Middle School's a Drag, You Better Werk!

by Greg Howard

  And before you know it, Colton Sanford does the weirdest thing ever. He leans in and kisses me on the cheek. And I don’t mean an air-kiss. I mean, like, a his-real-live-lips-touched-my-cheek-skin kind of kiss. And he did it right here in the lobby of North Charleston Middle School in front of everyone—my parents, my clients/friends, the other contestants, Mr. Arnold, Mr. Grayson, Miss Troxel, Sara Dimery of CTA. And you know what? It actually doesn’t feel like the weirdest thing ever. It feels like the coolest thing ever. And nobody even gives us a second look. And most important, I don’t feel like I’m going to hurl like I always thought I would the first time I got kissed.

  Colton pulls back and shoots me the wicked-cool, stomach-smoothie smile. I’m not sure what the professional thing to do is at a time like this since this is my first boy kiss ever. So I just ram my hands down into my pockets and smile back at Colton.

  My phone buzzes/vibrates in my pocket, which kind of makes me jump because I’m not used to getting calls on it. I pull it out and look at the display. I don’t recognize the number.

  “Hey, um, I need to take this,” I say to Colton, sounding way important and professional.

  He nods and goes back over to his mom. He gives her a big hug around the waist and she hugs him back. That makes me smile. The phone buzzes/vibrates again in my hand. I flip it open and lift it to my ear.

  “Michael Pruitt,” I say, because that’s how I’ve heard Dad answer his business calls—with just his name. It sounds very professional.

  “Hello, Mr. Pruitt,” a female voice says in my ear. “This is Allie Rosen with Later Tonight with Billy Shannon.”

  And—OMG!—I think I just peed a little bit.

  “Oh, brilliant,” I say, slipping into Penelope-the-British-GPS-lady’s voice for some reason. “Miss Rosen. It’s so lovely to hear from you.”

  There’s a pause on the line.

  “Um, yeah. So I got your sizzle reel for Brady Hill,” she says.

  My throat closes up a little. “You did?”

  “Yes, we did,” Allie Rosen says. “I loved it. And so did Billy.”

  “Billy,” I say, momentarily losing Penelope’s accent. “As in Shannon?”

  She chuckles a little. “That’s the one.”

  I don’t know what to say. The Billy Shannon watched my sizzle reel. I mean, Brady’s sizzle reel. Directed and produced by me, of course.

  “Stupendous, Miss Rosen,” I say, recovering my wicked-cool Penelope accent. “That’s simply divine, my dear.”

  “Okay, so.” And then Allie Rosen of Later Tonight with Billy Shannon says the magic words that every talent agent wants to hear: “I’d like to book your client.”

  I swallow. Real hard. Because just like that, the Anything Talent and Pizzazz Agency, a division of Anything, Inc., Michael Pruitt—President, Founder, CEO, and Pizzazz Expert, has hit the big time.

  RESOURCES

  DRAGUTANTE

  “Dragutante is a nonprofit that hosts an annual event to provide a platform for young artists (under eighteen) to fully realize their self-expression onstage. This full-day event will create a safe place for young, creative future drag queens to experience the drag lifestyle behind the scenes, as well as onstage! Providing this opportunity to get to know celebrity drag queens will show families who are uneducated about drag culture that it is something to be celebrated.”

  From the website of dragutante.org.

  TRUE COLORS UNITED

  “Cofounded by Cyndi Lauper, Lisa Barbaris, and Jonny Podell, True Colors United implements innovative solutions to youth homelessness that focus on the unique experiences of LGBTQ young people. In the United States, 4.2 million youth experience homelessness each year, with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth 120 percent more likely to experience homelessness than their non-LGBTQ peers. True Colors United is committed to changing that.”

  From the website of truecolorsunited.org.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I loved writing Mikey’s story. It took me back to a much simpler time in my life when I turned our family’s laundry/storage room off the carport into my business, the Anything Shop. Yes, I gave croquet lessons—fifty cents a lesson, and that included a glass of milk with ice that had to be consumed before the lesson began. The ice was very important for some reason that escapes me now. And the cardboard general store my dad built in our front yard for me was no match for a baby tornado. It was tough sometimes being twelve and running a business empire all by myself, which is why I am so grateful for all the help I had crafting this story about it.

  My heartfelt thanks go to . . .

  My agent, Bri Johnson—I literally would not be writing this if you hadn’t found me in your slush pile and given me a chance. It has been an absolute joy working with you and I look forward to many wonderful years, laughs, and successes to come.

  My editor, Stacey Barney—for your patience with me while writing this book as life threw me a few curveballs. You dragged me over the finish line and helped me create something that I am so in love with.

  My publicist, Lizzie Goodell—for getting the word out, looking after me, and never laughing when I tell you my pie-in-the-sky publicity dreams.

  Publisher Jen Klonsky and the rest of my amazing Putnam/Penguin family from sales, to marketing, to accounting, to school and library, to the art department and everyone in between. You will probably never know just how grateful I am for all of you.

  Cecilia de la Campa and the sub rights team at Writers House—for rocking so hard.

  Caitlin Tutterow and Allie Levick—for keeping me informed and on task, for getting me things (I feel like) I need, and for the encouraging words.

  Lindsey Andrews—for a wicked-cool cover and your keen eye for detail. With you I never worry that the end product will be anything but super-crazy fabulous.

  Michael DiMotta (michaeldimotta.com)—for your gorgeous cover illustration and especially for not firing us through the process. It was totally worth it, right?

  Melissa—for the daily encouragement and pep talks.

  Michelle—for reading the earliest pages of this book and laughing out loud. That gave me the courage to keep writing this story.

  Drag kids extraordinaire Desmond is Amazing (Instagram @desmondisamazing), Katastrophe Jest (@katastrophejest), E! The Dragnificent (@ethedragnificent), and Lactatia (@queenlactatia)—for inspiring me to bring Coco Caliente to life in the middle-grade world. You are all so beautiful and perfect in every way. God bless those in your orbit who have supported and nurtured your gifts.

  Teachers and librarians everywhere—for fighting the good fight every single day, and for your perseverance and bravery. Never doubt for a minute that you are changing lives.

  Travis—for all the things.

  © Jamie Wright Images

  GREG HOWARD was born and raised in the South Carolina Lowcountry, where his love of words and stories blossomed at a young age. Originally set on becoming a songwriter, Greg followed that dream to the bright lights of Nashville, Tennessee, and spent years producing the music of others before eventually returning to his childhood passion of writing stories. Greg writes young-adult and middle-grade novels focusing on LGBTQ characters and issues. He has an unhealthy obsession with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and currently resides in Nashville with his three rescued fur babies—Molly, Toby, and Riley.

  Connect with Greg at greghowardbooks.com

  or on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter:

  @greghowardbooks

  What’s next on

  your reading list?

  Discover your next

  great read!

  Get personalized book picks and up-to-date news about this author.

  Sign up now.

  Better Werk!