I gently wiped at the drops of sweat on his forehead and kissed along his head, in every spot I could get to, then I held him to my breast and let myself believe he was my Arthur again.
He let me hold him close like that for a very long time, until we heard the hotel door open and he let me down gently on my feet, separating our bodies, and turned to put his still semi-hard cock back inside his pants before leaving the bathroom. I took a lengthy shower, trying to wrestle myself back into control before I went back to the man who didn’t want me to look at him, and the one who confusingly just made love to me even though he still insisted he didn’t want me, just like old times.
Getting out, I dried off, got dressed, and exited the bathroom, trying to keep my eyes on the floor as I dumped my backpack onto one of the beds and noticed Knight had brought a few pizzas for us. One was already empty and it had ‘Knight’s pizza’ written in big letters on the lid, and the other one said ‘Vampires only’ that had a few slices missing, so I grabbed two and got onto the bed next to my bag.
“So you guys…” Knight said, gesturing with his piece of pizza. I flushed down to my toes and tried to focus on my food. Of course he could fucking smell it. No amount of scrubbing would erase our scents changing. Arthur didn’t respond, just kept eating, and I did the same, but I could feel Knight’s agitation over being ignored.
Did he care? I wanted so badly for him to care, but he’d told me to stop looking at him so I kept my eyes down and finished my pizza, tossing my used napkin into the bin beside Arthur’s leg. Then I got underneath the comforter and pulled it over my head so I could fall asleep, a difficult feat with them both nearby but not snuggling against me. I tossed and turned for an hour while the two men ate more and sat in an uncomfortable silence that made me want to slap both of them.
Finally, Arthur sighed heavily and my comforter lifted up, then he slid in behind me and pulled me against his warmth, his large hand resting on my hip bone. He held said hip just enough away where our lower halves weren’t touching.
“Don’t get excited,” Arthur murmured against my ear. “I just figured you needed one of us here so you can fall asleep.”
“She’s fine,” Knight deflected, mouth full of pizza.
Arthur’s hand curled on my skin and it sent a thrum of electricity throughout my body. “You obviously don’t know what it’s like to have someone in your bed for decades only for them to suddenly not be there.” My hand reached up to rest on his, warning him to back off before I got angry, but also because I knew it was my pain that brought Arthur to me, because he understood it. It was what drew us together the first time.
I heard Knight getting into the other bed before shutting the lights off. In the dark with my eyes adjusting, I rolled over to face Arthur’s chest where I snuggled close and spoke to him in German, a language we both knew but Knight didn’t.
“It’s just sex, right?”
He answered by pulling me closer and tenderly kissing my forehead, like I would break into a thousand pieces if he pressed too hard.
Balthazar in the mix
I woke up the next morning like I usually did, with a burning hot erection pressed into my ass. I was back home and Arthur was there with me, so I eagerly rolled over and kissed his lips, snuggling into him and kissing down his neck. Once I was done with him, I’d find Knight and fuck him against the kitchen counters before everyone else in our home got up.
Everything was right again, everything was back to the way it should be.
“Where are the kids?” I asked him softly, and he instantly went frigid, pushing me away so he could look into my eyes.
“What are you talking about?”
Oh god. I wasn’t back home. This nightmare was still real.
He watched the glow visibly leave my face until I was downtrodden and moved back to get off the bed. “No, you’re not going to walk away. What did you mean by that?” He came at me like I was his prey, which wasn’t going to help his plight, unless his goal was having me plastered all over him.
Thankfully, Knight was still asleep until my squeak as Arthur grabbed me woke him up. He snorted and sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What are you two doing? Go fuck somewhere else.”
Arthur didn’t flinch in his burning gaze on me, gripping my chin so I’d have to look up at him. “Tell me.” I shook my head and he dropped his hands, searching my eyes for the answer that I refused to give him. “I won’t fuck you again if you don’t tell me.”
