by Lisa Lace
“I’m going to do my best not to let that happen.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Zoe hanging onto my words. I know that she’s waiting for me to bring up my imminent return to New York and what will happen between us then. Little does she know that I’ve got it all figured out.
After everyone is finished greeting Laura, it’s time to open gifts. Soon, they forget about me leaving and get caught up in the magic.
I grin from ear to ear when I watch Megan open her new dress. When she realizes it’s an authentic designer brand, she shrieks with excitement, then leaps into my arms. “I can’t believe you remembered! Thank you!”
Laura loves her software. As far as I can see, it’s boring as hell, but Laura is thrilled. “This is going to be a lifesaver!” she gushes.
Jack is over the moon with his new console, tearing it out of its packaging and moving his thumbs over a new set of controls.
Finally, it’s my turn to give Zoe her present. I smile knowingly as I watch her accept the little gift-wrapped box.
Her lips part in surprise, and then her expression softens. She looks up at me from under her lashes, biting down on her lip like she’s suddenly shy. I can understand why—all eyes are on her.
Laura and Megan are leaning forward intently. Even I’m holding my breath. I know that Zoe’s not one for expensive things, but I really tried to get her something she’d love.
She unwraps the paper and sees that there’s a jewelry box inside. She silently lifts the lid, then gasps. Her eyes fill up with tears; she’s touched.
Inside is a necklace I spent hours choosing. It’s understated but special. The necklace is formed like a flower; platinum and diamond petals encircle a small pearl. The whole pendant is smaller than a dime—I know Zoe wouldn’t like to be dripping in diamonds. This is something inconspicuous, but meaningful.
I want to tell her that I’ve never bought a woman jewelry before, but I don’t know if she’ll believe me. I hope she realizes that I wanted to give her something thoughtful and meant just for her.
“Oh, Tom.” She takes a quick breath. “It’s beautiful.” Her response is worth every moment spent crawling internet pages and walking through shopping malls to search for the perfect gesture.
She lifts the delicate chain from its velvet bed and holds it out to me. “Would you?”
I stand behind her, and she lifts her hair so I can thread the chain around her neck. I fasten the clasp, and she turns to show me.
The necklace rests just below her throat, between her collarbones. She lifts it between her fingers and turns it from side to side.
She smiles. “It’s a flower.”
“Do you like it?”
“I love it.”
Megan covers her mouth with her hands in girlish excitement and spins on her chair to grin at her mom. Laura has the same knowing grin plastered on her face.
Jack doesn’t quite pick up on the nuance that the girls understand. “That’s pretty, Aunt Zoe!”
“It is, isn’t it?” Zoe turns to me, and without caring who’s watching, she gently presses her lips against mine, then slips her fingers into my hand. “Thank you.” She pauses, remembering something, and pulls away. “I have something for you too!”
She picks up a large, round, and tall gift from under the tree and carries it to me. When she passes it over, the weight takes me by surprise.
I laugh. “What is it?”
“Open it!”
I pull back the paper to find a black glass pot filled with soil and a chrysanthemum plant in bloom; its flowers are puffy, round, and red.
I notice a little card resting against the stem, but Zoe blushes when I reach for it and places her hand over mine, shaking her head. “Read that later.”
Laura laughs. “I don’t want to know what that note says.”
“Is it instructions on how to keep it alive?”
Zoe grins. “No, but I’ll email you those. We don’t want you drowning the poor thing.”
“Thank you. I love it.”
I really do. It’s not big, flashy, or expensive, but it’s a little reminder of Zoe that I can take home. There’s nothing I can think of that would mean more.
Zoe
Christmas dinner is wonderful. The kids are excited and full of life. Megan has changed into her new dress and must have posted a hundred pictures on Instagram already. It’s good to see her feeling like this after what she’s been through. Her break-up with Justin really knocked her confidence. She deserves that dress.
