by Neil Hartley
"No cavern. The Under Plains!" A new voice piped up.
Dreth reached for his sword. "Who said that?"
"It was I! I spake!"
They looked around as a small skinny figure stepped out from behind a patch of dry, yellow brush.
"A goblin? What are you doing here?" asked Cuthbert. "Lost are you?"
"I'm a Black Goblin! I roam these plains. I know no master! I wander where I please."
"Ah, a local." Dreth stepped forward. "Tell me, ah..."
"Gerald," the goblin said.
"Tell me Gerald, where are we exactly?"
"Thee truly knows not?"
"I just said so didn't I?"
The Goblin puffed out his skinny chest. "Ware travelers! Thee standeth upon the Under Plain of DUME!" The small creature cackled and rubbed its hands together in maniacal fashion.
"And what, pray tell," asked Dreth, "is the Under Plain of Doom?"
"Not Doom, DUME. D-U-M-E," replied the goblin, spelling it out.
"Of course, how silly of me," Dreth stated, hanging on to his patience by a thread.
"The Under Plain is a dark, dark place. Dark and black and dark." The goblin hunched over, warming to his tale. "A vast plain of darkness, black darkness, ruled over by the Castle of Oversight, which towers above the dark black dark..."
"Yes, yes. It's very dark and black, we get the idea. Get on with it." Dreth glared.
Gerald scowled at being interrupted, but hurried on as Dreth tapped Darkblood meaningfully. "They say," and here the creature paused and looked left and right, as if someone could be listening. "They say they reside there."
"They being...?" asked Cuthbert.
"The rulers of course," the goblin whispered it. "The Lords of the dungeon."
"Interesting." Dreth scratched his chin. "And the Under Plain? No doubt it crawls with creatures both foul and depraved?"
"Oooh, foul and depraved indeed. Good one." The goblin stepped closer and pointed with a finger. "All around horrid creatures stalk the land, preying upon each other. Killing in ways too horrible to mention." It shuddered. "Many dangerous things lurk here, oh yes they do."
"Well, now there's one more," said Dreth, standing a little straighter.
"Is there anywhere safe to take a rest?" asked Redthorne, sitting down on a small hummock.
"Safe? There be no safety in the black, dark and black Under Plains of Dume," stated the goblin with some relish.
Dreth reached down and picked the small creature up by its head. "Gerald, tell the man what he wants to hear."
The goblin made a face. "Fine. Be like that." He pointed to the left. "Over yonder is the Black Desert, where they reside, or so it's said. Never been there personally."
"Okay, not a big fan of that direction," said Cuthbert. "What else do you have?"
Gerald flailed about. "Very well. Put me down and I will tell you all."
Dreth dropped him with a thud. "Start talking," he ordered, "or you're going to be seeing some doom alright. Black or otherwise."
The goblin glared at him. "Bully," he said.
* * *
The Under Plains of Dume.
A large figure stepped through a door that was hanging from its hinges, and stopped to survey the room beyond. Bodies lay strewn about the chamber. Several had been fried, though many bore sword wounds. Most were cat-people, though an Elven corpse was upside down against the far wall with an apparently broken neck. At least four Drow were interspersed amongst fallen stone pillars and chunks of granite ceiling.
The Golem picked its way through the carnage, towards the center of the room. It stopped in front of the golden throne, looming over Harvey, who was slumped in the chair with his eyes closed. There was a large gash down his side, congealed blood around the wound appeared as a black stain against the colorful material of his robes.
"Where did they go?" the Golem asked.
"Eh? What? Oh it's you. Bugger off, can't you see I'm healing?"
The large outline leaned forward, red eyes boring into the recumbent figure. "Tell me where they went."
"Or what? Are you threatening me? Hahahaha!" Harvey laughed. "Come on stony, just try it."
The Golem made a noise. If it had had emotions it would have been feeling angry. It raised a fist. "Tell me now, or I smash your moldy head into paste."
McVon sat up and sneered. "I don't think so."