My eyes narrowed at him and I tilted my chin in defiance as if I didn’t care, when I totally did. “Fine.” Stepping away from him, I roughly grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder, eyeing both men with a blank look. “I’ll be in the car.” I stomped out and wrenched the car door open, throwing my bag in before dumping myself into the front seat.
Fuck fuck fuck.
Why did I say that? Why did I believe, even for one second, that things had gone back to normal? Now I was on Arthur’s radar, and he wouldn’t rest until he found out what I wasn’t telling him. I let out a string of curse words and got out of the car, walking away from the hotel until I’d reached a patch of trees, and I said the words to summon Balthazar to me.
He appeared with a wide smile, and leaned against the tree in front of me like he’d been there all day. “Lovely to see you again, my dear. What’s got your nose so red?”
Desperate to calm my raging emotions, my fingers curled and uncurled on my dress. “I need you to stay with me. Constantly. I know you hate it, but please. I’ll beg if I have to. I need someone on my side, please.”
The smile on his face faltered and he closed the distance between us before I could blink, wrapping me up in a lilac scented hug. I gripped the back of his jacket so hard I was sure it would tear and he pet at my hair to get me to relax.
“I’ll do anything for you,” he whispered, kissing my temple gently. The words comforted me, but I wondered if that was true. If I asked him to love me, could he? Could I, for that matter. He was certainly warm and comforting against my body.
I pulled my face away from his shoulder, tilting it so our cheeks brushed and our lips were so close I could’ve easily kissed his. Underneath the unrelenting turmoil inside me, I felt a magnetic pull to him, and that was something I couldn’t keep denying.
This was why I’d kept him at a familial distance, because I knew it was there, waiting for me to discover. It wasn’t love yet, but it could be if it had enough encouragement.
Like a simple kiss…
I couldn’t risk it. If he pulled away, I’d have no one left. Cameron was set to leave any day now providing he didn’t become a vampire again. Olivier didn’t know about any of this, and my parents were half a world away. I longed for my aunt/step-mother Clara and her warm wisdom.
I pulled away from the Incubus in my arms and tucked some hair behind my ear. “Sorry,” I mumbled, hoping I wasn’t turning as pink as I felt. “Will you still stay with me?”
He started answering and had to clear his throat first. “Ye… Yes.” A noise behind me made him look up, and I followed his eyes to see Arthur and Knight by the car, waiting for me. “I’m guessing one of them is who you were waiting for?” I nodded, watching them look over at us. “One smells like you, the other bears your mark. It seems you’ve been busy in my absence.”
“All part of the plan,” I joked absently, holding my hand out and he clasped it tightly. “Come on, we have a planet to save.”
With Balthazar in the mix, he refused to let my other companions remain silent the rest of the way back home, but of course, his game was sex, and that was all he talked about.
He’d just finished regaling us about how he seduced a queen with very generous breasts, and it was even turning me on, when he stopped and tapped his hand against the front seat next to my leg.
“What was she like?” he asked, looking through the rearview mirror at the men in the backseat.
“Who?” I asked him, looking away from the road for a few seconds.
<
br /> “You,” he answered, still trying to catch Arthur’s eye. “The stoic one made love to Lisbeth. I’m curious what it was like.”
“What the fuck! You can’t ask him that!” I was about to run us off the road from trying to keep Balthazar in my sights and make sure he stopped talking.
His teasing grin made me feel like a melting icicle. “I can, and I just did. Does the stoic one feel like answering?”
I groaned and resigned myself to this humiliation, keeping my eyes firmly on the road. “His name is Arthur.”
What was Knight thinking about all this? Was he interested, or was he grossed out?
“It was pleasurable,” Arthur answered, and I saw him looking out the window when I checked him in the rearview mirror. That was probably as good an answer as I’d ever get from him, even if I’d blown his mind.
“How tight? Like a little, or virgin tight,” Balthazar probed, and I took one hand from the steering wheel to smack against him.
