by Diane Leyne
Could she do it? She honestly didn’t know.
Just then, the door opened. It was Gabe bearing a tray of food. He placed it tentatively on the bed, as if uncertain of his reception.
“I, um, wasn’t sure what you liked, so I made a bit of everything.” She looked down at the tray. She was starving, and breakfast looked amazing. There were eggs and bacon and sausage and toast and pancakes and yogurt and fruit as well as tea, coffee, and orange juice.
She looked up and laughed, and he visibly relaxed.
“I’m not trying to pressure or influence your decision. As our mate, it would be our privilege and obligation to spoil you in any way we can. As you had to submit to us last night, I have to look after you this morning. We all do. You are our mate, and we have a driving need to make sure you have everything that you want whether it is fresh-squeezed orange juice, a diamond ring, or your freedom from us.
“We’ve done what we can do to show you how we feel. We talked this morning. Last night we said we could be with you this summer if you needed more time to make your decision, but we can’t. Tonight is the second night of the full moon. There’s one more full moon on Monday, and then it’ll be about a month until the next one.
“If you don’t want to mate with us…” He hesitated and sighed. “If you don’t think you will ever want to be our mate, we think it might be best if you leave Harmony now.” He looked up at her, his face pale and set. “If you just need more time before you agree to the mating, then we’ll wait a month, but no more. But if you don’t think you can accept the five of us, then let’s end this now. We can’t bear the thought of falling deeper and deeper in love with you if you know now that you are going to leave us. As it is, it will rip our hearts out if you leave us now, but a month, two months from now, it would be worse. So if you don’t want forever with us, then please, leave us now.”
He got up. “Eat now, and then I’ll drive you home and leave you alone to think about what you want from us.”
Samantha watched him leave the room. Suddenly, she wasn’t hungry any more. She saw her clothes neatly folded on a chair. She used the bathroom and cleaned up before getting dressed in her clothes from last night.
Then her stomach rumbled. She’d burned a lot of calories last night. She nibbled a piece of toast and then picked up some extra crispy bacon. She was hungry, but she couldn’t eat. She had a lot to think about. She picked up her purse and walked downstairs. Gabe had heard her coming and was waiting by the door. He escorted her to his truck and helped her into the passenger seat. She saw that his brothers’ trucks were still there.
She turned back to look at the house and saw that the four of them were standing on the veranda watching her leave. She could see that they looked as tense as she felt, and she could see the worry etched on their faces.
The drive to her place was in silence. When they arrived, he got out and came around to the passenger side and helped her down. Then he walked her to the door and waited until she opened it. He put a finger under her chin and tipped it up.
“The mating ceremony takes place in the clearing by the waterfall where we first made love. I don’t know if you can find it at night by yourself. So, if you decide you want to mate with us, just come out onto your veranda after the full moon rises and wait. One of us will be there to guide you.
“If you don’t come out by sun up Tuesday morning, we’ll know your decision and respect it. We won’t bother you anymore.”
He reached out and touched her shoulder where he’d bitten her the night before.
“This should be healed in a day or two. There won’t even be a scar,” he said a bit wistfully, “no mark to show you were ever ours, even if just for a night.”
He turned and walked away.
* * * *
The rest of the day dragged by. Sam found herself moping on the couch instead of working. It was so cliché, she told herself as she curled up on the couch with a pint of ice cream watching a romantic-comedy marathon. She hoped that writing would help her clear her mind, but all she could think about were the brothers McAllister and the choice she faced.
Damn them, giving her basically forty-eight hours to make a decision that would not only affect the rest of her life, but was irreversible. If she went through with the ceremony, they’d all be tied together forever. It was even more permanent than a wedding ceremony, which could be dissolved, if need be. A mating was permanent.
She found herself reliving the lusting. She’d wanted them before the bite. Afterward, she’d been insatiable with her need to have her men inside her, and each time she’d come had only relieved her need momentarily. It was like each time, the wild desire came back stronger than before in a never-ending cycle of lust.
Did she want that for the rest of her life? Three nights a month being a total slave to her desires. And the rest of the time, while not being as out of control, she would still be helpless to resist whenever any of them wanted her. It sounded good on paper. So many marriages lost the passion quickly after making a commitment, but on the other hand, being a slave to the desires of five men. What life would she have? They said that they wanted her to work and be fulfilled and that they would support her in any way they could, but would they if it interfered with their carnal desires?
And even their desire to take care of her, it could be seen as just another way to control her. She sighed. Did she want that?
On the other hand, many women went a lifetime looking for true love and passion and a commitment. She had five men who wanted to be bound so tightly to her that they would be physically unable to stray. It was an overwhelming thought, to be able to hold the happiness of five people in her hand. Maybe she should just leave town while she still could. She’d promised her grandmother a summer, but she’d understand. Oh, Gran. How I wish you were still around to guide me.
Samantha looked at the clock. It was almost ten. The moon would have risen, and one of the brothers would be watching her house for signs that she wanted to go through with the mating. Samantha yawned. She hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. She decided to turn in early and try to get some sleep.
