I narrow my eyes at him. "You sound like you've gone through it."
He bites his bottom lip, clearly deciding whether or not to admit what he's thinking to me or not. I could put him at ease and assure him I've already worked it out, but I doubt it'll work. He's wrapping himself up in knots over it.
"When I first arrived at the den, I was put under room arrest, like you were."
I nod. "I thought as much."
"How?" His shock shines through the question, even if he's trying his best not to let it show.
"The way you were talking about it then," I admit, seeing no reason to lie about it. "And I already figured out you'd done something wrong. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here with me."
He chuckles. "I should remember not to underestimate you."
"I wouldn't worry about it, everyone does."
"You're not just saying that, are you?"
I shake my head. "I'm an ex-hunter, remember."
"I'm not sure what that has to do with being underestimated," he admits.
I sigh, then take a sip of my tea as I attempt to collect my thoughts in a way that doesn't make me sound awful. I'm not sure there is a way. "The guild is ruthless. I'm sure you know that..."
"I don't actually know much about them," he admits. "I didn't arrive at Dimitri's den until after the guild had been disbanded. And before that...vampire hunters were an urban legend, but not something we faced."
I frown. What is he talking about? Hunters were a threat to vampires everywhere. There wasn't a corner of the world that didn't have at least one sect. Ashryn is still trying to stop them all, I believe. Except...
"You lived in the City Of Blood, didn't you?"
His eyebrows shoot up. "How..."
"I'm an ex-hunter," I repeat. "You think we didn't know about a vampire-run city that's virtually on our doorstep."
"Then why didn't any of the hunters do anything about it?"
"That's a good question," I admit. "I suspect some may have tried, but ended up dead. Or they decided taking out people in the City helped the vampires outside it too much. Honestly, I wouldn't expect anything like morals from the people in charge of the guild. They didn't have any."
"And the hunters themselves?"
I should have been ready for this question, but I'm not. Instead, it punches me in the gut. He's never going to see me as anything other than a monster.
"It's complicated," I whisper, my voice hoarse. I should have stuck to doing my work for the academy, and not let him pull me into the conversation. Oh well, it's too late now.
"Try me." He sets his mug down and leans forward.
"Will you tell me some of what it was like in the City Of Blood, then?" I counter.
An odd expression crosses his face. "If you want to know, yes."
I nod. "I do. It's been a mystery for a long time."
"Okay then, I will. But you go first."
I take a deep breath. I've never talked about this with anyone, not even fellow ex-hunters, not that I've seen any of them except for Ashryn since the guild blew up.
"Hunters are...pragmatic, I guess the word is. We're taught from an early age that our only worth is in how well we do what the guild wants us to do. In this case, kill vampires." I swallow the lump in my throat. "Most of us know it's wrong. But it's hard to say no. They bribe you as children, then threaten you as teenagers. By the time we reach adulthood, we're nothing more than slaves to the system. Even when we know it's wrong, we do it anyway..."
"I get that." His skin pales even more than usual, and I wonder what secret he's holding onto that's causing him so much pain. Is he going to tell me what it is?
I'm not sure what makes me do it, but I reach out and place one of my hands on his. It's still warm from being around my mug, and he startles slightly before settling down.
"I killed some vampires there," he admits.
"I know."
He looks up sharply. "How?"
"You wake up screaming in the middle of the day."
"That doesn't mean I killed people," he mutters.
"No, it doesn't. But you talk after you finish screaming. You shout that you're sorry, and you don't want to hurt them," I tell him.
"I don't. Their faces are all I can see at night. They beg me not to..."
I sigh loudly. "I know," I repeat. "The vampires I've killed do the same." I've never admitted that aloud, but I think he needs to hear it. I have to reassure him that he's not the only one with his kind of nightmare.
"Now I'm outside, I don't know why I did it," he says.
"You do," I counter. Because it's the same as what I go through with the guild. He doesn't need to fill in the gaps about what life is like in the City Of Blood, I can guess from the haunted look in his eyes.
He sighs loudly. "My Dad made me. At the time, I hated him for it. Not a lot. Just a little bit. But now I'm here and living a different life. I know he had no choice. The whole City is under the thumb of the mayor, and she likes to use threats and violence to control people."
I don't want to admit it out loud, but I'm transfixed. At the guild, we never could find out much about what went on in the City. Probably because vampires control it.
"He died. Executed, I think. But I'm not sure," he says.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, wanting to say something, but not having anything more than that in me.
"You shouldn't be. He rose through the ranks despite what he knew about being at the top. He put Mum and me in danger without even thinking twice about it."
"What happened to her?" I know the answer, it's easy to work out from what he's saying, but I think he needs to say it as part of his process.
"She died too. Killed in our house while she helped me escape. We'd had the plan in place for years, in case Dad was caught up in one of the purges. She was supposed to come with me."
"I'm sorry," I say again.
He looks up, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "She gave up her life so I could have one out here. And I'm wasting it."