Jack couldn’t wait to plug in his new console. We all took turns joining in on the game. I couldn’t get the hang of the toggles and buttons, but Tom was a natural. I laughed every time I heard Jack cheering for himself when he won a race or shot a bad guy as he gave each of his games a try.
Over dinner, we laughed and talked. We pulled British Christmas crackers, and all groaned at the bad jokes. We let Megan drink half a glass of champagne. We set a timer on the camera on Megan’s phone and took a group photo in front of the tree.
Then, when everything was eaten and cleared away, we played board games, charades, and Pictionary until almost midnight. Only then did the kids go to sleep, bellies full and smiles on their faces.
I’ve been on cloud nine all day. I keep finding myself fiddling with the flower around my neck. I know Tom. If he’d been trying to impress me with money, he’d have bought the biggest, most expensive diamond that money could buy. Instead, he bought something sweet and simple that made him think of me. I loved it.
I love him.
At last, we’re alone. We clear up the last of the empty chocolate wrappers and scraps of paper from our games, then settle down together on the couch with the last of the champagne. “What a day!” Tom grins. “I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun at Christmas.”
“Me, neither. It’s just a shame Laura couldn’t join in for the whole day.”
“She’ll be home in time for New Year’s.”
The thought of New Year’s makes my stomach sink. “And then you leave two days later.”
Tom takes my hands and nods. “I need to go back to work. I’ve been away since October.”
I look away so he can’t see my eyes filling with tears, and clear my throat so he can’t hear it catching. “I understand.”
“It’s not over between us, you know. Not if you don’t want it to be.”
My heart beats faster at the first sign Tom has given me that there might be a future for us. I catch his eyes in a deep, hopeful gaze. “What do you want, Tom?”
He holds my gaze with a firm, steady stare. “I don’t want this to end.”
“So, what? We see each other a couple of times a year? On holidays?”
“Sssh,” Tom whispers. He smiles. “We’ll be fine. You’ll see.”
His answer doesn’t make sense to me. How does he know? Maybe, like me, he doesn’t want to overshadow a beautiful day with sad realities. I decide to drop the matter for now. We still have a couple of weeks left before we have to confront the fact that the New Year will take Tom back to New York.
I wonder if he’s read my note? I don’t ask Tom whether he’s read it, in case he’s not brought it up for a reason. Maybe he doesn’t feel the same.
My thoughts are chased away when Tom pulls me toward him into a deep, passionate kiss. “Let’s go upstairs.”
We go to Laura’s bedroom. As soon as the door is shut behind us, Tom pulls my soft sweater from my shoulder and presses me against the wall.
I’m turned on by the urgency in how he presses his lips down over mine and kisses me like he won’t survive another moment without tasting me.
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his face toward me so I can kiss him back. Tom unzips my little black skirt, and I peel off my dark pantyhose and panties.
I relish watching Tom trace his eyes over my naked body. He takes off his shirt and unbuttons his pants, letting them fall to the ground. He takes off his briefs, and my bre
ath catches in my throat at the sight of his hard, ready cock.
Slowly, I lower myself onto my knees and raise my eyes to Tom’s as I take his thick cock into my mouth. He lets out a low growl of pleasure as I suck, pressing one palm flat against the wall to steady himself as I take him in deeper.
I enjoy the sounds Tom makes when I pleasure him; low, breathy moans that make me wet. He holds out a hand to pull me to my feet and guides me toward the bed. I lie down on my front and lift my hips.
Tom wraps an arm around my waist and pulls my body closer. Then, he pushes his cock into me. I bow my head and arch my back when he enters me, then press back against each of his thrusts, taking him in deeply.
Each hard, deep stroke sends frissons of pleasure through my body. I tilt my head back and let out a soft moan as an orgasm builds inside me.
Tom reaches around and rubs my clit as he moves inside me. The pleasure builds until I climax. I turn on the bed, lying on my back, pulling Tom down to kiss me. His skin is hot and flushed. I run my hand along his strong, muscular shoulders and part my legs.
