by S. Nelson
I turned to look at Zoe. She hadn’t moved an inch from my side. I only hoped she didn’t think me less of a man because of my phobia.
I supposed the only way to find out was to ask, so that’s exactly what I did.
“You don’t think I’m a pussy now, do you?”
“Because of the needle issue? No. We all have our thing.”
“What’s yours?” All my thoughts were now transfixed on finding out more about the gorgeous woman staring right at me. I barely heard Addy gather her things and disappear from the room, leaving the two of us alone.
For as much as I wanted to claim Zoe as mine, I wasn’t such a selfish bastard that I’d keep her in harm’s way. Although, I didn’t want to let her go, either. We were at a crossroads right now. Well… I was, at least. She wasn’t privy to all the random thoughts floating around inside my overactive brain. This thing between us was new and I didn’t want to scare her away by rambling on about her only being mine and all that shit.
“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me your real name,” she answered, trailing her nails up and down my arm.
She lowered her hand until her fingers entwined with mine again. “With me laid up like this, you know you can just grab my ID and look for yourself.” I’d snatched my wallet away from her when she tried to check before, but right now I couldn’t do any such thing. “There’s not much I can do to stop you.”
“I want you to tell me.”
I shook my head.
“Why don’t you want me to know?”
“Because.”
“Because you don’t like it or because of some other reason?”
“I don’t hate it, but it’s… different.”
“You’ll tell me soon enough. I’m sure of it.”
“I wouldn’t hold your breath, woman.” I smiled, but when I shifted on the bed, a ripple of pain coursed through me. While I was busy breathing through the discomfort, Stone shouted from the hallway.
“Zoe! Kaden’s on his way over. Let’s go.”
She fiddled with the blanket covering me, not making any attempt to move from her spot. I studied her face, wishing I could erase all her worry for me.
I’d had a couple relationships in the past, the longest lasting two years, but I never felt for them what I did for Zoe, and I hadn’t even known her that long. Besides my crazy attraction toward her, there was something else pulling me to her, something I couldn’t explain, nor did I want to. I didn’t want to question what it was for fear it would disappear upon dissection.
“Zoe!” This time Addy was the one to yell for her.
“You better go. I don’t need Stone stomping back in here because if he gets pissy with you, then that’s only gonna make me mad.”
“Okay. But I’ll be back as soon as I can. Then maybe I’ll give you a sponge bath.”
“Don’t tease me.”
“If you can handle it, you know I’m gonna.” She leaned over and pressed her lips to mine, pulling back before I could deepen the kiss, and it took everything I had to restrain myself from pouting. Her fingers untangled from mine and she stood, glancing back at me twice before finally leaving the room.
As I watched her walk away, I knew I’d be counting the minutes until she came back.
I hated to admit it, but I had it bad.
2
This would only be the second time I was going back to the house to see my dad since everything happened five days ago, when I saw him lying on the couch in the clubhouse, blood soaking his clothes.
He’d always been the example of strength to me growing up, and even as I became an adult, so to see him in such a state was unnerving and heartbreaking all wrapped into one.
The first time I stopped by to see him, he’d found out about me helping Brick and was none too happy. And that was putting it mildly. I figured it best for his recovery as well as my state of mind to keep my distance physically. I had a plan this time if he started in on me again. I’d just change the subject. Even thinking such a thing was ridiculous because he was a stubborn man, overprotective of me to the point he sometimes treated me like I was still a little girl.
Roman “Ryder” Casteel was a man’s man. He was tough, fiercely loyal, and possessively loving with his wife, Braylen, my stepmom. He was also a loving but stern father, more so toward me than with Roman. Granted, my half brother was only ten, but I was curious to see how he’d treat him as he got older.
Would it be the same for him as it had been for me?
Would he prohibit anyone from the opposite sex to be in his bedroom with him?
Would he question him constantly about where he was going and with whom?
Would he insist on meeting his friends’ parents?