"I can ask Ashryn to assign someone else as my guard," I say instantly. "You can start living the life you want?" I don't like the idea of that. It's taken us long enough to get to this point, I don't want to start over with someone new. But I don't say that. It's not my place to. If this is what he needs, then this is what he should have.
"No," he says firmly.
I cock my head to the side, trying to work out what's going on in his head.
"It's got nothing to do with me being your guard. But I promised her I'd try and be happy. That I'd live my life to the full. But here I am fighting it."
I frown. "Fighting it, how?" An odd sensation settles in my stomach. I think it may be hope, but I'm not sure. I've never felt it about someone like this before.
He takes a deep breath. "I want to go on a date with you."
His words land in the silence between us, and all I can do is blink as I try to process what he's saying and if I've heard it right. That isn't what I expected him to say. Ever. But I can't ignore the small leap of my heart as I consider them.
"Yes." The word slips out before I realise it. "I'd like that."
Shock enters his eyes. I don't think he expected me to answer that way, either.
"Really?"
I nod. "Yes. Really."
For the first time, Bryce looks his age. And while I can't see myself without a mirror, I'm sure I do too.
Chapter Twelve
I shuffle in my seat, trying not to let my nerves show too much. If any of the vampires figure out who I am, and the experience I have on the topic of Professor Jefferies' lecture, then I don't know what will happen. After showing up one of them, some must have their suspicions, even if they're not saying anything aloud. I almost wish they would, then I can get whatever it was they were going to do with me out of the way.
"Can anyone tell me anything about dhampirs?" Professor Jefferies asks.
A wave of chatter runs through the room. I'm not surprised. In a lecture on the his
tory of vampire hunting, it doesn't make much sense to be discussing dhampirs. At least, not to my classmates. I'm well aware of the connection. Ashryn must be laughing every time she thinks of me having to take this class. I'm not sure why she signed me up for it.
A student at the front shoots his hand into the air.
"Yes, Mr Foxwright?"
"Aren't dhampirs legends?" the student asks.
I roll my eyes, and before I think about it, I'm raising my own hand.
Professor Jeffries' eyebrows rise faster than I would think possible. "Yes, Miss Daniels?"
"My understanding is that dhampirs are presumed to be possible, but are very rare as humans and vampires don't always procreate. Especially because it's more like a turned vampire would be more likely to want a relationship with a human counterpart. But in the rare case they do happen, dhampirs are half-human, half-vampire offspring, normally sired by the vampire. They don't exhibit many vampiric tendencies," I say.
I catch Bryce's confused look from the corner of my eye, but I don't respond to it. I'll explain to him later if he wants me to.
"Very good, Miss Daniels. That is indeed the case. Do you know what connection they have to vampire hunting by any chance?" The interest on his face is clear, he wants to know what other knowledge I have, and where it comes from. As a human, I shouldn't have much knowledge of these matters, except if there's a more nefarious reason.
Like there is, I suppose. I may not be a hunter any longer, but I spent most of my life hunting down and killing vampires. I should be careful not to show too much of my knowledge in case anyone works it out.
And yet, I find myself wanting to say it all. Perhaps then, people will realise I'm smart and determined.
"In all likelihood, very little," I find myself saying. "Though there are multiple Eastern European traditions that suggest dhampirs are born with abilities that allow them to sense when a vampire is near, and that caused a lot of them to become hunters." I don't add that the dhampirs are said to have been a forerunner of the vampire hunting guild in some circles, but I know that's a lie. And if the guild found out about any, they'd have faced the same deaths as vampires did. To be honest, most days, I'm still surprised they didn't put an end to people like me. I'm sure they knew what I'm capable of.
I shake my head ever so slightly, ridding myself of those thoughts. It'll do me no good to dwell on it. The past is the past, and that's where I need to leave it.
"Very good," Professor Jefferies says, completely oblivious to the direction of my thoughts. "Dhampirs are thought to be incredibly rare for the reasons you laid out, Miss Daniels. No one is truly sure where the rumours of dhampir vampire hunters came from. There has been speculation that it was simply the widow of a turned vampire who started the rumours."
Emma's hand was in the air next. "Could it have been a vampire gone rogue?" she asks before Professor Jeffories even has time to register she wants to ask a question. He's a little taken aback, and I don't blame him.
"That is certainly a possibility," he announces. "And one that has been investigated fully. If you turn to chapter sixteen of your textbooks, you'll find more information on the subject."
I don't even have to do anything to make that happen. Bryce pushes his tablet to me. Our fingers brush as I take it from him, sending tingles up and down my arm.
Our gazes lock, and something indescribable passes between us. Perhaps he's merely wanting to warn me away from revealing too much about my past, but I don't think so. Things have changed since our late-night talk and him asking me on a date, even if we haven't done it yet.
I push those thoughts aside and begin to scan the chapter Professor Jefferies has sent us to. It goes into a lot of boring details about dhampirs, most of which I already know.
"Why are we learning about dhampirs?" one of the boys at the back asks. I don't know his name, or even what he looks like, but I do appreciate the question. This should stop me from saying too much of the wrong thing.
