by Sasha Hibbs
“I don’t get paid for debating over literature, writing down a mathematical formula that challenges current theories, or spouting off second languages, amore mio,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. It took a few seconds for me to realize he’d said “my love” in Italian. “However small and humble all this is surrounding you”—he pointed to his house—“it all comes at a cost.”
It all fell into place.
I’d never had to worry about a roof over my head, food in my mouth, or heat to keep me warm. My dad provided well for us. I lived in luxury without ever having to care about the cost. Hearing a school bus stop in front of Mickey’s house, I knew Jimmy was home. Their mother worked, but it must’ve not been enough for them. Mickey was supplementing their income with his fights.
My heart swelled with admiration and sadness. I thought about the ride I took with Mickey at the Country Club. I would do it again. I would slide onto the back of his motorcycle, riding down that dark road with him. We’d pave our way to hell together.
Chapter Nineteen
The rest of the week passed by without issue. My mom had taken notice of all the evenings I was running behind after school. I’d created enough excuses to satisfy her, but I could see a trace of doubt linger in her eyes each time. Friday couldn’t come fast enough. It meant Jay was coming to my house to pick me up.
I needed my parents to see us together. That would remove the small suspicion I was sure was growing in my mother’s mind. I’d called Jay Wednesday to make sure our farce was still on. Only after Jay giving me confirmation and assurance, did I breathe a sigh of relief. I was going to have to tell my parents about Mickey. We were a ticking time bomb together. Any second our time together was going to come to an abrupt halt. But every time I thought about ways to approach my parents, horrible scenarios went through my mind, turning me into a total coward.
They’d be mad at all the lies. How could they ever trust me again? Would they understand it was only the feelings that grew with each day that induced me to behavior I’d never demonstrated before? I would cringe and put it off for another day, lying to them, but also lying to myself.
Headlights turning into the driveway turned my thoughts to the boy who was pulling in. Jay would be waiting for me. I padded downstairs where both my parents were talking to Jay. I watched as smiles passed between them.
“Well, have her back here no later than eleven,” Dad said as he patted Jay on the back. I doubted he would ever do that with Mickey.
“Hey,” I said as I reached the bottom landing.
“There she is,” Mom said through a beaming smile.
I grabbed my pea coat and stood on my tiptoes to kiss my dad on the cheek.
“We’ll be back by eleven. Promise.”
I laced my arm in with Jay’s and ushered him out of the door. I really didn’t want them around each other any more than what was necessary.
I slid into Jay’s Audi sedan. He put it into reverse and backed out of the driveway.
“So, where am I dropping you off at?” Jay asked.
I turned in my seat to look at him. His profile was obscured by the dark, but I couldn’t mistake the nerves in the air or the tic working in his jaw.
“Do you know where the old boiler plant is? In Anmoore?”
I couldn’t see Jay too well, but I could’ve swore I saw him flinch.
“Yes.”
“Drop me off there and pick me up, say, around ten-thirty. Does that work for you?”
“In fact it works out perfect.”
“Good. Do you know anything about—”
“I know exactly what goes on there,” Jay said, cutting me off.
“You do?”
“Of course. Me and some friends have even been to a couple fights.”
“Oh.”
I was surprised. Jay said this as though illegal fights and gambling were common place. The more people that knew about these fights the higher the risk Mickey ran of getting caught. That thought led to another scary possibility—trouble with the law. Mickey was underage, but there were juvie centers, probation officers, all sorts of bad things that could damage his record. My thoughts were consumed with those possibilities, so much so that I was distracted and hadn’t noticed we pulled in until Jay spoke.
“I’ll be here at ten-thirty.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you then,” I said as I got out of the car.
As I walked toward the entrance, I noticed Jay hadn’t left yet. Maybe there was a nicer side to Jay than I realized. At least I thought it very gentlemanly to wait and make sure I got inside safely.
