She frowned. “It should be, but we both know you’ll be out in the field planting corn as soon as church lets out.”
Daniel didn’t answer. At the kitchen door, he paused to touch Emily’s cheek. “’Bye ’bye, sugarplum.”
The baby turned at the sound of his voice and babbled happily.
“She sure loves you,” Tess said. Emily would never know her father’s love. Having her uncle’s affection didn’t make up for the loss, but it helped.
“Thank you for bringing me the flour, Daniel.”
“I don’t need your thanks. I’ll pick you up for church at the usual time.”
She watched him go, thinking for the thousandth time how lucky she and Emily were to have Daniel. Gratitude filled some of the empty crevasses in her heart. Without him, she would never have been able to manage the farm after Rory’s death. They would have had to move to town to live with her parents. Much as she loved her folks, she was far happier in her own home, even with Aunt Fay living with them. She smiled ruefully, remembering her aunt’s appalled expression when she stated her intention of living alone on the farm with Emily. According to Aunt Fay, she would never live down the scandal. Though Tess didn’t care much what people thought, having Fay on the farm was a help.
Knowing her aunt was resting, she shut the screen door quietly and walked through the kitchen to the front room and settled into a corner of the settee.
“Don’t grab, Emily.” Tess held back her baby’s eager hands as she unbuttoned the bodice of her dress. “Mama’s going to feed you.”
Once Emily was nursing, she ran her fingers through her daughter’s silky auburn hair and smiled down at her. She was a mixture of Rory and herself, this child who meant the world to her. She had her mother’s green eyes and delicate features and her father’s coloring. Tess sighed, regretting as she did each day that Rory hadn’t lived long enough to see his daughter. Sometimes the pain of it nearly brought her to her knees.
“Oh Rory,” she whispered. “Why couldn’t you let well enough alone on that train? Why did you risk your life for a ring?”
She touched her husband’s wedding ring where it hung from a ribbon between her breasts. Shutting her eyes tightly, she forced back tears. She was through crying. For Emily’s sake as well as her own, she had to let go of the past. Her thoughts flashed to Jack Craven and the recent robbery, and her brows drew together. It would be a lot easier to accept Rory’s death if his killer was behind bars where he belonged.
When Emily finished nursing, Tess lifted her to her shoulder to burp. She’d grown so much over the past few months. Remembering how fragile she’d been at birth, Tess thanked God for her healthy baby.
Those first months had been torture, caring for Emily while the pain of losing Rory was a weight in her chest, crushing her spirit. The first horrible winter without her husband with a baby who cried incessantly, she’d wanted to die. If it hadn’t been for Daniel’s support, she was certain she would have given up. He’d been far more help than Aunt Fay during the worst weeks, walking the floor with Emily in the early morning hours before hurrying off to his chores so Tess could get an hour or two of sleep.
Emily burped. Tess smiled, holding her daughter out in front of her. “Never mind the trouble you gave me in the beginning. You’re perfect now.”
* * * *
Daniel knocked on Tess’s back door, opened it, and stuck his head inside. The empty kitchen smelled faintly of cinnamon. “Tess, Fay, are you ready?” he called.
“Almost.” Tess’s voice carried down the stairs. “I’ll be finished in a minute.”
“Can I bring anything out to the wagon for you?”
“You can come up and take Emily while I get her things together.”
Daniel climbed the stairs and paused in the bedroom doorway. He disliked entering the room Tess had shared with Rory. He felt like an intruder, but his sister-in-law never gave him any indication she felt the same way. Emily, dressed in white lawn, sat in the middle of the bed. She turned her head and smiled when she saw him. Tess stood at the looking glass, stabbing hairpins into her coronet of brown braids. Her brows drew together in a scowl.
“Finally.” She smoothed back the last few wisps of flyaway hair. “I thought I would never get it to stay.”
With her hair up or down, Tess was beautiful. Love for her filled him, eating at his heart. He took a deep breath, burying his emotions so deeply not a hint was revealed. When Tess met his gaze, he knew she saw nothing of what he was feeling.
