by Abra Ebner
A content smile filled his face as my heart rate quickened. “Well then at least that’s good right?” He winked at me as I eyed the woods behind him, still wondering if he knew I had gone there.
We had arrived at the cabin, and as expected, his stride slowed to a halt.
He turned to face me, “So, now I have a question for you. I don’t want to be too presumptuous but…” he was confident and unfaltering.
I gave him an accusing stare.
“I’m not really the type to have the boyfriend talk, but you know. I suppose, if you’re up for it, Why not?” he asked, but his eyes looked as though he already knew my answer.
This felt cheesy, and I wondered if this was how it always was when a guy asks a girl to date. There was a sudden air of awkwardness between us and I gulped. Making this official felt like I was signing a contract, bounding myself to someone I wasn’t quite convinced was completely safe, or that I even really knew. There was also the obvious fact that, though he seemed close to my age, he was still my professor.
“I uh…” I ran my foot through the gravel.
He smiled. Somehow content with my somewhat shocked reaction, “Well then good.” He nodded his head once, as though affirming the answer I never gave.
I snapped my eyes up to meet his, “But I didn’t even…”
He cut me off, “Yeah but I know your answer, even if you don’t.”
I glared at him, refusing to give him any sort of gratification.
He chuckled, “So then I guess it’s goodbye for now, I’ve said enough.”
I felt my enthusiasm slow as he spoke those words. My face sank, I wanted to be around him, I did, and so what? A boyfriend was harmless, or so it had always seemed to the other girls.
“But,” he continued, “I’ll be back later.” He winked at me again with one glowing eye, pulling his glasses out of his pocket and pulling them over his smooth face in one fluid movement.
I was left speechless as I stubbornly tried to give him a cold stare.
“Oh come on,” he mused, “What’s life without a little unpredictability, a little adventure? I won’t let you down.”
His sarcastic grin made my knees weak. He turned on his heel, giving me a quick wave as he took off down the hill, leaving me hanging on his final words. I stood there stunned for a moment, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Did that mean that I was his girlfriend now? I was completely flustered as I finally turned and stormed into my cabin.
I threw my bag down on the bed as the extra apple I’d gotten rolled onto the floor. I picked it up as I felt my stomach grumble with hungry anger. Even though I’d just eaten an apple my body was craving a greasy pizza, which I was certain they wouldn’t have here.
As I paced the tiny room, I finally gave in, figuring the cafeteria would at least be able to serve something that could distract me, even if it wasn’t food. Anything that could take my mind off Edgar and the way I’d felt in his presence. I grumbled to myself, walking back out the door and slamming it behind me.
As I pulled open the large doors to the cafeteria, a shrill screech erupted from the corner of the room and I closed my eyes, praying it wasn’t meant for me. Opening them again, I looked in the direction of the disturbance and my notions were affirmed. I saw Sarah jumping up in excitement and no part of it took me by surprise.
“Elle!” she yelled as everyone in the room turned to look at either her or me.
I nervously looked around the room, baring my teeth in an awkward attempt at looking cheerful as my cheeks flushed in utter embarrassment. I rushed over to where Scott and Sarah sat as I kept my head ducked in my hopes that people would quit staring.
“Hey Elle,” Sarah sang again as I got close.
“Shh, Sarah I’m right here, there’s no need to scream,” I put my hands up to calm her.
She gave me a confused look as though she hadn’t realized and to my surprise, she was eating a piece of pizza from a large round in the middle of the table. “You want some?” she asked, apparently noticing the drool that was collecting in my mouth.
“Yes!” I hissed, “You read my mind!” I gave her a thankful wink and her look of confusion turned to one of pride.
“So Elle,” Scott chimed in, “How was the rest of your evening, anymore life threatening stories?”
I pursed my lips and gave him an evil stare, “No.” My mouth was full of what I was trying to identify as tofu cheese, but still, as long as I pretended it was real, that was all that mattered at this point.
