“Coffee, Becky?” Dorian stood up with a welcoming smile, glad to have her join them. He had missed her. They all had. They might not admit it out loud, but Becky had come to mean a lot to each of them. In her girlie little way, she had made the house feel more like a home. She certainly improved the view as far as he was concerned.
“Yes, please,” she said in that all too familiar husky voice that just about melted the insides out of Kell. God, he’d missed the sound of his name on her voice. She hadn’t spoken to him or even looked at him in days.
“Sit here, love,” Kell said, eagerly pulling out a chair for her. When she reluctantly came forward and sat down, he had to fight the urge to drag her chair closer to him so that he might take in her irresistible, bed warmed scent.
“Thanks…” she said, putting aside her worries about her pjs and sitting down beside him. She could feel his dark eyes lingering on her, and if she wasn’t mistaken, she was sure that he was leaning in a little closer than necessary. She heard him take a deep breath as though he were breathing her in.
Refusing to acknowledge him, she purposely ignored him, reaching out for a croissant from the plate in the centre of the table instead.
Right away, Crispin, the loathsome Goth, pushed the plate closer to her. When she met his gaze, he stared apologetically at her in a silent appeal for forgiveness. She paused before taking one, glaring at him before she begrudgingly helped herself. Dorian placed her mug in front of her and sat down in his chair.
“So, what’s on sale?” she asked, engaging the Steampunk, the only neutral party she had left in the house.
Dorian cleared his throat and smiled, relieved that she was talking to him, at least. “Um… quite a few things. Here, why don’t you take a look.” He passed her a favourite flyer of hers. “There’s a cute little Hello Kitty bed-in-a-bag set you might like.”
Becky took the flyer and frowned. “It’s very nice, but it’s a bit childish, don’t you think?”
The three Goths immediately stopped what they were doing and looked around uncomfortably. Something had happened! Something had taken a slice out of their Becky’s innocence, and they couldn’t help but mourn the loss of it.
“But you love Hello Kitty,” Dorian said with dismay, taking the flyer back.
“Not anymore,” she said with a tiny shrug of her shoulders. “I think I’ll just get that black set. That should make you all happy. Right, Crispin?”
At that statement, Crispin huffed and plunked his mug down with a loud thump. A communal groan sounded around her. She tensed and readied herself for the battle that was sure to come.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Crispin asked with a disgruntled frown.
She wished she could respond with all sorts of witty comments. Yet the first thing that came out of her mouth was anything but witty or eloquent.
“Oh, stuff it, you prickly Goth!” she shouted, challenging him with an icy glare.
Off to the side, Kelley couldn’t help but chuckle at her spirited remark. Dorian too, barely contained his snicker.
“Don’t hold back now,” Crispin groaned, not knowing whether to laugh or cry at her outburst. “Out with it, sweetheart. Do your worst.”
Too upset to see any humour in the situation, she suddenly filled up with pent up tears. Becky tried to fight the emotional meltdown that bubbled up through her chest, but the battle was lost before it even started. Before she could form another coherent word, her throat closed in, and she fell apart. Head in hands, she disintegrated into a blubbering heap of misery right before their very eyes. Great! Good show. You certainly told him, didn’t you?
“Becky?” Kell reached for her first, stroking his hand over her mess of curls. She wiggled away from him, not wanting his pity.
“Fuck… is all this because of me?” Crispin gasped, standing up in dismay, looking helplessly at his distraught little housemate.
“I think so, man,” Dorian said, wincing at the pathetic sight.
The girl was devastated! Crispin looked on, not knowing what to do with himself. It didn’t help that Kell was presently glaring up at him with murderous intent in his black eyes.
“Well, say something,” Dorian appealed to him.
“What… I mean, what does one say in these situations?” he asked, looking around aghast.
“Sorry, perhaps?” Dorian suggested.
With a heavy sigh, Crispin slowly nodded. Looking guardedly at Kell, he hesitantly approached Becky. He leaned in close and whispered something in her ear.