Cam ushered me inside. I knew where to go from there. This time I wasn’t going to watch from the sidelines. I shifted the curtain to the side and stepped in. Mickey was sitting on a stool. When I entered, he looked up and gave me that adorable smile that melted my insides. He had a small jar of Vaseline in his left hand, and a glob of it on his right palm.
“What’s that for?” I asked.
“It helps when I get hit,” he said, slathering the translucent jelly over his face.
“Like triple antibiotic ointment? It helps decrease the risk of infection?”
There was a chorus of laughter from Mickey, Daniel and Sean. I felt my cheeks grow red.
“Okay, okay, guys. Stop laughing at my girl.” Mickey stood up as he set the jar of Vaseline down.
He walked over to me and leaned down, giving me a peck on the cheek. No doubt he was mindful not to smear the viscous jelly on my face.
“Getting hit hurts. When I get punched, the Vaseline works as a lubricant in this case, causing the glove to slide off my face and lessening the impact.”
“Oh, I see.”
The further I delved into this world, the more I learned.
Hearing a ringtone, I turned toward Daniel and Sean. Pulling out his phone, Sean ran his fingers over the screen, shooting what I assumed was a text then said, “Sorry, Mickey. I’m probably going to have to miss this one. But I’ll catch you at school. Good luck.”
Daniel rolled his eyes. “Please tell me you’re not going to see—”
“Shut up, man. I know what I’m doing. I’ll be home later.”
“Later, Sean,” Mickey said.
Daniel clenched his jaw in anger as we all watched Sean steal through the curtain.
“Man, I can’t stand that little prick,” Daniel said through gritted teeth.
“That’s harsh to say about your brother,” I said.
“He’s not the one I’m referring to.”
I didn’t ask Daniel who he meant because the announcer’s voice boomed outside.
“Wish me luck,” Mickey said, winking at me.
I smiled and trotted up to him. I stood on my tiptoes, an inch from his lips. “Don’t let these get busted up. You might need to use them later,” I said, brushing my forefinger over his lips, and then giving him a more intense kiss than he had me. I pulled away and stared into his eyes.
He grinned. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Gah, please. I’m still in the room.” Daniel waved his arms up and down. “Get your damn gloves on, man, and keep your head in the game. Win the next few fights, and you’re going to earn your shot at Leo.”
The name sent red flags flying. Leo the Lion. I’d heard his name before. It was from the creepy college guys taunting Mickey from an earlier match. My stomach grew knots. I parted my lips to tell Mickey not to fight, to stop all this before he got caught, before he was in trouble so deep nothing could dig him out, but then I remembered his family, and as fast as I opened my mouth, I shut it.
Mickey held gloved hands out to Daniel who laced them up, securing them around Mickey’s wrists.
“Good luck,” I said so faintly I wasn’t sure if Mickey heard me.
“Let’s do this,” Mickey said, hitting his gloved hands together in a warm up.
“Come on, Autumn,” Daniel said, parting the curtain for Mickey to go through.
I heard the crowd roa
r as Mickey stepped out into a mass of bodies. I followed Daniel’s lead. Mickey slid in between the ropes and perched himself in the corner. He looked down at me and smiled while Daniel was giving him final words of encouragement.
The announcer, a middle-aged guy wearing thick glasses and sporting a beer belly, announced Mickey’s opponent as “Caleb”.
Mickey jumped to his feet and hopped from one foot to the other as though in anticipation. I sized Caleb up. He didn’t look like a high school kid. He looked older. The combination of the music and the crowd was so loud I had to pretty much plaster myself up against Daniel.
“How old is this guy?” I screamed to Daniel over the clatter of noise.
“He’s a freshman in college.”
“What? Are you kidding?”
“The next couple of fights are all college-age guys. If he wins them, then he’ll get a shot at Leo.”
“What’s the big deal with Leo?” I asked this, but inside there was a wall of trepidation where my nerves began to climb up around me like a vine.
“Leo’s undefeated. He has a huge following and will more than likely end up going pro. It’ll draw in the biggest crowd Mickey’s ever had. And if he wins that fight, he’ll finally get the one thing he’s wanted for a long time.”
