“Perhaps you’re right, but I think there’s something more.”
“Well, that’s where you come in. If you truly want him, you have to take charge of the situation and make it clear to him that he’s the one for you.”
“Are you sure you don’t believe in monogamy?” Becky asked with a reluctant smile.
“I never said I didn’t believe in it, just that I don’t practice it.”
***
As the days went by, Becky kept her relationships with each of them on the cool side, lest she inadvertently send them the wrong message. Kelley, on the other hand, all but ceased to exist to her. In fact, she couldn’t even stand to look at him. It hurt too much.
Not that he’d gone out of his way to be friendly with her either. As far as she was concerned, that was for the best anyway since all she could think about doing was kissing him. The sexy bastard!
How could he possibly blame her for attracting unwanted attention when he ran about the house like a lithe and powerful panther with his long flowing hair. Damn him and his narrow waist, lean hips and long leather clad legs. Did he not realize what seeing him in those mesh shirts did to her? He also obviously didn’t know how overwhelmingly sexy a silhouette he cut when all decked out in his ultra-Goth, militia-inspired gear. And, of course, that moody broody thing he did with his beautiful face, well, that was just unfair!
***
“What do you want to watch?” Dorian asked, flipping through the endless channels on the television.
“Who cares, just pick something,” Kell groaned.
Hearing the soft padding of Becky’s footsteps, all four Goths sat up straight, oozing with barely contained hope that she might finally join them. The house had been quieter than a crypt without the sound of her voice, the trill of her girlie giggles. Then, sure enough, her footsteps faded upstairs and they each visibly deflated.
“Okay, what did you do to her?” Crispin asked, having just poked his head into the hallway, watching her carry a bowl of cereal up to her room. “She doesn’t even eat with us anymore.” Quite frankly, he missed his little dormouse.
“Nothing,” Kell grumbled.
“Well, maybe that’s the problem.” Keegan smirked, instantly grimacing with regret at the murderous daggers in Kell’s eyes.
“Shut up,” Dorian said, shaking his head at him. “Will you never learn?”
“Apparently not.” He cringed. “Sorry, Kell.”
“Well, don’t just sit there, go get her,” Crispin insisted, refusing to acknowledge Keegan’s idiotic commentary. “This place sucks without her. In fact, it’s so dreary that I don’t think I can stand it much longer. You’re all getting to be quite the drag, especially you, Kell. To be honest, you’re sucking the life out me.”
“Look who’s talking,” Dorian piped in.
“Why don’t you go get her, if you want her so damn much?” Kell muttered from his chair.
Looking at him with disgust, Crispin warred within himself. He’d sworn never to get involved in Becky’s relationship with Kell after that debacle with Jax. Yet for some reason, Kell was proving to be just as cruel and unworthy of such a sweet and soft little girl. “What did you say to her? Damn you!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The hell you don’t!” Crispin shouted. “You said or did something that night. I saw the two of you, making out by the picnic table.”
“You son of a bitch!” Dorian frowned. “Did you hurt her?”
“Back off, if you know what’s good for you!” Kell warned.
“He must have, cruel bastard. Ever since then, she’s been avoiding all of us,” Crispin continued. “She hasn’t even so much as looked at you, Kell.” He shook his head, confused and angry all at the same time. “Here I thought, the two of you were as thick as thieves.”
“One more word…” Kell threatened, reaching the end of his rope. He knew exactly what he’d done and, yes, this was all his fault. Yes, he had hurt her and he was sorry as all heck, but there was no way he would tell them that. He’d only make himself look like a jealous idiot, even though that was exactly what he was.
“How can you stand to live with yourself?” Crispin continued, undeterred. “The poor little thing looked up to you.”
“Yeah, you were like her hero or something,” Dorian added to an already tense situation.