Without another word, Crispin left the kitchen and stepped out into the backyard. A moment later, Becky followed him. He sat on the old wooden picnic table in the morning sun, facing away from the house. She circled around and stood facing him, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Only then did she realize that she was still in her pyjamas.
“I’m sorry, Becky. You’re not dressed, and there’s a bit of a chill out here despite the sunshine. I just wanted a moment alone with you, away from the others.”
“I don’t plan on staying out here very long,” she said, wiping stray tears from her cheeks.
“Here, come in closer to me,” he said, offering her his hand.
She reluctantly took it. He wrapped his warm hand around hers and tugged her in close to him, placing her between his knees, effectively sheltering her from the cold breeze. “Becky, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you on Jax. I honestly thought you’d be good together.”
“Looks like they’ll be just fine,” Dorian said, peering out the back window with Kell.
“Hmm…” Kell grumbled, not liking the looks of Becky in Crispin’s embrace. Man, he’d have to get these jealous tendencies under control or risk Crispin’s I told you so taunts.
Looking away from Crispin, Becky self-consciously played with the sleeves of her pyjamas. “Why?” she asked tremulously, biting her bottom lip.
“Why?” he repeated, unsure of the meaning of her question.
“You made me believe that he really liked me,” she said, looking into his dove grey eyes. “Why would you do that?”
“Tell me what happened, sweetheart, so that I might better understand,” he pleaded, holding her little hands together in his much larger ones.
She was so flustered already that she thought she couldn’t blush brighter. But she was wrong. Her cheeks burned with indignation at what she would have to say to him.
“I uh… I mean Jax and I were kissing, making out in his car…” She paused at a loss for words.
“Damn it, Becky. Did he hurt you?” he hissed, his handsome features seething with menace.
“No…” She was a bit surprised that Kelley hadn’t explained that much to him. She figured they would have had a good laugh about it by now.
She took a deep breath before letting it all out. “He wanted to… you know, go further than I wanted to.” Right away Crispin tensed, believing the worst. “He stopped, though, when I started to cry.” She watched as he instantly relaxed his shoulders before nodding for her to continue.
“He said that he didn’t have time for… virgins,” she blurted out real quick. “I wasn’t worth the bother to him.”
“Bastard…”
“You knew that, though. Why didn’t you just tell him that… I’m a… that I…”
“That you’re a virgin,” he said it quietly but clearly without judgement in his voice. She nodded and looked beseechingly at him. “Because it shouldn’t have mattered. If he really cared about you, he would’ve understood. He would have been patient. He would have been willing to wait!”
How could he have been so wrong about Jax? He’d been in such a hurry to get them together that he hadn’t considered anything beyond keeping her away from Kell. “Becky, I’m so sorry. He obviously doesn’t deserve you.”
“Only I started to really like him,” she said, filling up with tears again.
“Sweetheart…”
“Then he just dumped me off at home like I meant nothin
g and drove off.” She paused for a hiccup. “Worst part is… I would’ve let him, eventually. Why couldn’t he have just given me a little time?”
At a loss for words, Crispin simply pulled her in for a hug. “I promise, I’ll never do it again. I’ll never come between you and Kell again. Becky, I was being selfish. I was afraid that if you and Kell got together that you two would eventually ask me and Dorian to leave.”
He was jealous of her relationship with Kelley. The idea caught her off guard. She hadn’t really thought about how a relationship with Kelley might change things. Besides, nothing had really happened between her and Kelley as of yet. She had a crush on him, yes, but he’d been quite adamant about not reciprocating the feelings until he lost it on Jax the other night.
“Kelley doesn’t see me that way,” she said with a pout. “You don’t have to worry.”
“Are you kidding me? The guy’s nuts about you. Just too stubborn to admit it. Oops… there I go again, getting involved in your love life.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. That’s what got us into this mess in the first place.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right,” she said with a reluctant smile.