The fist moved, a blur as it plummeted down. Harvey reacted with equal speed, throwing his hand up, palm out. The fist met a blue wall of energy which stopped its flight cold. The two remained motionless for a long moment, each straining to best the other. The red eyes of the animation boring into the lifeless ones of the immortal wizard, as each put their strength into the contest.
Finally the Golem stepped back. Harvey heaved a sigh and settled into his chair again. He looked at his dungeon counterpart for a moment, and then waved at a pile of rocks near the wall. "They went that way, through the rubble. Into the Under Plains."
The Golem looked at him for a second and nodded before turning away. "Next time," it said.
"Yeah, right," replied Harvey. He watched the Golem start to dig through the collapsed ceiling, a calculating expression on his face. "Oh, you may want to tell your masters he had The Girl with him."
The animation stopped digging a moment and looked at him. "The girl?"
The wizard nodded.
The Golem thought about it for a moment, and then shrugged. "Not my problem, she doesn't fall within my mission parameters." It started digging again.
Harvey smiled to himself and closed his eyes, letting the power of the throne pulse through him as he listened to the sound of burrowing. It had been a good day.
~ * ~
Gerald swiveled about. "Over that way, just beyond the bottomless pit, is the Dark Lake. The fetid waters of which lap up against the Goblin Forest where the reserves stay."
"Reserves?" Cuthbert cocked his head to one side.
"Aye. Under the black..." Gerald glanced at Dreth and revised his words. "Under the trees of the Goblin forest is where the dungeon creatures wait until they are assigned for duty."
"A waiting area?" Dreth asked.
"Why not? You don't think the denizens just appear out of thin air do you?"
"I never went there," said Cuthbert, a tad bitterly.
"You didn't?" The goblin scratched his head, dislodging several small insects. "Come to think of it, there aren't usually many undead there."
"Blatant discrimination," huffed Percy.
"Wait. You live in this place?" said Dreth. "I thought you roamed this land, acknowledging no master and all that."
"Yes, well in the night maybe, but I have to sleep somewhere don't I? And I don't acknowledge any master. The missus now, well she's another matter."
"I see." Dreth looked at Redthorne, who was sagging badly. "How far away is this forest of yours?"
"You have to venture through the bla... er, none light sands, avoid the giant scorpions, then it's just five minutes down the road, first on the left. Can't miss it, bloody great big forest. Trees everywhere."
"How about you act as a guide?"
"Sorry, I'm a bit busy..." Gerald looked up into the pointy end of Dreth's sword. "Love to, love to. Let's be off shall we? Mind that rock now, wouldn't want you tripping up and skewering me would we?"
Percy and Sprat helped Redthorne to his feet, and they all set off after the goblin, into the Under Plains of Dume.
~ * ~
"Down here, it's just ahead," said Garret.
Slice Gutgood peered along the passageway at the dim light coming from the entrance. "Good," he said. "Go back to Harm, tell him we've found it. We'll investigate."
"B...but Harm said to wait for him," stammered Garret, who was rather cowardly for a Drow elf warrior.
Slice knocked him to the ground with a backhanded swipe. In contrast to his two companions, he was large and muscular. Far more so than usual for one of his kind, and he had used the extra w
eight to help him bully and kill his way up to squad leader rank. He didn't intend to stop there either. "Do as I say, or I'll throw you in first," he snarled.
Garret whimpered, but picked himself up and scampered back down the tunnel.
"Are we certain this is wise?"
Slice looked at his remaining companion. Primrose Slyeye looked back steadily. If Slice was honest with himself, Primrose unnerved him. The other dark elf was small and slim, slightly smaller than normal if anything. And Primrose! What sort of name was that? Yet there was something about him that halted Slice's usual response, which would have been to knock him around the head and yell at him. Instead he just growled. "I am in charge here. Do as I say."
Primrose merely shrugged and gestured for Slice to continue.
Glaring at the scout, Gutgood pulled his sword out of its sheath and stepped forward carefully. Primrose sauntered along behind, seemingly at ease with the world.
The door was hanging off the hinges. Inside the room was a mess. Half of the ceiling had fallen in somehow, semi-burying a variety of victims. Slice saw some of the cat-men they had run into briefly once, as well as four members of the previous Drow raiding party. One elf was lying against the far wall.