She turned off the downstairs lights and then walked up to her bedroom and turned on the bedside light. She was startled by the sound of a mournful howl in the night. When she finished getting ready for bed, she turned off the light and slid between the covers. The howl sounded again, and this time, it was joined by several others. She knew that it was them and they had realized she had turned in for the night.
* * * *
It had not been a restful night as the pressure of the decision weighed on her and her emotions were so all over the place. Why did they have to push so hard? There was a full moon every month. They could have waited and given her time to get to know them better, but they couldn’t wait. Bastards.
And then other times, she beat herself up. She had five great guys who wanted to be tied to her forever. Why was she hesitating? She was hesitating because it was forever. There was no going back if she took this step, no divorce or annulment or anything. This was a life commitment, and she was damned scared.
She thought of the marriages she had grown up with. Her own parents were content in their own way, but it was not a passionate marriage. She knew they cared for each other, but sometimes it was like they were friends living together. Her grandparents, on the other hand, had passionately loved each other for almost seventy years. Even as octogenarians, they were always touching, always kissing, always happiest when they were together.
Sam looked at the clock. Somehow it was nine a.m. She must have gotten some sleep, but she had tossed and turned, and she didn’t feel rested. She got up to get dressed. She saw her workout clothes in the drawer and decided that maybe that was what she needed, a good punishing workout to focus her mind.
She quickly got dressed and grabbed a couple of energy bars before hopping in the truck and driving downtown. It had nothing, nothing at all, to do with the fact that she hadn’t seen the McAllisters in almost twe
nty-four hours. Nope, that wasn’t it at all.
And yet, when she went into the gym expecting to see Andy and Eddie’s cheerful faces, she was shocked at how disappointed she was that they weren’t there. Maybe they were on the later shift? She asked at the desk, casually pretending she was interested in signing a personal training contract with them.
“Oh, they’ve taken the day off. Said they weren’t feeling well. I don’t expect them back for a few days. But we have some other wonderful trainers,” she offered brightly.
Samantha thanked her but said she’d wait for the brothers. She wasn’t feeling as energetic anymore, but forced herself to change and then do her standard workout. She ran on the treadmill. She lifted weights. She stretched and twisted. And then she soaked in the whirlpool afterward, but nothing quieted her mind or her body.
Sitting in the tub with the water swirling and massaging her body, she admitted to herself how disappointed she was that her men weren’t there. She hoped all the men weren’t sick. Maybe she should go over to the furniture store and ask Bart and Nick how the boys were doing? That would be the thoughtful thing to do.
She quickly got dressed and headed over, anxious to be reassured that Eddie and Andy were doing okay and it was just a bug or something.
She was shocked to find the closed sign on the store. It was after eleven. They should be open by now.
Were they all sick? Should she call Ginger? She turned and started back toward her car when she caught sight of the Sunshine Cafe. Penelope. She always knew what was going on, and she would be better to talk to her about this as it might feel kind of weird talking to Ginger about sex with her cousins. Samantha changed direction to head directly to the restaurant.
Penelope must have seen her coming. She came out carrying two steaming cups and gestured Samantha toward a table. Her expression was concerned.
“How are you doing? After Gabe dragged you out of Lupo’s, we were figuring it was a done deal, but that was two days ago, and you all haven’t done the ceremony,” she stated.
“How do you know?”
“Because the five of them are holed up in their house and you are here,” she stated. “At first we all thought they were celebrating with their new mate and too exhausted from all that sex to come to work, but with you here…You turned them down, didn’t you? They are home mourning their lost mate.”
Samantha could see the tears in her eyes and reached out a hand to comfort her.
“I haven’t made any decision yet, Penelope. You have to understand how hard this is for me. I was raised in the human world. One woman, one man, and a divorce court judge if it didn’t work out. Making an irreversible commitment to five men? That’s a scary thought. And to have such a tight deadline? It feels like I’m being pressured.”
“How are they pressuring you? Are they badgering you? Hanging around you demanding that you commit tonight?”
“No. I haven’t seen them since Gabe drove me home Sunday morning.”
“Then how are they badgering you? This decision is yours alone to make. Do you want me to call their grandfather?”
She glanced at her friend. Penelope looked so concerned.
“Oh, no. It’s not like that. It’s me. I’m scared. How do I make a choice like that? One part of me needs more time, but Gabe said that if I take more time and then break up with them, it would hurt them more, so he wants me to decide during this full-moon cycle.”
“So, you asked to sample the merchandise for another month without making a commitment to buy. Yeah, I can see how they weren’t keen on that. But you also know that if that’s what your decision is, they will accept it. They might not like it, but they would accept it. But only ask that if you truly just need to extra month to make peace with your decision. Gabe’s right. If you want the extra month just to have lots of great wolfy sex and have no intention of making a commitment, better to leave now.
