My friends from school looked like they were sleepwalking through a dream. Which they were, kind of.
“This is crazy,” murmured Charlie Joe.
The rest of them nodded in agreement.
I introduced everyone to a few of the guys on the crew and showed them the craft services table (they were in awe), then we heard someone yell, “Hey!” Will, the long-haired guy from my audition, was running over to us at a full sprint. “Okay, kids, come with me!”
We all started to follow him into the main auditorium, but he stopped me. “Not you, Pete. The stars are using the mobile homes outside.”
“‘Stars?’” Katie said, rolling her eyes.
Oh, boy, here we go.
The scenes we were shooting in Eastport were about the day Sammy takes Clarissa to his hometown and shows her around, since she wants to see how regular Americans really live. They visit the ice cream parlor, the beach, and wind up at a place a lot like Jookie’s, where Clarissa tries air hockey for the very first time.
When you shoot on location, it’s different. For one thing, there isn’t a lot of room for things like dressing rooms and stuff, so they rent these giant mobile homes where the actors get ready. Main Street in Eastport was filled with so many trailers, it looked like an invasion from outer space. Not to mention the fact that the police had the whole street blocked off.
“Pete!”
I turned to see Shana getting out of her limo, accompanied by the usual five people that went everywhere with her, plus Bear the Chihuahua.
She came over to give me a big hug and kiss. “Did you and Mareli make up? I feel so bad about what happened. The websites went crazy!”
“They sure did,” I said.
“Well, I am going to be super nice to her today!”
“Do you think you can tell her that we’re not really boyfriend and girlfriend?”
Shana looked pained. “Oh, Pete, you know I would if I could. But I think we should just let the story build for a while. It will be so great for the movie!”
“Build, like, for how long?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” Shana said impatiently. “Stop bugging me about it. Ask Iris, it was her idea in the first place.”
Iris!?!? I couldn’t believe it. “What? Are you kidding me?”
“Yeah I know. She’s kind of a genius that way.” Shana took out a tiny mirror and started examining her face. “When are you going to introduce me to your friends properly?”
I shook my head. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Come on!” Shana put her sunglasses on. “I need to make sure they don’t hate me! Let’s do it before I go into makeup.”
I looked at Ashley, who glanced at her watch and sighed. By then, even I knew the first rule of show business: The star gets to do whatever she wants.
We headed inside and found my friends sitting around, waiting to be told what to do.
“What’s taking so long?” I heard Jake’s mom complain to a random crew guy. “These children are just wasting time, doing nothing!”
The crew guy just shrugged.
“Sorry, Mrs. Katz,” I told her. “Everything takes a long time in the movie business. There’s a lot of waiting.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Oh, so you’re an expert now? Very nice.”
“Some guy said they were going to come and take our measurements for clothes,” Hannah said. “But he walked away and we haven’t seen him since.”
“I’ll try to find out what’s going on,” Ashley told them.
Then, as if a lightbulb were switched on, everyone noticed Shana.
“Whoa,” said Timmy.
“Hey,” said Charlie Joe.
“I just wanted to welcome everyone to the set!” Shana chirped.
Everyone stared with their mouths open. Even the parents.
“Last night was crazy, huh?” said Shana. When no one answered her, she added, “I hope everybody has a great day!”
I heard a few gulps and gurgles from my friends, but no actual words.
“Anyway, I just love Pete,” Shana went on. “I have to tell you, he’s been so great to work with. A real professional.”
“A real professional?” said Charlie Joe. “Pete Milano? Are we talking about the same guy?”
“Yup! He’s awesome!” added Shana. I think she was trying to help. But judging by the looks I was getting from my friends, she wasn’t.
“She doesn’t mean it,” I said. “She’s just being nice.”
“I am not!” she said, smacking me. Then Shana spotted Mareli, and she put on her concerned face. “Hi again. You must be Mareli. Pete’s told me so much about you. I just want to make sure you’re not mad at me for last night. It was all a terrible misunderstanding.”
I looked at Mareli, waiting to see what she would do. After a few seconds, she came forward. “Hello,” she said.
They shook hands. “You really are so pretty,” Shana said. “And I love those earrings!”
Mareli tried not to look flattered. “Thank you. I made them.”
“You made them?” Shana’s eyes went wide. “That’s amazing! Can you make me, like, twenty pairs, in various colors?”
Mareli’s eyes went wide. “Twenty pairs? Seriously?”
“Totally seriously!” Shana looked at Ashley. “Hon, can you have Bernie write Mareli a check? That’d be great.” She looked back at Mareli. “Bernie does my money. Just let him know how much it will be.”
“You mean you’ll pay me?”
“Of course!”
A woman who had about fourteen rips in her jeans came up to Shana and whispered in her ear. “Well, see you guys later,” Shana said. “Gotta run.” And she was off.
Everyone watched her go, as if they were watching the President of the United States drive by.
“She’s really pretty,” Timmy said. “Like, really, really pretty.”
“I still can’t believe you know her,” Hannah said. “And I especially can’t believe you kissed her.”
But instead of answering them, I ran after Shana.
“What was that about?” I asked her.
She kept walking. “What was what?”