"Looks like we missed the fun," said Slice, nudging a cat man with his foot.
"What's that over there?" said Primrose, gesturing with his sword.
"Looks like some kind of throne. Maybe there's someone on it."
"After you then, oh glorious squad leader."
Resisting the urge to break the others' arms, Slice closed in on the sitting figure. It seemed to be a human in long colorful robes. He was apparently asleep.
Grinning, Slice slid up to the man and placed his sword against the throat. "Wake up!" He said.
"Ah. Slice..." Primrose started.
"Quiet you!" Slice jiggled his blade. "I said wake up."
The man opened his eyes. Dull, gray eyes. "I'm in a good mood today," he said. "So if you remove your sword and your person from my presence, I will allow you to carry on living."
Slice laughed the low throaty and confident laugh of thugs everywhere who think they have the upper hand, and yet are about to find out they have just picked on some kind of super being from another dimension.
"Well, so be it."
Slice screamed as he was picked up by an invisible force and thrown upwards, to smash against the ceiling. "Wha...!!"
"I did warn you." The voice floated up from below.
Slice screamed again as his armor burst into flame, charring his flesh. The smell of burning meat reached his nostrils. He thought he could vaguely hear Primrose shouting. The tatters of his clothing fell away, dropping to the floor far below and lessening the pain slightly.
The reprieve didn't last. There was a giggle, from some unseen creature, and his burnt skin was picked at and stripped away. Agony shot through Slice, searing his being as his flesh was slowly peeled back, to reveal muscle and bone below.
Blood dripped down like rain as the invisible hands pulled at his now exposed ribs. A crack echoed around the chamber as one was snapped off.
Darkness began to close around Slice as something dug into the hole in his front and, with a wet sucking noise, ripped his heart from his body. The last thing he heard was a quiet voice.
"Delicious."
~ * ~
Harm looked at the mangled and broken carcass of his squad leader, and turned to Primrose. "Looks like you are promoted," he said. Then he faced the mage sitting in the throne. "Sir Wizard, I am Harm Undertow, leader of this Drow search party." He bowed slightly.
"Welcome to my lair," replied the man. "I'm Harvey Von McVon. Please excuse the mess, it's the maids' day off."
"We're looking for a wizard carrying a baby. Have you seen such?"
"Ah, it's been so busy here recently." Harvey tapped fingers on the arm of the chair. "Still, I think I can safely say that I have. He was with a couple of zombies and some... others. If you wish to find them, I suggest you look over there. They went in to the Under plains."
"The Under plains!" Harm exclaimed. He nodded at the mage. "Thank-you." Harm gestured at the rest of his squad, and they trooped over to the entrance indicated by the wizard. A tunnel had been dug through the rubble, leading down to a small passageway.
The Drow entered. After a moment, a small flying figure flitted in after them.
~ * ~
"What's that?" M pointed off to the right.
Dreth looked. "It seems to be a large hole."
"Oh that! That's the bottomless pit that is," said Gerald, acting the tour guide. "They say it was made by The Master when he was looking for Nothing."
"How can you look for nothing?" Scoffed Cuthbert.
"It's very difficult," said the goblin. "Have you ever seen Nothing?"
"Er, I think so," argued Cuthbert, holding a finger up. "When I look for something, and I can't find it, I get nothing."
"No no no, that's not nothing. That's merely the absence of the thing you were looking for. True Nothing though, well, that's hard to get."
"So, how do you find nothing then?" asked Dreth, intrigued despite himself.
Gerald merely shrugged. "How should I know? Do I look like a wizard to you? Steeped in the arcane arts? I think not. A basic minion is me."
"Bah," said Cuthbert. "And how can it be bottomless? I'm going to look." He stepped off the path and lurched over to the hole.
Dreth did a good imitation of a deep breath and followed him. "Stay with the wizard Sprug," he ordered Sprat, as Redthorne stopped and sank down on the black sand, the baby still cradled in his arms.