Would he tell him he couldn’t date until he was twenty-five?
My gut told me no, simply because Roman was a boy.
When I was young, my dad would come to Illinois where I lived with my mom. He’d visit twice a year, calling often to check on me. Then when I was around twelve, I came out here to California to see him. Whenever I asked why I hadn’t been here before, he’d just tell me things were different, never fully explaining. I believed he used the word safe once or twice, but I had no idea what he’d been talking about. When I asked my mom about it, she answered much the same as him.
Stone and Addy walked ahead of me into the house, but I stayed out on the porch. I needed a minute before going inside. Not only was I worried about the state I’d see my dad in, praying he was healing quickly, but I was trying to prepare myself for the argument that would ensue once he asked about his fellow brother. The man I’d been caring for. The man I’d been sleeping with all along, although that last part he wasn’t aware of, even though I was sure he had his suspicions. Braylen told me she hadn’t said anything to him about us and I believed her, but my dad wasn’t a stupid man. If anything, he was overly intuitive, or maybe that was only when it came to me. His only daughter.
Oh, I pray this new baby is another girl.
Looking around at the beautiful piece of property, appreciating the grand oak trees and lush greenery, and lost to my jumbled thoughts, I never heard the front door open. With my head tilted toward the sky, embracing the warmth of the sun on my skin, I inhaled a full breath of air into my lungs, sputtering its release when a hand landed on my shoulder. A small shriek tumbled out of my mouth.
“Sorry. I thought you heard me calling you.” Braylen smiled at me as I regained my composure. “Are you gonna come in to see your dad or stand out here all day?” Her grin never wavered, the sparkle in her eyes telling me she wanted to delve into a different topic but restrained.
When I first visited California to see my dad, he’d already been seeing Braylen. I’d talked to her on the phone a few times but didn’t know what to think of her. Then I met her, and instantly fell in love with the woman. She was kind, funny, and didn’t take any crap from my dad. The added bonus was that she was a hairstylist, having helped me to learn how to deal with my red mess of unruly hair. With her techniques, I was able to quickly master how to tame the thick tresses into sleekness. We’d become fast friends and I respected and loved her like a true second mother.
“I’m just preparing myself is all.” My eyes traveled over her, taking her all in. She was dressed in a cream T-shirt dress, looking comfortable yet stylish. Her hair was pulled off her face in a messy bun, her beautiful features even more prominent with the effortless style. She glowed, her belly growing every time I saw her. I’d keep that thought to myself, however, because no woman wanted to hear how big they’re getting, even though it’s for a good reason. “You look good. Pregnancy certainly agrees with you.”
“Thanks. It’s a good day so far. No sickness.” She knocked twice on the wood post of the railing, her brown eyes shimmering. “Now get in here before your dad tries to get off the couch and come get you himself.” Her smile tilted, her worry for her husband cascading over her beautiful face.
“Okay, but if he starts in again
about Brick, I can’t promise how long I’ll stay.” I followed her inside, linking my arm around hers as we strolled further into the house.
“Give him a break, honey. He’s just lookin’ out for his baby girl. You know how he is.”
“I know, but I’m not little anymore. I’m a grown woman.” My exasperation escaped even though I tried to hold it at bay.
“Not to him you’re not. You’ll understand when you have kids of your own.”
“Yeah, not gonna happen. Never. Kids are not in the cards for me.” Braylen leaned back and kissed my cheek before patting my hand.
“Never say never.” She laughed at the face I made, my obvious displeasure with the topic clear as day. “Now, go see him.” She gently shoved me toward the living room before turning and walking down the hall.
Standing outside the room, I heard Stone talking to my dad, their tones dipping every couple of seconds. It didn’t take a genius to know they were discussing club stuff. While I wanted whoever shot him, Brick, Ace, and their new prospect to pay dearly, I wouldn’t ask any questions about it because they wouldn’t tell me. I’d already tried with no success.
