by Lisa Lace
I hold her close to me. Her hair smells like coconuts. Her cold feet press between my shins; she snuggles closer into my arms, her hands in little fists up by her chin, her forehead against my chest. She’s finally staying still.
Everything is hectic at work; movement, dancing, and bright lights. There are people everywhere, and I move between them like a shadow; present, but not really a part of the day. Here, with Sophie, it’s the opposite. We share something calm and consistent. When she’s in my arms, I feel completely present. I wish I could have more time with her, too.
“I feel the same,” I tell her. “We’re missing out on those little moments. There’s a rush to come and a rush to go. I don’t want it to be like that. I want to cherish every single second of time we can get together.”
“Mmm.” Sophie lets out a wistful sigh, wrapping her arms around my torso. “That would be nice.”
I adjust my position to face her. She looks up.
“I know it’s a bit soon, but you’re right: we’ve got lost time to make up for. What would you say to moving in together?”
Sophie sits up in surprise. “Already?”
I sit up, too. “You’re not ready for that?”
She tucks her hair behind her ear, and her eyebrows draw together. “I haven’t thought about it. I didn’t think that would be something on your mind so quickly.”
“Because I’m a flight-risk?”
Sophie gives me a playful pat on the chest. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“But maybe you’re a bit worried that I’m not taking this seriously—that I won’t stick around?”
She bows her head, her hair falling in a tousled sheet down to her shoulders. She nods. “Maybe a little.”
“I won’t.” I take both her hands in mine and catch her eyes. “I promise you.”
Her frown breaks and turns into a grin. “You mean it?”
“One hundred percent.”
She bounces onto her knees and launches herself into my arms with a delighted laugh. “Then, yes! Let’s do it!”
“My place or here?”
“I don’t care.”
I chuckle. “Really? You want to do this?”
She pulls back, keeping her arms wrapped around my neck. She looks me in the eye. “I want to be with you every second of every day. If I’m in this thing, I’m all in.”
“What will Lena say?”
Sophie puts on Lena’s voice. “What are you thinking, Soph? You’ve only gotten back together for three months. Give yourself a chance! What will your dad say?”
“About time, son! She’s always been your better half. Tie that girl down.”
She throws back her head and laughs. “At the end of the day, it’s all up to us, right?”
“You got it.”
“I say that I’ve had enough of waiting for everything to fall into place. I’m going to wedge things into place like a stubborn toddler with a mallet.”
“Makes it sound like we’re not a good fit!”
“You know what I mean. I don’t want to wait. I want to be reckless again, like the day I met you and let you take me on an adventure across the world. When you know, you know—and I think I know.”
“Then let’s do it. I’ll move here.”
Sophie’s eyes widen. “You’d leave your apartment? But it’s so much nicer than mine!”
“It’s just four walls. Besides, my work is mobile. You need to stay close to the bank. I know how much you love this place.”
“I do,” Sophie confesses. “It’s so close to Lena, and we have all our favorite haunts around here, like Latte Latte. It’s a stupid reason to hold onto an apartment, but I love that place. It’s where I get to hang out with Lena.”
“I get it. No arguments from me. It’s my turn to follow you if you’ll have me.”
“Of course, I will!”
She jumps out of bed and heads to her closet. She pulls open the door, takes out an armful of clothes and hangers, and throws them on the floor. She gestures to the empty space. “I’ve already made room.”
I laugh. She’s got her hands on her hips in a determined pose, but I can’t take her seriously because she’s still completely nuts.
I hold out my arms to beckon her back to bed. She comes to me, and I cuddle her tightly, kissing the back of her neck. “As long as I have room for my camera, and there’s a spot for me in this bed, I have everything I need.”
“I’ll take those silly cheap canvases off the wall. We’ll put your headlines up.”
I shake my head. “No. We’ll put mine away, where they belong. Going forward, you’re my focus.”
Sophie’s eyes fill with tears. “I can’t believe how much has changed. This is everything I ever wanted.”
“I believe we’re going to make each other really happy.” I hold her close, and we talk about moving plans and arrangements. I don’t feel nervous or impetuous at all. I can’t wait to be with her all the time.
“Me, too. We’ll get to do this every morning.”
“We’ll get to cuddle every night.”
Sophie laughs. “I don’t remember you being such a romantic guy.”
“I’ve mellowed.”
She presses her lips against mine with deep affection. “I’m glad. I like this new Cole. I feel like you’re really mine.”
“I am—all yours.”
Sophie
We finish lugging the last of Cole’s boxes into the apartment. He’s left a lot behind, and given a lot away. He’s put his awards and headlines into storage and brought little more than his clothes and photography equipment. His things fit into the apartment like they were here the whole time.
By the time we’ve finished unpacking, everything looks the same, except it’s not, because this time, Cole isn’t leaving.
“Wow,” I say, looking around at the tidy apartment. “I expected it to feel like more of a dramatic change.”
“That’s my trick: I sneak up on you. Before you know it, you won’t know how you ever lived without me.”
“I hope that’s how it goes. You finish up, I’ll get dinner going. Maybe we can open a bottle of wine to celebrate. After all, moving in is a big step.”
