by Lan Chan
One by one the graves stop spewing forth undead. When I could no longer feel the magic trying to push against my own, I let the roots go and toppled over. The rain came to an abrupt end. I was soaking. It wasn’t a great start. But for some reason I felt jubilant. I’d always loved the rain.
Kai reached out and lifted me to my feet. “You okay?”
I nodded. Behind me, Isla was still standing there. She was shivering.
“Thanks.”
Her eyes flicked past me. Her chest heaved. “If you ever hit me again, I’ll kick your ass.”
I punched her.
39
She came at me with her fists balled. Desi stepped in her way as Kai grabbed me and shoved me behind him. “What the hell are you doing?” he snarled at me.
“I’m done being bullied by her.” I went around him. “You have something to say to me?” I yelled at Isla. “Let’s do this!”
“You’re not having a fight right now,” Evan said.
“Well, I’m not waiting until she decides it’s the right moment to get rid of me either,” I said. “She’s already stabbed me once!”
Isla shrieked. “That wasn’t me!”
“Oh yeah right. As if you didn’t love it. I never did a thing to you!”
“Your very existence is an affront.”
Gwen growled. It came from the deepest base of her chest. “You’re a real bitch, you know that?”
“Me?” Isla countered. “Her kind shouldn’t be that strong. There’s something not right about her. I can feel it.” She turned her gaze to Kai. “I know you can too. Which is why we can’t understand why you’re protecting her?”
“What do you mean you can feel it?” My voice was small.
“She’s talking crap,” Kai said. He reached out for me. I stepped away.
“The seraphim might not have sensed demonic origins to your soul, but there’s darkness in your aura. Brigid has the sight. She’s seen you associating with demons.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You’re lying.”
“Why would we lie about that?”
“Why are you bringing this up now?” Desi asked.
“Because I don’t want to be anywhere near her. She’s evil.”
I looked at Kai. “Did you know about this?”
His expression closed over. I gulped back the tears. “Is that why Brigid wasn’t expelled? She told the Council about this and they excused her?”
I looked down at my hands. My eyes closed and I searched inside me for the well of my Earth Magic. It was there as usual. Glowing a shimmering blue that had always mesmerized me. And yet, when I dipped deeper, the blue became darker. It turned from sky to navy until it became a core of absolute black. I’d never wanted to go near those depths before. I’d been too afraid of what I might find.
Was Isla right? Was I evil disguised as something else?
A hand touched my shoulder. I blinked to find Kai in front of me.
“You’re not evil, Blue.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do.”
I shook my head at him.
“Evil doesn’t throw its life away multiple times to save the people it loves,” Evan said. I turned to find him smiling at me. “Nobody who saw you inside your grandmother’s room would mistake that for anything but love.”
“He’s right,” Gwen said. Her top lip quivered at Isla. “Screw this uppity wench.”
Isla huffed. “She just saved your scrawny ass,” Gwen said. “Without her you’d still be climbing trees.” She walked away shaking her head and muttering about the stupidity of some Fae.
“That’s it?” Isla said. “You’re going to trust her word just because she saved your life? Demons do all kinds of treacherous things to get what they want.”
“So do Fae,” Kai said. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and forced me to move ahead. “We’re leaving. You can stay here if you want. But if you’re going to come along, you try and hurt her again and I’ll take your head off.”
None of us were surprised when we heard her scampering behind. I wasn’t really paying attention to where we were walking. My mind was preoccupied with what Isla had said.
“Does your grandmother know about this?” I asked Kai.
“Yes, she does.”
“Raphael and Michael?”
“I think they’ve known all along.”
“Did you?” I pressed, already knowing the answer. I just wanted to hear it from him. For a long time he treated me like I was an evil jack-in-the-box waiting to spring. He grew quiet. I searched his profile.
“I knew there was something unusual about you. I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was.”
“What if I am demonic?”
