Wanted to share. She loved to share the flowers. They made people happy. And since that night…that night when they’d had to be so quiet, quiet as mice, she couldn’t show anyone anything else. The men had come, the men in black clothes, with guns, with scowls… “And Momma said be so quiet and don’t show anyone…”
Guild Security, Eva realised. The girl was telling her Guild Security had come for them. They’d been in the compound, or one like it, and they’d come to take her away from her family when tests had shown up her psychic abilities.
Eva’s own memories surged to the fore, unwanted, uncontrolled, and she shoved them back with an iron will. Daisy started, staring at her. Had she caught a glimpse of what Eva had experienced? No, please, no. She didn’t want the poor kid to see that nightmare. Or any of her nightmares.
Daisy hugged her hard, a small body pouring love and comfort into her in another vision of torrents of flowers. Tears stung in Eva’s eyes, spilled down her cheeks into Daisy’s hair. God, this was terrible. She struggled to quell her tears again, sealed away the memories, the pain with an expertise born of years of practice.
“They were trying to take her?” she asked Laura, aware of the crack in her voice.
“Yes,” Laura replied bitterly. “To put her in some education unit, locked away to be stifled and trained, and used for the rest of her life. To be turned into—”
Eva lifted her face and looked Daisy’s mother right in the eyes. “—into something like me.”
Laura blanched, falling very still, unwilling or unable to tear her gaze off Eva now.
Heartless and cold, a perfect instrument of the Guild, its creature.
At least Daisy had been spared that. The trauma of escaping had marked her but in time, with help, she would recover.
“Rafael is helping you, is that right?” she asked.
Daisy pouted again and shrugged. “When he can. There’s only one of him. It was Harmon first. I miss Harmon.”
Harmon. Her father’s name. Eva disentangled herself from the child and tried to smile. “We should stop this, Daisy. You’re scaring your mother.”
“But you’re like me. Like Rafael and Harmon.”
Was she? How could she possibly be? She was Guild. Always had been. She swallowed so hard that it hurt. “You should try to talk to your mother. Like this, at least. With your voice if you can. She’d be so happy.”
“Can you show me your special thing, Eva? The thing that keeps you safe?”
Eva nodded and let the vision of the butterflies flow out around the little girl. Daisy’s eyes widened and she laughed with delight, laughed out loud.
Laura gave a cry of alarm and joy combined and swept the child into her arms. “Did you hear her? Aidan? Did you hear?”
It was a start. A small push in the right direction and Eva couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride. When she’d had her first posting it had been with the kids in education. She’d found nothing so fulfilling since then, not until now.
As Laura swept her children out of the dining room, Eva sank into the chair once more and found Aidan sitting at her side, studying her. “Did you just perform a minor miracle there?”
“I did?”
“Rafe couldn’t get her to speak. Even Harmon couldn’t get her to make so much as a peep. You just waltz in and make her laugh. I’d call that a miracle.” He handed her a fork and pushed a plate of food towards her. “Eat. Then I’ll show you to your room.”
Something more than desire was flowing off him now. She recognised it, though she’d never seen it make someone glow before. She’d never seen it directed at her before and that made her shift in her seat, uncomfortable with the answering glow she found inside. It was pride.
The moment she breathed in the aromas, she was lost. Her hands trembled and her resolutions to reject their food and drink fell away. A crisp green salad and an omelette stuffed with cheese, asparagus and mushrooms, accompanied by coffee richer than anything she had ever tasted from an office machine, enriched with milk…
She had eaten everything before she realised it was gone, savouring each mouthful, the flavours erupting against her taste buds.
They climbed the stairs in silence and at the top Aidan opened a door. The room she entered was comfortably appointed and well proportioned. And there the similarities to the austere apartment she called home ended. The bed was wider, softer and covered with a silken quilt, hand-stitched and embroidered. On the far side of the room another door led to a bathroom. Aidan crossed to the wardrobe and opened the door to show her the clothes inside. She barely looked. It all overwhelmed her.
“How long have you been planning this? To find me. To kidnap me.” Her voice shook, but she pushed on. “Aidan, no matter what you say, I can’t just pretend this never happened. You took me. Both of you.”
“And do you know what he went through to reach you? Rafael let them capture him. They tortured him, drugged him. He risked everything—and all of us here—to reach you. Burgess and I were his only support. But he—”
“Why would he do that? I don’t understand.” The anguish in her voice shamed her. Why would anyone go through all that for her, of all people?
Aidan paused and then reached out his hands. Eva hesitated, but this time he did not retreat. Unable to do anything else, she took his hands. His fingertips brushed against the leather of her gloves, pressed it to her skin as his hands closed around hers. His touch was so gentle, despite the implied strength.
“Eva,” he whispered, his voice a little hoarse. “Please trust me. I want to help. To set you free.” He pulled her to him.
Her eyes flicked from his eyes to his mouth and back. He leaned in closer and bowed his head. His lips parted, his tongue moistening them for just a moment. She saw a flash of his white teeth and her heart sped up again. He was so cautious now. Yet she’d seen him move like a soldier, firing on the men in the cell in order to save Rafael—and herself, she now realised. He’d done it for her. They both had, though she could not work out the reason why.