“I’m going to shove a burning pincer up your ass if you don’t shut up.”
When I was done, Arthur continued like we hadn’t interrupted him. “Virgin tight.”
“OH MY GOD,” I shrieked. “Everyone in this car is going to shut their fucking mouths or I will find something to plug them with.” They obliged, but I could tell Balthazar still had questions about my snatch that he was going to ask Arthur as soon as my back was turned. That is, if I didn’t kill him first.
After a few hours, everyone had nodded off and I plugged my phone in to play some music. Music was one of the things I’d missed in the future. I turned on my favorite song and started singing along to the words, remembering all the times my version of Knight had sung it to me.
“I like this song,” Knight said, startling me so I missed a few words.
I switched the song off and tried to focus on the road. “Sorry, I thought you were asleep.” We rode in awkward silence until I saw him in the rearview looking at me. “I’m sorry about the sex stuff. I know you don’t want to hear it. I know I’m repulsive.” I curled and un-curled my fingers on the steering wheel, turning at the right spot so we pulled into town.
Knight shuffled in the backseat and looked away. “Every time I open my mouth, I think of more things to ask you about the life we shared in your time, but then I wonder if it even matters.” It mattered to me. I wanted to say it, but I held it back. “How did you get me to trust you the first time?”
“A Lycan Alpha gave me his vampire teeth bracelet when I spared the life of a pup from his pack. You saw it and you swore to protect me.”
“You don’t have it this time,” he noted.
“No. He offered it and this time I refused. I don’t need a reward for doing the right thing. In my time, Lycans and vampires are allies. I will always treat them as such, no matter what time I’m in.”
He was quiet for so long I looked in the rearview to make sure he hadn’t gone to sleep.
“Your time sounds nice.”
I settled back in my chair, a grin permanently fixed onto my face.
We reached the castle at dinnertime and naturally we met opposition at the gate for having a werewolf with us, but my mark on him took precedence. The guards still accompanied us inside to Othello’s office for his approval of the situation, and he greeted us with a grin that fell once he saw who was standing next to me. Or what, I should say.
“Get that mongrel out of here!” he barked, flicking his hands to the guards.
“I marked him, he belongs to me,” I explained, watching with dread as Othello looked from me to Arthur to Knight.
He settled back on me and hissed, “This is utterly unorthodox. I do not condone mixing with worthless dogs.”
I straightened my spine and stepped up to him, staring him down. “Don’t talk about him like that.”
His gaunt face twisted in shock and he moved back with his scent stinking of fear. “Fine. I’ll allow it. But I do not appreciate this insubordination, Lisbeth.”
“I would like to petition a convening of the Council,” Arthur said, exactly like we’d planned. Coming from me, the Council wouldn’t listen, but Arthur was their top soldier for a reason. They trusted him. “In person this time. There’s something I believe requires their attention.”
Othello nodded, not for one second suspecting I was behind it. “Of course, Arthur. I will contact them and they’ll be here in a few days. I hope whatever is wrong is not pertinent.”
“Not yet,” Arthur answered, and he motioned to me for us to leave. We piled out of Othello’s office and waited for the soldiers to go back outside to guard the gate.
“God, I forgot what a weenie Othello is,” I said, rolling my shoulders in disgust. “All I had to do was say one thing and he shrunk like a snow covered scrotum.”
“I’m guessing he’s not around where you came from?” Arthur asked, following me when I started walking.
I bobbed my head, avoiding the question. “Let’s just say he did not last the night.”
We went up the stairs and found our way to my rooms. My senses didn’t detect Cameron nearby so I left the three men in my doorway and walked to Cameron’s room, finding the door open and the room empty of his belongings.
He’d left me.
I tried to tell myself that this was a good thing, that it was better this way. He was safe from the horror of my life, and he’d never be killed for me. I told myself that over and over until Balthazar’s hand touched my shoulder and I jumped away, hitting the doorframe with my shoulder.