“Why not leave your braid hanging the way you usually do?” he asked.
“And shock Reverend Thomas to the depths of his soul? I don’t think so.” She hurried about the room, stuffing diapers and a change of clothes for Emily into a bag. “If you’ll get her, I think I have everything else.”
“Is your aunt ready? She wasn’t in the kitchen.”
Tess smiled. “Doc Fredericks escorted Aunt Fay to church this morning. She was all atwitter waiting for him to arrive.” He lifted Emily into his arms and stared at Tess over the top of the baby’s head. “Doc Fredericks and Fay?”
She led the way down the stairs and out the kitchen door. “You can imagine my surprise when she told me. I don’t believe my aunt has ever let a man escort her anywhere since Uncle Hershel died, and that was over ten years ago.”
“Then it’s high time she did.” Daniel scratched Shadow’s ears. Taking Tess’s elbow, he gave her a one-handed boost onto the wagon seat. He handed Emily to her mother and climbed up beside her. “We’ll have to hurry if we don’t want to be late.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t ready. That stupid weasel got into the chicken coop again.”
“Did he kill any of them?”
“No, he just ate a few eggs, but I had to stop and clean up the mess.”
“I’ll look for his hole and take care of him.”
“Thank you, Daniel.”
It was a beautiful spring day. He enjoyed the ride into town with Tess at his side, her face turned up to the sun’s warmth. On her lap, Emily chattered happily in a language only she understood.
“You like the horses?” Tess asked, when the baby pointed a chubby finger in their direction. “We’ll have to get you a pony when you’re bigger.”
Daniel glanced over at them. “She’s grown so much. It amazes me every time I see her.”
“I was thinking the same thing. Can you believe she’s eight months old already?”
“No, I can’t.” Sometimes it seemed like only yesterday Rory had died, the anguish of his loss still deep and painful. Today it felt like an eternity, a lifetime of caring for Tess, of loving a woman who would always belong to his brother.
He cleared his throat. “Are Emily’s teeth still bothering her?”
“Another one just broke through the skin. I think the pain is easing.”
“That’s good.”
“You know, Daniel, I missed out on so much with Emily up to now. I’m determined it won’t happen anymore.”
He stared at her, alarmed by the resolute look in her eyes. “What are you talking about? You’ve been with her every minute since the day she was born.”
“I was here, yes, but I didn’t take any joy in her day to day accomplishments. I was so miserable over losing Rory, I let it overshadow everything. You know I don’t remember her first smile, or when she first rolled over or sat up by herself. At some point, I simply realized she was doing all those things.”
“It’s understandable, Tess. You lost your husband. You needed to grieve.”
“Yes, I did. I loved Rory, and I’ll always miss him. But it’s time I got on with my life.”
Daniel stared at her with raised brows, his uneasiness growing. “What is it you intend to do?”
“I don’t know yet.”
He let out a breath. “I’m relieved. You sounded so determined, I was afraid you had big changes in mind.”
“Would that bother you?”
His gaze met hers. “I suppose it wo
uld. I’m content with the way things are.”
“Sometimes change is good. Sometimes it’s necessary.”
He didn’t answer. Changing the nature of his relationship with Tess wasn’t an option. She was his sister-in-law and his friend. Loyalty to his brother’s memory made anything else impossible. Despite the pain of loving her. It also left him wondering exactly what changes she had in mind.
* * * *
Tess watched Daniel out of the corner of her eye as they approached the church. His lips were set in a tight line. He seemed upset by her words, but it was too late to question him now. He stopped the wagon in the sparse shade of a group of young aspen. A few worshipers still climbed the steps to the church.
“We made it in time.” Tess handed Emily to Daniel and took his hand to descend. While he tied the horses, she brushed at the creases across the front of her blue poplin dress. Nothing short of a hot iron would remove the wrinkles.
“Stop fussing, Tess. You look fine, and you can be thankful Emily’s diaper didn’t leak.”
“That’s something,” she agreed.
