by Lisa Lace
“Do you want to take her out for a spin?”
“Sure.”
Vincent leads me into the body of the boat. The controls are inside on an inscrutable panel of buttons and knobs. Vincent flicks a switch here, pushes a button there, and the panel lights up.
The yacht appears as a little green dot on a screen in the center of the panel, lighted rings glowing from a central point in the middle of the map.
Vincent pushes a lever, and the boat begins to rumble. The deck vibrates, catching me off guard. Before I know it, we’re moving through the water.
The mountains move toward us as we glide, dusky orange and tufts of green. It looks like desert and oasis perfectly merge at Salt River. Vincent takes us out until the harbor is far behind. Other boats are mere pinpoints on the water. We’re completely alone.
Bringing the yacht to a stop, Vincent leaves the control panel to head to a fully-fitted bar at the back of the boat. He starts blending spirits in front of me, shaking them in a metal tumbler, and pouring the drinks into two martini glasses. He tops them both with a cherry and hands one to me.
“What is it?”
“A Manhattan. Try it.”
I take a sip, and it’s powerful. The alcohol is sweet and rich, but packs a punch. I feel even less steady on my feet.
Vincent laughs at my expression. “Sorry if it’s horrible. It’s the only cocktail I know how to make.”
“I like it. Thanks.”
“Shall we go back upstairs?”
I follow Vincent back onto the deck, and we sit together on a white-leather cushioned bench. The waters are so still that the yacht barely moves. Just a gentle, soothing sway.
Vincent lifts up one of the seats and pulls out a remote from the box underneath. He presses play, and music fills the air. It’s a sweet, lingering piano piece.
“You’re a fan of piano music?”
“All classical music, but piano particularly. This is Chopin, Ballade Number Four in F Minor.”
“It’s lovely. Do you play?”
“Yes. Classical piano.”
“I’ve never learned an instrument.”
“Yet you’re an artist.”
He rests a hand on my knee. My skin is cool in the breeze; his hand is warm.
“I saw some of your work online. You’re very talented.”
I blush and bow my head. My hair forms a fan over my face. My chest tightens when Vincent reaches out to sweep it back behind my ear. “I’m serious, Lily. Your work is beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“Then again, everything about you is beautiful.” He swills his cocktail within his glass and looks out over the water with a distant gaze. “You know, the high life can be terribly superficial. Everybody wants something from you. It gets to the point where you don’t know who you can trust because nobody is sincere.”
He twists in his seat to look me in the eye and wrestles with his words. “You know, I think that’s why I tried that silly app. I wanted to snoop on my competitor, yes, but I didn’t have to fill in the forms. I set my search for Payson because I thought someone out here might see me for who I am instead of who I know.”
My heart beats faster. I don’t know if Vincent is spilling his heart out or spinning lies. All I know is that when he holds me in his gaze, I feel like I’m the only woman in the world, and, out here, on a lake far away from everyone else, I might as well be.
He reaches for my hand, his thumb tracing my skin. “I don’t know how to say this without sounding completely insincere, but you, Lily, are the most real person I’ve ever met.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re sweet and kind. You don’t have a shred of ego about you. You enjoy life. You’re wholesome.”
I laugh out loud. “Wholesome?”
Vincent laughs at his poor choice of words and backtracks. “You know what I mean, Lily. You have a good heart, and you care about the things that matter. Not money, or clothes, or what your neighbor thinks. You’re real, and that’s so hard to find these days.”
“I’m sure there are lots of wholesome girls in New York.”
“I haven’t found them.”
I turn my gaze back out across the lake. The sun has set now, and the waters are reflecting the moonlight. The mountains are dark ridges against the horizon. The air has grown colder. My skin begins to rise with the chill.
Vincent notices and puts his arm around me. His body is warm and firm, and so real.
I think of Ethan, and it hurts. I don’t know what’s wrong with me because even though Ethan’s abandoned me again, it still feels wrong to be with another man after the night we shared.
“Do you bring all your Payson girls here?” I ask him.
Vincent chuckles at the accusation in my voice. “You think I’m a playboy, is that it?”
“No, I didn’t mean that. It’s just, I bet it gets lonely, traveling around for business. You must meet girls, a handsome man like you.”
“I won’t lie,” he says openly, “women are easy to come by. I don’t ever have to sleep alone.”
My heart drops, and I stare at the deck. Vincent turns my face toward him and looks me in the eye, his expression earnest. “But that’s not why I’m here tonight.”
“Then why are you here, Vincent? When you’ve finished whatever business you’re doing here, you’ll go back to New York.”
“Does that bother you?”
I bite my lip and look away.
Vincent’s voice softens. “I’m not looking for casual sex, Lily. I know my life is in New York, but that doesn’t mean my heart can’t be elsewhere.”
His words seem scripted, and could have been pulled from any one of my cheesy rom-coms. I drink them in anyway. I need to be wanted by someone. He’s saying all the things I wish Ethan would say.
“I’m sure a girl in Arizona would just make your life complicated.”
“My life is already complicated. What I need is someone who can bring it to a standstill, like you do.”