The ache in my chest swirled around in anticipation for what I was gonna see as soon as I walked in. The last time I’d been here, Dad could barely lift his head off the pillow. His voice had worked just fine, however, unleashing his opinion about me helping Brick.
After counting to ten twice, I entered the room, my eyes zeroing in on my dad.
Stone saw me first. “I told you she didn’t run off,” he joked, rising from the couch. His stare morphed from jovial to serious in the matter of seconds as he approached, and when he was close, he bent slightly to whisper into my ear, “Take it easy on him if he starts in about the big guy. He looks better than he did yesterday but he’s still not out of the woods entirely. He shouldn’t get upset.”
What I wanted to say was “then he shouldn’t be so damn stubborn,” but I kept my comments to myself because they wouldn’t do anyone any good.
Stone disappeared, leaving me alone with my ol’ man.
“Hi, Dad. How are you feeling?” I strode toward him with a smile on my face and a promise not to rile him up during our visit.
Stone was right. Although he appeared better than the last time I laid eyes on him, he looked pale and somewhat defeated. His dark hair was messed, and he was in dire need of a good shave. And I had no doubt he was in pain, the evidence coming in the form of a grimace and flared nostrils when he shifted his weight on the couch to get into another position. Anger rose inside me once again, watching the strong man I knew struggle with the tiniest of movements. “Shouldn’t you be in bed resting?” I leaned down and kissed his cheek before taking the seat next to him, making sure not to jounce.
“I’ve been lying in that damn bed for days. I argued with Bray to finally let me come down here for a little while. She relented, but I think she’s gonna toss me back in the bedroom soon.” Although he seemed agitated with the situation, he appeared to be in decent spirits, which could possibly mean he wouldn’t bring up Brick.
“Where were you?” Damn.
With a simple glance, he made me feel like a teenager instead of a thirty-two-year-old woman.
“With Stone and Addy.”
“And where was that?” he pressed, knowing full well where we were before we came here.
“Helping your fellow brother out.” Perhaps if I reminded him he should be as concerned about Brick and his recovery as I was, then he’d pull it back a little.
“I want you to stay away from him, Zo. It’s not safe.” He clutched my hand in his. “Until everything goes back to normal, you’re to stay here with us.” When my head moved from side to side, his grip tightened, for as much as he could muster. “Don’t tell me no. I’m tryin’ to keep you safe.”
I yanked my hand back, careful not to jostle him in the process. “How? I’m. Your. Daughter. Whatever is going on, I can’t escape because I’m related to you. What’s the difference if I’m with Brick or not? The danger is still gonna be there no matter what. I can’t believe you’re trying to tell—”
“Hold up.” His voice deepened the same time a crease formed on his forehead. “What the hell do you mean ‘with Brick’?” he asked, using air quotes for the last two words.
“Not with him, with him.” I averted my eyes. “We haven’t really discussed what we are really. Not yet. But I think—”
“The one time I don’t keep on you and this is what happens.” He spoke more to himself than to me, but I heard him loud and clear. “Are you fuckin’ him? Were you before all this happened?”
“Dad!” I yelled, his crass question taking me by surprise.
“Answer me.”
“That’s none of your business. I’m grown. I can have a relationship with whomever I want.”
He grunted several times as he rose from the couch, clutching his side and breathing deep, his black shirt a crumpled mess. So much for not riling him.
The others must’ve heard the brewing argument because they suddenly appeared at the edge of the room, Braylen rushing to my dad’s side.
“Ryder, what are you doing?” Addy’s tone clearly indicated her disapproval of him being up and walking around. “You need to be resting. In bed.” Her voice was stern, but the stubborn man didn’t pay her any attention, instead focusing his icy glare on me.
“You’re not to go back there, Zoe. I mean it. Stay away from him.” He followed up his statement with a snarl and it was everything I could do not to stomp my foot and start shouting at him about how unreasonable he was being. But nothing I said right now would matter. He’d told me what he thought, and in his mind that was the end of it. Besides, further upsetting him could be detrimental to his healing, so with restraint I clamped my lips together.
