by Taylor Hobbs
“I will. I promise I will.”
“Good. That starts with visiting Jack at the hospital. But first, you need to clean up.” Remy nodded meekly and allowed herself to be tugged from the cottage. “Where exactly do you shower around here?”
Without a word, Remy pointed over to the well, and the bucket sitting on top of the cover. Anita rolled her eyes. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“It isn’t so bad…”
“Once you aren’t so disgusting, you and I are going to have a sit down, come-to-Jesus chat about everything. I know you said that this place was a fixer-upper, but now that I see it, I just have to ask, what on earth possessed you to buy this heap?”
“It’s coming along.” Remy defended her village. “You just can’t see my vision.”
“You are living like a hobo up in the mountains! When are you going to have an actual house?”
“I’m moving into the cottage, as soon as I fix it up. It’s my favorite.”
“Yeah? And what about the rest of this? What are you going to do with all these extra buildings and so much space? It is like one giant code violation. How are you getting any of your painting done?”
Remy didn’t want to tell her, almost as if by saying it out loud she was setting herself up for failure, but she needed Anita to understand. “I’m turning it into an art school.”
“You think people are going to want to come stay here?”
“I want to turn it into an intensive program. For children like me whose parents have no idea what to do with them.”
Anita’s eyes widened. “Do you have any idea what a place like that would cost to run?”
“Sort of,” Remy confessed.
“And are parents paying for their kids to attend your ‘school’?”
“Well, I was thinking it could be an outreach program. With scholarship funds for the kids who deserve to come but can’t afford it.”
“Okay, I doubted your sanity before—you disappeared for two days—but now I know you’re crazy.”
“What’s wrong with my idea?” Remy demanded.
Anita considered her words carefully before speaking. “I just don’t think you’re in the best place right now to take something like this on. Especially when it involves kids…”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, how is your next collection coming? Have you started? You need to be honest with me. I’m your agent and pretty much the only person in your court right now.”
“I told you, this place is inspiring me—”
“You aren’t even painting right now, Remy! How are you going to teach when you can’t even do?”
That very thought had been haunting Remy, but she liked living in the land of denial. “I’ll get back to it, I know it.”
“And meanwhile, what am I supposed to do?” Anita demanded. “You aren’t selling anything new, which means neither you or I are making any money. How long until you run out of cash? Are you even going to make a dent in the repairs with the money you have access to?”
Remy’s fingers clutched her temples. “Stop! Just stop! Why did you come here to attack me?”
“I’m not attacking you, Remy. I just want you to be realistic and see this for what it is. Your little project almost killed Jack. It’s a time and money suck, and it is preventing you from working on your art. You’re never going to get this place up and running, much less as a scholarship program so you can be ‘pretend mom’ to a bunch of needy kids. This isn’t the life you’re supposed to be leading. Why are you so determined to fuck everything up?”
“Fuck everything up?” Remy’s anger surged. “I thought you were happy for me. That you understood why I needed to get away and start over. You’re my best friend, and you’re supposed to be supportive—”
“Well, I guess I stopped being supportive when I spent all day yesterday taking care of your ex-husband in a foreign country while you were lost doing God-knows-what.” Anita’s voice softened as she changed tactics and continued. “Seeing you this morning, girl, I’m worried. Not gonna lie. I really don’t think you’re in the best place right now to be here alone, physically or mentally.”
Remy opened her mouth to argue, but she couldn’t think of an effective retort. What leg did she have to stand on, really? She hadn’t even known what day it was when she woke up this morning. It had been a month and she had yet to paint anything. The entire village was one big liability, as evidenced by Jack’s injuries. Was Anita right to question everything? Did it take someone with an outsider’s perspective to see what was really happening here? I’m in too deep, Remy decided. Too deep to see the truth, but also too deep to back out now. “I just know that I’m supposed to be here, Anita.”
“Then you aren’t living in the real world.”
“Maybe not,” Remy conceded. “And maybe you’re right, about all of it. But I won’t know for sure until I’ve tried. I need more time.”
“I want you to come back to the States with me and Jack. I can’t leave you here knowing that you’re like…this. So lost.”
“Are the doctors going to let Jack travel home soon?” Remy felt relief at that for two different reasons—one, because Jack was okay, and two, because Anita and Jack would leave soon, and she could be alone in her village again.
“In a few days, maybe a week, depending on how he does on the follow up tests. He says he wants his leg surgeries done in the U.S. You would know all of this if you showed up and talked to him. He’s been asking for you. I’ve had to dodge so many of his questions. He deserves better than how you’ve treated him, Remy.”
Really? Anita wants to start in on this now? “I already feel guilty enough that I walked out yesterday. I mean, two days ago. I’ll go see him today.”
“I don’t just mean the accident, Remy. I mean the whole thing. You should have seen him back home. He’s been a wreck. I know you won’t even talk about the divorce with me, but you need to give him some answers.”
Remy bristled at being ordered around more. “It’s complicated.”