He laughed, “I was just kidding.” He gave me a gentle nudge on the shoulder.
I swallowed. “Oh I know,” I added, “I was just giving you a hard time. So what did you guys do?”
They eyed each other and smiled and I deduced I probably didn’t need all the details.
“Well,” Scott began to blush, “She beat me at Monopoly, that’s about all.” The crack in his voice suggested otherwise and I felt my stomach lurch at the nauseating thought of them engaged in any sort of intimacy.
“I could never stand Monopoly,” I was trying to ease the mood, regretting the fact I’d even asked. “It’s too long, and there are too many rules,” I snorted as I grabbed another slice of what I’d finally identified as whole-wheat tofu-pepperoni pizza.
“Yeah,” I could tell Scott was working to change the subject, “So are you going to tell anyone about the bear you saw?”
I froze. The truth was there was no bear, but technically you’re supposed to report sightings so that other hikers are aware. “Uh,” I shoved a huge bite in my mouth, chewing and nodding in compliance.
He smiled, “Oh good because if you weren’t up to it, I would have done it for you.”
“Yeah or I could,” Sarah chimed in.
They were like twins or something.
I waved them away, “Oh no, I got it handled.” The last thing I needed was for them to tell on me and then for Edgar to find out I was out there.
He laughed, “Yeah I suppose Professor Edgar is the one who handles that anyways, you know, might give you a chance to ask him out.”
I blushed, my mouth shut in defiance.
“I’m just kidding Elle, calm down, you look absolutely terrified.” He nudged me and I choked.
Sarah gave us both a strange look, “Estella has a thing for Professor Edgar?” She crinkled her nose. “I mean, how old is he?”
My eyebrows perked, I knew the answer to that, “Oh, apparently he’s eighteen or nineteen, I asked him.”
Scott chuckled in disbelief, “You actually asked him that?” His face was turning red with laughter. “Elle, you really do have a death wish. I’m surprised he didn’t decapitate you then and there.”
This time it was me that shoved Scott.
“Hey now,” he chortled, “No need to result to violence.”
They were both giggling now and I gave them a playful look of disregard.
Sarah caught her breath, “How does that work, he’s been here for like, five years.” She began counting on her fingers under her breath.
I shrugged, “Good genes I guess. He must be the long lost discoverer of the fountain of youth.” I was proud of the fact I’d actually made a joke, my first in history.
They both laughed as I said it, and deep in my soul, I felt the same flicker try to ignite my happiness.
SOUL MATE
Later that evening, I found myself pacing in my silent room. The desperate suspense was irritating and I had wished that for a moment, I hadn’t left Scott and Sarah so soon. I flipped through a few books, but found that wasn’t helping as my irritation grew, and my attention faltered. At dusk, I finally gave up and walked outside as the stars began to emerge.
The continuing cool weather signaled that fall had officially descended on the college and I was amazed by how fast it had all changed over one weekend. The mountains were dotted with orange where the occasional leafy tree emerged amongst the evergreens, but considering the cruel winters, there weren’t many t
rees like that. I looked at the lake down the hill as the dawning moon lit a long stripe of blue green across the surface. As I watched the rippling water, I thought about the story Nurse Dee had told me about the color and how it was created, wondering now, if something like that were even possible.
A part of me craved Edgar’s companionship, but part of me couldn’t help but feel cautious toward him. I needed to figure out the purpose behind his need to be so obtrusive, so forward. My thoughts were relentlessly tickling my mind with the idea he was a sort of magic devil. Surely he was no angel. He was too dark for that.
A strong wind blew then, and I noticed a familiar scent as it froze all my thoughts. I closed my eyes, trying to pinpoint its exact origin. It was something floral, yet warm, like spring would smell when the trees came back to life. I heard a few leaves blow past as I slowly opened my eyes. I jumped, grabbing my chest and gasping for air as Edgar now stood before me, appearing out of nowhere like a ghost.
