She wasn't seeing much with her eyes. Caked with blood and swollen from the beatings, they would hardly open. She wasn't hearing much with her ears, for the sounds around her were harsh and threatening, relentlessly so. And she wasn't feeling with her body, for there was nothing there but pain.
No, Shmi had fallen inside herself, reliving those moments long ago, when she and Anakin had lived their lives as Watto's slaves. It was not an easy life, but she had her Annie with her, and given that, Shmi could remember those times fondly. Only now, with the prospects for ever seeing her son again so distant, did she truly appreciate how much she had missed the boy over the last ten years. All those times staring up at the night sky, she had thought of him, had imagined him soaring across the galaxy, rescuing the downtrodden, saving planets from ravaging monsters and evil tyrants. But she had always expected to see her Annie again, had always expected him to walk onto the moisture farm one day, that impish smile of his, the one that could light up a room, greeting her as if they had never been apart.
Shmi had loved Cliegg and Owen. Truly she had. Cliegg was her rescuer, her dashing knight, and Owen had been like the son she had lost, always compassionate, always happy to listen to her endless stories of Anakin's exploits. And Shmi was growing to love Beru, too. Who could not? Beru was that special combination of compassion and quiet inner strength.
But despite the good fortune that had brought those three into her life, improving her lot a millionfold, Shmi Skywalker had always kept a special place in her heart reserved for her Annie, her son, her hero. And so now, as it seemed the end of her life was imminent, Shmi's thoughts focused on those memories she had of Anakin, while at the same time, she reached out to him with her heart. He was always different with such feelings, always so attuned to that mysterious Force. The Jedi who had come to Tatooine had seen it in him clearly.
Perhaps, then, Annie would feel her love for him now. She needed that, needed to complete the cycle, to let her son recognize that through it all, through the missing years and the great distances between them, she had loved him unconditionally and had thought of him constantly.
Annie was her comfort, her place to hide from the pain the Tuskens had, and were, exacting upon her battered body. Every day they came in and tortured her a bit more, prodding her with sharp spears or beating her with the blunt shafts and short whips. It was more than a desire to inflict pain, Shmi realized, though she didn't speak their croaking language. This was the Tusken way of measuring their enemies, and from the nods and the tone of their voices, she realized that her resilience had impressed them.
They didn't know that her resilience was wrought of a mother's love. Without the memories of Annie and the hope that he would feel her love for him, she would surely have given up long ago and allowed herself to die.
Under the pale light of a full moon, Anakin Skywalker pulled the speeder bike to the ridge of a high dune and peered across the desert wastes of Tatooine. Not too far below him, he saw an encampment spread about a small oasis, and he knew at once, even before spotting a figure, that it was a Tusken camp. He could sense his mother down there, could feel her pain.
He crept closer, studying the straw and skin huts for any anomalies that might clue him in to their respective purposes. One especially sturdy hut at the edge of the oasis caught and held his attention It seemed less tended than the others, yet more solidly constructed. As he came around a bit more, he grew even more intrigued, noting that only one hut was guarded, by a pair of Tuskens flanking the entrance. “Oh, Mom,” Anakin whispered.
Silent as a shadow, the Padawan slipped through the encampment, moving hut to hut, flat against walls and belly-crawling across open spaces, working his way gradually toward the hut he felt held his mother. He came against its side at last, and put his hands against the soft skin wall, feeling the emotions and pain of the person within. A quick glance around the front showed him the two Tusken guards, sitting a short distance in front of the door.
Anakin drew and ignited his lightsaber, then crouched low, shielding the glow as much as he could. He slid the energy blade through the wall and easily cut the material away, then, without even pausing to see if any Tuskens were inside, he crawled through.
“Mom,” he breathed again, and his legs weakened beneath him. The room was lit by dozens of candles, and by a shaft of pale moonlight, streaming through a hole in the roof, illuminating the figure of Shmi, tied facing against a rack to the side of the tent. Her arms were outstretched, bound at bloodied wrists, and her face, when she turned to the side, showed the weeks of beatings.