“I just hate to see him hurting so much.”
He’s hurting so much? What about me? I am too! Remy wanted to scream. He wouldn’t even be here and hurt if you hadn’t opened your big mouth and told him where I was! But now was not the time to open that can of worms, especially because Anita looked done dealing with Remy’s shit.
“Clean yourself up,” Anita said. “I’ll be in the car. You know, the one I rented to drive all over the place looking for you.”
Message received. Remy was in no position to argue with her friend anymore. She changed into some clean clothes after washing off at the well and started to head up to the driveway. Unable to help herself, she turned around to give the cottage one last, confused look. Before she left, she had to know if anything had been changed, if there was truly any evidence of Bieito and his family living there.
Remy entered the cottage again, fully expecting to find at least a shred of proof. Last time she’d talked to Bieito, the door on the main house turned red. He would have left me a sign.
There was nothing. The cottage was still as empty as it had been this morning when Remy woke up.
“Seriously?” she said out loud. No hints of her evening and no clues to understand why. “Fine.” She slammed the cottage door shut and walked through the square. As always, the red door taunted her. My books! she remembered. They were still stacked on the front porch of the main house from when she had talked with Sebastian.
“Hurry up Remy!” she heard Anita call.
Considering all the damage that had already been done to the books, Remy couldn’t very well leave them out in the open again. There looked like more rain on the horizon, maybe even a summer storm. She stacked up her treasures and walked them to the car.
“What are those?”
“Reading material. For when I’m stuck at the hospital and Jack is asleep.”
Anita cocked an eyebrow and pursed her lips at Remy’s ch
oice of words but didn’t press further. In fact, the two friends hardly exchanged a word on the half an hour drive to Coruña.
When Anita pulled into the hospital parking lot and killed the engine, she seemed to be waiting for Remy to make the first move. When Remy remained in her seat, Anita sighed and turned to her.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you this morning. But you have to understand. I’m worried about the choices you are making lately. I know you need my help with Jack, but you have to show that you’re trying, too. Otherwise it is just too hard.”
Remy nodded. “I will. I promise. I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t around.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Anita said. “I don’t know if I’m helping, or helping you fall apart. You might be better off if I wasn’t here…”
Desperation struck Remy. “No, please! I need you here. Jack needs you. I’ll do better.”
“Well, that starts with you getting out of the car.”
“Oh, right.”
****
Jack was awake when the women walked into his room, and more alert than Remy had anticipated. He managed to give them a wry smile, but it was Anita to whom he spoke first. “So, you managed to find her, I see.”
He didn’t sound confused or concussed to Remy, until Anita continued the conversation. “And what’s her name?”
There was a long pause as Jack struggled to come up with the answer. “She’s my wife. My ex-wife.”
“But what’s her name, Jack?” Anita gently prompted.
Oh my God, Remy thought. Answer her! You know my name!
“Remy!” Remy blurted out.
Anita spun around to her. “You’re supposed to let him answer. Details and memories might be slow and fuzzy for a little while, but he needs to practice recalling them. He will get better every day, but you can’t just answer things for him.”
Remy might have been in the wrong, but Jack looked relieved to have an answer, and rested back onto his pillows with a sigh. “Remy,” he said. “Where did you go?”
“I, uh, had to go home for a while. I’m sorry I took so long, Jack. I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better, though.”
“I think it’s the drugs,” he said, and gave her a wink. It reminded Remy so much of when they were married that it hit her like a punch in the gut. The guilt from avoiding him, and the guilt that overwhelmed her when she got too close to him were fighting it out in her consciousness. It was too hard to know which was the right choice. Staying, and staying away, both felt wrong.
But you’re here now, so suck it up, she told herself.
“There was something I wanted to ask you,” he said, motioning for Remy to come closer. “I was wondering if you would—”
Remy interrupted his question, sensing that it was leading down a road she wasn’t prepared to deal with yet. “Do you remember what happened at the village, Jack? With the accident?”
Jack’s face twisted into a grimace, as if the memory caused him physical pain. “I remember that I wanted to help you. To prove…something…important. Then I was inside a house. An old house. I thought it was empty, but I heard noises farther back. Like people talking, or fighting. So I followed it. Then I heard a loud noise, like a crack. I felt something heavy hit me.”
Remy’s heart started to pound. “You heard people talking in my village? What did they say?”
“Be careful not to push him, Remy,” Anita warned.
Jack’s brow furrowed. “I don’t know.”
“You couldn’t understand them?”
“I don’t remember.”
“Did you see anyone?”
“No,” Jack said, closing his eyes. “I don’t remember. The next thing I remember was waking up here. My body hurts.”
Anita held Jack’s hand. “You need to rest. Get better. Otherwise you won’t be allowed to travel home.”