Looking disbelievingly at the three obviously enamoured Goths, Keegan, for the life of him, could not hold back his unfortunate opinion. “Geez, all three of you are way too invested in that insignificant piece of fluff.” Judging from the looks of disdain coming from around the already tense room, Keegan realized, too late, that he couldn’t have chosen a worse thing to say. Next thing he knew, Kell came flying across the room at him, followed by both Dorian and Crispin.
Hearing the ruckus from downstairs, Becky nearly spilt her cereal. Had a tornado had hit the house? “What in the world?” Putting the bowl down on the side table, she ran for the stairs. Were they killing each other? She winced at the sound of punches and shouts coming from the television room.
“What’s happening here?” she cried, staring baffled at the scene she encountered. All four Goths, going at it like fighting fish in a bowl. From all the black it was hard to distinguish one from the other. “Stop this! Stop fighting!”
Foolishly lacking fear for herself, she jumped in and started tugging at an arm here, a leg there. Somehow she found herself on Dorian’s back, pulling at his shoulders. Reactively, he reached over his shoulder and was about to flip her over when his steely grasp met with the softness of her small body. “No, Becky,” he gasped, immediately releasing her.
Stunned, she stumbled back and fell on her butt. “Ouch!”
“Baby, you all right?” Dorian asked, crawling out of the heap of tangled arms and legs to see to her.
“Why are you fighting?” she shouted at him, humiliated and in shock.
At the sound of the alarm in her voice, Kell and Crispin snapped out of their rage to look at her. Keegan, on the other hand, was simply relieved to have them off him.
“Becky?” Kell gasped in horror.
“Did you hit her?” Crispin shouted accusingly at Dorian. “God help you if you did.”
“I did not hit her! But I might have hurt her by accident,” Dorian responded indignantly, smoothing his hand down her back. “Did I hurt you, sweet baby?”
“No…” she sobbed, swatting him away. “What’s wrong with you? Why were you fighting?” she repeated, desperately looking around the room for an answer.
“Isn’t it obvious, Becky?” Keegan grumbled, slowly getting up off the floor, holding his hand up to his fat lip. “They all want you… but only one can have you.” He flinched away from Kell but forged on. “Heck, even I think I might want you.”
“I’m about ready to tear your fucking head—”
“But that’s not my fault!” Becky shouted, effectively cutting Kell off. “I didn’t even do anything wrong!” she cried out in defeat, looking from Dorian to Crispin, and finally Kell. She was so distraught that she started to shake. What a nightmare! Keegan nailed it. No matter how much she avoided them, ultimately she was still the source of all this strife.
“Crispin, you were right all along. I have no business living here.” She would ruin what they had, simply because she was a girl.
“Becky, please don’t say that,” Crispin said with a frown. “That was before I got to know you.”
“It’s true, though, this is all my fault,” she shouted, her voice cracking with emotion. “I’ve come in between you. I’ve ruined your friendships. I thought we could be a family, but I was wrong. I am naive and stupid. Just like you said, Kelley. You don’t want me here. None of you do. Even I don’t want me here anymore.”
Standing to his full height, Kelley could no longer stand watching her fall apart, especially when he realized it was all his doing. It dawned on him right there and then that staying away from her was not the answ
er. What she needed was a champion, a friend, and, yes, a lover. Not the judgemental jealous jackass that he’d become. At the sight of her tears, he couldn’t help but let his heart win over his stubborn pride.
“Fuck this shit,” he said, striding towards her, ignoring the others. “Becky, you are wanted.” Without further hesitation, Kelley picked her up off the floor and carried her upstairs.
Much to his relief, she didn’t even put up a fight. Instead, she did what came naturally, she curled up into his chest, exhaled and called his name, “Kelley…”
“I’ve got you, love.”
“Thank God,” Crispin said, resting head back against the couch.
“You got that right,” Dorian agreed.
“Fuck… that was intense,” Keegan added. “I’ll admit, though, she’s kind of growing on me as well.”
“Shut up, you!”
