“Yes.”
“Perhaps he did not know about her,” he said to the others.
I should have corrected him, but I sat silently, digesting how rebellious my father was.
“Maybe that’s why there’s a bit of white in your badge,” Marna said. “Because you’ve not had to work.”
“But there was no white in any of ours before we worked,” Ginger pointed out.
“Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I can’t see Legionnaires,” I said.
Or maybe it’s because my mother was an angel of light....
“You can’t see ’em?” Marna asked. “Lucky. Some of ’em are downright fugly. It took me a while to see them, too. Until...”
A silence trailed, and the four Neph shared an unpleasant memory with one another through their gazes. Marna shifted and looked down, sullen. Ginger gave her a quick and gentle pat on the shoulder. I wondered what had happened, but I dared not ask.
“Anyway. It still doesn’t make sense,” Ginger said. “Even if you didn’t know before, you know now. You’ve met your father. So why aren’t you working?”
This was dangerous ground. I didn’t know if I could fully trust them, friends of Kaidan or not.
“Och, let’s leave her alone,” Marna said.
I kept my eyes averted and the room stayed quiet.
“You’ll get yourself killed if the Dukes find out, you know,” Ginger stated with too much enthusiasm for my liking.
“Let her be,” Kopano told her. “She does not know us. She will tell us when she is ready.”
Ginger sat back. I gave Kopano a look that I hoped reflected my thankfulness.
“Where are you guys staying tonight?” I asked.
“We were going to stay at Kaidan’s if Pharzuph was gone, but we’ll just get a hotel,” said Blake.
“I know there’s not a ton of room here, but—”
“Ooh! We can have a slumber party with Anna, Gin!” Marna cut me off.
“Oooh, yes, goody,” Ginger said in a deadpan tone. “The two of you can tell stories while I gag and puke.”
I looked at Marna. “You can stay here if you—”
“No.” Ginger cut me off. “Marna and I stay together.”
Marna gave me a consoling smile. I liked her. And while Ginger’s personality left much to be desired, I had to admit her loyalty to Marna was admirable. That was the only good thing I could say about her.
“How long will it take to get to this club from here?” Blake asked me.
“Maybe forty-five minutes to an hour.”
“All right. We’ll be back here to pick you up at six. Make sure you’re ready.”
“Um...” I felt edgy about tonight—the thought of seeing Kaidan again, the thought of hanging out with these unpredictable Neph, the thought of Jay meeting them, and the awkwardness of my two worlds colliding. “Tonight I’m going to ride down with my best friend, Jay, and you guys can follow us.”
“Who’s Jay?” Ginger narrowed her eyes with suspicion.
“He’s just a human boy. He doesn’t know anything about us. He wrote some songs, and Kaidan’s band is playing one of them tonight.”
“Best friends with a human,” Blake stated.
“It keeps getting better and better,” Ginger mumbled, standing up and holding out her cup of tea, not one sip gone. I stood and took it from her.
They walked out, Kopano giving a polite nod and Marna giving a wave with her fingers, before I closed the door behind them.
In four hours I would see Kaidan again.
Ginger’s untouched tea sloshed over in my shaking hand.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
ENVY
I forewarned Jay on the phone about Kaidan’s four friends, but he was still struck dumb at the sight of them. I pinched his arm in the club when I caught him staring at the twins with his tongue practically hanging out. He wasn’t alone. Every guy in the club was staring at them, in their tiny dresses and heeled sandals. Jay wore his Braves baseball cap backward that night.
Double Doors was a two-story club. The bar was on the second floor and it looked down over the stage and crowd. Kopano, Jay, and I wore wristbands showing we were underage—not that it would stop the bartenders from turning a blind eye if someone slipped us a drink. The other three had fake IDs and now drinks in hand. We opted to stay on the top floor watching from the railings, rather than fight the crazy mob stagefront. Jay stood on one side of me and the Neph were on the other.
