‘No one’s against him,’ Sergeant Jefferson insisted. ‘We’re all in this together, and we’d all give him a chance, if he didn’t go round putting people’s backs up.’ His mouth set in a grim line. ‘Not sure anyone will give him the time of day now, though. Not after what he said about poor Alan.’
‘Hmm.’ Grace agreed with the soldier, but she couldn’t help feeling sorry for Tommo, too. She knew that underneath his tough exterior he had a good heart. He liked Alan, and once he’d got over his upset and disappointment, he would be sorry that he’d hurt his friend.
When they returned an hour later, Grace was aware of a change of atmosphere on the ward. She paused in the doorway, frowning. Something had happened, but she wasn’t sure what.
It was Sergeant Jefferson who noticed it first.
‘Will you look at that?’ He nodded towards Tommo’s bed.
Grace looked, and for a moment she couldn’t believe her eyes. Alan was sitting – actually sitting – at Tommo’s bedside. Tommo was lying there, facing in the opposite direction, staring into space, seemingly unaware of his friend’s hand resting on his shoulder.
‘How did he get there, I wonder?’ She spoke her thoughts aloud.
‘Someone must have helped him,’ Sergeant Jefferson replied.
‘Actually, they didn’t,’ Miss Wallace said as she hurried past. ‘Would you believe, he walked those few steps by himself? We were all speechless. It was like witnessing a miracle.’
‘I’ll bet.’ Sergeant Jefferson shook his head. ‘Would you credit it, Nurse? That’s the first time I’ve ever seen him get out of bed.’
Grace watched Alan, tenderly patting his friend’s shoulder, his expression full of concern. ‘Perhaps he’s never had a good enough reason before?’ she said.
Chapter Forty-Seven
‘MARRIED?’ HER GRANDMOTHER said flatly. ‘You’re getting married?’
‘You don’t look very pleased about it,’ Millie said.
‘Yes, of course I am, my dear. If that’s what you want. I’m just rather – surprised, that’s all.’
‘I don’t know why. You know how often Teddy’s been calling lately.’
‘Yes, but I didn’t realise things had progressed this far. Not to the point where you’ve discussed marriage.’
‘Well, they have.’ Millie reached for Teddy’s hand, for reassurance as much as anything. He smiled encouragingly back at her. He was going to be her husband, she thought with a slight sense of shock. She had been engaged for less than twelve hours, and she was still getting used to the idea.
‘So I see.’ Lady Rettingham looked from Teddy’s face to Millie’s and back again. ‘Well, in that case, I’m delighted for both of you.’ She gave Millie one of her rare smiles of approval. ‘When were you thinking of getting married?’
‘As soon as possible,’ Millie said promptly. ‘Next week, perhaps?’
‘Next week?’ Her grandmother’s smile froze. ‘Oh, no, my dear, I don’t think so. These things take time to arrange if they’re to be done properly. It will take at least a month to arrange for the banns to be read in church …’
‘Yes, but we don’t need to do all that, do we?’ Millie said with a touch of desperation. ‘Surely we could just get a special licence at a register office? Couples do it all the time these days.’
‘Only if they’re in a particular hurry,’ Lady Rettingham said. ‘If they’re called up for service, or if they – have to marry.’ Her lip curled with distaste. ‘And I’m sure we don’t want anyone thinking that there’s a reason for you to marry in such indecent haste.’
Her questioning gaze fell on Millie’s waistline.
‘Of course not!’ Millie laid her hand over the flatness of her stomach. ‘I just thought it would be best, that’s all. We don’t really need a lot of fuss, do we?’
‘It’s your wedding. Why shouldn’t you make a fuss?’
Millie frowned at her grandmother. Wasn’t it enough for her that they were getting married, without having to go through all this rigmarole, too?
She glanced at Teddy for his support, but he simply shrugged and said, ‘Your grandmother is quite right, darling. Why not wait and make an event of it? After all, it’s not every day one gets married, is it? And I’m sure my mother and father will want to make something of the day, especially as they probably never thought it would happen!’