Not as big as marriage, but still.
Cole grins and stretches his arms above his head with a contented sigh. He follows me into the kitchen, and wraps his arms around my waist, kissing my neck. “This is more how I imagined it.”
“Imagined what?”
“Marriage.”
I laugh. “Me, too.”
“We have a flow now that we didn’t used to have. Do you know what I mean?”
“I think I do.” I twist my head to kiss him on his lips. “You should finish unpacking—by the time you’re done, dinner will be ready.”
I work on making food as Cole finishes unpacking the last of his odds and ends. He puts his toiletries in my bathroom and adds a few souvenir knick-knacks to my bookshelf of souvenirs. He hangs his shirts up in my closet next to my dresses and puts his smartphone dock on the nightstand on his side of the bed.
A tingle of excitement spreads through me as I consider that Cole has an official side of the bed. He’s here to stay.
Cole appears in the kitchen as I’m about to serve dinner—lemon chicken and rosemary potatoes. “That smells amazing.”
I grin. “You can start getting used to home-cooked dinners.”
“You’re spoiling me.”
“Not really. You’ll be in charge of changing light bulbs and cleaning plugged drains.”
“I’ll take that deal.”
I serve the food, and we sit together at the breakfast bar. I’ve seen a lot of Cole since we started dating again, but I’m suddenly full of nerves. I’m aware of the fact that we’re at the beginning of our next adventure, and my heart is racing. There’s been a shift in our relationship status; we’ve gone from dating to cohabiting. It’s a huge and wonderful step.
He’s wearing a pair of indoor lounge pants and a tight
white T-shirt that shows off his muscular arms. I let my gaze linger on those muscles and then move up to his handsome, chiseled face. A frisson runs through me. He’s all mine and going nowhere.
“This is life now.”
Cole grins. “Yup.”
He takes a big bite of roast potatoes, and I can’t wipe the smile off my face. This is what he was talking about—special little moments.
After dinner, we pick a movie and curl up together on my sofa. I nestle as close to Cole as I can. His body is warm and firm, and his arms close around me like clockwork.
Before we press “play,” Cole stops the movie. “There’s one thing I forgot to unpack.” He leaves the room for a moment and returns with a thick pile of brochures and magazines.
“What’s that?”
Cole lays his collection down on the coffee table. “They’re college brochures.”
“Why?”
He turns to me and rests his hand on my knee affectionately. He meets my eye with an earnest gaze. “I’ve done a lot of thinking since we came back into each other’s lives. I know last time we were together, it was all about me and my ambitions. If we’re doing this again, then it’s your turn. If you want to go to school, then I’ll support you all the way.”
I’m touched. My heart flutters with gratitude, and I lean forward to kiss him deeply, my palm resting against the stubble on his jaw. “Cole, you’re so sweet, but I don’t need this. Honestly, I’m happy now. The bank isn’t where I expected to be, but I’ve done well there, and I have good friends. I’m content with my life.”
He grips my hand. “I feel like I took something from you when I proposed. I took it for granted that you’d support me, and I didn’t return the favor. I’m ready to make that right.”
I shake my head. “You don’t need to. You’re here, and I’m happy.”
“If you’re happy, then I’m happy. I want you to know, though, that I’m ready to step up when you need me. No more butting heads. We’re a team.”
I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. “I love you.”
I spot Lena sitting in our usual spot at Latte Latte, and I rush over to her. She stands to greet me, and I barrel into her for a hug.
“I’m so sorry you haven’t seen much of me. I can’t tell you how much I’ve been looking forward to this. Let me get you a coffee. Cake?”
“Of course. What do I look like?”
I grab us both a latte and a slice of chocolate Guinness cake, and we sit down to catch up. Lena’s had some lowlights put into her hair and is wearing a new purplish eyeshadow.
“Ooh, you look nice! I like the hair.”
“I was going to suggest you come to the salon with me, but someone was enjoying their moving day.”
I laugh. “Next time. I promise.”
“I guess you better tell me all about it then. I can tell you’re dying to. How are things with Cole? How’s living with him?”
I take a deep, joyful breath that lifts my shoulders to my ears, and I beam, lifting my hands up when I struggle to find the words. “Amazing.”
Lena smiles. “I’ve got to admit it—you’re glowing. You don’t have any other little surprises for us, have you?” She glances down at my stomach, and I respond with a playful nudge.
“I’m not pregnant. Just happy.” I press my fork down into my cake and spoon the crumby goodness into my mouth. I thought I was at one hundred percent utter contentment, but the cake pushes it over the edge. Every criticism Lena throws my way is like water off a duck’s back. And criticize she does. “You know, I’m worried it’s too soon. You’ve only just found each other again.”
I nod. “I know.”
“You’re going in with your eyes open?”
I let out a long breath and sink back into the sofa, my eyes glazing over with contentment. I shrug. “I don’t know how to explain it. I was prepared to hold him at arm’s length and take it slow, but then I find myself falling for him all over again. He’s really changed, Lena.”
“How much does anybody ever change?”
