Oh, the company I keep.
Cameron came to find me a few days after the news had circulated around the castle of my scandalous visit to the baby doctor. I was playing mahjongg on my floor and Arthur swung my front door open, shoved Cameron in, and closed it behind him before I could say anything.
It still jarred me to see Cameron as a vampire, but he looked genuinely happy. I couldn’t stay upset with him if he was happy.
“Onee!” he said happily, grabbing me in a hug. “I heard you’re expecting! That’s so awesome, high five!” I high fived him and he joined me on the floor.
“Yeah, it’s umm… unexpected. To say the least.” I worried my hands in my lap and shuffled the mahjongg tiles around on the carpet. “I’m scared. A little.”
“What, you? Scared? Pffft. Don’t be stupid. You’re gonna rock this. You’ll be such a cool mom that everyone else will be like, ooo damn, I wish Lisbeth was MY mom!” Instead of making me laugh, I started crying. Hormones. Cameron instantly reached for me and stroked at my shoulders. “Woah, hey, I was just kidding. Being a cool mom sucks. You’ll be as uncool as a pocket protector.” He lost his funny edge and carefully pulled me into his arms.
I couldn’t speak over the sobs coming from my mouth. Was it really hormones, or was it that everything was still in the balance? I’d attended my trial but I was still a prisoner. Maybe I’d give birth in my rooms and they’d take her away from me. I couldn’t bear that. To lose her when I’d lost Knight too.
My sweet precious Knight. I killed you. I fucking killed you.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Can you tell me like you used to?”
Like I used to when he was human.
“I lost him,” I breathed finally, my voice scratchy with tears and my chest heaving as I gasped in a breath. “I waited four hundred years to find him, and I lost him. And now I’m pregnant before he’s cold in his grave. What kind of woman does that? He’s dead because of me, and I’m knocked up like he never existed. I’ll never escape what I’ve done.” Guilt I hadn’t realized I’d been feeling was starting to overwhelm me like emotional vomit. So much for acting like it didn’t matter that I’d slept with someone else. It did. It did so much.
Despite my tirade of sobs, Cameron chuckled and kissed my hair. “Silly girl. You’re not supposed to escape mistakes. You’re supposed to learn from them.” He rubbed my arm and sat there with me while I got my tears under control. “One time, when I was still a teenager, someone said something to me. I never forgot it. Know what it was?” I shook my head. “Everyone has regrets. It just depends on what kind. A decision you should have never made, or being denied the chance to say goodbye.”
I’d said that to him.
“I had debts from my time on the street, and I didn’t tell you about them,” Cameron continued. “They caught up with me. My debtors had me broken and bloody in an alley, and you fought them off, you protected me. I felt like I didn’t deserve your protection because I’d brought it on myself. It was my fault. And then you said that to me. You made me understand that everyone makes mistakes. No one is above them.”
I smiled at the memory until it faded back to sadness. “But I moved on. I moved on from my soul mate. What does that make me?”
“It makes you…” He broke off, laughing to himself behind his hand.
I sat back to look at him. “What?”
Still laughing, he said, “I was going to say it makes you human.” I couldn’t help but laugh with him, and I felt some of the pain lessen, like loosening the stays of a corset.
We played with the mahjongg tiles, with me explaining how the game was played, and Cameron trying to build a tower with them instead of playing. Every so often he would glance over at his old room.
“Funny,” he said once his tower was gaining height. “I keep thinking I can just go back to my room and take a nap or go grab something. It’s a lot nicer than the basement.”
“And you’re better company than Arthur,” I noted, putting another tile on his tower. Cameron smiled and picked up more tiles. “I’m still scared.” He looked up from his work, concern putting a wrinkle on his pale forehead. “I’ve never been a parent before. I never had parents. I don’t know what to do.”
He elbowed me playfully. “I doubt that. I was so young when I came to you, just 15, and you stood by me, Lisbeth. You were more my mom than my big sister. You raised me.”