Chapter 35
Carrying her past her room and directly into his, Kell didn’t let her go until she was safely resting on his bed. Even then, he left her side only long enough to close the door and take off his shirt. He paused simply to gaze at her shaky little form. She looked so small and helpless sitting there, bathed in the blue glow of the moon.
Something about this moment screamed for a little skin on skin contact. As if reading his mind, Becky tugged off her own top and silently held her arms out for him.
Needing even more than that, Kelley crawled into her embrace, swiftly undid the clasp of her lacy bra and tossed it away. He held her softness to his smooth, hard chest and took a deep breath. She tensed for only a few seconds before relaxing into his enveloping warmth. “Let me hold you, love. Just like this,” he murmured, running his fingers soothingly over her back.
“Okay… but I don’t want to give you the wrong idea,” she confessed, still upset by the whole ordeal.
“Oh, love… stop,” he crooned, hugging her close. “I should never have said those things to you. You didn’t deserve it. It was wrong of me. Please, forgive me.”
“You broke my heart, is what you did!” Unwittingly, Becky burrowed her face into his smooth chest.
“Ugh… and in the process, I broke my own. Forgive me, love.” Smoothing his hand over her hair, he planted a kiss on her head.
“Am I so terrible a creature?”
“What?”
“My mere presence in this house causes such strife, such animosity between friends.” She gazed up, blinking her bleary eyes at him.
“Becky, no… I was being stupid, jealous…” He pressed their foreheads together and wiped her tears with his thumb.
“It’s true, even Gracie thinks it. She told me so herself.”
“Gracie? What the fuck does she know?” He gave her hair a gentle tug backwards to better look at her.
“Apparently a lot more than I do. I’ve been nothing but trouble. You should never have allowed me to move in here. Jax had the right idea. I’m not worth it. You were all better off without me.” Fighting her way back into his embrace, she sought the familiar solace of his warmth.
“Oh, Becky, have I fucked you up so badly?” He choked back a sudden sob of regret while cradling her head against his chest. “All I ever do is hurt the ones I love.”
“Am I nothing more than a possible conquest for you? All of you? Have I no other value?” Too distraught to process any of his words, Becky continued to blurt out her own fears.
“Sweet thing, stop…” he pleaded, feeling helpless in the wake of her self-destructive thoughts.
“I’m afraid I don’t know where I stand with you, Crispin or Dorian anymore. Do you even care about me as a person? Do my feelings matter?”
“Oh my God… I have royally messed you up, haven’t I?”
“Am I really alone in this world? Have I no true friends here? Please, Kelley, help me understand. I feel completely lost. I don’t know who I am anymore. My granny’s gone and I have no one else to talk to.”
Rendered speechless, Kelley couldn’t fight the gut wrenching pain in his heart or the tears that stubbornly leaked from his eyes. The only thing he could do was hold her close and listen. What could he even think to say that would come close to doing any good at this point? The poor sweet girl was devastated and it was all his fault.
Exhausted both physically and emotionally, Becky let out a heavy sigh. As much as it hurt to put into words, all her skewed misgivings and concerns, the fact that she’d gotten it out of her system did her a world of good.
“Sh… rest your mind, love,” he eventually did say when she grew weary. “You’re worth more than you know.” Smoothing his hands up and down her back, he pulled her in impossibly closer. He even went so far as to rest a heavy leg over her lower half.
She nodded, drying her tears in his hair before drifting off to sleep.
Lying there holding her, Kelley realized that this situation required serious attention. In mere months, he and his housemates had somehow taken a beautiful sweet girl and stripped her of every ounce of her self-confidence. They’d made her feel ashamed of her very own existence. When in reality, it was their own insecurities that had reared their ugly heads. His self-doubts and jealous tendencies had hurt her first and foremost since it was he who she looked up to. She trusted him and he had let her down.
Well, things were about to change. No longer would he place his concerns above hers. From now on, he would not allow jealousy to rule his heart. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late to build her up again to her former spunky self. It wasn’t going to be easy. In fact, it was going to be quite tricky and he’d be a fool to believe that he’d be capable of doing it all on his own.