His expression was so bright and hopeful, it took a moment for Millie to remember that this was her second marriage but Teddy’s first. Of course he would want a big wedding.
She had been looking at it all wrong. It wasn’t just rigmarole, it was a cause for celebration.
‘Of course,’ she said, summoning a smile. ‘We’ll wait, and make it a day to remember.’
Millie was grooming her horse in the stable yard. William watched her from the window of the briefing room, drinking in the sight of her. There had been times during the previous night when he wasn’t sure he would ever see her, or anyone else, again.
He had already closed his mind to what had happened. He’d already had to relive it once before his superiors in the briefing room, going through the technical details of the incident: the flak that tore the heart out of the plane, how they’d limped back over France, before he’d managed to bring her down in a field, by sheer luck as much as skill. There had been a couple of broken limbs and a head injury among the crew, but at least they were all alive.
And now it was over. William wasn’t interested in the Wing Commander’s praise or his promise of a commendation. All he wanted to do was forget it.
He would never fly again otherwise. Every time he climbed into a cockpit, he had to clear his mind of every near miss, every exploding fuselage and failing engine, every friend and comrade he had ever lost.
It was the only way he could get through it.
There had been some ribbing in the officers’ mess about his brush with death. But William was more interested in hearing about what had been going on while he’d been away.
‘You’ve heard about the little boy – Lady Amelia’s son?’ one of the other officers said, as William tucked into his bacon and eggs. It was every airman’s reward at the end of a mission.
William dropped his knife and fork. ‘No? What happened?’
‘Horse got spooked by the planes and carted him off into the woods. Knocked himself clean out, apparently.’
‘Is he all right now?’
‘As far as I know. But you should probably expect a visit from Her Ladyship shortly, asking if you could take off and land more quietly!’
The officer guffawed with laughter, but William didn’t join in. He knew how much Millie adored her little boy. She must have been utterly terrified, he thought.
He had made up his mind to see her, even though they hadn’t spoken since the day she’d told him she wanted nothing more to do with him. He’d been angry and hurt, and had done his best to stay out of her way. But he knew she would be upset about Henry, and he cared too much to ignore her pain.
Millie looked up briefly when he came out into the yard, then went on with her grooming.
‘I hope I’m not in the way?’ she said. ‘I meant to finish the job last night, but I – had an emergency to deal with.’
‘I heard what happened to Henry. How is he?’
She paused, then went on brushing down her horse’s gleaming flanks. ‘He’s fine,’ she said. ‘No sign of concussion, thank God. But I’m keeping an eye on him.’
‘The horse was spooked by the planes taking off, so I’m told?’
She nodded. ‘But it was my own fault. We shouldn’t have been up there, but Henry so wanted to see them.’
There was a long silence. William wondered whether he should leave, but his feet were rooted to the spot.
‘I’m sorry I wasn’t there,’ he said quietly.
‘Why should you be?’
‘Because I care about him – and you.’ William took a step forward. ‘You needed help, and I couldn’t be
there.’
‘You can never be there. That’s the trouble,’ Millie muttered under her breath.
Her comment hit home. ‘You make it sound as if it’s my choice,’ he bit out. ‘As if I decide to get into a plane and fly into enemy fire, night after night, just to provoke you.’
I almost died last night, he wanted to shout. But he pushed the memory to the back of his mind. He couldn’t bring himself to say the words.
Millie went on brushing her horse, long unhurried strokes over the gleaming chestnut flanks.
‘Anyway, I wasn’t on my own,’ she said, not looking at him. ‘Teddy was here. He stayed the night, actually.’
William bristled. He wasn’t sure if Millie was trying to make him jealous but it had worked. ‘I’m glad,’ he forced himself to say.
As he turned to go back to the house, she said, ‘I think you should know, Teddy and I are engaged.’
William swung round to face her. ‘Since when?’
‘Yesterday.’
He paused, struggling to get his thoughts in order. ‘Do you love him?’ he asked.
She stopped brushing and straightened up to face him. ‘Yes,’ she said.
‘But you’re not in love with him, are you?’