“Oh, Becky, it’s just… I don’t have anywhere else to go. This is the only real home I’ve had all my life. The only place where I feel like I belong. I wasn’t ready to give that up. Now I’ve hurt you, and I’m so very sorry because I’ve come to like you so very much.”
“Really?” she asked skeptically.
“You’re my little dormouse. I’ve grown quite fond of you, even if I don’t always show it.”
“And you’re my sweet prickly Goth,” she said with a bubble of laughter. “I’d never ask you to leave, Crispin,” she said, suddenly needing to comfort him. She smoothed her hand down his wavy hair. “We’re not so very different, you and I. I’m alone in the world now too.”
“You’re not alone, Becky. You’ve got us. You’ve got me.”
“We’re a family, all of us, aren’t we?” she whispered. “You, me, Dorian, and Kelley.”
“Family…” He bowed his head and she heard a small hitch in his voice. “Yes… family.”
Poor Crispin, he had lived his whole life bouncing from one foster home to another. No wonder he was the way he was.
He lifted his head and gazed at her, blinking the traces of moisture away from his eyes. She rested her hands on his shoulders, tucking her cold fingers under the collar of his shirt for warmth.
“You’re cold,” he said, warming his hands up and down her sides. “Let’s go back inside.”
Becky nodded and backed away, allowing him room to stand and stretch. What an enigma he was. Awestruck, she watched him reach his long arms over his head. So tall and dark in his Victorian ruffled shirt and black trousers. He truly was beautiful to behold. Even though her heart belonged to Kelley, Crispin was not too far behind in her affections.
Catching her eyeing him, he winked and smiled crookedly at her. “Stop looking at me that way. Trust me, I’m not your type at all.” He playfully tucked her under his arm. “While I may be persuaded to give you a go, you wouldn’t appreciate it, girlie.”
She laughed and elbowed him in the ribs. “Because of the whole vanilla thing?”
“Yes.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Exactly…”
Chapter 19
“No classes today, Becky?” Dorian asked, watching her walk into the kitchen, still in her nightie, fuzzy slippers on her feet. “Aren’t you going to be late?” He checked the timer on the stove.
“Actually, no, thank goodness,” Becky said with a sigh of relief. “My art history professor gave us the day off to finish up our projects. They’re due next week.”
“Well, that’s a bonus, isn’t it?” He poured her a cup of coffee. “Nice to get a long weekend every now and then.”
“Yeah, that’s true. But I’m really glad for it because I’m so far behind on this project,” she said, slumping into her chair, overwhelmed.
Crispin and Kell came along then, all dressed up and ready for the day. Seeing her there, in her pjs, Kell frowned. He immediately stalked up to her and placed his large hand on her forehead. “You’re not getting sick again, are you, love?” Concern was all over his handsome face.
“Dear God, say it isn’t so,” Crispin bemoaned, looking over his shoulder at her.
“No, it’s nothing like that,” she said with a smile, loving every minute of Kelley’s undivided attention. “I don’t have class today. I’m staying home to work on my project, that’s all.”
“Ah, good,” Kell said, blowing out a breath, relieved to hear it. “Wish I had the day off.” Turning around, he placed two slices of bread in the toaster.
“I hear you, man,” Dorian said, sitting down at the table, checking the contents of his backpack. “I’ve got class after class today, hardly even enough time for lunch.”
“Yeah, well, such is life,” Kell said with a great sigh. “I’ve got all kinds of crap to do today.”
“Busy day ahead for me, too,” Crispin added, snatching a slice of Kell’s toast, the moment it popped. With a victorious grin, he slathered on a thick coat of blueberry jam. “Classes this morning, then home for a stint before our big gig tonight. What a joke that’ll be.”
“Get over it, will you?” Kell scoffed, claiming the remaining slab.