Tom thrusts into me again. The next wave of pleasure comes quicker than the last. I take deep breaths to stifle my blissful cries.
He rocks into me, harder and faster, and I come once more before he reaches his own climax. Then, I lift my upper body and press my lips against his, holding onto the back of his head to keep his mouth pressed against mine in a deep, sensual kiss.
Finally, we draw apart, and I lie against Tom’s chest.
As the last of the sensations fade away, sadness sets in. Right here, nestled against Tom, is where I belong. Yet I don’t know how many more moments like these remain.
Tom
Everyone fusses over Laura when I wheel her across the threshold and into the living room, then scold her when she tries to move into her favorite armchair.
I wrap my arm around her lower back and help lift her into her seat, fluffing up the cushion Zoe bought behind her back.
Laura looks around the house, at the Christmas tree that wasn’t there before and the decorations we’ve put up. She beams. “The place looks great.”
“It’s great to have you home,” Zoe tells her. “We’ve missed you so much. Are you comfortable? Do you need anything?”
Laura lifts her hand. “No, honestly, I’m fine! I’m out of the hospital bed and in my own home. I’m on top of the world right now.”
“Don’t overdo it because you’re feeling good,” I warn her. “You’ve got to take it easy.”
Laura rolls her eyes playfully. “All right, Dr. Vermont.”
“Seriously, Laura; I don’t want you hurting yourself. The kids are thrilled you’re home, and that’s where we want you to stay!”
She opens her arms to invite me for a hug. I go over and lean forward so she can wrap her arms around me. She smells of the same perfume our mom used to wear; the wool of her knit cardigan is warm. I feel a tug of affection for my big sister. We’re closer now than we’ve ever been before.
“Thank you for all you’ve done, Tom.” She peers around my shoulder and looks meaningfully at Zoe. “You, too, Zoe. You two have done more than anyone could ever ask for. I love you both more than you know.”
Zoe smiles. “We wouldn’t do it for anyone who didn’t mean the world to us. Thank God you’re home and on the mend.”
Laura claps her hands together gleefully. “And in time for New Year’s!”
I raise an eyebrow. “What did I just say about taking it easy?”
“Screw that! I missed Thanksgiving and Christmas in my own home. I’m going to enjoy this New Year’s Eve. It’s a chance to say goodbye to hospital beds, and hello to more time with my kids and getting back to work.”
“You and work!” I grin. “You’re honestly worse than I am.”
Laura reaches out for my hand and squeezes it tightly. Her face is gleeful. She looks like she might burst with joy. “I can’t wait for tomorrow night. Let’s celebrate everything we have to look forward to.”
Even though New Year’s is going to be a quiet celebration between us in Laura’s house, she insists we dress up.
I put on the tailored dark gray suit I was wearing the day I left New York. Megan tells me I don’t look seasonal enough, and threads some loose tinsel around my shoulders. Jack finds that hilarious and puts a festive headband on me with two glittery pom-poms on springs.
They kill themselves laughing; Megan snapping photos. I wonder who’ll see them, whether the press will pick them up. For once, I don’t care. Time with my family is not a PR move. It’s just life, exactly how it should be, and I don’t care who sees me dressed up like a Christmas tree.
Zoe appears in the living room doorway, and I do a double take. She’s wearing a black dress with open shoulders and a low neck. She has on the necklace I bought for her, the pearl reflecting back the sparkling lights on the tree. Her killer legs are on show in black pantyhose and a pair of high heels. Her red hair is gleaming, brushed until it shines. She’s not wearing much makeup, only some eyeliner and shadow that makes her emerald eyes sultry.
She wheels in Laura, who she’s helped into a red lace-overlay dress, then comes over to me. She smells of sweet perfume.
“You look beautiful.”
Zoe twists the strand of tinsel on my shoulders around a finger and smiles, lifting her eyes to mine. “So do you.”
