"I will, ...and I want to tell you, Mr Wallace! I have changed! I am not the same big bastard that I was the last time I was here, when I broke into your house and tried to steal money from you so that I could use it to escape the estate with it. But before I tell you everything, can I please just pin yir medal on yir jumper. It will make me happy to see ye wearin' it!"
Mr Wallace picked up the medal from the little box, looked at it, then handed it to Big Wee Rab.
Rab took it gingerly from his outstretched hand, leant forward and pinned it to the old man's jumper.
When the old man sat back in his chair, and started to listen to Big Wee Rab speak, he had a smile on his face.
.
Robert sipped his tea and then began to tell his story. He started right at the beginning, talked about his time in prison, his need to escape the estate, his salvation in Wales, and then his realisation that without self-respect Robert would never be able to put his old self behind him and start afresh.
When he was finished, he asked for forgiveness one more time.
The old man looked tired. Very tired.
"Robert? Is that what you want to be called now?" Mr Wallace asked.
"Please. Big Wee Rab is dead."
"You are a brave man Robert. Coming here tonight. For more reasons than I think you understand."
"I think I do, Mr Wallace. You have a gun. I think now that it was you that killed Tam and Jamsie and Wee Eck. And I think you wanted to kill me too. You are the brave man, Mr Wallace. You have fought back against the bastards like me that have made everyone else's life hell. I have never said this to anyone before, but I respect you Mr Wallace. On the farm they say that ultimately 'good' always triumphs o'er evil. With men like you on the side o' good, I think that saying will always be true. I winnie tell anyone about yir secret. We all have secrets. I just want your forgiveness, and perhaps any tips or advice you can give me on how to become a better person. And then I'm going to go back to the farm in Wales, and then one day I'll make it to France to start my new life. But first I'm going to get a job, so that I can earn the cash to get me to France. I've got to get away frae the estate as soon as possible. But I'm no goin’ anywhere until you decide whether or not tae forgive me. I dinnie expect you tae understand me, and ye probably think that I'm still a big fool, but wan thing's fir certain. I'm no the same person as I wiz. In them days, I didnie know the difference between right or wrong. Now I do. I'm sorry, Mr Wallace. I really am."
Mr Wallace listened in silence. He was finding it hard to think now. He needed to sleep.
He started to cough.
He spluttered into his handkerchief, wiped his mouth and then looked across at Robert.
Mr Wallace had never seen a miracle in his life. Ever.
But the man sitting in front of him now, was as close to a miracle as he had ever seen. Big Wee Rab had been completely transformed. He had run away a coward and come back a man. And seemingly, the only person who could help make the transformation complete, was himself, Old Mr Wallace. Incredibly, Robert was looking to him for salvation. And guidance.
Mr Wallace had a decision to make, "Do I kill him or forgive him?"
"Come closer, Robert," Mr Wallace asked. "I want to look into yir eyes."
The young man came forward, kneeling in front of the old man. Mr Wallace looked at him, examining his face. His green eyes.
In spite of himself, Mr Wallace could not stop from beginning to like this young man. He showed spirit, and courage.
A new question began to form in Mr Wallace's mind.
"Instead of killing Big Wee Rab, what can I do before I die to help 'Robert' to live a good and meaningful life?"
He made a decision.
"Robert, I need to think about all o' this. It's all a wee bit too much for me right now. I need to sleep. I'm an old man now." Mr Wallace started to explain. "...but I would like you to come back here tomorrow night at 7 o'clock. Go now and come back then, dinnie be late, and I'll give you yir answer."
Robert stood up.
"I'll be here Mr Wallace. For better or worse, tomorrow night at 7 p.m. I will be back."
Robert turned, pulled up his hood, and left.
Chapter Eighty Six
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The Fox and Hounds
Knutsford
May 7th
11.30 p.m.
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Peter stood in the car-park, waiting for the door to open and Carolina to emerge from the end of her shift. It was surprisingly warm for this time of year, and the sky was clear of clouds, affording him an amazing view of the stars.
Out here in the countryside, the light pollution was practically non-existent, and he had an incredible view of the heavens above. The view was almost as good as the last time he was in Greece...with Susie...over two years ago.
He was just starting to think about Susie, when the door opened, and Carolina emerged.
She came across to him, kissed him softly on the lips and smiled.
"Hi!" she said softly.
"Hello," he replied.
She put her arms through his and they started walking down the street towards the house where little Sam was being looked after. They walked in silence, until Carolina nestled her head against his arm, and Peter automatically lifted his arm and placed it around her shoulders.
"I missed you today," she said.
"I missed you too."
"What did you get up to? Anything interesting?"
Peter thought for a moment about telling her the truth, and then decided against it.
"I just took a drive into the countryside. It's very beautiful around here."
They picked up Sam, and Carolina pushed him in his little buggy down the road, where they soon turned right, walked up and across then round another street, and then arrived at a small, terraced cottage.
As Carolina opened the door, Peter stepped backwards off the pavement on to the road, looking at the house. It was a nice, small house.
"Do you want to come in?" Carolina asked..."Just make yourself at home in the front room, I'll put Sam to bed, and be straight down."