“But—” Remy protested, and Anita cut her off with a meaningful glare. Jack heard voices? In the main house? That didn’t make sense. No one else should have been there. No one else, including Jack. He shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
What was going on with her village? If Jack had experienced some weird stuff too, then maybe it wasn’t all in Remy’s head. Her mind started to spin with possible explanations, but each one sounded more far-fetched than the last. There really was no way to explain what had been happening to her, but Remy knew one thing for sure—the answers lay within the property itself.
Everything led back to the village. She hadn’t experienced anything out of the ordinary anywhere else in Spain. The instances of weird occurrences were when she was alone among the buildings.
Remy felt a burst of hopeful energy shake the last of her hangover away. She felt more alert than she had in hours, filled with new determination to find a real explanation. Of course, there was always the chance she was completely wrong, taking the word of a severely concussed and injured man as the only additional evidence to her own experiences.
“I’m tired, Remy,” Jack mumbled, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry. I can’t remember what you need me to remember.”
“Oh Jack, it’s okay. Rest for a few more days, and then you’ll be on a plane home before you know it. You’ll be up walking again in no time.”
“And you’ll come with me? You won’t leave me alone?”
Remy didn’t know what to say to that. She didn’t want to coddle him but didn’t know how to let him down gently. She was almost one hundred percent sure now that she wasn’t going to be leaving with him. She settled for dodging the point. “You won’t be alone.” It wasn’t a lie, per se, because Anita would technically be with him.
Anita, however, seemed to visibly relax at her words, no doubt misinterpreting them as Jack did. She reached over to give Remy a half-hug with one arm, her other hand still grasping Jack’s. “You’re making the right decision,” she whispered to Remy. “Jack needs you.”
Is it technically a lie? I still have a week to break it to them gently that I’m not going, Remy reassured herself. There was no point in getting everyone worked up about it now. Maybe if she got a grip on everything in the next few days—her painting, her career, the renovation—the rest of her life would fall into place. That won’t happen, though, until I stop seeing things that aren’t there and disappearing for days a time. But if I can figure out why it’s happening, then I can fix it.
Unable to sit still, Remy jumped up and began pacing the room. Jack’s eyes tracked her, but he didn’t ask any more questions. She wanted to go research her village right now and get answers, and the hospital walls felt like they were closing in on her again. Jack was being taken care of, and there was nothing she could really do here anyway. All she could do was sit and stare at him, which didn’t feel very productive.
“Remy, don’t you have some books out in the car that you brought to read to Jack?” Anita prompted.
“They’re in Spanish,” Remy said. Anita just gave her a bewildered stare but dropped the subject. Remy was unable to think of anything else to talk about, especially because she couldn’t pester Jack about the accident, so she paced in silence until Anita grew exasperated.
“Remy, will you go pick us up some lunch, please? I’m sure Jack could use a change from the hospital food, and you’re keeping him from resting right now.”
“She’s not,” Jack mumbled. His eyes were closed, but he wasn’t asleep. Remy’s energy could not be contained in that little room, and even the patient felt her stimulating effect.
“Okay,” Remy agreed, and held out her hand.
“What do you need? Money?” Anita asked, looking offended.
“No, your car keys.”
Anita fished them out of her purse. “Come right back, okay?”
“I will,” Remy said, with every intent to fulfill her promise.
Once Remy left the hospital, though, all thoughts of food flew out the window. The need to know about her village consumed her. There didn’t seem to be any real ans
wers in the village itself, just more riddles. Remy decided she would have to change tactics. I’ll drive and take Maggie the books.
For whatever reason, this seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do at the time. Later, when Anita made her opinion known over the phone while Remy was in Madrid, it would seem like a less brilliant plan. Remy ended up using her last chance with Anita without a second thought, and the scary part was, she didn’t even feel that bad about it.
They are trying to convince me to abandon my home, she rationalized. Remy wasn’t going to give up that easily, not until she knew for sure what was happening to her. Like adopting a stray dog from the shelter, Remy couldn’t just abandon her village at the first sign of trouble. The place itself might be a little more complicated than she originally thought, and Remy needed to be equipped to deal with it.
Driving south, Remy remembered seeing this countryside for the first time with Maggie. Jet-lagged, confused, and trusting a stranger to bring her home. If she had known then what a headache the village would bring, would she have done everything the same? Yes. Even more so now, because now Remy had a puzzle to solve. Once I figure it out, it will all fall into place and things won’t be so hard anymore. The balance will be restored. First, she would find out what the village wanted, and then there would be no more obstacles for her art school.
Mostly, Remy needed to find the true explanation for her mental breaks. In her experience, artists were not the most stable of the general populace. Over the years, Remy had lost friends to suicide, depression, and drugs. She was determined not to go over that edge, no matter how frustrated she was with her art, or how disappointed she was in herself for causing pain to others. Even through her darkest days, Remy had been able to hold onto her sense of self. The thought that that part of her was disappearing terrified her.
Taking responsibility for her mental health was the most important step in making sure she didn’t spiral. And that’s what she was doing now by driving to Madrid—taking responsibility, for her village, for what happened to Jack, and for her own well-being.