I did not look down at the drums when the band was announced. I was afraid that the others were waiting to see how I’d look at him. And I was more afraid of how Kaidan might react. Jay’s song was first on the playlist. I took his hand and squeezed it when the song began.
I knew the tune well. I’d heard it played on Jay’s keyboard so many times, in differing variations as he perfected it. But to hear it in its full glory with all of the instruments and a talented singer was a different experience. It wasn’t just stage-worthy; it was album-worthy. I had yet to look straight at Kaidan, choosing to focus on the music, looking at Michael or the bouncing crowd, or peeking at Jay’s exalted face.
At the end we broke into wild cheers, and I raised my arms to Jay for one of his giant bear hugs.
“I’m glad I came,” I shouted to him. “That was too amazing! You rock.”
Marna sidled up next to us and looked at Jay. “You wrote that? It was amazing.”
Jay released me and faced Marna.
“Thanks,” he said, and she twirled her hair. Their interaction made me uneasy. Marna seemed nice, but I didn’t want anyone messing with Jay.
“Don’t go making Jay fall in love with you, now.” I said it to Marna in a teasing tone, catching her eye and holding it. “I don’t want him left behind with a broken heart when you go back to London.”
Jay laughed, and Marna noted my warning, giving me a small nod.
I turned back to the railing and, without meaning to, looked right down at Kaidan.
Kaidan wore the red T-shirt. The one I had borrowed from him once upon a time. I let myself imagine that he’d thought of me when he picked it out tonight. Stupid. I also wore a red shirt, but mine was baby-doll style, with sleeves that cinched together at the shoulders. It had been a spontaneous purchase on my back-to-school shopping day.
I hated myself for staring. I wanted him to notice me, but I feared what I would see in his eyes. So when his head tilted up and his eyes blasted into mine, I held my breath. Neither of us moved or reacted.
A thin arm came around my shoulder and pulled me from the rail. I ripped my eyes from Kaidan.
“Your little human is a cupcake,” Marna whispered.
“Does he have a girlfriend?” Ginger asked, stepping over to us.
“No,” I said.
“Then don’t bother,” Ginger said. “Find someone useful to work on.”
“Nobody’s working on Jay,” I stated.
“I wasn’t planning on it, honest,” Marna promised me before turning on her sister. “Can’t I take one flippin’ night off? We’re on holiday!”
Ginger’s iron resolve seemed to waver as she looked at her sister’s bottom lip puckered out.
“Oh, fine. Whatever. I swear, one day, Marna...”
Ginger leaned back against the rail with her elbows up and viewed the band over her shoulder. I watched Kaidan acknowledge her with a curt nod, and she signaled back with an unladylike hand gesture. He lifted a corner of his mouth in amusement. There had to be a story between those two. That kind of animosity didn’t stem from nothing.
“Uh-oh,” Marna whispered. “Cupcake might not be in such a good mood tonight after all....”
Ginger and I turned to see Jay standing alone at the rail, while his guardian angel went ballistic around him. No! He took off his baseball hat and turned it around, pulling the bill low on his forehead. Ginger grabbed my arm when I moved toward him.
“You can’t interfere!” she hissed. I pulled my arm away and
watched until his angel settled.
“Is it gone?” I whispered to the girls.
“Yes, he’s below us with the crowd now,” Marna said.
I walked over to Jay, hoping the whisperer would not come back and take notice. Ginger cursed behind me.
His eyes were dark, partially hidden under the hat. He didn’t register my hand when I put it on his forearm. Jay stared down at the band, and a noxious bright green seeped into his emotions. I looked over at Blake, who was watching me. All four of them were watching me. I took it as a sign that the whisperer was gone, and I focused on Jay.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked him.
He shook his head. His angel wrapped its cloudy wings around him. Maybe between his angel and me, we could pull him out of this.
“It just sucks that someone else has to perform my song.” Bitterness laced each word. “I want to be able to do it myself. I’ll never be in a band. I’ll always be the short, fat guy behind the scenes.”