“Asking Mareli to make you twenty pairs of earrings? And saying you’ll pay her for them?”
Shana whirled on me. “What’s your problem? I told you I wanted to be extra nice to her!”
“You were showing off,” I said. “Showing off in front of my girlfriend. My real girlfriend! As opposed to you, my fake girlfriend.”
“Whatever,” Shana said. “I don’t have time for this.”
“You probably don’t even like her earrings.”
“You’re probably right.”
And she walked away, leaving me—as usual—halfway between my movie star life and my friends from home.
34
QUITE A SCENE
IT GOT WORSE FROM THERE.
The kids from school waited for two more hours while Shana and I shot some close-up dialogue. They weren’t even allowed to watch because it was a closed set—meaning, no outsiders.
Then, finally, we were ready to shoot the crowd scene.
“Okay, Pete’s pals, let’s do this!” Will yelled. By then, they were crashing from all the chocolate chip cookies and soda they’d scarfed down. But they dragged themselves over to the set.
“In this scene, Sammy is teaching Clarissa how to play air hockey,” Will explained. “You guys are going to be playing other various games in the background. At one point, one of you will come over and say, ‘Hey, you’re hogging the table.’ Who wants to do that?”
Charlie Joe, Eliza, and Timmy raised their hands.
“Okay, let me hear you each say it,” the guy said.
“Hey, you’re hogging the table,” Eliza said.
“Hey, you’re hogging the table,” Timmy said.
“Hey, you’re hogging the table,” Charlie Joe said.
The clipboard guy thought for a minute, then pointed at Charlie Jo
e. “You,” he said.
“So what do the rest of us do?” asked Katie.
“Not much, apparently,” answered Jake.
“Will they even see our faces?” asked Timmy.
“Most definitely not,” answered Nareem.
“This stinks,” concluded Eliza.
But wait, there’s more.
After we shot the scene the first time, Nano, who hadn’t even introduced himself to anyone, came over. “The shot is too crowded,” he announced. Then he pointed at Katie and Jake. “You two, please step out.”
“Step out?” asked Katie.
Nano didn’t answer, but his assistant gently guided the two of them back to the crafts services table.
The second time we shot the scene, Shana stopped in the middle. “I’m sorry, but something is distracting me,” she said. “I think maybe the light is bouncing off somebody’s earrings?”
“Nope, no shadows,” said the lighting guy.
Nano pointed at Mareli. “Let’s lose the earrings,” he said.
In the middle of the third take, Shana stopped again. This time she looked directly at Mareli. “Do you mind if I ask why you’re moving your arms so much?”
“I’m playing Ping-Pong,” Mareli said.
“Can we have Mareli do something other than play Ping-Pong?” Shana asked-slash-demanded. “She’s making these big sweeping motions with her arms and I can see it out of the corner of my eye. It’s distracting.”
Nano gave an impatient groan. “Can someone please have this young lady stand over by the soda machine?”
But Mareli wasn’t interested in standing by the soda machine. In fact, she wasn’t interested in standing anywhere. Instead, she came over to the air hockey table and parked herself right between Shana and me.
“I don’t think I want to be in this movie anymore,” she announced. Then she turned around and looked at Shana. “And I will not make you earrings for all the money in the world.”
As Mareli marched off the set, I felt my heart pounding. I looked around, not sure what would happen next. I caught Jake’s eye, and he whispered something to me, but I couldn’t quite hear what he said. I leaned closer, and he repeated it.
“Do something,” he said.
“Huh?”
“Do something,” he repeated.
And I understood.
“Wait!” I yelled. “Mareli, wait!”
Mareli stopped. “Now what? Another worthless apology?”
I ran over to her.
“Pete!” Nano barked. “Get back on set—we need to shoot!”
“Hold on,” I barked back at him. That got everyone’s attention. People on movie sets generally didn’t speak to directors like that. Even lousy directors.
“I want to leave,” Mareli told me.
“I know you do,” I said, “and I don’t blame you. But just let me say one last thing. I don’t like Shana. I really don’t. Maybe I was confused, because it’s confusing when a world-famous star acts like they like you, but I know the truth now. I like you.”
Mareli looked at me like she was trying to decide whether or not to believe me.
“Remember that dinner at my house?” I went on, “You kind of made it seem like you didn’t want to go out with me anymore anyway.”
“That’s not what I said,” Mareli insisted. Then she glanced over at Shana. “So she doesn’t like you?”
“Nope,” I said. “She’s just pretending that I’m her boyfriend so people will write about us as a couple to help the movie and make her real boyfriend jealous. That’s what people do in the movie business. They pretend.”
I suddenly realized how quiet it was, because everyone had stopped working so they could listen. Even the crew guys. And they don’t care about anything.
Mareli walked back over to Shana. “Is that true?” she asked.
“All I know,” Shana said, “is that usually when I kiss a boy, they look like they’ve just hit a home run to win the World Series. But not Pete.” She looked at me. “Pete looked like he struck out.” Shana smiled, and for a second she actually looked like any other fifteen-year-old girl. “Pete’s all yours,” she said to Mareli. “You’re the one he likes.”