I almost roll my eyes, my voice barely more than a whisper. “You don’t even know me, Vincent.”
“I know you’re not like any woman I’ve ever met, and trust me, I’ve met enough. You were on Destiny too, Lily. That tells me you were looking for something.”
Britney shoulders past me and knocks my armful of books to the ground. She looks at the scattered textbooks, snickers, and walks on. Holding back tears, I drop to the ground and start to gather them up.
Someone else’s hand reaches out.
I look up, and it’s Ethan. A smile jumps to my face. Starting high school has given me the opportunity to see a lot more of my dorky neighbor. As kids, we used to play together in the street. My mom would look after Ethan when his mom was working late.
Once he got old enough to stay home alone, we didn’t see very much of each other, but we’d still occasionally sit on the little wall in front of my house and talk a while.
Ethan is terribly handsome. He wears his hair long, hanging in front of his eyes. Every now and then he shakes his head, and I catch a clearer glimpse of his green eyes.
We’ve always been friends, but I’m surprised he’s happy to be seen with me at school. He’s a junior, and I’m only a freshman. It’s only two years, but in high school, it might as well be a hundred. “Hi, Lily,” he says. “Tough day?”
I smile. “Britney’s a bitch.”
He laughs. “Yeah, she is.” Ethan hands me the last book, stands, and then holds out a hand to help me up. “Where are your friends today?”
“Sadie’s family moved, and now that Paula’s in different classes, I never see her.”
“Oh, that sucks.” He pats me on the shoulder. “How about I walk you home today?”
I’m filled up with butterflies fluttering so fast I feel they might lift me off my feet. “Okay.”
He smiles. “Great. See you then.”
“You know, Vincent, I’m actually pretty cold. Could we head back?”
>
I see the disappointment on his face, but he forces a smile and nods. “Sure.” He heads down to the controls, and I don’t follow. The yacht sails swiftly back to the harbor.
When we arrive back at the marina, Vincent moors up before joining me back on the deck. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine. That was a lovely evening.”
“Are you sure? You seemed somewhere else.”
“There’s a lot on my mind.”
“Anything I can do?”
I shake my head. “No. It’s just work.”
“Let me take you home.”
We return to the magnificent sports car that Vincent picked me up in. As we make the hour’s drive back to Payson, I keep glancing over at him. He doesn’t look at me, only pulling at the gearshift from time to time.
When we arrive back outside my apartment, he doesn’t ask if he can come inside, and I don’t invite him up. Instead, he leans across to the passenger seat and plants a kiss on my cheek. “Good night, Lily.”
Ethan
I sit at my desk in silence, the Newton’s cradle on my desk swinging and sending out an irritating clink, clink, clink.
Jennifer comes in to deposit a pile of papers on my desk. When she sees me sitting in the same position I was in when she left two hours earlier, she crosses her arms in front of her.
“Seriously, Ethan, it’s time you spit it out. You’ve been in a funk ever since you came back from Payson, and it’s not like you. What happened over there? What did Vincent do?”
I close my hand around the swinging metallic beads to stop them clinking, and raise my eyes to Jennifer who’s standing over me sternly. “Vincent’s the same fucking jerk he’s always been.”
“Uh-huh.” Jennifer takes a seat. “So you did track him down, then.”
“He was at the convention, but it was some pathetic little local fair. Nothing to write home about.”
“Just like I said it would be.”
“Exactly. And my question is, what was Vincent doing there?”
Jennifer throws her hands up. “Who cares, Ethan? Maybe he’s visiting his parents. Maybe he likes the local bakery. Why do you give a damn?”
I drum my fingers against my desk, then decide to let Jennifer in. “The reason I went to Arizona is because Vincent used Destiny.”
“And you’re pissed that he’s found true love?”
“He matched with my old girlfriend.”
“Which one?”
“Her name is Lily, and she’s not like the others. You could say we were childhood sweethearts.”
Jennifer’s face softens. “You’ve never told me about her.”
“We had big plans together, but I changed my mind and walked away.”
“People change.”
“She hasn’t. She’s still the same beautiful woman I left behind, full of life.”
“And Vincent’s after her?”
“He’s up to something.”
“You know he’s just trying to get a rise out of you to distract you from the defense contract, Ethan. Just let it go.”
“I can’t.”
Jennifer scrutinizes my face, trying to read what’s going on. “Is this about Vincent or about Lily?”
“Both. I won’t let him hurt her.”
“Ethan, with all due respect, I’m sure that your ex is a big girl who can take care of herself.”
“You don’t understand, Jen.” I lean back in my chair and run both my hands through my hair, letting out a long, pained sigh. “She’s not like us. She doesn’t play games. For him, it’ll be business. For her, he’ll be another guy who breaks her heart.”
“You really care about her?”
“Jennifer, leaving Lily was the biggest fuck-up of my life.”
“Then why don’t you just tell her? Win her back?”
“Because I’ve fucked up again.”
“Why, what did you do?”
I tell Jennifer what happened in Payson, and she shakes her head slowly. “You’re right. You did fuck up. Why the hell did you just leave her there, Ethan? What’s wrong with you?”
