, and were happy to move slots. I’ve wanted to do this for a while.” He led her across the parking lot to his car, holding the door open for her so she could climb inside before getting behind the wheel.
“And here I thought the romantic honeymoon stuff was all over,” Sasha murmured as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“Who says it’s something romantic?”
Sasha gave him a playful nudge on the shoulder. “You’re too much.”
“I know,” Gabe said. “That’s why you married me.”
He remained otherwise tight lipped for the rest of the drive to the pier, and Sasha reminded herself to relax as they came to a stop in the parking lot and left the car behind. Gabe’s boat was in its usual place by the docks, and before they had even gotten on, Sasha could make out the spread he had laid out on the deck. There was a checkered blanket and a picnic basket. Squinting, she could see handfuls of r
ose petals tossed around, with cushions to sit on as they watched the waves.
“Oh my gosh,” she breathed, turning to him as they approached.
“I made your favorite, too,” Gabe said. “Egg salad sandwiches, fresh berries, and brownies for dessert.”
“Gabe,” Sasha said, turning to him, and she felt tears in her eyes.
“Hey, hey,” he said, wiping her cheek with his thumb. “This is supposed to be fun, remember?”
“I know,” she replied, shaking her head at the silliness of the emotions. “It’s just… really sweet, that’s all.”
“I love you,” Gabe told her.
“I love you, too,” she murmured, and he planted a kiss on her lips before going to the boat, clambering aboard before giving her a hand as she stepped up onto the deck. It bucked and swayed beneath her feet as Gabe started the engine and began to drive them out to sea, and Sasha felt her stomach give an uncomfortable lurch at the movement.
She normally didn’t have problems with motion sickness, but that was before.
Just tell him. It’s the perfect time.
Try as she might, though, she couldn’t make herself spit the words out. This was too perfect, and the last thing she wanted to do was ruin it – especially given how emotionally distant Gabe had been in the past. It was obvious that he was really making an effort to follow through on his promise to be attentive and present for her, and that, somehow, almost made it worse.
She shoved the feeling aside as he turned off the engine and made his way toward her, grinning.
“Let’s eat!”
They sat down and tucked in, Sasha doing her best to eat the food Gabe had so lovingly prepared for her. He didn’t seem to notice her lack of appetite, talking her ear off about clients, asking questions about her day, and catching her up on the latest news from his aunts and his sister, Max. Eventually, they settled into a comfortable silence, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her up against his body as they listened to the sounds of the waves lapping at the boat.
Finding Forever: A Bluebird Bay Novel Page 7
