She only had one regret. She was sorry that she’d had to leave Halvar and Kaarina. She missed both of them deeply and it hurt to think of them. She wondered what Halvar was doing. Did he survive the fight with Taft? If so, did he miss her? She had no way of knowing and she was sorry she’d never had the chance to thank him properly for rescuing her from the slave traders. She wondered if this was what it felt like to be in love. She’d always expected her parents to find her a husband as was the way of their people. But without parents to arrange a match for her, she would either have to marry for love or remain a single woman. Life was hard for single women, especially as they got older. She’d always thought she would have children to support her when she was old. But how do you have children if you have no husband?
Eira spent her days foraging for food and herbs. At the moment, food was plentiful in the forest but she worried about what would happen to her once winter came. Already the nights were getting cold and she guessed that the first snow flurries of winter were not far away.
One day when she visited the stream, she found a parcel of food placed on a rock. Was someone trying to help her? Or trap her? Inside, she found some dried meat, some flour, some grain and some honey. She gratefully took the food home, glad that someone was thinking of her.
CHAPTER 9
H alvar felt miserable every time he remembered what had happened to Eira as a result of the fight with Taft. He had spent two days riding through the forest looking for her. He struggled to sleep as the nightmares came, each one pressing terrible news about Eira into his consciousness. He took to roaming through the silent village at night, hoping that she would turn up and run into his arms. He wanted her by his side. He longed to tell her how he felt about her and how he wanted to make her his wife. He wanted to have children with her. But silence was the only answer to his agony. It made it worse.
One day, Pallavi visited, sticking her head through the door and calling out to him.
“Come in, woman,” Halvar grumbled as he made his way to the door.
"Have you found her yet?" the old woman asked without pleasantries.
Halvar shook his head.
“Do you know where she goes to gather herbs?”
Suddenly it hit him. He would leave food out in the places he knew she went for herbs. He would wait there to see if she took the food. Maybe in time, she would allow him to see her. He believed she was living in the woods not far away. It was too dangerous to go beyond the village boundaries. She’d already had firsthand experience of that.
"Pallavi, you're a godsend!" he said as he kissed the old woman on both cheeks.
He made up a bundle of food and left it on a rock beside the stream where she would see it. Then he left, returning the following day. The food had gone! Of course, he couldn’t be sure that it was Eira that had taken it but it gave him hope. He left another bundle of food in the same place.
It was still there the following day. Disappointed, he began to walk along the path beside the stream. He moved quietly, careful not to frighten the wildlife away. As he reached a bend in the path, he looked up and caught a glimpse of something moving through the trees ahead of him. It looked like Eira’s green dress!
He hurried up the path as fast as he dared. But by the time he arrived at the place he’d seen her, she was nowhere to be found. It was as if she had some kind of vanishing power. Cursing his ill luck, he turned around and went home but the day wasn’t entirely wasted. He was certain that she was still alive and living close by and that lifted his spirits. It would be only a matter of time until he found her.
As soon as Halvar had gone, Eira cautiously emerged from the tree trunk she’d been hiding behind. She’d been so sure that no one would find her here. She had even made sure of it by covering her tracks. How had he found her so quickly? She was glad to see that he had survived the fight with Taft. She had been so worried about him. One night she had even crept to the edge of the village, hoping to see him, but a dog had barked and she’d fled back into the forest.
Back in the little hut, Eira looked around her. It was comfortable enough for makeshift living. She’d cleaned away the dust that had gathered since the old woman had died. She’d washed the bedding and the cooking utensils down at the stream. She was happy enough living here. If only she didn’t miss Halvar quite so much. She sighed as darkness fell and she was alone again. Nighttime was the hardest time to be alone, she thought. And dreaming of Halvar wasn’t the same as seeing him.
Halvar couldn't sleep that night. He had seen her! He was certain it was her, even at a distance through the trees. He made up his mind to search for her again tomorrow after he’d finished the work he had to do on the farm. He would be cunning this time. Eira was obviously good at hiding and covering her tracks but he could be even better. So what if it became a game of cat and mouse? He was patient and the day would come when he would find her.
The following morning, Halvar again collected a parcel of food and set out on foot for the forest. When Halvar reached the place where he’d seen her the day before, he stopped and examined the ground closely. His sharp eyes picked up a faint trail leading deeper into the forest. It wasn’t long before he reached a tumbledown little hut. He had vague memories of Heiđr, the Wise Woman, using this as her summer hut up until her death two years ago. But as a man, Heiđr’s business had not concerned him and he had never been to the hut. Was this where Eira had been living? He quickened his pace, hoping to catch her before she saw him and fled.
There was a fire burning in the fire pit outside the hut. An old kettle hung over the fire, boiling some water. It must mean that she was there!