The group caught up with Cuthbert, who was looking around on the floor.
"All the stones have been taken," said Gerald.
"Fine." Cuthbert dug into a pocket and pulled forth a small copper coin. He flicked it in and peered over, watching it fall into the blackness.
"It's not going to hit anything," sighed the goblin, crossing his arms.
"Shhh!" The zombie leant over, trying to listen.
"Did he find it?" Asked M.
"Find what?" replied Gerald.
"Nothing."
"Oh. I don't know."
After several minutes of waiting Dreth lost his patience. "Come on, I'm not hanging about all day waiting for something to hit a bottom that may not be there." He turned about and stalked back to the path.
"It can't be bottomless!" said Cuthbert, hanging on for another few moments. "Hey! Wait for me!"
~ * ~
It was dark. Something heavy was on his body, making it difficult to breath. Another hard thing was resting on his head, and it hurt.
Moaning, Gut tried to move. At first he couldn't, making him panic, which in turn lent him strength. He heaved and, after a moment of straining, something gave. Hope blossomed, and he pushed again and again. Eventually a ray of dim light penetrated his dark world, and his hand broke through into open air.
Wiggling and scrabbling, Gut pushed his way to the surface of the rubble, eventually sitting up like some kind of deformed land whale.
He looked around and saw a shiny chair. A figure was sat on it, looking at him with interest. Gut snarled as he recognized the magic man from before.
"Before you think about trying to bash me," the wizard said, interrupting the giant's thought process, "you should know I didn't do anything to hurt you."
"Gut nearly squashed under stone," Gut responded, logic going into overdrive and making his head hurt even more.
"Ah, but that was an accident. The spell was aimed at your friend Dreth. He tricked you."
Gut scratched his head. "Dreth giant killer. Gut afraid him."
The man laughed, causing the big man to growl.
"Oh no, I'm not laughing at you, it's not your fault. Dreth is a bad man, he lied to us all."
"Dreth not giant killer?" Gut wrinkled his brow.
"Far from it my large friend. He pulled you away from your duty didn't he?" At the answering nod Harve
y carried on. "And do you know what happens to monsters that leave their post?" A shake of the head this time. "The Management."
Gut went pale, though it was hard to see under the dust. "Management?"
McVon nodded. "I tell you what Mr. Gut. If you do me a favor, I'll put in a good word for you. I'm a friend of Them."
"Please help Gut! Gut not know!"
"That's alright. I can see you are an honorable monster who was tricked away from his assigned tasks."
"What Gut do?"
"Well, it's really something you need to do for yourself. If you get the woman back that you were guarding, and kill Dreth, then I'm sure they would forgive you. Maybe even give you a reward. How does that sound?"
"Gut like! Gut squeeze Dreth until he very sorry!"
"Good, good. I would just ask that you let me speak to the woman a moment before you return her to her box. Would that be okay do you think?"
The giant nodded. "Gut do! Gut go now. He stood up, scattering rock, but then paused, his face drooping. "But Gut not know where he go."
"I think I may be able to help you out there." Harvey smiled.
~ * ~
"Careful now," said Gerald. "Follow me and be quiet. Walk where I walk."
"What is it?" asked Dreth.
"Scorpions. Big ones. Giant even. If you're quiet, and you follow me exactly, we'll be alright."
"I don't see any scorpions," said Percy.
"Go on then. You walk over there a bit. We'll wait here."
Percy looked at the goblin, then at the black sand. "Er. Maybe not. After you."
"Right then. Remember, follow my path exactly. And be quiet!" Gerald walked off; following a winding path only he seemed to be able to see.
Dreth followed, with M, Sprat, who was playing with his tube, and then the zombies escorting Redthorne and the baby bringing up the rear.
The goblin moved steadily, and Dreth wondered if he was playing some kind of joke. Still, he had been okay so far. Better safe than sorry.
"Half way," mouthed Gerald after a few more minutes.
Dreth nodded, and kept walking.
They almost made it.
Sprat, picking at his tube, suddenly saw a dark spot. He touched it. The end of the tube exploded, throwing the small zombie onto his rump.