“What’s that?”
“He’ll have enough money to pay off his mom’s house.”
The fight started, but time seemed to stop for me. I was trying to digest everything I learned about Mickey and what Daniel just divulged. As I watched Mickey dance around Caleb and block punches, a surge of feelings cascaded through me. It wasn’t my fault that I’d been born into a more privileged life. But the real injustice was that Mickey had been born into one where he had to fight for every scrap thrown his way to make it through life.
I watched Mickey throw the winning combination that took Caleb out and wondered when his luck would finally run out.
Chapter Twenty
Jay and I pulled off our first date with our parents being none the wiser. Sunday even passed by smoothly. When Monday rolled around, I waited until my dad pulled out before running downstairs. I was going to pick Mickey up again. As I headed for the door, Mary cleared her throat, causing me to jump.
“Here’s one for you, and one for Mickey,” she said, handing me two Ziploc bags containing sliced banana bread.
I felt my eyes grow big. My mom would be coming downstairs any moment, and I didn’t want her to overhear Mary. I grabbed the bags.
“Thank you, Mary,” I said, turning on my heel to escape.
“I saw your car at his house. Autumn, I’m not the brightest crayon in the box, but I’m not the dullest. I’m guessing you haven’t told your parents about him yet?”
I faced her. She arched an accusatory brow at me.
“I’m going to. I am. It’s complicated.”
“So the spider said to the fly.”
I heard her, but all I could think of was butterflies.
****
I ignored the eyes turning my way as Mickey, Sean, and Daniel took seats with me at lunch. I thought of Mary’s words and they haunted me. So far, I hadn’t raised too many suspicions at school regarding mine and Mickey’s relationship, but sitting together at lunch with a certain crowd, his crowd, was like a silent declaration. It would only be a matter of time before news like this traveled to my parents.
“Rich is cancelling the fight this Friday. My opponent was diagnosed with mono and there isn’t enough time to fill the slot.” Mickey toyed with the mac and cheese on his lunch tray.
“So you don’t have anything going on this Friday?” I asked. All sorts of possibilities ran through my head. Maybe we could go to the next county over and watch a movie together. Or we could hang out at his house. My thoughts were cut off by Daniel.
“No worries, my friend. This is the opportunity you needed.”
“How so?” Mickey said, relaxing back in his seat.
“I’ve got your back. I found out from this kid at WVU that Leo is fighting this Friday in Morgantown. My contacts name is Craig. Says he can get us in—”
“Why would I want to watch Leo fight?”
“For someone who is supposed to be smart, you really can be a dumbass sometimes,” Sean said, knuckle-bumping Daniel.
“So you can see how he fights. Now do you understand?” Daniel said.
“Capito, testa di cazzo,” Mickey said, breaking out in a grin.
“What?” Sean asked. I knew Mickey was speaking Italian, but whatever he said was out of my depth.
“Understood, dickwad,” Mickey answered. I choked on my milk. Mickey patted my back. “Sorry,” he said with a sheepish grin.
I cleared the last bit of fluid from my lungs and gained control of my voice. “No problem. So, are you going to go?” I asked. It was selfish, but until Daniel mentioned staking out the competition, I had momentary hopes of hanging out with Mickey. Alone.
“I guess it would be a good idea to see what I’m up against.”
“I hear he’ll go pro once he’s out of college. They say this guy is bad-ass, last guy walked away with more than a concussion—”
“Would you shut up, Sean?”
“Sorry, I, um. Yeah. Morgantown it is,” Sean said, averting his gaze.
“You and Autumn want to meet me and Sean at the boiler plant and we can all drive up together?”
“What time does it start?” Mickey asked.
“Eight.”
“Sure.” Mickey turned in his seat, his gaze on me. “I can come pick you up at seven and that should give us enough time to meet up with you.” He flicked his gaze to Daniel then back to me. “And that’ll give us plenty of time to get to Morgantown for the fight.”