I was pretty sure the home run line was from some other movie Shana was in, but I wasn’t about to tell Mareli that. Especially since she turned around and gave me a giant hug.
“I’m sorry I threw a cake in your face,” Mareli said.
“That’s okay,” I answered. “It was delicious.”
We both laughed. It was the best I’d felt in a long time. And it lasted about six seconds.
Which is when I felt a sharp tap on my shoulder.
I turned around and saw Nano standing there, twirling his obnoxious scarf.
“Hey, Nano,” I said. “Just give us a second.”
“Oh, I’ll give you more than a second!” he thundered. “I’ll give you the rest of your life!”
I looked at him. “What does that mean?”
He started pacing back and forth. “It means that this whole thing was a mistake. Auditioning you was a mistake, but I let Iris talk me into it. Casting you was a mistake, but I let Sheldon talk me into it. And letting your friends be extras and disrupt my set was the biggest mistake of all—and I don’t even know WHO talked me into that one! So either you end this little middle school drama right now and get back to work, or we can escort you right out of here, with the rest of your pals—because their short little movie careers are OVER!”
No one moved. The only sound you could hear was the buzzing of the fans that were used to keep all the equipment cool.
Then, finally, someone spoke. It was Charlie Joe.
“Who IS this guy?” he said.
Ashley walked over, trying to calm things down. “Everything is fine, Nano,” she said. “You don’t need to speak to Pete that way. If anyone caused this drama, it was Shana. Pete’s doing a great job on the movie; Mr. Felden is very pleased with his performance. So let’s just forget the whole thing and get back to work.”
“What do you know?” Nano told Ashley. “You’re just a babysitter.”
“How dare you,” Ashley hissed at him.
Nano shrugged. “We can forget it, as long as someone gets all these annoying kids out of here.” He turned to his assistant. “Get me some new extras up from the city, right away.”
Everyone slowly started going about their business, and it seemed like the craziness was over. Except for one person. One person was not quite ready to forget it.
Me.
I marched over to Nano. “Thank you for giving me the choice of either going back to work, or leaving with my friends,” I said. “I’ve thought it over, and I’m going to leave with my friends.”
I started to walk away, but then I turned back. “Oh, I almost forgot something.” I pointed at his big red scarf. “I’ve always really, really hated that thing.”
Then I grabbed the scarf, hugged Mareli, and ran.
Nano screamed bloody murder and threw in a few swear words for good measure. Then he bellowed, “STOP THAT LITTLE TWERP!”—which, by the way, is exactly what Mrs. Collins called me when I took her daughter’s pom-poms.
But I was too fast for all of them.
The last thing I saw as I sprinted out of Jookie’s was Sheldon Felden.
He was laughing his head off.
35
ON THE RUN AGAIN
SO, THERE I WAS AGAIN, running away after taking something I shouldn’t have taken.
But this time, I knew exactly where I was going, and I didn’t have a furious mother chasing me. Just a bunch of out-of-shape union guys.
I turned right out of Jookie’s, sprinted down Pine Street, looped around the little league fields, and hooked a left down Harding Lane toward downtown.
By the time I got to Just Brew It, I was out of breath in that uh-oh, I’m in trouble kind of way. It reminded me of the old days.
Which is probably why it felt great.
T
he tattooed guy with all the piercings was there, right where I’d left him. He gave me a little wave. Then I turned around, and sure enough, there she was—sitting in the same exact spot I’d seen her when I first met her, what seemed like a lifetime ago.
“Hey, Iris.”
She didn’t seem surprised to see me. “Hey.”
“How come you’re not at the set?” I asked.
“I’d just get in the way.”
“Oh.”
After a minute, I decided to bring it up.
“So, um … why did you tell Shana to kiss me in the restaurant?”
Iris closed her computers and looked at me. “Because I’m in the movie business, and I do whatever it takes to make sure my movies are successful. And lots of attention helps make a movie successful.”
I shook my head. “But you had to know what would happen.”
“And what happened?” she said, smiling. “You stood up for yourself, and everyone lived happily ever after.”
“Not necessarily,” I said. “Nano is about to kill me.”
She took a sip of her drink. “Well, it just so happens I have news about that as well.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, isn’t technology amazing? Have a seat, while I help sort this thing out.”
I did.
We sat there quietly, as I caught my breath. Watching her work was like watching someone with four hands. Finally, she looked up from her phone and chuckled.
“Well, that’s that. Sheldon just fired Nano.”
I wasn’t sure I heard her correctly. “What?”
“Yup,” Iris said.
“Jeez.”
“Don’t feel guilty,” she said, reading my mind. “I’m only surprised it took this long.”
She got up, gathered all her stuff, went outside, and got into a car. Somehow, I knew to follow her and get in, too.
“Guess who’s taking over?” Iris asked.
“I have no idea.”
She told the driver to take us to Jookie’s, then looked at me and smiled.
“Ashley,” she said.
36
BACK TO SCHOOL
AFTER NANO GOT FIRED and Ashley took over, the rest of the shooting went really well. Everything got back to normal—well, as normal as things can get when you’re shooting a movie.
Pete Milano's Guide to Being a Movie Star Page 11