Careful to avoid touching her skin, Aidan released her hands and slid his fingers up the surface of her suit to her shoulders. Such strength in those hands, such tenderness.
Eva’s head tilted back as their bodies came together. He’d dreamed this, he said, and she had seen his fantasies or whatever they were. His eyes darted back and forth, studying her face, waiting to see if she would pull away again. But she couldn’t. It was inevitable, destined perhaps. She could no more break free of him now than she could fly.
When he bent lower, his lips brushing against hers, she wondered if perhaps she could fly after all.
Aidan’s tongue teased her lips, seeking a response from her, one she could not fail to give. She opened her mouth to him with a moan she hadn’t been aware she was suppressing. His answering groan made her whole body tighten with lust. There were no images this time. They were both too consumed with the sensations of their kiss.
His breath played on her cheek and he pressed closer, body to body, his tongue filling her, teasing her own to respond to him. Her hands grabbed his shoulders, her fingers digging into the Security uniform’s coarse material while their mouths moved softly together in bliss. Far too many clothes separated them, far too many secrets. His hand cradled the back of her neck and again she thought of the first image she had inadvertently caught from him.
Her body arching to take him inside her, the sweat glistening between them. His mouth descending, plundering hers, filling her. The taste of coffee and brandy.
Aidan broke the kiss, still holding her against him. She opened her bewildered eyes to find him looking at her more calmly now, his passion smouldering behind those bright blue eyes.
“Rest. Bathe and change into something comfortable. I’ll be back later, I promise.”
“But I…” Her words trailed off. What could she say? I want you to stay? I want you to be with me? Or simply, I want you. Why on earth would she think such things? Was she insane?
She swallowed hard and deliberately folded her hands in front of her, cutting him off, forming the only barricade she could. She made her voice cold. “I can’t tell you anything, you know. I have no Guild secrets or information that would be of use to you. No matter what you do to me, I can’t tell you anything.”
His eyebrows rose. “Do you think we’ll torture you? That’s not our way, Eva. We aren’t Guild here.”
She flinched. Well, that was what they’d done to Rafael, wasn’t it? Humiliated, she retreated still further to hide behind the shell of her training. Much as she might be coming to like some of them, like Aidan and Daisy, she couldn’t trust them. How could she when Aidan and Rafael had sought her out and snatched her from a Security interrogation room inside Guild headquarters itself? Shaking inside, she locked her will around her body and her mind. “And everyone who is Guild-raised would not hesitate to torture someone, is that what you think?”
Aidan’s face froze and it took a moment to realise the shadows she saw there were suppressed rage. “You know what they did to him. You saw it in his mind. You were there to pick through his thoughts for them.”
“And you saved him. Good for you. You’re quite the hero.”
Eyes narrowed, Aidan took another step towards her, no longer inviting. He towered over her, threatening. His gilded exterior darkened with flames of anger. “You know nothing about him or what I owe him. Or the lengths I would go to for him.”
He turned away, growling in frustration, and headed for the door. As he left, he paused and looked back. “Rest, bathe and eat. You’ll need your strength later.” With that he slammed the door behind him. The lock turned with an ominous click.
Eva ran to the window, tugged at it, but it was sealed. She tried the one in the bathroom too, even though it was so small she’d never be able to wriggle out. It took some time before she approached the door, but the lock held it closed. There was no way out. She sank onto the bed, her body trembling, tears stinging her eyes. All she could do was wait.
Chapter Four
Pacing the room brought no relief. Eva stared out the window, but all she could see was the wall of some kind of storage unit. She could hear the children though. They were playing games, just out of sight. Such a strange and wondrous noise, something she had not heard since her own childhood. Even then such nonsense was frowned upon in the junior dorms, quickly silenced. The world she inhabited in the Guild suddenly seemed to lack a great deal, just through the absence of that sound.
Only when her throat tightened to the point of pain did she realize that her cheeks were wet with tears. She retreated to the bathroom and washed her face in freezing cold water, drying it with a fluffy towel. Even the material they used for everyday things like this seemed softer and more luxurious. They put such care into everything they did. More than many Guild members.
Eva folded the towel carefully and hung it back on the rail, tugging it into the perfect position. Like the food earlier, like her room, the children’s pictures and the way Aidan treated her.
Such deliberate care, right down to the last detail. She wasn’t sure what that said about them, not yet. And she couldn’t say what her response to it said about her.
Footsteps coming up the stairs alerted her. With practiced determination she straightened her suit and pulled her hair back from her face, retying it tighter than ever. It strained the skin of her forehead and temples and the low throb of a headache started almost immediately.
When Rafael and Aidan entered the room, she met them as a Guild psychic—calm, collected, silent. She kept her face a mask, the shields around her mind as strong as iron, so that even a psychic as powerful as Rafael could not reach her.
“You didn’t like the clothes?” Aidan’s eyes trailed over her suit.