“Hello,” he said in a peaceful voice.
I looked at him with alarming surprise as I swallowed a few times, calming myself.
He laughed again, “Sorry I keep sneaking up on you.”
I gave him a reproachful glare, “Maybe you should try creeping up with warning, like normal people do. Maybe even make some noise, footsteps are a good start, or take up whistling.”
He walked forward and sat down next to me on the porch, close enough to converse, but still an arms length away. “But then I’d be like normal people,” he said with a sly smirk, “and normal people are boring.”
His serene body language was strange. The way he moved was as though he’d harnessed the wind and yet with a possession of power that made me feel fragile in his presence. I crossed my arms and looked toward the darkened sky, thousands of stars now glowing above us through the crisp air.
Edgar sighed, “Beautiful aren’t they.” He drew in a heavy breath, closing his beautiful reflective eyes and drinking in the scent of the night.
I nodded, analyzing his movements.
He dropped his gaze to me. “So, since we are still getting to know one another,” a crooked smile crossed his face, he was enjoying the little game he’d started. “What do you think of me?”
I gave him an ominous glare, “Truthfully I think you’re dangerous.” I could tell my blunt remark took him off guard, stinging his ego.
He laughed. “Maybe,” he paused, “But not to you. Like I’ve told you already, I won’t ever hurt you.”
The way he said it sent chills down my spine. No matter how hard I tried to believe that he’d never hurt me, I just couldn’t. “What…” I paused to gather my swimming thoughts, “What was it the first time I saw you than? Why did I feel so…” I struggled to find the right words.
“Weak?” Edgar asked with knowing curiosity.
“Yeah,” I began to fidget with my shirt hem. “I felt so completely drained, and the pain,” I put my hand to my chest, “I felt like I was choking.”
His head gravely nodded, no spark of humor to his face, “It’s something between us, something powerful that I had to be prepared to control but couldn’t.”
My curiosity bore a hole through his face as I stared, hungry to know more, urging him to look me in the eyes, “Do you know what it is, this powerful thing between us?”
He shot his eyes toward me, their magnificence pulsing in my bones, “Yes, I do.” He was searching my face as though remembering something about it, “But, I’m not sure you’re ready to hear it just yet.”
Frustration blazed in my eyes. “You keep saying that, but why not?” A curt tone washed over my previously curious voice, “I need to know what I am. I can’t do this anymore.” It was times like this I’d wish I could cry.
Edgar looked shocked at my sudden depression and moved closer as I heard his jeans brush against the wood of the deck. I saw him looking at me from the corner of my eye and I noticed a deep sadness cross his face. For a moment he seemed to weigh his options, hesitating to make his next move. I heard him swallow as he reached toward my arm and my heart rate spiked. He halted for a moment as though he had made a mistake, but as my mind screamed for him to do it, his hand continued toward mine where he brushed one finger down the length of my palm. Holding my breath, I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect, but as a tear formed in my eye and rolled down my cheek, I felt an overwhelming sense of emotion fill my darkened soul.
I gasped, bringing one shaking hand to my face in astonishment. “What…” my throat was choked as he drew back and I shot my eyes to meet his, “How did you do that?” I was frantic, almost to the point of hysterical.
He smiled, “That’s what I want to tell you, but I don’t know how.”
I searched his face, “You know don’t you, you know how to make me feel.”
He shook his head, “No, I don’t. But I was hoping maybe you did. But apparently not.”
I furled my brow, “I don’t understand.” I reached a shaking hand toward him but he backed away.
“Elle, you don’t know what kind of power you possess over me, you will kill yourself if you aren’t careful,” his eyes were apologetic but adoring.
My gaze fell from his and I dropped my hand as the emotion in my soul faded. “But, you touched me,” I added, like a child.
“Yes,” he looked to the stars. “But it was hard. It takes a lot of self control for me to do that.”
I nodded in solemn compliance.