He smirked. “What do you mean ‘what if?’ You’re a demonic pain in my ass. You have been from the very first second you got here. But evil? I don’t think so.”
He sounded so sure. I wanted desperately to believe him. But the darkness in me insisted there was more to it.
“What the hell?” Evan said. He’d been walking in front, lighting our way with his hands. When I looked up, the grass field disappeared. Skyscrapers now stood in place of the trees. The earth at our feet turned into a wooden boardwalk. I knew that skyline.
“Where are we?” Desi asked.
I gulped. “We’re in Melbourne. The Docklands.” I pointed to the left where the apartments gave way to the shipping yards. And the river. The filthy, stinking river. Something screeched to my right. My blood turned cold.
I spun with the rest of the group to watch as a low body scampered between the buildings. “What was that?” Gwen asked. Isla moved closer to where we were huddling. Goosebumps crawled across my skin.
“They’re rats,” I said. Just the thought of them made me break out in hives.
“They can’t be,” Isla sneered. “They’re enormous.”
“They’re magic rats then!”
Kai grabbed my arm. “We need to move.” He pointed to where a mass between two shipping containers undulated. My body turned to stone. All I could do was stare as the mass burst forward into dozens of rats the size of Rottweilers. Their eyes glowed red, throwing their long noses and sharp teeth into view. Their noses twitched. They hissed. Their rotund bodies slipped across the wooden planks. They were coming for us.
I screamed. My eyes closed.
Terror blanketed me. I could hear Randall’s gravelly voice laughing in my head.
“You scared of a little old rat,” he’d said while he’d dangled a fat rodent in my face. It hissed and spat, its claws trying to scratch at my face. He’s tossed it into the river, but instead of running away, it had come back up the bank and charged at us. I’d been the one to run.
But running wasn’t something my brain was telling me to do now. “Blue!”
Kai scooped me up in his arms. I buried my head in his chest, shivering. My ears filled with the screeching of the rats on our tail.
“In here!” Evan said. “This door is open.”
The city winked out as we entered a dark building. Evan’s light illuminated the inside of what seemed to be an abandoned warehouse. The smell of motor oil and fish made me gag. But it was nothing compared to the roiling in my gut as scraping began to be heard outside.
“They’re trying to find a way in,” Desi said. Her fangs made her speech slightly protracted. Her face had turned a ghastly shade of grey.
“Why the hell are they so big?” Gwen wanted to know. “And which sick freak on the Committee thought up rats?”
“It wasn’t the Committee,” Kai said. “The exam is manifesting from our minds. It’s making us face our deepest fears.” He was still holding me. The heavy thud of his heartbeat against my ear was the only thing stopping me from descending into a bout of pure hysteria. I wanted to climb the walls. I wanted to get as high as I possibly could so the rats couldn’t get to me. Even though we were inside, it was as though I could feel them touching me. Scratchi
ng and biting me.
“You scared of rats, Blue?” Kai asked.
I whined. Why the hell didn’t I bring a weapon? It was a ridiculous thought. No weapon I could hold would break through the hide of a rat that big. Magic rats at that. I remembered what I’d figured out in the graveyard. These rats were all too real. I wouldn’t be able to just curl into a ball and wish them away.
The screeching got closer. “Shit!” Evan said. “They’re clawing right through the wall!”
Just as he said it, a sliver of moonlight appeared in the wall near the ground. Kai set me down and stepped in front of me. The burning light on his sword flared. It lit up the whole room. In the new brightness, I saw that the ground was littered with bits of broken glass and metal. Scampering to the back of the line the others formed, I rooted around for something to use as a weapon. My back was turned when the first of the rats broke through the hole in the wall.
I felt it run towards us as though it were running along my skin. The thwack of Kai’s sword as it sliced through the rat was sickening. Tendon and skin snapped. I picked up a promising piece of solid metal. It looked like it had once been a frame for something.
I turned in time to see a black leopard pounce on a rat. Gwen sank spiny teeth into the neck of the rodent she had trapped. It twitched and scratched at her face every second until the moment it died. Transforming back, Gwen choked and sputtered.