I hadn’t thought of it like that, but he was right. I’d counseled him, given him boundaries, and made sure he stayed healthy. I loved him. That’s what parenting was, right?
“Then you should be calling me okaa-san, mother,” I said with a sarcastic smile.
Knocking the tower over, he grabbed my arm and whined in Japanese, “Okaa-san, buy me a popsicle!”
Not two weeks later, the Council called me back again.
Arthur came to get me, and with his hand firmly on my arm, we went down to the bigger drawing-room.
“Easy with the goods, darling,” I said gruffly, trying to lighten the mood.
“You’re quoting something, aren’t you,” he stated with annoyance.
“You are without a doubt the worst vampire I’ve ever heard of.” I flashed him my best pirate grin, but he ignored me. Dude had probably never seen a movie. There was always time to rectify that. “If I’m put back in prison, we’re having a movie night. I will book no refusals.”
His eye twitched and he adjusted his hand on my arm until I squealed in pain. “No way in hell.”
Batting at his hand with mine, I wiggled and tried to get away. “You’re so mean! You’re hurting me!” At that, he loosened his grip and inspected my arm to see fresh bruises the size of his hands. He’d injured me before, but his unnecessary treatment pissed me off.
I slapped him across the face.
“Ass.” I turned on my heels and walked through the bigger drawing-room doors by myself. The Council sat at the spiffy new Council of Evil table, all business and no smiles. Cozy little bastards.
My pregnancy had begun to show. I was a bean pole, making the bump look bigger than it actually was. More than a few of the Council members stared at my belly with unmasked distain as we approached them. Othello ignored me completely. Lovely.
Castilla stood up when we’d reached the center of the large room. “Elisabeth. It is nice to see you again. I see you are with child. Congratulations.” Her words were nice, but she had about as much excitement as someone picking out a tomato. A very boring obnoxious tomato.
“Thank you,” I responded. Arthur stepped up beside me, hands in front of him in a formal stance. He was still close enough to grab me if I felt like killing anyone, or whatever he thought I was going to do. Wildcard Lisbeth, that’s me.
“Elisabeth, you stand accused of disregarding your duty to slay any Lycan found within our borders.” If my memory served correctly, which of course it did, she was using her exact wordage from last time. “This is the second in our most sacred laws. To ignore it is punishable by death. Do you understand this?” Yep, she was repeating herself. Broken record? Glitch in the matrix? Oh right, I was supposed to answer.
“Yes.”
“We shall proceed.” She sat down and straightened her jacket. I was having a complete déjà vu. Had I traveled back in time? No wait, Othello’s shirt was different. “In our previous session, you mentioned something about the child’s smell. Could you please repeat what you said?”
The hell. I thought back and repeated my words verbatim, since we were all about repeating shit. “He didn’t have their scent. He smelled human.”
She looked satisfied, confusing me further. “Your words were the turning point. You testified that the Lycan child still smelled of human. Therefore, no matter what he will become in the future, he is still considered a human, and is worthy of our protection.” She stood up, starting a chain reaction of all the other Council members to join her. “As a result of your testimony, the Council has decided, after a vote of 8 for and 4 against, that y
ou are absolved of all crimes and may go free.”
OH MY FUCKING GOD.
These pissant tyrants locked me up for months on a technicality? Did it also take them five months to pick a new type of coffee creamer? How long did it take to decide on new shoes? Was there a giant stick up their ass? Affirmative on the latter.
And hello, since they’d been so undecided, what was stopping them from taking this verdict back? Hey, so, sorry about that, lulz, we’re totes going to execute you anyway because Bill here decided to change his vote. Turns out he hates children as much as he hates showers.
Even though I’d tried hard to mask my anger, Castilla paused to study me. “You are not pleased.”
Girl read me like a book. I faked a smile.
“No, I am absolutely pleased.” Lie. “I’m just a little scared you might decide you made the wrong choice in five minutes and lock me up again.”