But when he opened the door to the hut, it was empty. There was a half-eaten meal on the table and the bed was neatly made up with old blankets. Bundles of drying herbs hung along the walls. He looked at the roof. It didn’t look too watertight and he wondered if the hut got wet when it rained. He decided that he would wait for her to return.
Eira had been lucky enough to escape before Halvar got to the hut. She had sensed him coming, the excitement in his heart getting to her before he did. She’d left her meal and fled into the forest, hiding inside a nearby tree stump. From the safety of her hiding place, she watched as he walked in and out of the hut, determined to wait for her to return. Her heart skipped a beat when he seemed to look straight at her hiding place, his handsome face a mixture of worry and determination. But he would try to make her go back to the village with him if she allowed him to see her, and there was no way she was going to do that.
"Wait all you want,” she whispered. "I am not coming back to you."
Halvar tended to the fire outside the hut and replaced the boiling water. Eira sensed how badly he was feeling; she felt even worse. She longed to come out of her hiding place and run into his arms but she didn’t dare. She wanted to hear his voice and feel his warm, solid body against hers. But she didn’t dare reveal herself. It would only cause more trouble. Why didn’t he just get the message and leave? Then she could come out of hiding and return to her safe but lonely existence.
Halvar knew by noon that she wasn't coming back to the hut. It was obvious she had seen him approach and had run off into the forest. She was probably half a mile away by now, determined to get as far from him as possible. Finally, as evening approached, he got up and left. He felt tears gathering as he thought of her out here in the forest, completely alone because she thought no one loved her or wanted her to live among them. But someday, he would find her. He wouldn’t give up, especially as winter approached. His concern grew as he thought about her spending the snowy months of winter in that tumbledown hut. Surely, she would freeze or starve to death if he couldn’t find her in time.
After Halvar had gone, Eira waited for some time before she came out of hiding. She had seen him leave the food on the table. His kind gesture emphasized the loneliness in her heart and she held the bundle close to her heart, crying her eyes out as she clung to the evidence of his care for her.<
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At the same time, she no longer felt safe in the hut. Another human being knew that she was there and even though it was someone she trusted, she still felt that her sanctuary was under threat. Should she leave? Where else could she go? She decided that for now, she would stay. She would just have to take her chances that someone might find her.
As much as Halvar wanted to spend his days searching the woods until he found Eira, he had other pressing matters to attend to. The short summer season was drawing to a close and there was plenty of work on the farm to prepare for the winter. People who didn’t work didn’t eat, as his father had been fond of telling him. If he wanted enough food to last the winter, he couldn’t afford to be chasing an invisible woman all over the forest, no matter how much he loved her and wanted her by his side. It weighed heavily upon his heart and he became withdrawn and irritable.
Not long after the fight with Taft, Kaarina came to him in tears.
“Father is taking me away,” she sobbed. “He says we are going to live at Kallekot Dalr. I don’t want to go and leave everything that’s familiar. Besides, Kallekot Dalr has a bad reputation. Our lives might be in danger there.”
Halvar put his arm around Kaarina and squeezed her. She was like a little sister to him. “You could always stay here,” he said.
She shook her head. “Father will not allow it. He still has hopes of marrying me off to a clan leader’s son. He is very angry since you won the fight between the two of you and that is the real reason we are leaving. He has lost face in the village and he cannot live with that. He still has ambitions to be a clan leader or to be connected with a powerful family and I am part of his plan.”
“Well, it is your decision,” Halvar told her. “I cannot choose for you. But if you should wish to return, there will always be a place for you here. Are your brothers going too?”
“Yes. They were reluctant but Father has persuaded them to bring their families and join him in starting new farms where there is more land. Their farms here are smaller and they need to grow more during the summer months as their families get larger. There are babies born every year and everyone needs to eat.”
“Why did your brothers not mention their need for more land? You know how it is when someone needs a larger plot. We all gather together to help them establish what they need, even if it means clearing some forest.”
“I know not,” Kaarina said. “Perhaps it will be better this way. Perhaps Father will be happy when he is no longer constrained by the decisions of the village council.”
“He has probably forgotten how to be happy. When someone is angry for a long time, they often forget how to be anything else.”
Kaarina shuddered. “I hope not. I am afraid of his anger. I wish he would just find me a husband so I can live my own life.”
“A husband might not be any better,” Halvar warned. “You have seen how some of the men treat their wives. You had better pray that your father finds you a man who will be good to you.”
Kaarina sighed and Halvar caught a glimpse of what it would be like to be in her shoes. It was a bleak thought and he felt helpless because there was no way that he could change it for her.
“Have you seen anything of Eira?” she asked.
Halvar told her that he thought he’d seen her in the forest once. He didn’t mention the tumbledown hut. It was better that no one knew where she was living; she would be safer that way.
“Please tell her goodbye for me if you find her,” Kaarina said. “I do miss her so much. She was the best friend I ever had.”