“Its blood isn’t normal,” she said. “It’s so bitter.”
“Poison,” I whispered. I tried not to stare too openly at Gwen’s naked body.
The rats came in droves now. I squeaked and fell back. My insides turned to jelly. The metal rod I held on to hit the ground as my right arm lost strength.
It was nonsensical. The undead were far more dangerous than a bunch of insanely big rats. But I suppose that was why it was called an irrational fear. My mind went totally blank. While I’d been able to think past the logic that the undead would rip me apart, I couldn’t move a muscle. Not even when a rat managed to get past the line of the others.
My legs gave way. I buckled just as the rat leaped at me. My eyes closed. Somebody made a sound of disgust. Then I felt myself being lifted into the air. Thinking Kai had rescued me again, I opened my eyes to see a pair of golden wings fluttering above.
Isla threw me out of the way of the rat. She dove and landed upright. Her arm swung wide. She was holding onto a gleaming silver knife. It plunged into the side of the rat that attacked her. Jerking the blade upwards, Isla cut through the hide of the rodent like it was made of butter. The stench that permeated the air was like formaldehyde and brimstone. I choked.
Isla pushed the rat away. She braced her palms against the floor. Her breathing was rough. There was a long gash running down her neck.
Our eyes met for the briefest second. I saw the shadow rise above her and screamed. She lowered herself to the floor. The rat sailed above her head. And then another came at her from the side. While she was busy trying to keep the second one from ripping a hole in her gut, the first rat landed in front of me. It opened its mouth to reveal a pair of incisors along with a row of prickly teeth.
The circle was already in my mind when it pounced. It landed with a thud against the barrier. While a normal rat would take a moment to be confused, this magic rat rammed itself mercilessly against the circle. It was joined by another. And another. And another until all I could see was furry brown and grey bodies. They scratched, bit, and clawed. When one rat bounced off, another took its place.
I fell to my knees, curled my arms over my head and sobbed. That first year that Nanna had been institutionalized, I had slept inside a cardboard box. I enclosed myself because I was terrified to wake up and find the rats chewing on my feet. Sleep didn’t come easily as I listened for the telltale signs of their pattering feet. Once or twice they’d scraped at the cardboard trying to get a look at the prize inside.
Now I was doing it again inside the circle. Cowering in the hope that they would lose interest or something else might catch their attention. I could hear the others screaming. I couldn’t see them because of the rat bodies. They slammed their sides, their heads, and their tails against the barrier.
The magic in my mind reeled back. It was governed by my emotions. Right now my fear overrode everything else. I heard a blood-curdling scream. It sounded feline. It figured that the rats would go for Gwen. She was their natural enemy just like I was their natural prey.
A dozen red eyes blinked at me through my arms. Their rodent faces seemed to twist into a smile. I remembered my promise that I would prove myself useful in this exam. Instead, I was hiding inside my circle once more while the others fought with these rats that had come from the depths of my fear.
We had hardly started and I’d already failed. Kai’s voice shouted over the dim. “Blue! Where are you?”
The panic in his voice tugged at me. I’d never heard that tone before. It stripped him of his hard shell. I pushed myself up to a sitting position. The rats felt me unfurl and renewed their charge. Every breath I took was laboured. My heart jackhammered in my chest. My hands shook. I wanted to peel the skin from my bones.
My insides had turned into liquid. I swear I could feel the writhing bodies of the rats bumping against me. I felt them in my mind as heavy bodies. They were pushing harder and harder against the circle. Very soon it was going to break.
One of the rats chomped its teeth at the barrier. Its incisors were coated in blood. The sight of it had me stilling. It could be anybody’s blood. But in my mind, I heard Kai screaming. I knew if there was any way for him to get to me, he would do it. It wasn’t in his nature to leave someone behind.