I didn’t verbally respond.
I kept my face void of any reactional expression.
I met his stare head-on and didn’t blink.
“Come on,” Braylen goaded. “Let’s get you back in bed. You can’t be getting upset like this.” She propped her shoulder underneath his arm, whispering something to him to make him look away from me.
After they started up the stairs, Addy was next to me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I wiped away a fallen tear of frustration. “I’m fine.” I took a steadying breath before speaking again. “Do you have to check on him or can we go?”
“Go where?” Stone asked, walking up behind his wife. “He just told you not to go back there. And I know you don’t think you’re leaving this house against his wishes.”
“Stone.” Addy said his name on a warning. “This isn’t our business. Zoe is a grown woman. She can do what she wants. As long as she’s kept safe, that’s all that matters.”
“If she were Riley, you bet your ass—”
“Well, she’s not.” She turned her head to the side and pinned him with her eyes, her mouth set in a straight line. “Let. It. Go.”
Stone glanced from the strong-willed woman, to me, then back again. “Fine.”
Addy ignored the narrowing of his eyes and focused back on me. “Brick has a security system at his place, right?”
“Yeah. Top of the line, from what he told me.”
“Okay. We’ll take you back there. Just remember that if you go anywhere, you have to have one of the guys with you.”
“I don’t have anywhere to go. My boss gave me some time off when I told her my dad was seriously injured from an accident.”
Braylen walked into the room as we prepared to leave, rubbing her belly in small circles, her smile filled with love for me as she drew me into a hug. She always knew when to console me, even as a kid. And I didn’t know if it was her perfume or the shampoo she used, but she smelled like comfort.
“He’ll come around, honey. He’s just worried about you. We both are.”
She kissed my cheek before releasing me. She and I have had several conversations about my involvement with Brick, a
nd while at first I played off our interactions as nothing more than attraction, she saw right through my façade.
I still didn’t know exactly where I stood with Brick, or if our involvement would last past his recovery at this point, but I refused to worry about a situation which could organically dissolve on its own.
“Love you.” I squeezed my stepmother tightly.
“Love you, too, sweetheart. Call me when you get back there so I know you’re safe.”
I pulled back and dropped my arms to my sides, giving her a simple nod as my response.
Shoving aside all thoughts of my angry father, knowing he was in good hands with Braylen, I looked forward to being with Brick once again, no matter how much Stone scowled at me.
3
“Will you take a seat, brother? You’re making me nervous?”
“I’m not sitting on the bed with you. Nice try.” Kaden laughed but continued to walk back and forth, wearing a hole in my carpet. He looked a little worse for wear, like he hadn’t been sleeping well. Then again, I supposed that was probably true for all the guys. We were waiting for something else to happen, and that kind of anxiety wore on a person.
“What’s up with you? If anyone should be on edge, it’s me.” I gestured up and down my large form. “I’m the one laid up, fightin’ an infection.”
“I know. It’s just… I’m waiting for Riley to call me back.” He chewed on his bottom lip, checking his phone every few seconds, as if willing it to ring would work. His hair looked like he’d been tugging on it and his beard needed a trim. Although, the same could be said of mine. “She’s at work,” he finished, answering a question I never asked.
“Is there anyone at the shop with her?”
This was the latest info I’d heard: someone was placed at the salon while the women were there, Marek told Sully she couldn’t volunteer at the shelter until all this blew over, the doctor Addy worked for was getting ready to move, so she’d be out of a job in the next week, which worked for Stone’s peace of mind because he didn’t have to worry about her not being at home, and someone was posted at Kena’s family restaurant while she and the boys worked. Zander and Luke, Stone’s youngest son and Tripp’s boy, were told to be careful, to be aware of their surroundings at all times. If they thought something was odd, they were to call their dads immediately.