Anakin quickly cut her free and gently lowered her from the perch, into his arms and then down to the floor.
“Mom... Mom... Mom,” he whispered softly. Anakin knew that she was alive, though she did not immediately respond and had come down so pitifully limp. He could feel her in the Force, though she was a thin, thin sensation.
He cradled her head and kept repeating her name softly, and finally, Shmi's eyelids fluttered open as much as she could manage through the swelling and the dried blood.
“Annie?” she whispered back. He could feel her wheezing as she tried to speak, and knew that many of her ribs had been crushed. “Annie? Is it you?”
Gradually her eyes began to focus upon him, and he could see a thin smile of recognition coming to her battered face.
“I'm here, Mom,” he told her. “You're safe now. Hang on. I'm going to get you out of here.”
“Annie? Annie?” Shmi replied, and she tilted her head, the way she often had when Anakin was a boy, seeming quite amused by him. “You look so handsome.”
“Save your strength, Mom,” he said, trying to calm her. “We've got to get away from here.”
“My son,” Shmi went on, and she seemed to be in a different place than Anakin, a safer place. “My grown-up son. I knew you'd come back to me. I knew it all along.”
Anakin tried again to tell her to lie still and save her strength, but the words simply wouldn't come out of his mouth. “I'm so proud of you, Annie. So proud. I missed you so much.”
“I missed you, too, Mom, but we can talk later...”
“Now I am complete,” Shmi announced then, and she looked straight up, past Anakin, past the hole in the ceiling, to the shining moon, it seemed.
Somewhere deep inside, Anakin understood. “Just stay with me, Mom,” he pleaded, and he had to work very hard to keep the desperation out of his voice. “I'm going to make you well again. Everything's... going to be fine.”
“I love...” Shmi started to say, but then she went very still, and Anakin saw the light leave her eyes.
Anakin could hardly draw his breath. Wide-eyed with disbelief, he lifted Shmi to his breast and rocked her there for a long time. She couldn't be gone! She just couldn't! He pulled her back again, staring into her eyes, silently pleading with her to answer him. But there was no light there, no flicker of life. He hugged her close, rocking her.
Then he laid her back to the floor and gently closed her eyes. Anakin didn't know what to do. He sat motionless, staring at his dead mother, then looked up, his blue eyes blazing with hatred and rage. He replayed all of the recent events of his life in his head, wondering what he might have done differently, done better, to keep Shmi alive. He should never have left her here in the first place, he realized, should never have let Qui-Gon take him away from Tatooine without bringing his mother along, as well. She said she was proud of him, but how could he deserve her pride if he could not even save her?
He wanted Shmi to be proud of him, wanted to tell his mom all about the things that had come into his life, his Jedi training, all the good work he had already done, and most of all, about Padmé. Oh how he had wanted his mom to get to know Padmé! She would have loved her. How could she not? And Padmé would have loved her.
Now what was he going to do?
The minutes slipped past and Anakin just sat there, immobilized by his confusion, by a budding rage and the most profound sense of emptine
ss he had ever known. Only when the pale light began to grow around him, making the low-burning candles seem even thinner, did he even remember where he was.
He looked about, wondering how he might get his mother's body out of there—for he certainly wasn't going to leave it to the Tusken Raiders. He could hardly move, though. There seemed a profound pointlessness to it all, a series of motions without meaning.
At that time, the only meaning, the only purpose, that Anakin could fathom was that of the rage building within him, an anger at losing someone he did not wish to give up.
Some small part of him warned him not to give in to that anger, warned him that such emotions were of the dark side.
Then he looked at Shmi lying there, so still, seeming at peace but covered with the clear evidence of all the pain that had been inflicted upon her poor body these last days.
The Jedi Padawan climbed to his feet and took up his lightsaber, then boldly strode through the door.