I felt my palms grow sweaty and my pulse thrum in my ears. Mickey couldn’t come pick me up, not without exposing me to my parents. But I couldn’t tell him that. I had to think of something quick to salvage the situation.
“How about I come pick you up? It’s too cold to ride that far on your bike. Plus the weather could get nasty by Friday.” I held my breath.
Mickey seemed to be contemplating my words. After a few seconds he finally said, “Makes sense.”
I exhaled quietly. “Guess it’s a plan.”
****
After asking Mickey how much time was involved with driving up to Morgantown—an hour away—and assessing how much of a window that would leave me to get home without being caught, I called Jay and scheduled the plans.
As long as I was “dating” Jay Aster, I honestly thought my parents couldn’t care less where we went. They trusted me, or at least they trusted me and Jay together as a couple. Who wouldn’t? Valedictorian lands dream football star destined to obtain a full scholarship to a prestigious school. Both hail from good stock with connections and money. Before Mickey, I could’ve gone along with their plans for me. After Mickey stormed into my life, I stumbled across cracks in the glass bubble I’d lived in for so long. It was a matter of time before those fissures spread and caused the glass to shatter.
I told my parents I would pick Jay up this time since he did last Friday. He had me drop him off at the mall parking lot behind the food court. Told me not to worry, that he wasn’t going into the mall, but a friend was coming to pick him up. I didn’t press him, but I assumed it was the girl he was willing to “date” me for. I headed over to High Street and picked up Mickey. We drove to the boiler plant where Daniel was waiting for us. Sean wasn’t there, but I didn’t question his absence. As Daniel’s younger brother it was possible he had friends outside of Daniel’s circle. But I did find it odd that he would miss the opportunity to watch what was supposed to be Mickey’s toughest opponent yet.
We all crammed into the bench seat of Daniel’s pickup truck, with me sandwiched in between them.
“Sean out with that douchebag?” Mickey asked beside me.
“Unfortunately, yes,” Daniel said. “I can’t stand that jerk, but Sean’s my baby brother, and he thinks he’s
in love with this asshole.”
I thought I heard mention of him ditching Mickey’s last fight to see a “guy”. But I never asked if Sean was gay.
“Is his boyfriend someone we go to school with?” I asked, chiming in on the conversation.
“No. He goes to Bridgeport High,” Daniel answered.
“I didn’t know he was gay. I mean, not that I have a problem with that. It just wasn’t obvious.”
I felt Mickey tense beside me, but then he relaxed.
“Being gay isn’t something you can easily broadcast. It’s not that Sean is ashamed, but people are not accepting of relationships that stray from the norm,” Daniel said.
That resonated within me. If there was someone out there who could empathize with that statement, it was me.
“It took a while for our parents to come around, but they’re pretty cool. Supportive, at least. But that jerk he’s dating ditched him before, and I don’t trust him to not do it again. I will break that punk next time he hurts my baby brother,” Daniel said.
We turned off on exit 155 and drove past a series of motels and restaurants until we finally came to an old, rickety building that reminded me of something that was a lively office building thirty years ago. Daniel pulled in behind the old building and parked. Mickey got out of the truck and held the door open for me to climb down.
“Come on,” Daniel said, motioning for us to follow him. “Craig’s going to meet us.”
Mickey pulled his hoodie over his head and grabbed my hand. It still felt surreal, but with each passing day, lacing our fingers together and giving each other soft kisses felt natural. I clung onto Mickey as we trailed down a flight of metal stairs. There was a guy hitched to the door as we descended the last step.
“Hey, man. Thanks for getting us in,” Daniel said, jutting his chin out toward who I presumed to be Craig.
“It’s all good,” Craig said in a chill voice. His gaze flickered to me then Mickey. “Just remember who got you in here.”
We all followed Craig through a maze of dimly lit hallways that led to a basement reminding me of the boiler plant. The room was lined wall to wall with people, far more than had ever been to Mickey’s fights. Music was blaring. Mickey kept me close to his side as we wove in and out of the crowd, aiming for a decent view.