Delicate colour rose in her face. ‘Of course I am,’ she said. ‘Why shouldn’t I be? He’s kind, thoughtful, he adores Henry—’
‘And he has a nice, safe desk job,’ William finished for her. ‘That’s the most important thing, isn’t it? Never mind if you truly love him or not, as long as he comes home to you every night?’
Her chin tilted in defiance. ‘So what if it is important to me? What’s wrong with not wanting to live in fear for the rest of my life? Oh, I know other women have to put up with it,’ she said as he opened his mouth to speak. ‘And I put up with it too once, remember? I put up with it every day until that telegram arrived.’ She pointed the brush at him. ‘Do you blame me for not wanting to live through that moment again? For wanting to protect myself, and my son?’
William stared at her, and his mind was suddenly filled with a horrific image from the previous night – a splintering crash, the smell of burning gasoline mingled with sweat and panic as half a dozen young men stared death in the face.
He knew in that moment that she was right. He loved her too much to want to put her through that kind of hell. Far better that she be with someone else than suffer that.
‘No,’ he said wearily. ‘No, I don’t blame you at all.’
Chapter Forty-Eight
JESS WAS WITH Sam in Victoria Park. It was a perfect summer’s day and they were on the boating lake together. Sam was rowing, shirt sleeves rolled up to reveal his muscled forearms, while Jess lay back, eating an ice cream and enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face and the sound of the brass band playing on the band stand.
Sam was fooling about the way he always did, pretending to drop the oars and making the boat wobble from side to side until Jess had to hang on for dear life and beg him to stop. Even though she was terrified, she was still helpless with laughter.
As they floated past the boat shed, Jess heard someone calling her name. She sat up.
‘Who’s that?’
‘It’s no one,’ Sam said. ‘Take no notice. Here, look.’ He distracted her, putting down the oars to skim a stone across the water.
Jess smiled as she watched it skipping across the water, shattering the mirror-calm surface. Then she raised her gaze and saw a young man standing on the opposite bank. Tall and lanky, with a shock of brown hair, he was polishing his spectacles on the hem of his white coat.
‘Dr Drake?’ she said his name aloud.
Sam looked up. ‘I don’t see anyone.’
‘You must see him. Look, over there.’ She pointed. Dr Drake was waving to her, calling out her name.
‘Nurse Jago? Jess? Can you hear me?’ His voice drifted across the lake, mingling with the soft splash of the oars in the water and the quacking of the ducks.
Jess looked away, annoyed. ‘I wish he’d go,’ she said. ‘I don’t want him here, spoiling our day. What’s he doing here, anyway? He shouldn’t be here.’
Sam smiled at her sadly. ‘I think he’s come to take you back.’
Jess sat upright. ‘What do you mean? I don’t want to go anywhere. I’m happy here with you.’
‘I know. And I want you to stay, truly I do.’ He was staring down at the space between her feet as he said it, his face downcast. ‘But you’ve got to go, Jessie.’
‘I don’t want to go!’ Jess heard the panic in her own voice.
The sun drifted behind a cloud, casting a dull grey shadow over the surface of the water. A chill breeze came out of nowhere, pimpling the bare skin of her arms.
The boat was drifting towards the bank where Dr Drake was standing, stretching out his hand to her.
‘Come on, Jess,’ he was calling. ‘You can do it. Come on!’
She turned to Sam accusingly. ‘Row away,’ she said. ‘Don’t go towards him. Go the other way!’ She tried to grab the oars but Sam held them out of her grasp.
‘I’m sorry, Jess,’ he said. His smile was the sweetest, saddest thing she’d ever seen. ‘You know I’d let you stay if I could, but it’s not your time. You’ve got to go back.’
Dr Drake was closer now. She could see the light glinting off his spectacles. He was teetering over the water, still reaching for her.
‘Go to him,’ she heard Sam’s voice say in her ear. ‘Just go to him, Jess. Trust me, it’s the right thing to do.’
Jess looked at Dr Drake, then back at Sam. ‘If I go, will I see you again?’
He grinned at her. ‘One day,’ he promised. ‘When the time’s right, I’ll come back for you.’ He nodded towards the man on the bank. ‘But he’ll take care of you for now.’