Peter followed her in, and let himself into her front room. The room was very tidy, and it seemed as if it had been newly decorated: freshly painted walls, a new white carpet. Peter slipped off his shoes, and took them back into the hallway, leaving them by the front door.
Going back into the front room, he sat down on the sofa, and looked around.
Peter was nervous. He felt a tremendous sexual tension in the air: as they had walked along the road, he could feel the electricity sparking off Carolina. Just being with her made him feel uncomfortable. Not 'uncomfortable' in a bad way, but in a good way...an overwhelming compulsion to reach out and draw her into his arms, to remove her clothes and to make love to her. To 'fuck' her.
Peter had never felt like this about anyone before. With Susie it was very different. With Susie he had never felt the same raw desire to rip her clothes off and just take her, then, there, or wherever they were. To 'fuck' her.
But with Carolina, it was almost as if he was being controlled by a primordial instinct to procreate... He needed to have to sex with her. Constantly. He felt as if he couldn't keep his hands off her. And this desire to 'fuck'...even the word was foreign to him. To Peter, until now, the word had held negative connotations. Yet with Carolina, the word described exactly what he wanted to do, in as positive a way as possible.
He wanted sex with Carolina...as much as possible...rough sex, fast sex...furious sex!
It was difficult to describe how he felt and why he felt that way...
The strange thing was, Peter felt that it was very mutual.
A voice disturbed his thoughts and he looked up.
Carolina was standing in the doorway. She was naked.
"You have a choice, Peter. You can have a glass of wine first, or some supper, or me?"
Peter stood up, took her hand and followed her up the stai
rs.
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They were lying on the sofa, both naked, Carolina's soft, round breasts pressing against Peter's chest. Peter was stroking her face, looking into her eyes.
They had made love upstairs, then come down for some food. And then they had made love again.
Peter had never had sex like this before. He felt an incredible connection with Carolina, yet at the same time, he didn't know why. They knew practically nothing about each other.
For a while they talked to each other about their pasts. She explained that before Sam, she had always wanted to travel the world, to see the places that everyone should see before they settled down: Vietnam, China, Australia, South America... But then Sam had come along and the dream was put to bed. She would never be able to afford that now. Peter felt guilty, wondering if he should admit that he had been to some of the places she mentioned, but then thought better of it. He had been there with Susie.
"Can I ask you something Peter," Carolina said, in such a way that Peter knew it was going to be a sensitive question.
"Your scars? Where...why...? " she almost whispered, running her figures gently along one of the scars on his back.
"Don't worry. It's okay to ask. A few months back I had a kidney transplant. I was in a car accident, then almost died. I was very fortunate. My kidney's failed, then they found a donor and my life was saved..."
Carolina bent forward and kissed his scars.
Peter shivered. For some very strange reason he found that very weird. Not beautiful, as the gesture had been intended.
Peter was dying to ask about Sam, but he had been holding back. Perhaps it was not the correct thing to do, to ask about a child, so soon after meeting a single mother. Perhaps he should get to know her first. This was all new ground to him.
Instead, he suddenly remembered a question that he had been wanting to ask for a few days now.
"Carolina...the Grey Mare's Small Tail...? How did you discover it? When I went up there it seemed like I was the first person to be there in years."
"Sorry, I meant to ask you before, what you thought of it... Was it good?"
"Yes, it was exactly what I was looking for... but how did you find it?"
"A boyfriend took me up there one summer's afternoon."
"So, someone else showed it to you first?"
"Yes."
"It's a lovely place. I really liked it. But it's not exactly top of my 'most romantic places in the world' any more. We ended up having an argument, and I never saw him again."
She hesitated, as if about to add something else, then thought better of it. Peter was watching her carefully. It was as if a little shadow had crossed her eyes.
"What? What's the matter?"
"Actually, that's not completely true what I said. It is a romantic place, but I just completely misjudged my boyfriend and the moment. We were talking, I said something he didn't want to hear. He got upset. That was that."
Something began to stir in Peter's mind. He began to feel slightly uncomfortable.
Carolina sensed it.
"Anyway, ...enough of that. Now for some more supper..."
She jumped up from the sofa, her breasts bouncing beautifully just in front of Peter's face. Suddenly all thoughts of waterfalls and ex-boyfriends were forgotten. He watched Carolina walk into the kitchen, admiring her figure and beginning to feel aroused again. He heard the microwave ping and cupboards opening.
Peter stood up, walking over to an arrangement of photographs on the wall above the fireplace. There was a large selection of photographs from different points in her life, all of different sizes.
One of them was a group photograph, with a whole bunch of people standing on top of a mountain somewhere, a fantastic vista rolling away behind them. Peter felt compelled to bend forward and look more closely, examining the faces in the photographs.
Just then Carolina came back into the room with two hot plates of apple pie with a few dollops of ice-cream, and saw what he was looking at.
"It's at the top of a mountain in France. We'd just climbed up it. It had taken us all day."
"You climb?" Peter asked, suddenly feeling very uneasy.
"Yes. It was my passion as I was growing up, and until a couple of years ago. I had to stop when I found out I was pregnant."