“Jay!” I gasped. “First of all, you are not fat. You are healthy and handsome and strong. Second of all, any one of those guys down there would give anything to be able to create music from nothing the way you do. That song was incredible, and it’s yours. But you can’t have it all. If you could sing, but you had no creative imagination, you wouldn’t be Jay. You would be shallow lead-singer Michael, with no depth at all. We can’t all be performers. If there were no behind-the-scenes, there would be no music industry. How bad would that suck?”
“I hear you,” he said, and the vile green slowly began to peel away in thin strips. “It’d just be nice to be the guy up front for once.”
I softened my tone. “Do you think that’s what every girl wants? Because it’s not. Just remember it’s the good guys who win in the end, Jay,” I said. “Someday those girls will be fighting over which one gets to marry you.”
“Sure, after they’ve spent years chasing after the a-holes who treat them like crap. Then we get to pick up the pieces. That ain’t fair.”
“No, it’s not fair. You’re right.” I wrapped my arms around his hulky chest and squeezed him tight.
“Thanks, Anna. Sorry I’m bein’ a downer.” He pulled away and readjusted his hat, lifting it a little higher on his brow now. “How are you, anyway? Is it weird to be here?” He motioned in Kaidan’s direction and I quickly shook my head, not wanting the others to catch his meaning.
“I’m glad I came. Everything’s fine.”
“We can go whenever you want. Just say the word. They’ve got two more songs. I’m not going backstage tonight.” I noticed him glancing in Marna’s direction.
“What’s up with you and Kaylah these days?” I asked.
“Nah, nothin’. It’s out of sight out of mind for her. She’s fun to hang with, but it’s not going anywhere.”
“Go talk to Marna then,” I said, nodding my head to the side where the twins stood. “I’ll be fine by myself, promise.”
He pressed his lips together, as if unsure, but I squeezed his hand and walked away. I didn’t think Marna would try to hurt Jay, and if so, she and I would have serious issues.
I tried to move my eyes around and not focus solely on the drummer, but it was hard. He kept glancing up. I wondered whether he was annoyed by me, wishing I would stop watching him and go away. It hurt to imagine he might feel that way.
A warm arm grazed mine and I glanced over to find Kopano at my side.
“Hey,” I said to him.
“Do you like this music?” he asked.
“Yes. Do you?”
“I have not decided.” That made me giggle.
“Thanks for earlier,” I whispered. He looked at his hands on the metal rail and gave a slight nod.
“When you are ready,” he said, lifting his eyes to mine, “I would very much like to know your story.”
I was surprised by the boldness of his statement. Once again, I found his gaze almost too personal. I felt overly aware of him there next to me, the warmth of his skin, the quiet passion in his eyes. I focused on my own hands on the rail, and then down at Kaidan, who was pausing between the songs. My eyes widened.
Kaidan stared right at me with aggression on his face. That was the reaction I’d been afraid of. My heart thumped as I severed our eye contact, tightening my hold on the railing.
Kopano looked from me to the stage.
Jay bounded up at that moment, holding a flyer. “There’s an after party,” he said. “You guys wanna go?”
“No, I should head home soon,” I answered.
“Why?” Jay asked.
“I have to work tomorrow.”
“They don’t even open until eleven!”
Marna walked up and plucked the flyer from Jay’s hand with her slender fingers.
“She’ll be there,” Marna said. “We’ll all be there.”
The smart, self-preserving part of me wanted to refuse, but the stupid part of me could only listen to the beat of the song starting behind me and know the person responsible for making those beats would be at the party—might even talk to me.
“I call shotgun in Jay’s car,” Marna said.
Jay looked at her in disbelief. “Sweet,” he said. Then he lifted his hat and flipped it backward.
As promised, Ginger would not be separated from Marna, so she insisted on riding in Jay’s car, too. The thought of Ginger in the tiny backseat of his car amid old fast-food bags and torn seats was hysterical to me.