“Our judgments are final. We never revisit a case that has been closed. You are free for the rest of your life. Unless,” she added with a tiny hint of humor, “you decide to break the law again.” Hahaha, what a kidder. You scamp.
The council stood staring at me for a minute, expecting me to do something. Thank them? Beg for forgiveness? Flip them off? One of them caught my eyes, and he nodded his head towards the door. Oh, right. They wanted me to leave. I thanked them and left the bigger drawing-room. Arthur was behind me when I stopped walking just outside the doors.
“I expected you to lead me out,” I commented, watching him shut the doors so gently they didn’t make a sound.
Turning, he almost shrugged. “You’re not a prisoner anymore. I have lost the right to hold you in your suite and oversee your movements.”
“No more arm grabbing?” He didn’t answer, he just walked away. For the first time in almost six months, Arthur was not within ten feet of me. I pumped my fist in victory. “Yesssss!”
I heard him hiss from further down a different hallway, “Keep silent, you imbecile! The Council can hear you!”
“What? I can’t hear you over the sound of FREEEEEDOOOOM– OH SHIT!” I ran before a quickly approaching Arthur could catch me.
The first thing I wanted to do with my freedom was spend some time away from the castle. If I had to look at my vanilla colored walls for one more day, I was going to fucking murder someone.
Sadly, despite the homicidal thoughts it incurred, I had to go back to my room to pack a bag. Sitting on my sofa was the duffel bag Olivier had given me when I ran away. How had it gotten here? I’d left it behind in the teal convertible when I went after Knight. Then I noticed a large sticker on one of the handles that said, ‘EVIDENCE.’ Of course.
The bag and its contents used to smell like Knight. I brought everything up to my nose, hoping to catch a whiff of him, but it had been meticulously cleaned. All my comfy earthy clothes were in it, and oddly enough, even though I was finally back to my designer wardrobe, I’d missed my old clothes. Maybe they suited the new me better. I found a small bag in my closet and filled it with the clothes from the duffel. My bird was singing to me as I worked, and when I was finished packing, I picked her cage up carefully and brought her with me. We trekked down the stairs, past a group of judgmental eyes, and to the parking garage where I buckled her into Excalibur’s passenger seat.
I was finally free. I just wanted to drive, and keep driving until I saw… something. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to see. Maybe I needed a trip around the world. A few months here, a few months there. Except I was pregnant, and that meant I was chained to my companions. I couldn’t leave town without them, and I had a feeling they weren’t going to say yes to a month in Bali. If I had my way, I’d just get new companions, the type that would obey me, but contracts, and legal things, and blah blah blah. I was stuck with Benjamin and Alfred until I gave birth. Then I could choose a new companion. Someone fun. Maybe an artist. We could paint together in my sunny living room and make smores over vanilla candles. Maybe we’d paint the walls of my suite together and turn drab to fab.
My bird was chirping happily from her seat as we drove into town. I’d fed already and wouldn’t need to again until dinner, leaving me with the entire day to myself. I passed by some town houses and I wished I could move into one and just live in town. Benjamin and Alfred could move in and we’d be far away from judgy bitches and stupid politics.
Who was I kidding? There was no way I’d be allowed to live in town. We lived away from humans for a reason, so we could live freely in our home. I couldn’t exactly take Zumba classes without someone noticing there was something different about me. I just hated living in that stupid castle. Maybe someday they’d be different. Maybe someday I’d feel at home again. When one lives forever, anything is possible.
Shaking the thoughts from my head, I parked near the center of town and took the birdcage with me. Nearby was the park I often walked in with Balthazar. I brought a hand to my small, round belly. A baby. My baby. Would she have dark hair like me? Balthazar’s hair was the same color, so it was a safe guess. His eyes were blue, mine were purple. What would hers be? Would she be pale like me, or peach like him?