"Who are all the people in the photograph then?"
"It's our local climbing club. Those were the good days. There were about a hundred of us. We used to meet every Friday night in a town about seventy miles from here. People came from all over...here's your apple pie. The ice-cream is melting...Come. Eat!"
Peter ignored her. He was studying the photograph. Staring at the faces. An alarm bell was beginning to ring quietly in his head. He didn't know exactly what he was looking for, but he was looking for something. Someone?
"Are any of them from around here?"
Carolina walked over to him, wrapping an arm around his waist.
"Why do you ask?" she asked quietly.
"I don't know...it just came out."
"Actually, the answer to your question is 'yes'. A couple of them lived round here."
"You look very happy..."
Peter shivered.
"Carolina...was one of them your boyfriend?"
"At the time, no. But I met a couple of boyfriends in the club. Over the years I was there...I went out with a couple of them. Climbing was my passion, we shared common interests, spent a lot of time together in situations where you depended upon others to safeguard your life. It was easy to build up trust in people,...and a couple of them, to be brutally honest, were very nice...Actually, I'd rather not talk about it just now. A couple of weeks ago I got some very bad news about one of them, and another one of them has gone missing. No one knows where he is. We are all very worried about him."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be prying. The landlord said that you had had a bad time of it recently. Told me to go easy with you. I think he feels very fond and protective towards you!"
"Mike? He's a darling. He's right. Things haven't been brilliant recently. After I split up with my last serious boyfriend...actually he split up with me...totally out of the blue...he was the one at the waterfall...I never saw anyone for ages. Sam came along, and then ...well...dating while you're carrying a baby around isn't that easy. Then, after a long time I met someone else, we dated for a while, and then I split up with him. I was probably going out with him on the rebound. A month later he had gone missing...no one has ever heard of him since..."
Peter was staring at the photograph again. He felt very cold, strange...very strange...
"Is your boyfriend in the photograph?"
"Which one?"
"Anyone...Either ...both?"
"Actually, one is, the other isn't. The one from the waterfall took the photograph...I started going out with him shortly after that...and there...that's the other one. He's the one that disappeared." Carolina said, leaning forward and pointing to a large man on the left of the photograph. "We were always quite good friends, but nothing really happened until much later. It's funny how relationships develop, isn't it?"
Peter bent forward and looked at the face of the man Carolina had just pointed to...the face was quite small, and quite difficult to make out, but for a second Peter wondered if he had seen him before.
Carolina walked back to the sofa and sat down.
"Anyway, I'm eating now. It'll be wasted otherwise, and I cooked this pie specially for you..."
"Sorry, I've lost my appetite...sorry...Carolina, can I ask you something? What happened to the other boyfriend? The one from the waterfall? And why did you split up?"
"Peter...", Carolina suddenly choked up, a few tears coming to her eyes from out of nowhere. Peter saw the tears and shivered. Almost violently. As if something within him had reacted to the sight of her emotion. "...Actually, maybe I should talk about it, after all. I've never really talked about him that much. Or what happened. I st
ill can't believe it's happened... My girlfriends say that I repress it all too much."
"What? What happened?" Peter said, coming over to sit beside Carolina and kneeling in front of her on the carpet, resting his elbows on her knees. "Tell me?"
"I was in love with the one that took the photograph. Not then, but afterwards. I really thought it was true love..." She was crying now, the bowl of cold apple pie by now set aside on the sofa, her hands resting upon Peter's. I fell in love with him. He was very handsome...I really thought he felt the same way... then one day, after we'd been going out for six months, he took me up to the waterfall. It seemed a good place to go...I had some very important news to tell him. I was really excited about it too."
"What happened?"
She blushed, and laughed a little.
"Well, sparing the details, ...we ate, had a picnic, ...everything was brilliant. I was lying in his arms...I told him I loved him. He said he loved me too. He was holding me very tight, ...and then I told him that I was pregnant."
"Pregnant?"
"Yes. With Sam."
"He's the father?"
"Yes....Oh shit...I've never told anyone that...before...why am I telling you now? Why? I hardly know you...."
Peter took both her hands in his and said very calmly: "What happened next?"
"I don't know..." she started crying again. "It was very weird....I told him he was the father...I actually genuinely believed that he was going to be very happy about it! I thought he might be the one...that life was really coming together all of a sudden...But then it just all fell apart. He seemed to get really distraught. He got up, started pacing the ground all around the waterfall...he started acting a little weird. Then he came back across to me, sat down beside me and told me that our relationship was over. That it 'had' to be over. 'Because he loved me.' I started to freak out. I thought he was joking at first. Then he started packing up everything, really quickly. He never spoke after that. I was crying my eyes out, trying to get him to speak to me, trying to get him to tell me exactly what the hell he was talking about... I didn't understand. Then ...then..he walked me back to the car. He helped me in, really carefully, as if I was suddenly the most delicate flower in the world...and then he drove me home. He dropped me off at my house...and then I never saw him again for a long time...Until once about eight months ago, and then once again, more recently."
BOX SET of THREE TOP 10 MEDICAL THRILLERS Page 44