They climbed the shallow steps of the white-washed church and moved along the aisle to the pew where Tess’s family was seated. Nora scooted closer to her husband to make room for them. Across the aisle Aunt Fay sat with the town doctor, her cheeks pink beneath her upswept silver hair. Tess didn’t have time to say more than a quick hello to her parents and her sister before Reverend Thomas cleared his throat and began the sermon.
Halfway through the long service, Emily let out a cry. Tess jiggled her and clapped her little hands together, but she refused to be calmed. Usually there was any number of babies in the congregation wailing in boredom. Today, of course, hers was the only one. Mortified, she shushed her.
“Let me try,” Daniel whispered. Taking Emily, he held her in the crook of his arm. She touched his nose and smiled. Tess relaxed. For the rest of the service her daughter behaved beautifully.
After singing the last hymn, the congregation filed outside. Tess retrieved Emily from Daniel and waited beside the steps for her parents who were still inside, speaking to Reverend Thomas.
“My, you certainly do have the touch,” Lottie said, descending the final step to stand next to Daniel. Tess’s younger sister looked up at him with a dimpled smile. “Maybe you should think about having little ones of your own.”
“Now, Lottie, that would be putting the cart before the horse.” His lips twisted in a rueful smile. “I believe I need a wife first.”
“I don’t imagine you would have any trouble finding one. Of course maybe you haven’t had an opportunity to go courting, what with spending all your spare time looking after Tess.”
Lottie’s blue eyes were guileless in her pretty face. With her blond curls and softly rounded figure, she looked as innocent as an angel. Tess ground her teeth together. In Lottie’s case, looks were deceiving. Nothing her sister said was ever innocent, and she wondered what she was plotting now.
“Poor Daniel, constantly at my beck and call. Is it my fault you haven’t married?” she asked.
He grinned. “Why certainly.”
Lottie scowled at Tess as Wesley and Nora approached.
“Hand over that pretty baby. I haven’t seen her in a week,” Nora said.
“She’s getting another tooth, Mama.” Tess settled Emily in her mother’s arms, and Nora hugged her granddaughter to her plump bosom.
“Is she? I’ll have to show her off to Mary and Enid.”
“Tess.” Daniel stopped her before she’d taken more than a few steps after her mother. “I’m going to head home.”
“You aren’t staying for Sunday dinner?”
“No, I really do want to start replanting the corn.”
Tess sighed in exasperation. “I know it’s no use trying to change your mind.”
He smiled. “Shall I come get you later?”
“I’ll bring her home.” Wesley gave Tess’s shoulders a squeeze. “It’s the only chance I have to talk to my daughter. You know I never get a word in edgewise with Nora around.”
Daniel nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Tess. Thank your mother for the dinner invitation.”
“I will. Don’t work too hard.”
“Goodbye, Daniel.” Lottie smiled and rested her hand on his arm. “Next time you’ll have to stay for dinner. We don’t see nearly enough of you.”
“I will just as soon as I replant the corn.”
Tess watched him walk away. Wesley moved off to speak to some of the other men, leaving her alone with her sister.
“Daniel seemed more cheerful than usual today.” Lottie’s eyes narrowed as she stared at his retreating back. “You know, I never really noticed how handsome he is. Next to Rory, he looked sort of faded.”
Tess pondered her sister’s statement, realizing it was true. Daniel was a pale shadow of his older brother. His hair was a lighter shade of red, and his eyes weren’t as deep a blue. He was calm and dependable. Rory’s personality had been vibrant. He’d lived life with reckless abandon and died because of it.
“Yes, he is handsome.” Tess pictured the classic lines of Daniel’s profile and the warmth of his smile. He was tall and lean but his body was hard with muscle from hours spent working in the fields. “I’ve never thought of him that way before.”
“No, he’s just good old Daniel to you. He farms your land and helps you with Emily. You’ve always had it easy, Tess.”
She stared at her sister, anger heating her cheeks. “Yes, it was easy becoming a widow at twenty-two. I’ve never asked a thing from Daniel. Any help he gives me comes from his kind heart and his love for his niece.”
“And you take full advantage.”