Or… would she even be normal. What would she grow into? She could end up being a monster. There were enough legends about Incubi being evil sadistic raping demons, even if Balthazar wasn’t like that. Maybe he was just different than the others. Would my child be evil? I hated to wonder.
My bird started singing and I heard the same bird calls coming from the trees around me. She was talking to her own kind. I brought the cage up to my face and studied her little brown body. She’d gotten plump from the birdseed I was feeding her, and she stared back at me with a happy look. Should I just let her go? Maybe she’d be happier with her own kind. But then again, I’d had her since she was a hatchling. She couldn’t survive on her own. The other birds around us kept calling to her, and she danced around her little cage in excitement. Maybe she needed a friend?
I found the nearest pet store on my phone, another item from the duffel, and started walking in the direction my phone led me. It beeped with a text from Cameron.
‘Did you leave?’ he texted.
‘Just for a bit. I needed to walk.’
‘Crap. I should’ve given you my phone. I need to hatch my eggs.’
‘Eggs?’
‘YOU ARE SO OLD.’
I chuckled as I put my phone back in my pocket. He was such a nerd. Eventually, virtual maps prevailed, and I stepped inside the pet store. It smelled like sawdust and birdseed, and was alive with the sounds of dozens of animals mixed with the hum and bubbles of tank filters.
“Welcome to the store,” the owner said cheerfully from behind the counter. His skin smelled like lotion and kitty litter. He slicked his thin hair back and looked down at the birdcage in my hand. “Oh, look, you have a wild bird.” He was almost reproachful, but wasn’t about to toss me out and lose my business.
“She was abandoned. I have a license.” Both were true. Not that I cared what a human thought of me.
The store owner relaxed and smiled a yellow stained grin. “Lovely! So, what can I help you with?”
I set my birdcage on the counter. “She needs a friend.”
He then proceeded to list off perfect matches, and obviously he was suggesting the most expensive birds. He knew a high roller when he saw one. However, he made one crucial suggestion that I couldn’t ignore.
“Her cage is too small,” he added when he was finished showing me the birds he had. “Cardinals like to fly. She’s not a baby anymore, she needs space.”
I was back in the bathtub. I remembered the dolphins. Creatures that swam miles and miles of ocean reduced to a small pool. It seemed my bird knew my suffering. Longing to spread her wings but confined to a few feet of space.
My shoulders shuddered and I tucked hair behind my ear to chase the demons away.
The shop owner’s top choice for a companion was a Lovebird. He had one that had never mated and would be more receptive to a n
ew friend. It was a little purple and white bird, the same purple as my eyes. Removing it from the cage, he put it into a little cardboard box that had holes in it. “Are you sure I can’t interest you in a larger cage?” he asked slyly as he was ringing up the Lovebird. All the cages he had were metal and boring. His sales pitch would go nowhere.
“No, thank you. I’m an antique kind of girl.” I paid him and left with my two birds. We went back to the park and I sat down on a bench to do a quick search with my phone. I found some industrial looking aviaries like the pet store stocked, but eventually decided to commission a custom cage. I threw the idea and a large amount of money at the best designer I could find with the note, ‘Impress me.’ I probably made his day.
The thought of something new in my rooms gave me an idea. Maybe I didn’t need an unrealistic dream of traveling the world. I was pregnant now, so I’d be given a bigger suite. One I could make my own and maybe help erase my unease. I quickly texted Othello’s secretary/wife Marie and received a reply within a few minutes.
‘You’ve been assigned new rooms on the top floor. You can begin moving as soon as you return to the Order.’
Things were looking up. Finally.
7. Settling a crush
Even with the excitement of new rooms hanging over me, I still spent several hours shopping in town. I’d hired an Uber just to drive my birds back home so I didn’t have to worry about them. I instructed the driver to deliver them to Cameron, and texted him to put my new bird in with the cardinal so it wouldn’t be stuck in the box.
The Born Vampire series: A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance (The Complete Series, NSFW Edition) Page 23