“You and I are opposites, of sorts. Like a battery. There is a positive end and a negative, but that doesn’t mean they go together without their flaws.” I hung on his words with thirst as he continued, “Our history goes far beyond all you know,” he watched my face for a reaction, “When I said we were the same age, I meant…”
He stopped, careful with his words as though trying not to shock me but I didn’t care anymore, life was worthless without my sense of happiness.
“Please Edgar, anything you can tell me.” His gaze fell to mine and I could see he was struggling to resist my desperation.
“It’s just that we’ve been here a long time, if not in body, then in soul. I deeply wish you could remember it all.” I saw the emptiness in his eyes, “But this is one outcome we had expected and it was a risk we had to take.”
I didn’t know exactly what his vague explanation meant or what “we” entailed, but I was certain for the first time I wasn’t feeling out of place, something about this moment felt like home.
“Then what are we?” I asked, rather bluntly.
A smile returned to his face. “Well,” I saw his imagination begin to grow as his eyes grew bright with thought. “Some used to call us witches,” he paused, watching the reaction on my face, “but the term seems cheesy, so I try not to use it. And there are some that called us the devil, and others, more pertaining to you, the angels. I tend toward the word unique. It sounds human enough that it doesn’t seem so crazy.”
My thoughts flashed to the legend, “Diablo Lake,” I whispered and he looked at me with a spark of interest.
“You remember that?” he asked with excitement.
I stared into his eyes as adrenaline poured into my veins, “What do you mean by remembered that? The story is hundreds of years old, of course I don’t remember that.”
The excitement faded from his face.
“I just heard the legend, about how it was made,” I added softly.
He sighed. “Well, yeah,” disappointment washed over him, “maybe it’s a good thing you don’t remember that day, that was about the last time I saw you.”
My mind was wildly swimming, “What do you mean?”
“When I saw you in your…” he paused, a weird look crossing his face, “past life.” The way he said it seemed unclear.
I could see there was a strange connection between what I was then, and what I am now. “What was I to you in this past life?” My eyes searched his but he again looked away.
“Just,” he shrugged, “a friend, of sorts.�
� I saw a shy smile curl across his face and I suddenly recognized why he was acting so forward toward me, he had loved me.
He smiled, “But that was ages ago.” He was changing the subject, “Right now, you don’t know me at all. Let’s go do something less depressing,” he stood with sudden determination, urging me to follow.
“Where are we going?” I breathed, staggering to a standing position as the adrenaline inhibited my movement. He was tall, something I hadn’t really noticed due to my overall fascination with his model physique.
“I want to show you some things from your past,” he sounded frank.
He urged me to follow him as we slowly strolled down the hill. I watched him as he walked, his gate poised and dominating. Every thought in my head had been jumbled like a web of imagination and it was hard to organize all the things he’d told me. I couldn’t believe I was a witch, and he was right, it did sound cheesy. It’s not like I was green and covered in warts, and as far as I knew, water never made me melt. Besides, I had never once done a single magical thing, well, unless you counted the plants. I furled my brow and shook the image from my head, this was absurd.
We walked in silence toward the lab as he began fishing in his pockets for the keys as we approached. He was swift to unlock the door, inviting me in as he held it open for me. I entered the room with caution, still remembering my dream. I stood staring into the darkness, waiting just inside the door while he came in behind me and turned on a light. I followed him past the aisles of empty work stations until we arrived at the mysterious door to his office and what I supposed was also his apartment. He pulled out a second set of keys from somewhere near his lapel, unlocking the door and ushering me in.
The office was dark but a strange feeling of occupation overcame me. As I glanced around the room I was shocked by the flicker of half a dozen tiny flashing lights facing me. He walked into the darkness to my right and I was unsure exactly where he was headed but figured he’d obviously known better than I. With a sudden crack, I heard a harsh scratching as a match struck against the rigid wall and a soft light filled the room. Edgar delicately lit some candles and the six intense flickering orbs turned into three pairs of bird eyes.