‘Jess?’ Dr Drake’s voice was desperate. It seemed closer to her now, filling her ears. The gentle lapping of the water, the quacking of the ducks and the sound of the brass band seemed to recede into the distance, becoming hushed until she could barely hear them.
Jess looked back at Sam, one last glance. ‘Are you sure?’ she whispered.
He winked at her. ‘Go on,’ he said.
Jess turned to Dr Drake, screwed her eyes tight shut, took a deep breath and thrust out her hand to take his.
Chapter Forty-Nine
ALAN WAS GOING home.
More precisely, he was being transferred to a convalescent home in Wales, closer to where his parents lived, so he could receive the long-term care he needed.
‘’Course, you know the nurses at the convalescent home won’t be a patch on our lovely lot?’ Tommo lounged on his bed, watching Grace pack Alan’s suitcase. ‘They keep the pretty ones to work in the hospitals. The ones at the convalescent home all look like Old Mother Riley!’
‘Take no notice of him, he’s only teasing you,’ Grace said to Alan. But she was pleased to see Tommo more like his old cheeky self. After a few days of sadness, he had finally pulled himself round.
Alan had helped. While Tommo had been depressed, Alan had never left his side. He said nothing, but his calm, reassuring presence had somehow been just what Tommo needed to make him realise that he wasn’t on his own against the world after all.
And it had had a remarkable effect on Alan, too. Somehow, being useful and needed had dragged him out of his own dark, enclosed world. In the past few days he had started walking a few halting steps, and was even trying to speak, although he could only utter sounds rather than words.
But now the friends were being separated. And even though Tommo was trying to put on a brave face, Grace could see he was troubled by it.
‘I’ll be sorry to see you go,’ he admitted gruffly to his friend, staring down at his hands. ‘You’re the only one worth talking to in this place.’
‘The only one who’ll listen to you, you mean?’ Sergeant Jefferson chimed in. But he was smiling as he said it.
‘Never mind,’ Grace said. ‘It won’t be l
ong before you’re going home, too.’
Tommo’s face clouded. ‘Much good it’ll do me,’ he mumbled.
‘Have you thought about what you’ll do?’ she asked.
He shrugged. ‘Well, I did reckon I might become a footballer, but I don’t suppose that’s going to happen now …’ He stared disconsolately at his leg. ‘Either that or a ballet dancer.’
Alan gave one of his shy, crooked smiles, and made an explosive sound that might have been a laugh. Grace rolled her eyes. ‘Honestly, you’re as bad as each other!’ she sighed.
The double doors opened, and Alan’s parents entered. They had been to see their son a couple of times but always looked ill at ease on the ward, their arms firmly linked and gazes turned to the ground, as if they feared the horrors they might see if they looked around.
Miss Wallace intercepted them and guided them over to her desk. Tommo watched them talking, their heads close together in conversation. Every so often they glanced over at Alan and him, then back at Sister.
‘Oh, dear,’ he teased Alan. ‘Looks like they don’t want you, after all. If you ask me, I reckon Sister’s having a hard job persuading them to take you home.’
‘Tommo!’ Grace warned.
Finally Mr and Mrs Jones came over. They greeted Alan, his mother moving forward to envelop him in the usual hug. She smelled of lavender water.
‘Oh, son!’ She finally pulled away from him, her eyes full of tears. ‘I never thought the day would come when we’d be taking you home, I truly didn’t.’
‘And we know who to thank for it, don’t we?’ His father nodded stiffly to Tommo. ‘Sister’s been explaining how much you’ve done for Alan. She wrote and told us all about you, didn’t she, Gwen?’
‘She did.’ His wife beamed at Tommo. ‘We knew you two were friends, but we didn’t realise how much you’ve helped pull him through.’
Tommo shrugged, embarrassed. ‘He’s my mate,’ he said quietly.
There was a brief silence as Alan’s mother and father looked at each other. Then his father said, ‘Sister also told us you don’t have anywhere to stay when you leave hospital?’
Nightingales Under the Mistletoe Page 32