The two Tusken guards gave a yelp and lifted their staves, rushing for him, but the blue-glowing blade ignited, and in a flash of killing light, Anakin took them down, left and right.
The rage was not sated.
Deep in his meditations, peering through the dark side, Master Yoda felt a sudden surge of anger, of outrage beyond control. The diminutive Master's eyes popped open wide at the overwhelming strength of that rage.
And then he heard a voice, a familiar voice, crying, “No, Anakin! No! Don't! No!”
It was Qui-Gon. Yoda knew that it was Qui-Gon. But Qui-Gon was dead, had become one with the Force! One could not retain consciousness and sense of self in that state; one could not speak from beyond the grave.
But Yoda had heard the ghostly call, and in his deep meditative state, his thoughts focused as precisely as they had ever been, the Jedi Master knew that he had not been mistaken.
He wanted to focus on that, then, perhaps to try to follow that call back to the ghostly source, but he could not, overwhelmed again by the surge of rage and pain and... power.
He made a noise and lurched forward, then came out of his trance as his door opened and Mace Windu rushed in. “What is it?” Mace asked.
“Pain. Suffering. Death! I fear something terrible has happened. Young Skywalker is in pain. Terrible pain.”
He didn't tell Mace the rest of it, that somehow Anakin's rush of agony manifesting in the Force had tapped into the spirit of the dead Jedi Master who had discovered him. Too much was happening here.
That disembodied familiar voice hung profoundly in Yoda's thoughts. For if it was true, if he had heard what he was sure he had heard...
Anakin, too, had heard the voice of Qui-Gon, imploring him to restrain himself, to deny the rage. He hadn't recognized it, though, for he was too full of pain and anger. He spotted a Tusken woman to the side, in front of another of the tents, carrying a pail of dirty water, and saw a Tusken child in the shadows of another nearby hut, staring at him with an incredulous expression.
Then he was moving, though he was hardly aware of his actions. His blade flashed and he ran on. The Tusken woman screamed, and was impaled.
Now all the camp seemed in motion, Tuskens rushing out of every hut, many with weapons in hand. But Anakin was into the dance of death then, into the energy of the Force. He leapt far and long, clearing one hut and coming down before another, his blade flashing even before he landed, even before the two Tuskens recognized that he had jumped between them.
A third came at him, thrusting forth a spear, but Anakin lifted an empty hand and set up a wall of Force energy as solid as stone. Then he shoved out with that hand, and the Tusken spearman flew away, fully thirty meters, smashing through the wall of yet another hut.
Anakin was off and running, off and leaping, his blade spinning left and right in a blur, every stab taking a Tusken down, writhing to the ground, every slash putting a piece of a Tusken on the ground.
Soon none were standing against him, all trying to flee, but Anakin would have none of that. He saw one group rush into a hut and reached out across the way, to a large boulder in the distance. It flew to his call, soaring across the sand, smashing one fleeing Tusken down and flying on.
Anakin dropped it on the hut full of Tuskens, crushing them all.
And then he was running, his strides enhanced by the Force, overcoming the fleeing creatures, slaughtering them, every one.
He didn't feel empty any longer. He felt a surge of energy and strength beyond anything he had ever known, felt full of the Force, full of power, full of life.
And then it was over, suddenly, it seemed, and Anakin stood among the ruins of the encampment, dozens and dozens of dead Tusken Raiders all about him, and only a single hut still standing.
He put his lightsaber away and walked back to that hut, where he gently and reverently scooped his mother's body into his arms.
= XXI =
“There!” Padmé announced, as she hoisted C-3PO back out of the oil bath. She had to fight hard to keep from giggling, for she had inadvertently lowered the droid too far, and now he was waving his arms about crazily, yelling that he was blind.
Padmé yanked him over to the side and found a cloth to wipe the excess oil off of his face. That done, she set the droid down on the floor and unhitched him.
“Better?” she asked.
“Oh, much better, Miss Padmé.” C-3PO waved his arms about and seemed quite pleased.