“I know this is hard for you, but it’s hard for them, too. You weren’t raised in the wolf customs, but they were. Think about it. They were raised their whole lives to believe that there was one woman in all the world for them. Maybe she would be of the wolf blood, or maybe she’d be human and they’d have to take extra care in wooing her, but she existed and they just had to find her.
“And now they did. She’s not full wolf blood, but she’s not totally human either. The best combination, actually, some say. They make love with their mate and are more sure than ever that she’s the one. Saturday night, Samantha, you guys didn’t do the mating ceremony, but I’ll bet there was a lusting, am I right?”
Samantha could only nod.
“Then you know what they experienced. It was the same for them as for you. It was such a deeply emotional experience, not just physical. They needed you on every level. As much as you wanted and needed them, they needed you.”
“Oh, Penelope. It was as if we were bonded on a cellular level, and I couldn’t get enough of them. They couldn’t get close enough to me. I wanted them all over and over and over again. I couldn’t control my need, and it scares me.”
“It’s only physically out of control like that on the nights of the full moon, but the emotional need will be there always. You haven’t been in Harmony long, but if you stay, you’ll see it’s well named. The mated couples here are the happiest I’ve seen anywhere. The mating bond is something I hope to experience myself someday. I envy you that you’ve found your mates, and I can only hope to be so lucky. Don’t be ruled by fear. If you truly don’t love them, set them free now. Don’t drag it out another month.
“But if you do love them, know that they will love you until their dying breath. They are good men. They will move mountains to make you happy. Hell, Gabe would probably let you walk him on a leash every day if it made you happy. They all would. Now I’m going to bring you something to eat, and you will eat it all. You look pale, and you just came from Bodies in Harmony, so I know you have to be hungry.”
Penelope left without waiting for an answer. Samantha sipped her hot chocolate and then ate what her friend put in front of her without even really tasting it. Penelope had given her a lot to think about.
* * * *
Andy walked into his brothers’ art studio. Bart was frantically painting while his brothers watched. Nick and Eddie were already sprawled on the couch watching so Andy dropped into the easy chair beside it.
He looked around. The room was actually pretty comfortable. It was large with big windows and lots of light which he guessed his brothers needed to work. It was also surprisingly well furnished. He realized he hadn't been in there for years. His brothers had clearly furnished it with all of their family’s old furniture. He recognized the couch which his mother had replaced years ago, and he was sitting in his dad’s old chair.
He could see that Bart had sketched out the picture in charcoal and was now filling it in with oils. It was Samantha, nude, reclining on a bed, clearly replete from being well loved by her men. Her eyes were half closed, her face flushed with that post coital glow. Her breasts were on display, the nipples still hard and so realistically rendered that he wanted to reach out and lick them. He was getting hard just looking at it.
Bart had painted her so that one of her hands caressed her own breast while the other dipped lower.
Her lower body was partially covered by a sheet so he couldn't see where her hand disappeared, clearly touching herself. Andy wanted to pull it off her and bury his face between those shapely legs. If she was with them, she’d never have to pleasure herself. She’d have five mates to keep her satisfied.
Abruptly his cock deflated. But she didn't want them, not really. She enjoyed sex with them, but that was it. She didn’t want them. They were clearly just summer fun for her.
He looked over to his brothers. They looked like he felt, like their world was ending and they had no idea how to deal with it, except for Bart who was painting out all of his desire and frustration. He could see the tears streaming down his face as he delicately fi
lled in her lips. Andy couldn’t believe that he'd never kiss those lips again.
He could feel his heart breaking. He’d always just thought it was an expression, but now he realized just how real it was.
Chapter Fifteen
Samantha drove home on autopilot, her mind racing. Was she just scared, and if so, of what? It wasn’t fear of making the wrong choice in men. She knew they loved her and that she loved them. She was nervous about being able to sexually satisfy five of them every night. She knew they’d be demanding in bed, but that didn’t scare her anymore.
What scared her was the word forever. This decision was irrevocable once it was made. It was more than marriage. It was forever.
Penelope had been right about Gabe and the dog walking. He’d let her walk him and groom him and even shave his doggy body bald if it pleased her, and that scared her, too.
She puttered around the house as the day passed and darkness fell, ignoring the deadline, trying to think about anything else, but it was impossible. As darkness fell, she curled up on the couch with more ice cream, watching another soppy romance. She got up to get a glass of water and paused to glance out the window. It was dark, but she would see the outline of the wolf in the streetlight, waiting. It was Gabe. She knew it as surely as she knew her own name. He was out there waiting for his mate to choose him, his misery evident.
And then it came to her. All this time she’d been worried about how this mating would tie her to them and make her helpless with lust. She worried about being nothing more than a kind of sex slave to their desires, but she hadn’t been looking at it right. They were as tied to her as she was to them. Even without the mating, they were dependent on her. In fact, without the mating, she could go on with her life without them, but they would pine forever.
With the mating bite, they would be tied to each other. Gabe had said that they would have their own overwhelming need to please their mate, but she hadn’t really considered that part of it before tonight.