Chapter 36
“So, there you have it. We’re all a bunch of bastards,” Kell explained, sitting in the garage, looking around at his devastated housemates. All were present even Keegan who had been warned with the threat of instant eviction, to listen and keep his opinions to himself.
“How do we help her?” Dorian asked with a pained expression.
“Treat her like you normally would. Be yourselves. She was quite happy until recently.”
“But where did she get this from?” Dorian asked at a loss.
“From me,” Kell admitted. “From Gracie, from all the fighting around the house.”
“What’s Gracie got to do with this?” Crispin balked, glaring accusingly at Keegan. “Everything was fine until he returned!”
“Say what you want, but you can’t blame this one on me!” Keegan shot back.
“Ask Gracie, yourself, she’s your girlfriend,” Kell said, ignoring Keegan. “Better yet, ask Becky. That’s the whole point. Each of you needs to clarify your feelings for Becky. As it is, she thinks we all just see her as a sex object, a conquest,” he explained, spitting out the distasteful words.
“Speaking of clarifying feelings, are you ever going to fess up and admit that you’re in love with her?” Crispin asked, having had it up to here with his evasiveness.
“That is none of your business!” Kell shouted.
“Umm…” Keegan cleared his throat. He couldn’t just sit by and listen anymore. “At the risk of personal injury, may I interject?”
“What?” The three of them shouted in unison.
“I’m no expert. I’m just an idiot like the rest of you when it comes to women, obviously. But I’m pretty sure arguing and pointing fingers will get you nowhere fast.”
“He’s right,” Dorian said. “We’re not helping the situation by sitting around here arguing while she’s all alone in the house. We’ve alienated her enough. What we need to do is go out of our way to include her in every possible way.”
“Poor little dormouse. It breaks my heart to think that she purposely avoided us thinking that we… that I… I can’t even say the words,” Crispin said, raking his hands through his long wavy tresses.
“That we’re all a bunch of horny bastards with only one thing on our minds?” Keegan finished for him.
“We’re pathetic, aren’t we?” Dorian muttered.
“Beating ourselves up over this isn’t helping either,” Crispin said with a sudden air of inspiration. “We should be thinking of ways to remedy this situation.”
“Crispin is right,” Kell agreed. “We can’t let her blame herself for our insecurities. She needs to feel welcome and cared for.”
“Right, we should come up with a plan,” Dorian added. “As a group and as individuals.”
***
“Skulking around with nothing better to do, I see,” Crispin grumbled, finding Kell staring into the fridge.
“Fuck off, you. I’m doing my job, taking stock,” Kell said over his shoulder.
Coming to stand beside him, Crispin glanced from the troubled Goth’s face to the contents of the particular tray he was studying. “She’s nearly out of cheese. Wouldn’t want her going hungry.” He snickered, giving Kell a friendly pat on the back.
“She does enjoy her cheese.” Kell couldn’t help but chuckle as he closed the fridge and leaned up against the counter.
“Seriously, Kell, when are you going to give up the good fight and tell her you love her?” Crispin asked, standing across from him.
“She knows how I feel,” Kell muttered, averting his eyes from his perceptive bandmate.
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Crispin scoffed.
“What the fuck is it to you?”
Crispin could only shake his head. The last thing he wanted was to get involved in Kell and Becky’s relationship again. He’d promised he wouldn’t. But he’d be damned if he was going to stand around watching Kell mess the little dormouse around with his stubborn evasiveness.
“What’s it to me?” Crispin repeated, aghast. “You just went off on how the poor girl is all fucked up. You want us to do our part. You know I will do what I can to reassure her that she means a hell of a lot more than a pretty little piece of ass. But what she needs most, is for you to step up and tell her how you feel about her. In the end, Kell, that’s all that really matters, and you know it.”
House of Goths Page 24