“Think what you like. I don’t know what business it is of yours, anyway.” Tess unclenched her fists and took a breath, her sister’s words penetrating deep.
“Maybe I’ll make Daniel my business. I’ve always gotten along well with him, and he certainly is one of the most eligible bachelors in this poky town.”
“Aren’t you still seeing Simon Jaffee?”
“Yes, but he’s beginning to bore me. All he talks about is his law practice. It’s time for a change.”
“You’d better watch out, Lottie, or you’ll ruin your reputation. I think you’ve kept company with every unmarried man in town.”
“That’s not true! You’re mean, Tess. We can’t all marry the first man we ever loved.”
Lottie’s voice caught, and Tess stared at her sister in confusion. She had never understood Lottie, but she did want her to find happiness.
“Well, you’ve certainly had plenty of opportunities. Mama told me at least two of your former beaux have proposed.”
Lottie tossed her head. “Three.”
“You’re nineteen. It’s time you chose one of them.”
“I’m not exactly an old maid, but maybe I’ll choose Daniel. You wouldn’t like that much, would you?”
Tess wouldn’t like it at all. Just the thought of her sister with Daniel made her chest ache. Lottie would never make him happy, not the way he deserved. “You’re forgetting something,” she said.
“What?”
“Daniel hasn’t asked you.” Angry and upset, she turned on her heel and stalked off to look for her mother.
“What’s wrong?” Nora asked when Tess found her on the shady side of the church, visiting with Mary Riedel.
“Nothing. Why do you ask?” Tess was surprised her mother had noticed her discomfiture.
“You’re not very good at hiding your feelings. My guess is you’ve been arguing with Lottie again. Won’t you girls ever learn to get along?”
Tess sighed. “Probably not.”
“What were you arguing about this time?”
She took Emily from her mother when she began to fuss. “Lottie intends to have Daniel as her next suitor.”
Nora’s eyes brightened. “They would make a splendid match. Your sister needs to settle down and start a family of her
own.”
“Oh, Mama, Daniel and Lottie? They’re so different.”
“That’s not a bad thing. Look at you and Rory. Opposites attract.”
Bittersweet emotion flooded Tess. “True, but still! I doubt Daniel would be interested. In all the years I’ve known him, he’s never been serious about any particular girl.”
“How old is Daniel, twenty-five or six? It’s high time he married and started a family.”
Tess frowned. “He’s twenty-seven. You’re right, Mama. He would make a wonderful husband and father. It’s a shame he’s never found the right girl.”
When Rory was alive, she’d teased Daniel about settling down. Now she was selfishly glad he hadn’t married. His wife might not understand all the time he devoted to helping Tess. Sometimes she didn’t understand it herself.
She was quiet as she walked the short distance to her parents’ home. Thinking about Daniel with Lottie made her feel a little sick, and she tried to push aside the disturbing images of the two of them together. She didn’t know why it bothered her, but it did, and she wasn’t ready to examine her feelings too closely. Her reflective mood evaporated in the rush to finish dinner preparations and get the food on the table. Besides family, Hank and Mary Riedel and Doc Fredericks were joining them for the meal.
Once they were seated, Tess turned to the sheriff. “How is your shoulder, Hank? Daniel told me about the hold up at the bank.”
“It’s healing nicely. I should be able to get rid of this sling in another week or two.”
“I was sorry to hear you’re quitting your job. The town will miss you.”
Hank sighed. “It’s time. With Craven still loose in the area, we need a younger, faster man as sheriff. I want that outlaw caught almost as badly as you and Daniel do. I’m just sorry I won’t be the man to bring him in.”
She touched his arm. “I know you’ve done your best, and I certainly don’t blame you in any way.”
“Daniel said the same thing.” Hank leaned back in his chair. His worried brown eyes brightened a bit as he continued. “I just got word my replacement is on his way.”
“That’s good news,” Wesley said. “When is he coming?”
“Sometime this week. His name is Nathan Swift. He’s from back east, and I hear he’s as fast with a gun as his name implies.”
Bittersweet Page 2