A slow smile crosses Professor Jefferies' face. "The whole point of this class is to fill you in on some of the darker history of our kind. Part of this is so we don't repeat the mistakes of the past, and some of it is so you can all learn how to watch for any situations that may result in your death."
"Then why is she here?" someone mutters from behind. I don't need any more than that to know they're talking about me.
I take a deep breath, but don't say anything. They aren't worth my time, and I have to remember that. Besides, this class is interesting in a way. I'm a little surprised by how matter of fact the vampires are about hunting. I thought they'd be painting the guild and its predecessors with a lot more derision than they do. One more way in which the vampires are the worthy survivors of the conflict between them and the guild.
"Is there a way to spot a dhampir?" Emma asks, flashing a quick look in my direction.
Wait, does she think I'm one? Because that's not likely. My Father sold me during the day. I remember it more vividly than I care to, given that it was the day my life changed forever, and not in a good way.
Professor Jeffories nods to himself. "That's an excellent question. If you read on in the chapter, you may find some examples of ways humans claim to be able to identify a dhampir, such as a lack of shadow, or in some extreme situations, a lack of bones..."
"A lack of bones?" Emma blurts without waiting for him to finish.
Bryce chuckles beside me. "She's going to get herself into trouble," he whispers to me.
I snort. "She seems like the kind who'll get out of it easy enough," I respond.
He smirks, then leans back in his chair. He's an enigma, that's for sure. He's warmed up to me far more than I expected, and far quicker. Especially considering we regularly sit in a class which discusses my old career path.
"The lack of bones seems to be something humans made up for why the dhampir couldn't be found after they accused someone and they weren't where they were supposed to be. There's no true creedence in it," Professor Jefferies says, excitement coming through every word. It's not hard to tell he's enjoying teaching a class that seems to want to learn about his passion. "If dhampir do exist, I suspect they'll be more like their human parent, perhaps with extra abilities that would more often be associated with vampires."
My blood runs cold as I process what he's saying. Extra abilities? Like my ability to sense the future? Could I be one of these dhampirs after all? My hand is in the air before I can stop it, and there's no backing down once the other students have seen it.
"Yes, Miss Daniels?"
"Could the extra abilities include seeing the future?" I blurt.
Bryce sucks in a sharp breath. I'm sure he's been wondering the same thing, but can't voice it as he technically isn't a student. I hope he's also already planning escape routes in case we need one in a hurry should this all go south.
The professor frowns. "I highly doubt it. Clairvoyance isn't often a trait associated with vampires. If a human exhibited signs of the skill, I'd be more inclined to think they had seer blood."
I frown, but don't ask what seers are. I don't want to reveal my ignorance of the other types of supernatural in the world. It'll only make my knowledge of vampires and hunting more suspicious.
Bryce pulls his tablet back to him, and taps a couple of times. He hands it back, and I find a grateful smile stretching my lips.
Seers are a subspecies of reapers, they can predict death, and see the spirits of the recently departed. The note is short, but it's enough.
"Thank you," I whisper. I'm sure I'm not alone in wondering if I have some of their blood in me. I doubt there's any way to find out, at least not without any knowledge of my family tree, something I wasn't privy to at seven years old, and have never even tried to look into. I'm not sure I see the point.
"I still don't understand what dhampirs have to do with vampire hunting," the boy at the back says.
Professor Jeffories sighs. "Then that will have to be the topic of this week's cou
rsework assignment. I want a short essay from each of you on the roles you think dhampirs played in the history of vampire hunting. You can use any resources you like, but please ensure you reference them properly."
Collective groans come from around the room, but I don't join in. I'm actually a little excited to look into the vampire side of this history. And to show off my own knowledge. Though I wonder if it'll even be possible for me to find other sources for the information the guild had. According to them, the dhampirs were nothing more than humans forming a vampire hunting cult. A sort of forerunner to the system they created. Perhaps Ashryn will know something about it. I'll have to remember to ask her about it when we have one of our monthly check-ins.
"Essays are due by the thirty-first," Professor Jefferies says over the noise of everyone packing up their belongings and bemoaning the extra essay we all have to do.
Chapter Thirteen
"Where are we going?" I ask, a hint of laughter in my voice.
"Nowhere too exciting," Bryce assures me. "We're not allowed to leave the academy."
Oh. I don't think I've ever considered that may be the case. But it makes sense. The whole point of sending me to Grimalkin alongside Bryce is so they can keep an eye on me. They're not going to let me wander around the nearby town in case I have plans of escape. It hardly matters that I don't. I want to be here. And more importantly, I want to gain the vampires' trust.
"Have you managed to commandeer one of the classrooms for a picnic, or something?" I half-joke. In reality, that's the kind of thing I'd do if I were the one planning a date without leaving the academy.
"In a fashion," he admits. "I got a raised eyebrow when I made some of the requests. But I think it's going to be worth it."
"It sounds intriguing." I don't try and work out what he has planned. I'm sure it'll become apparent momentarily.
We turn down the next corridor, one I recognise from when we head to the history classroom. At least I know where I am in terms of the academy.
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