CHAPTER 10
N o matter how busy the season became, Halvar could not forget Eira. He was aware that she was alone out in the forest every moment that he was awake. He became withdrawn and short with the men until one day, Canute had finally had enough.
“What ails you?” he growled after Halvar had yet again barked at the men over a minor mistake. “Is it the girl?”
Halvar gave him a sharp look. “And what is it to you?”
“Your men have had enough of your short temper. There are murmurs of discontent. You need to keep your mind on the jobs we have here and treat the men with some respect.”
Halvar sighed. “You are right. I have been thinking of her. She’s out there in the forest all alone.”
“You need to let go of her,” Canute advised. “If she wishes to return, you will find her.”
“I cannot forget about her. I worry that she will not survive the winter if she does not return.”
“The decision is hers to make. You cannot make it for her.”
“Very well, I will try to keep my mind on the work here. And I will try to be kinder to the men.”
After the conversation with Canute, Halvar threw his energy into preparing for the coming winter. The men worked hard until most of the work had been completed. The hay was stored, the grain was harvested and the animal pens repaired.
But at night, when he couldn’t sleep, Halvar would often slip out of the village, past the longhouses and outbuildings, until he reached the forest path. He usually took a parcel of food and left it on the rock by the stream for Eira to find. He wanted to feel that he was doing something to help her. Each time he returned to the rock, the food had gone; once, there was a bunch of wildflowers left in its place. His heart skipped a beat as he thought of Eira picking them and leaving them there for him to find. He liked to imagine that she was thanking him for the food and letting him know that she was all right.
One day, Halvar decided that he could afford to spare some time to go for a walk in the forest. He decided to go to one of the places that Eira liked to gather herbs. When he reached the spot, he stood looking into the woods with such longing that he imagined her responding, slipping out of the woods and into his arms. He even thought he could see movement through the trees. But when he looked again, it was only a doe and her almost-grown fawn. He fought back tears as the impossibility of his search weighed heavily on his heart. It seemed that there was no way he would ever see her again.
As he was about to leave, he noticed a broken stem on the ground. It looked like the type of herbs that Eira picked. He looked around and saw that some of the other stems had been broken off. That must mean that she still came here! For the first time in weeks, he went home with hope in his heart. That night, as he lay awake, he came up with a plan. If Eira wouldn’t allow him to see her, then he would get cunning. He would play the same game she did and he would play it for as long as it took to win.
The following day, Halvar crept to the herb patch beside the stream. He climbed the bank just above and wriggled beneath the ferns and grasses growing there. Satisfied that he was well hidden, he settled down to wait, his excitement hard to contain as he thought of seeing Eira again.
For hours, he waited. He heard the birds sing to each other while the gentle misty rain soaked the landscape. He listened to the frogs croak and watched the water flowing down the stream. He thought about how everything in nature had a purpose and a plan. Was he the only creature alive that didn’t seem to know what to do? Every day without Eira was harder than the one before and no matter what he did, he couldn’t feel happy and satisfied with his life the way he had before he met her.
As the hours passed and she failed to appear, his excitement faded along with the daylight. As night fell, he had to concede that he’d failed. He’d spent the day hoping she would come and she hadn’t. Beaten, weary, and feeling defeated, he stiffly clambered out of his hiding place and made his way home. But he couldn’t, wouldn’t give up. He would try again.
Eira was beginning to let down her guard as time passed and no one bothered her. She was still cautious and careful but she was beginning to relax in her forest home. After Halvar had come to the hut, she hadn’t seen him again and she assumed that he’d decided to leave her alone. Sometimes she found food on a rock by the stream and she knew he had been there. She appreciated his thoughtfulness and one day, left a fresh bunch of flowers as a thank you.
For three days, Halvar waited in his hiding spot on the stream bank. As the hours dragged by and there was no sign of Eira, his spirits sagged and he contemplated abandoning his pursuit. It seemed impossible that he would ever see her again.
Near the end of the third day, Halvar decided that he would give up. Just as he was about to stand up and leave, he caught a glimpse of something moving through the trees. He sucked in his breath, suddenly wondering if he was prepared for what might happen next. A moment later, Eira appeared from behind the trees, as silent as the fog that floated through the damp forest. She came to the stream bank with her pouch and stooped over to pick the leaves that she wanted. Her back was to him and she seemed oblivious to his presence. He knew it was now or never.
He silently got to his feet, not wanting to frighten her but also wanting her to know he was there.
“Eira,” he said softly.
Terrified, she screamed and dropped the herb pouch then ran towards the forest.
Halvar felt a stab of disappointment that she would run even though he was right in front of her. But he wasn’t going to allow her to escape. With long, swift strides, he quickly caught her and pulled her around to face him.
Eira: Banished (Viking Guardians Book 1) Page 7