“No itches?” Padmé asked, inspecting her work.
“No itches,” C-3PO confirmed.
“Well, good,” she said with a smile. But her smile faltered as she realized that she was done. She had used her work with the droid to shield her from her fears over the last hours—she had hardly even realized that the sun had risen—and now those fears for Anakin were already coming back to her.
She was running out of places to hide. “Oh, Miss Padmé, thank you! Thank you!” said C-3PO. He came forward, his arms outstretched to hug her, but then he moved back suddenly, seeming to remember himself and his sudden lack of protocol.
“Thank you,” he said again, with a little more dignity. “Thank you very much.”
Owen Lars entered the garage area. “Well, there you are,” he said to Padmé. “We've been looking all over for you.”
“I was out here all the time, giving Threepio a much-needed bath.”
“Well, Padmé,” Owen said, and when she turned to regard him, Padmé saw that he was grinning widely. “I'm returning this droid to Anakin. I know that's what my mom would want.”
Padmé smiled and nodded.
“He's back! He's back!” came Beru's call from outside the garage. Smiles gone, Padmé and Owen turned and rushed out.
They caught up with Beru outside, and Cliegg soon joined them, his h overchair banging and clunking against furniture and doorways as he glided out of the house. “Where?” Padmé asked. Beru pointed across the desert.
Squinting and shielding her eyes from the glare of the suns, Padmé finally marked the black dot that was Anakin, rushing toward them. As the speck grew into a distinguishable form, she realized that he was not alone, that there was someone tied over the back of the speeder.
“Oh, Shmi,” Cliegg Lars said breathlessly. He was trembling visibly.
Beru sniffled and struggled to keep from sobbing. Owen stood beside her, his hand draped across her shoulders, and when Padmé looked over at them, she noticed a tear sliding down Owen's cheek.
Anakin crossed into the compound a few moments later, pulling up short of the stunned group. Without a word, he dismounted and moved to unstrap his dead mother, lifting her and cradling her in his arms. He walked up to Cliegg and paused there for a bit, two men sharing a moment of grief.
Then, still without speaking, Anakin walked past the man and into the house.
All that time, the thing that struck Padmé the most was the look upon Anakin's face, an expression unlike anything she had ever seen on the Padawan part rage, part grief, part guilt, and part resignation, ev
en defeat. She knew that Anakin would need her, and soon.
But she had no idea of what she might do for him.
There wasn't much talking in the Lars homestead the rest of that day. Everyone just went about their chores, any chores, obviously trying to avoid the outpouring of grief that they all knew would inevitably come.
At work preparing a meal for Anakin, Padmé was surprised when Beru came up to help her, and even more surprised when the woman started some small talk with her.
“What's it like there?” Beru asked.
Padmé looked at her curiously. “I'm sorry?”
“On Naboo. What's it like?”
Padmé could hardly even register the question, for her thoughts remained with Anakin. It took her a long time to respond, but finally she managed to say, “Oh, it's very... very green. You know, with lots of water, and trees and plants everywhere. It's not like here at all.” She turned away as soon as she finished, and knew she was being a bit rude. But all she wanted was to be with Anakin, and so she started loading the food tray.
“I think I like it here better,” Beru remarked.
“Maybe you'll come and see it someday,” Padmé said, more to be polite than anything else.
But Beru answered seriously. “I don't think so. I don't like to travel.”
Padmé picked up the tray and turned to go. “Thanks, Beru,” she said with as much of a smile as she could muster.
She found Anakin standing at a workbench in the garage, working on a part from the speeder bike.
“I brought you something to eat.”
Anakin glanced at her, but immediately went back to his work. She noted that he was exaggerating every movement, obviously frustrated, obviously distracted from the task at hand. “The shifter broke,” he explained, too intently. “Life seems so much simpler when you're fixing things. I'm good at fixing things. I always was. But I...”
Finally he slammed down the wrench he was using and just stood there, head bowed.
Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones Page 23