The fact that he wasn’t here grated on my skin like sandpaper. Was that his blood? Was the reason he couldn’t come get me because they’d hurt him? The rat snapped its teeth at me once more. My whole body quivered. I stared into depthless brown eyes that promised to take a chunk out of me as soon as they broke down my circle.
You would give up because of vermin? It was the invisible friend in my head. I hadn’t heard this voice for a long time. Hardly ever since I’d joined the Academy. The disappointment in its tone was evident.
I’ve always been afraid of them, I thought back.
You fear a great deal of things, the voice reminded me. The question is whether you will let it get the better of you.
No way. The answer came to me without a moment’s thought.
There was no way I was going down like this. If a demon couldn’t break Nanna, then I wouldn’t break because of some rats. I cast around in the small circle for something sharp. There was so much debris on the floor that my fingers touched glass almost straight away.
The kind of magic that was used to conjure these rats had to be something dark. Nothing was darker than blood magic. I snagged the sharp end of the piece of glass against the tip of my finger. It hurt like hell. Once a trickle came out, I pinched both sides of my finger to turn the trickle into a stream.
Keeping my eyes locked on the rats, I drew a small circle. In my mind, I pictured the circle enclosing the warehouse and the surrounding buildings. I pressed my bleeding finger down onto the space inside the circle. One dot of blood for every rat that I could see. More dots for the rats I couldn’t see. Each time I pressed my finger down I thought of a phantom force tearing them apart. After a while there was no more room inside the circle.
I glanced down and the circle was more of a big red dot. My head was dizzy. I placed my hand over the circle and willed it to come alive. At first, not much happened. My vision swam in a blur. My ears filled with the high-pitched squeals of the rats.
And then a rumble began to build in the distance. It felt like thunder rolling over the ground. I placed my other hand over the one that was already pressed to the concrete. A red glow heated my palms. The bigger circle around me pulsed once and sputtered.
The rats reared. For one terrifying moment they flew at me. And then the red flashed so brightly I felt the im
age burn into the back of my eyes.
A ripple of red skated along the ground. It crawled over the rats. A terrible ripping sound filled the air. The aftershock blew me into the wall. My shoulders hit metal. I landed in a heap on the ground and cried out just as other voices cursed.
“Shit,” I croaked. My legs were weak, but I forced myself to get up.
The warehouse was blessedly silent. All of the rats were gone. I could breathe again.
“Blue?”
“I’m here.”
White light blazed. “What just happened?” Evan said. He was heaving. Kai reached out to pull me forward into his chest. He was breathing hard too, but I didn’t think it was exhaustion. I wrapped my arms around his waist.
“I thought you guys were dead,” I said. Kai snatched my hand.
“You’re bleeding.”
I gave him a weak smile. “I’m fine.” I didn’t mention that I’d created a blood circle. No need to get myself into bigger trouble. I knew then why Sophie had been so spooked. This exam was testing us against the things we feared most. Those irrational fears that weren’t rooted in any kind of experience. Sophie was terrified of spiders. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how big those spiders might have been.
“I think that part’s over,” Gwen said. No sooner had the words come out of her mouth did the landscape around us change.
The walls of the warehouse melted. Light flooded the surrounding area. I had to squint to see past my nose. The sudden brightness made my eyes water. Somebody groaned. Uh oh. We had a vampire in our midst.
Desi had been wearing one of those light pendants that allowed her to walk in the sun. But when my eyes adjusted enough to see properly, the pendant had disappeared. So had the Melbourne landscape. In its place was a small plateau. We stood upon the top of a cliff. The land around us was mountainous. Pines and conifers pushed their way up to the sky. A monstrous roar of water filled my ears. I didn’t need to look down to know that the water surrounded us. The scent was thankfully clean. It wasn’t saltwater so this wasn’t the ocean. Judging by the scope of it, it might as well be. There was nothing around us besides a precarious rope bridge. I couldn’t see the other end. I was about to ask whose nightmare this was when Desi fell to the ground.