“Really? Can I come watch?” Becky asked meekly, taking her chances by interrupting them. Unfortunately, being so enraptured in their conversation, they didn’t hear her.
“Yeah, man, we’ll be just fine, the three of us,” Dorian added.
“You think?” Crispin said sarcastically, gulping down his coffee. “Easy for you to say. All you have to worry about is playing your drums. I have to sing and play lead guitar at the same time. Have I mentioned how much I hate having to do both?”
“Well, what choice do we have?” Kell asked with a withering sigh.
“Um…” Becky tugged on Kelley’s sleeve. She couldn’t think of anything better than to come watch them play. She hadn’t forgotten how incredibly sexy Kelley looked when he played his big black bass guitar.
Watching them play in a bar would certainly brighten up her weekend. It couldn’t possibly hurt. Besides, she needed a little cheering up. Ever since the Jax incident the other day, she hadn’t been able to shake off the melancholy.
“Ah, fuck, why do females always have a way of breaking up bands?” Crispin complained, absently staring in Becky’s direction. Catching himself, he gave his head a quick shake.
“What is it, love?” Kell asked with a furrow to his brow.
“Oh… never mind, it’s not important.” She shrugged, averting her eyes.
“Right then, see you all tonight.” Dorian gathered up his things and walked out the door.
Moments later, Crispin followed suit and took off, leaving Becky and Kell behind in the kitchen.
The moment they were alone, he turned to her. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Kell asked, still unconvinced. She had said she wasn’t sick, but something in her posture gave him cause to worry. Just to be sure, he placed his hand on her forehead again.
“I’m fine, really.” She leaned into his palm when he pressed it against her cheek. She loved it when he was like this. She was almost tempted to lie and pretend to be sick, just to have him look after her.
“Tell me the truth,” he said, looking into her eyes. He could tell something was bothering her.
Becky had never been good at hiding her feelings. She might hide in her room, but her feelings, she wore on her sleeve.
He really hoped she wasn’t still upset over that idiot, Jax. She hadn’t brought up his name since, and neither had he. God help him if she was still pining after the miserable prick. He wasn’t sure if he could handle that.
Unable to ignore the misery reflected in her eyes, he couldn’t help but ask. “What’s on your mind, love?”
&nb
sp; “Lonely, I guess,” she whispered at a loss. It was the honest truth, though. Who else could she talk to, if not Kelley?
“You miss your granny,” he stated softly, recognizing the sentiment behind her words. She nodded into his palm. “Aw… Becky.”
Grabbing a nearby chair, he sat down by her side and put his arm around her. If anyone knew anything about mourning the loss of a loved one, it was him. Years later and he still hadn’t fully accepted the death of his family.
“I don’t want you to be late for class, Kelley.”
“Never mind that. I’ll get there when I get there. What can I do for you?”
“I just feel so alone sometimes,” she confessed.
“Love, if you ever need to, you can come to me.” He caught himself before he could say what he most wanted, that she was more than welcome to sneak into bed with him like she used to.
It was during those times, in the quiet dark of his room when he felt he could let his guard down. They could just simply hold each other, and not feel quite so alone.
God, he missed that. He often wondered why she’d stopped coming. Maybe if hadn’t been such a bastard to her…
“I think I know that,” she said, blinking back a stubborn tear. “Sometimes, though, I just don’t feel like I belong.”
“Belong where?” he asked, stroking her wayward curls.
“With you guys.”
“What? But why not?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “You all come and go whenever you feel like it.” She paused for courage. “I never get to go out anywhere because it’s always dark out, and you’re all so busy. Other than back and forth to class during the day, I’m always stuck here at home.”
“I’m sorry, Becky.” Her admission cut him to the quick. “You know you can always ask me to take you wherever you need to go.”
“But I don’t want to keep bothering you.” She frowned, looking into the dark abyss of his eyes. “Besides, I don’t have anywhere to go. It’s not like I have any real friends other than you lot.”
House of Goths Page 15