She kept her attention on Rafael, ready for even a trace that he might be trying to reach out to her mind with his own. But he didn’t. Instead, he just kept his features as coolly studied as hers. The silence made Aidan’s anger smoulder. She could feel it now, a slow-burning fire, the inner heat much higher than if he expressed it. White hot now.
What did he want? What did he expect? That she would just happily do as she was told and settle into a new life here? That she would fall into whatever fantasy he had planned?
“He has some fantasies you might enjoy, sweetheart.” Rafael’s mouth quirked into that same mocking smile that tormented her so. “Care to try?”
His voice pressed to her consciousness, but she kept him out. All she had now were her defences. Everything else was lost. If they wanted her they would have to force her. The thought made her quake inside, not entirely with fear. It excited her, even though it should not. For she knew she was safe with them, that she could trust them. They would never hurt her. Not purposefully.
Oh, but they had the potential to do her more damage than anyone she had every encountered.
“Are you going to say anything at all?” Rafael asked.
“I’m a Guild psychic. You must release me now and let me go back to the Guild compound.”
Rafael shook his head. “That’s not going to happen, Eva.” His mind stroked against hers but she hardened her shields. “You belong here. You need to let go.”
“No. I don’t. I’ve worked all my life to control my abilities. It isn’t safe to just let go.”
“That’s what they say. We say differently.”
Rafael gave a curt nod, and Aidan seized her hands. He tore off the gloves and threw them away.
“Get off me!” she yelled, struggling against him. “Don’t touch me!”
He released her, but he didn’t back away. Instead his blue eyes gazed unwavering into hers. “Pleasure isn’t a danger. And all being a hedonist means is that you let yourself feel that pleasure. In everything. But most of all, in each other, in physical contact, in love. They’ve made you think it’s wrong, Eva, locked you away all your life. Not just behind their walls and under their polluted skies. Inside yourself. Too afraid to feel.”
“We can show you the power of pleasure,” Rafael murmured. “And once you’ve felt that, you’ll never go back. Never. No one can.”
Tears stung her eyes and she blinked them back furiously. “I didn’t ask for this.”
“No one does. It’s…” Aidan glanced at Rafael. “Sometimes it’s easier not to feel at all. But it’s an empty existence, Eva. Empty and lonely.” He opened his hands before her, palms out. “You don’t really want that.”
She shied away from him, unable to face what she saw in his eyes. Instead, Rafael stood there. His face carried something else, something that looked suspiciously like grief.
“Yes,” he said in response to her unasked, unthought question. “You saw my wife, you saw her die.”
She recalled the agony entangled around those images. “You’d choose such pain?”
“Over nothingness? Yes. Every time. For the sake of everything else that is the counterpoint.”
“I…I’m not sure I could stand such…feelings. I might…I might hurt you.” It had happened before. When she was young and inexperienced. And it had been disastrous. It had taken years of reconditioning to recover, to be of service to the Guild again.
“Your mind is powerful,” Rafael conceded. “And if we open your mind to pleasure as we want, that’s a risk. But one I’m willing to take. I’ll help you, shield you, show you how to ground it.” He smiled, the gentlest expression she’d ever seen on his face.
“You don’t have to do anything.” Aidan’s hands touched her shoulders, her arms. “Just let us lead you. Let us show you.”
She trembled, holding herself as still as she could, and had to swallow hard when Aidan began to unbutton her jacket. He wasn’
t rough, not really, but he didn’t linger over the task. He wanted her naked.
And soon she was.
When he released her, gathering up the clothes and tossing them into a corner, Eva wound her arms around her body in a vain effort to shield herself from Rafael’s burning gaze. Mortification stabbed at her, quickly followed by shame. She’d never been so exposed, so helpless.
Rafael took a few steps and his hands encircled her wrists, pulling her arms away from her body. Not roughly, nor quickly. He moved with quiet determination, revealing her body to his eyes as carefully as he might uncover a treasure of great beauty, hidden away a lifetime ago. And behind her, she knew Aidan was watching as well. Her body quivered, deep inside, where no one had ever touched her before.
Rafael lifted her arms still further, until they stretched up on either side of her head, reaching towards the heavens. She glanced up to see a beam running across the room, just as Aidan threw some sort of silken cord over it. Rafael held both her wrists with one hand now, just as he had in her vision. He tied them together and released her so she took her own weight again, her arms straining slightly with the effort of the unfamiliar position.
“There now,” Rafael said. “You don’t have to be scared. But this will help you to give in to the pleasure, stop you from fighting it. You don’t have to participate. Just let it happen to you and you’ll see we’re telling the truth.”
“I don’t want this,” she whispered. “Please. You have to stop.”
Aidan glanced sharply at Rafael and his doubts flooded the forefront of her mind. Quickly, Rafael whisked them away and his hand closed on her arm. His touch was warm, gentle, and strangely soothing. But he didn’t press the contact, didn’t force himself into her mind.
Her fear sparked higher and then bled away to be replaced by something else.
With a Touch: The Guild Chronicles, Book 1 Page 4