“You umm…” I wiped my eyes and focused on the vanilla walls. “You guys should get something to eat. I’m going to take a shower.” I hurried off so they couldn’t see the tears getting worse and flooding out of my eyes at full speed.
I sobbed all through my shower, and by the time I was dried and dressed, I’d settled into that silent, depressive state that once encompassed me for weeks on end in these very rooms. Leaving my room wearing a simple dress, I saw Knight sitting alone on the couch playing a game on his phone. He looked up at me and I immediately dropped my gaze, pretending my arrangements needed straightening.
“You can look at me,” he said, making me drop some of the flowers. “I know I said not to, but you look really depressing when you can’t, so drink me in. All you want.” Turning with a flower in my hand, I did just that. I stared at him for so long my legs started aching from lack of movement. I drank him in like a glass of thirst quenching water. His deep brown eyes, his long black hair, the dark tan of his perfect skin.
I loved him so much. I needed him like I needed air. I always had. I always would.
Until I dropped my eyes to wipe at my cheeks, he held my gaze no matter what passed across my face. I looked back up and he was studying me, watching me, with as much curiosity as caution.
“Damn it. How am I supposed to react when you look at me like that?”
“How am I looking at you?” I didn’t think I was giving him a particular look, but then again I’d been staring at him like I had before, when he was mine.
“You look at me like I’m the only thing that’s ever mattered to you. Like I’m the last thing you think of at night and the first thing you think of in the morning. Like you’ll die if you can’t see me anymore. Like I’m the reason your heart keeps beating.”
Oh.
My fingers trembled so hard I dropped the flower onto the vanilla carpet. “I’d ask you to not talk to me like that if I can’t touch you.”
He got up from the couch and my breath left my lungs as he approached, stopping right in front of me, so close my breasts touched his stomach when I inhaled. Trembling, I held myself back, waiting as he lifted one hand up, running it through my hair, up my neck, resting on my chin that he used to pull me closer still so he could bend his head and hover right at my lips.
My brain turned to mush. The only thing that existed was Knight’s lips and his warm breath on my face.
Finally, when I couldn’t take it anymore, he lean
ed that extra distance and captured my lips with his. A groan escaped my throat and I threw my arms around his neck, curving my body against his, his passionate kisses scorching me from the inside out. Just as I was about to reach under his shirt, he pulled away, cutting me off from his warmth.
I felt stupid. Ridiculous. Unwanted. Emotions I never wanted to come from him.
My chest heaved, trying to catch my breath as he did the same. He ran a hand through his hair to push it out of his face, staring at everything except my eyes. I almost pushed into his head to see what he was thinking, but I was afraid of what I’d find.
He wanted me. I knew he did, but he didn’t want to. My love for him was pushing him away when he’d always led me to believe he would’ve loved me no matter what.
I only had one option now. I had to abandon getting my family back and I had to focus on my mission of stopping Alistair. Once I did… Maybe I’d become a dolphin again, because if I didn’t have the love of my husbands, my children, then I had nothing.
Clearing my throat, I smiled at him and pushed everything else deep down inside me. “I’m sorry, Knight. I’ve been pushing you and that wasn’t fair. You don’t have to kiss me again, it’s fine.”
Confused at my sudden mood switch, he looked at me like I was a crazy person. “Okay?”
Arthur and Balthazar walked in, letting me escape to my room where no one would tease me with beautiful kisses.
I spent the next few days alone in my room, feeling like I was in an endless torment, because I was. This was hell.
Accepting that I’d never get my babies back was worse than dying. No matter what I did, my heart refused to accept it. It longed for them, it longed for my lovers, it longed for my former life, but that life was gone, and I’d been chasing it ever since I came back. It was time to stop pining for what I couldn’t regain.
The Born Vampire series: A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance (The Complete Series, NSFW Edition) Page 89