I take hold of her hand, and we stand together. Megan starts music playing through some speakers wirelessly connected to her phone, and switches on a mini disco-light on the coffee table, which sends circles of color dancing over the ceiling.
The adults crack open a bottle of wine. We all chat, laugh and enjoy each other’s company until it’s time to turn on the TV and watch the ball drop in Times Square.
I hold Zoe’s hands as the countdown begins, holding her gaze with mine. With the New Year only seconds away, I feel like we’re the only two people in the world.
I watch her lips count the seconds. “Ten…nine…”
“Eight…seven…six…”
“Five…four…three.”
“Two…”
“One.”
I catch Zoe in a kiss as the fireworks erupt on TV. I hear Laura and Megan cheering behind us and giggling when I sweep Zoe off her feet to kiss her, then put her back down.
Zoe’s face is flushed when we draw apart, but her smile is huge.
We all congratulate each other on the New Year, and then I ask if I can steal Zoe away for a moment.
I take her into the backyard. It’s a cold, crisp night. The ground is covered in a fine silver frost. The sky is bright and clear.
Zoe wraps her arms around herself against the cold. Her breath clouds in the air; her cheeks flush brighter, her eyes are sparkling.
She smiles. “What did you want to show me?”
“I wanted to give you something.”
I hand her an envelope and watch her open the unlimited airplane ticket I got her. She holds the ticket in her hand, looking a little confused.
I take her hands, catching her eyes and smiling brightly. “It’s unlimited, Zoe! You can see me anytime you like. I have one, too. There’s no reason we can’t see each other all the time.”
Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, but she kisses me softly. “Thank you, Tom.”
“What’s wrong?”
Tears spring to her eyes, even though she still smiles. She offers a little shrug and shakes her head. “It’s getting real now. You’re leaving.”
I wrap my arms around her and pull her close against me. “We’ll see each other all the time.”
“I don’t think you realize how much I’m going to miss you.”
I do understand. Every time I think of waking up in my huge, empty penthouse without Zoe, it breaks my heart. No matter how limitless the plane ticket, I can’t change the fact that New York seems a very long distance away.
Zoe
I place my bags on the floor in the hall of my own apartment, then look arou
nd and burst into tears. The apartment feels so cold and empty. There’s no life inside. Nobody is laughing. There’s nobody to talk to. I’ve never felt so alone.
Laura told me that I should stay with them until Tom returned to New York, but I couldn’t bear the thought of spending one more night with him, knowing it would be our last until God knows when.
I take out the ticket he bought me and place it on the little table by my apartment door, then stare at it for a long time.
The ticket was meant as a kind gesture; a promise that things weren’t over between us. I’ve been waiting for so long for a sign of commitment from Tom, and now he’s offered me one, it doesn’t feel like enough.
I realize that I want more than a long-distance relationship or some once-in-a-while romance that will never compare to what we’ve shared these last few months. I want the life we’ve been living; every day, side by side.
Anything else would be a step back.
I leave my bags in the hall and fall onto my bed to cry my eyes out. I know that there’s barely twenty-four hours before Tom leaves, but I can’t hold it in anymore. If I don’t let it out now, I’ll never be able to say goodbye.
Tom
The day I leave has come faster than I ever imagined. I still remember the morning I left New York; how much I’d resented the idea of wasting three months in some dead-end town with a sister I’d grown apart from when I could be working.
Back then, it was the promise of meeting my mystery online woman at last that had made the thought of returning to my old town a little easier. I could never have known that Zoe herself would be the one to feel like home.
Laura and the kids are ready to say goodbye. My pilot has clearance to take off in an hour; I have to leave soon.
Megan is the first to say goodbye. She gives me a big hug with tears in her eyes. I hug her tightly back. “I’m going to miss you,” she says. “Promise you’ll come back soon. It’s my sixteenth birthday in March. I’m going to wear my new dress. There’s going to be a party.”