“I really don’t know, Jen. She’s too good for me, that’s why.”
Jennifer gestures around at my expensive office and premier view. “Are you kidding me? You could have any girl.”
“Lily’s not someone who's going to be won over by penthouses and limousines. She’s more than that. She wants more than that.”
“What does she want?”
I sink back into my chair. “Commitment.”
“Wow. What a bitch.”
“Knock it off, Jen.”
“What’s stopping you from committing to her? Now that you’ve kicked Lorina to the curb, you’re free as a bird. Go get her.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why not?”
I frown. “I’m not the person I used to be. I can’t see how I’ll make her happy.”
“It sounds like you’re making excuses.”
“I’m just trying to be honest with myself.”
“Jesus Christ, Ethan!” Jennifer exclaims. “This is the first time since I’ve known you that you actually care about someone, and you’re going to let her go because you feel sorry for yourself? Poor Ethan—too rich and important to get the girl. Seriously, Ethan, I love you, but you’re acting like a complete idiot right now.”
I raise my eyebrows in surprise. “Tell me what you really think, Jen.”
She leans forward, pressing both her palms against my desk, her voice pleading. “Ethan, please don’t do something stupid because you think you know how a woman’s mind works. Trust me, you haven’t got a clue. Remember how long it took us to convince you to give the Destiny thing a try? You’re the world’s biggest cynic when it comes to love, but it looks to me like it’s staring you right in the face. What are you still doing in New York? You’ve got over four hundred employees sitting at their desks doing nothing on your behalf. You might as well get your ass back to Payson and grovel to that girl.”
“What about the defense contract?”
“You might not be able to multitask, but I can. I’ll come with you to Arizona. I’ll arrange a temporary office space and a small team. We’ll keep working over there. You’re useless like this anyway.”
My face breaks into a smile. I can always trust Jennifer to tell it like it is. “Do you think she’ll forgive me?”
“You’ll have to go over the top to make it up to her somehow. I’d be fuming if some guy slept with me and then took off.”
“You’re not making me feel any better.”
“You said it yourself, Ethan. You fucked up. Now you need to find a way to make it right.”
Three days later, Jennifer has worked miracles.
We’re in Arizona, an office space set up on the outskirts of Payson. Key members of my team are keeping on top of the defense contract admin, and I’m available to give as many damn signatures as they need.
Jennifer has taken to wearing a headpiece like she’s working for NASA, and she’s been holding a clipboard like she gave birth to it. She’s got everything under control.
“Okay, Ethan. We’re onto the third draft of the proposal. Each department has a copy and is proofing for errors. The fourth draft should be with us by noon tomorrow. That’s the last one. You’ll need to read it and sign off before it’s ready for Healy. Next week, we’ll do the presentation.”
“I flipped through the third draft on the plane. It’s looking good, Jen, really good. I don’t want to be too optimistic, but I think we’ve got this in the bag.”
She smiles. “Didn’t I tell you it was ours?”
“Vincent won’t know what hit him.”
“Let’s keep it like that. Remember, you’re here for Lily, not for him. Don’t mention him. Don’t bring him into it. You’re winning Lily back, not stealing her from Vincent. Got it? You must take the high road here, or she’ll feel she’s being used, and Vincent gets what he wants. Just tell her how you feel w
ithout mentioning Oswald. Okay?”
“Right.”
“Go get her, soldier.”
Lily
I open the door, and rage rises to fill me when I see Ethan standing there with a bouquet of sunflowers. “Really, Ethan?”
“Lily, please, let me explain.”
“Explain what? How you slept with me and then took off without saying goodbye again? Now you show up a week later and think I should fall at your feet because you remembered my favorite flower? I’d rather you remembered my phone number and tried fucking calling for a change.”
“I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be, but I want to make things right.”
My anger rises up in my chest and comes out in a scream. “No, Ethan! I’m done with you. How could you do that to me? Do I mean nothing to you?”
“You mean everything to me.”
I put my hands over my face and turn around, pacing the floor. Ethan is driving me insane. When he’s not here, I spend all my time thinking about how he’s hurt me, and whenever I see his face, I know I would let him hurt me all over again. I’m in love with this selfish bastard, no matter how inconvenient it is.
“Why did you come back here, Ethan?”
“To apologize.”
“Not now! Before. You weren’t here for that convention. It was small potatoes compared to New York. I just don’t understand it. If you came here for me, then why did you have your fun and leave? Was it just for old time’s sake? Trying to remember if an Arizona girl fucks like one of your models? When you can have any girl you want, why come back here to mess with my head?”
Ethan steps inside without being invited and lays the bouquet on the side table in my living room. He sits on the arm of my sofa, facing me. “I didn’t come to Arizona for a one-night stand, Lily. I wasn’t here to have some fun. I came here to protect you.”
I let out a derisive snort. “Of course, you did. Protect me from what? The rising cost of living in Gila County?”
“From Vincent Oswald.”
My voice rises to a nearly hysterical pitch. “Are you fucking kidding me, Ethan? It’s not enough for you to break my heart, but you want to tear me away from Vincent too? What is it—if you can’t have me, no one can?”