“When we first returned to the US, Cole chose the apartment and which part of town. He chose where we got married and when. He decided that he’d pursue photography and then I’d go to school later. I mean, it’s not like I said no to any of those things—I was always happy to go along with anything Cole wanted, and I have to accept responsibility for that. But now, he wouldn’t dream of making a decision without making sure I was one hundred percent happy. When he suggested we move in, he didn’t think twice about moving into my place. Then he hands me all these college brochures and tells me he’s ready to step up and support me for a change.”
Lena raises her eyebrows. “Sounds like he’s come to his senses and realizes he took you for granted.”
“Maybe. He’s grown up. He’s more sensitive, less selfish. Without all that journalism stuff clouding the air, it’s like he can actually see me. In fact, he makes me feel like the only woman in the world.”
I take a sip of my latte and finish off my cake. I gather the last crumbs on my thumb and suck them off, then sit back, feeling full and completely relaxed, despite Lena’s warnings.
“It’s early days yet. It’s easy to be a perfect person for a short stint.”
“I get why you’re so cynical, but you have to remember how long ago it was when we were married.”
She softens a little. “I know. It was a long time ago.”
I squeeze her hand. “Anyway, enough about me. Tell me what’s going on with you.”
Lena fills me in on her business and the next holiday she and James are planning. She tells me about all the gossip that she overheard in the salon, and bitches for a while about a member of her staff who’s stirring up trouble.
“Wow.” I laugh. “Sounds like it’s all good.”
“It is. Things are moving for you, too.”
“At last. I can’t tell you how glad I am that Cole’s back in my life.”
“You don’t need to. It’s written all over your face.”
“I really think that this time it’s for keeps.”
“Let’s hope so, Sophie. I really do want you to be happy.”
We finish out catch-up and hug each other goodbye. I know that Lena is suspicious of Cole and less ready to believe that he’s really changed, but I know in my heart that this time, things will be different.
Cole
Another day, another venue. This one is pretty small, but perfect for the occasion. Black and silver helium balloons are fixed in an arch with a large metallic number 16 floating in the middle. The birthday girl poses in the middle of the arch. She twirls and preens like she thinks she’s a supermodel. I snap away as she blows kisses and flutters her eyelashes. She has so much makeup on that she looks orange. I adjust the filter on my camera to neutralize the tangerine tone and make a note to myself to make some adjustments on photoshop when I get to the edits.
“That’s great, Ally. I think that’s plenty before the party. I’ll make sure to get a ton when you go in.”
She grins, thanks me, and takes off into the hall that her parents have rented.
Dennis lets out a long breath. “Jesus. What’s with all these sweet sixteens these days? We used to get one in a blue moon, and now, everybody’s going nuts for them. If I’d have asked my parents to blow five grand on a party as a teenager, they’d have laughed me out of the room and told me to get a job.”
“Anything to give me a break from weddings. At least we can get some entertainment watching these kids get blitzed on non-alcoholic punch.”
I scroll through the pictures I’ve taken, deleting a few with the birthday girl’s eyes closed and one where the huge silver helium balloons had floated too far into the frame.
Dennis pulls up a plastic chair from the back of the room and sits down as he unfolds his tripod. He looks over to me and says cautiously, “Don’t suppose you’ve seen the latest Time magazine?”
I grit my teeth and nod. “Uh-huh.”
“Great shot, huh?”
“Phenomenal.”
It was one of those iconic once-in-a-generation images taken of a young girl; part of a newly-discovered tribe deep in the Amazon. The picture shows the amazement on her face as she sees a camera for the first time. It’s sensational.
“Did you see who took it?”
“Edward Bates, right?”
“Yes. You used to work with him, didn’t you?”
I clench my jaw and adjust the lens on my camera. “Mm-hmm.”
Before my fall from grace, I’d worked with Edward at The New York Times. We’d started around the same time, and he’d waited patiently in the background while I’d reveled in the limelight—only to step into my shoes the moment I was out the picture.
“They’re saying that the shot might win the Pulitzer.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s some picture.”
“Do you miss that life?”
I pause, my hands becoming still around my camera. I cast a glance toward Dennis and nod. “I do.”
“It must kill you to see Bates making shots like that.”
“My life has moved on.”
“If you hadn’t had the accident, would you have ever left it?”
I shake my head. “God, no. I loved it.” I pull up a chair beside him and make a sweeping gesture with my hand to paint a picture. “It’s a life like no other; adrenalin, travel, adventure, and the feeling that you’re doing something significant with your life. It’s a mixture of art and daring; not a career, but a calling.”
Dennis looks at me blankly. “Wow. Doesn’t sound like you’ve moved on.”
“What can I say?” I can’t keep the nostalgia out my voice. “I was made for that life. I was born restless. Weddings and sweet sixteens don’t cut it for me. I crave the adrenaline; I crave the danger; I crave the thrill. I miss the feeling of taking a picture so meaningful that they print it for the whole world to see. To capture a moment forever and publicize it so as a species, we realize we’re closer than we think. That girl that Bates shot—who’d have ever known she existed without that picture? A whole hidden civilization has been shared with the entire world. There’s no greater buzz.”