“I guess I’ll ride with you, if that’s all right,” I said to Kopano. He nodded.
We sat there in the car while the others drove off. He had a flyer of his own with directions, so I figured he was giving them a mile head start so we could talk. Something about his demeanor made me feel shy. I wouldn’t look at him. I wondered for the first time how it might feel to be alone with Kopano if Kaidan weren’t in the picture. He was virtually the opposite of Kaidan, but I found myself drawn to him. Maybe when it came to guys, my “type” wasn’t a certain look; it was a certain intensity.
After a few minutes, he started driving. He waited until we were a mile from the club before speaking to me.
“I like you.”
Okay, that was unexpected. I sat still, unsure how to respond.
“What I meant is,” he explained, “I like you as a person. I have never witnessed one of our kind befriend a human in such a way. Even I have not allowed myself to care for them the way I should, on a personal level.”
We were quiet again, and I caught myself chewing my lip, then stopped.
“Kaidan told me your story,” I said. “He told me you’re lucky to be alive.”
“That is true. If any of the other four had defied their fathers, they would have been killed. Dukes are not meant to care for their children. My father is an exception.”
“And mine,” I whispered. My pulse quickened with nervousness at my revelation. Kopano glanced my way before answering.
“I wondered if it was so. He always knew you were alive. Am I right? He let you be?”
“Yes. But please don’t say anything.”
“I will keep your secrets. I do not fear death.”
“You don’t fear... hell?”
“No.” He spoke with calm certainty. “It will not be for eternity. Even Neph will have their day of judgment.”
I was floored by his certainty. He was prepared to face whatever life and death delivered him.
“Have you said any of this to the others?” I asked him.
“In years past. But their situations are different.”
“Do you think any of them believe in what they do?”
“I could not bear their presence if they did. Blake and Marna do as they are told, but minimally and with no enthusiasm. Kaidan and Ginger have been the best workers, but over time I have observed much. They have strong wills to live, and they will do what is necessary to stay alive. But they are not happy. Being controlled and being unloved is not a natural way of life.”
&nbs
p; “No, it’s not. What about other Nephilim?”
“Not all Nephilim despise their lives. There are many who seem to embrace their work and believe in the cause. I suppose there is no way of truly knowing one’s heart until one is put to the test.”
I pondered those words as we rode in comfortable silence the rest of the way to the party.
I sat on a couch between Jay and Kopano in some stranger’s old house, feeling jittery. Marna was on Jay’s other side, and the two of them talked. Ginger and Blake examined pictures on the wall, many of which were autographed by musicians.
An excited throng of girls waited in the front room for the band to arrive. I should have known this would be a groupie party. I swore that the second I saw Kaidan’s hands on another girl, I was out of there, even if it meant walking home. I knew he had to work, but I did not have to be a witness.
All of the guys were throwing back beers and talking animatedly about acoustics and instrumentals and the sound system that ran through the house. Local band music blared from the walls of every room.
I crossed my legs, then uncrossed them and crossed them on the other side. Kopano glanced down at my fidgeting, but did not comment.
“Oh, my gawd, they’re here!” squealed one of the girls from the other room, and my abs got tight.
I had a fleeting urge to snatch the half-full beer from Marna’s hand and chug it down. The door opened and people cheered. I rubbed my damp palms on the thighs of the jean skirt Jay’s sister had given me for my birthday.
Jay turned to me.
“You okay?”
I nodded and forced a smile. I wasn’t fooling him, of course, but he gave me that goofy half grin, and I knew he would take me home in a heartbeat if I asked him to, even if it meant cutting off his conversation with Marna.
As the band members came into the room, one by one, the entire party converged. People huddled together, vying for attention and time to talk with them. I tried not to look at the girls surrounding Kaidan, asking him to sign their cleavage and thighs with permanent markers.
“Come,” Kopano said to me, standing. I followed without question. We went into the kitchen, finding an unoccupied corner, and I checked out the beverage selection.
Sweet Evil Page 22
