“It hurts tonight. I just had to get some more Ibuprophen from the kitchen.”
“I would’ve gotten it for you,” he gently stroked her hair.
“I was trying not to wake you, Mr. Moore, but now that I have,” she softly rubbed his chest, her hand moving in circles slowly down his flat stomach.
Schooner laughed and kissed her forehead, then grabbed her hand as it was rapidly heading south and brought it to his lips, where he kissed her palm.
“Ms. Silver, I give you my word that once we get the go-ahead after Nathaniel’s birth, we will get your mom or my mom or both of them to come and watch him for a few days, and we are going to be holed up at either The Four Seasons or out at the beach house, and I promise to spend the entire time making you come and listening to you scream my name. But until that time, my sweet Baby Mama, no nookie.”
“I hate you.”
“Get over it,” he wrapped his arms around her tighter and kissed the top of her head.
Mia was smiling in the dark. She had once told her mother that she thought that she and Schooner were one being, in two separate bodies. And here she was, years later, wrapped up in his big, protective arms, with their son growing stronger and bigger every day inside of her. Never, in her wildest dreams, through all the years that loneliness was her best friend and darkness her closest ally, did she ever think this could be a reality, much less her reality. She was resigned to thinking that this was a lifetime where she was meant to learn lessons (and she certainly had, the hard way), but she was certain that it was not a lifetime that she would share with another for more than a season.
“I need you to meet me when she takes her nap this afternoon. Text me when she falls asleep.” Schooner said quietly to Seth.
“What’s up?” Seth was surprised and intrigued. Schooner never asked him to meet up with him during the day, especially when he was staying with Mia.
Hitting him with his All-American Boy smile, Schooner cryptically called over his shoulder, “You’ll see,” as he headed out the door.
It was 2:30 P.M. when Mia was finally wiped out from hours of working from her bed. As she curled up to take an afternoon nap, Seth told her that he would be out running some errands while she slept, but that he would be back in a little while.
As he walked out of the bedroom, he texted Schooner.
Seth: BBC in dreamland
Schooner: Meet me at the corner of Mercer & Grand
As Seth headed down to SoHo in a cab, he could not fathom what Schooner had in store. Seth was amused as his cab pulled up and he saw women doing double-takes to stare at Schooner, who stood there oblivious, clad in jeans and a cream double cable knit sweater, looking every inch the male model. Seth just shook his head, what a waste — the man should never have given up that childhood modeling career.
“I’m tempted to throw my arms around you and kiss you just to keep the bitches away.” Seth greeted him. “You know you’re really too pretty to be straight.”
Schooner just laughed, “C’mon, I want to show you something.” Seth followed Schooner through the columned entrance of 100 Grand Street. Crossing the lobby to the elevator, Schooner pulled a key out of his wallet and inserted it into a slot on the elevator panel. The elevator car slowly ascended and opened.
Seth gasped and smacked Schooner on his muscular upper arm. “You didn’t!”
Laughing, “Yeah, I did. Think she’ll like it?”
Seth stood there, speechless, taking in the forty foot by forty foot living room set in an open loft space. Sun drenched by a wall of southern facing windows, the room retained all of its original charm, a tin panel ceiling, ornate Corinthian columns separating spaces and polished hardwood floors.
“Is it the whole floor of the building?” Seth’s mouth was hanging open.
“It is.” Schooner was anxious to show him around.
Seth wandered through the spacious loft, marveling at the chef’s kitchen, the three bedrooms (a true luxury in New York), a huge marble walk-in shower in the master bath, and a library with floor to ceiling bookcases.
“I think this should be the nursery.” Schooner was saying as they walked into the second bedroom. “And I’d like to make the library into a guest room, a place for my parents or Mia’s parents to stay.”
Seth nodded. He still could not speak and then finally, “BBC is going to be so pissed that she didn’t get to pick this out.”
Schooner smiled, “Yeah, I know. But she was in no condition to and we really need the space before Nathaniel is born. Her apartment has been fine for the two of us, but it is not nearly big enough for the three of us, and I know both of our parents are going to want to come and spend time. Holly will also always have a place to stay.”
“You are both such control freaks, how does it work?”
Schooner’s eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled, “We truly get each other. Honestly, Seth, I don’t know where I end and she begins. I would do anything for that woman,” he paused, “and what I need you to do for me is to decorate this nursery. Theme, furniture, walls, blankets, stuffed animals, whatever — just do it.”
Seth’s eyes were wide. “Heaven,” he sang, “I’m in heaven.”
Schooner stood in the doorway while Seth stalked around the room. He looked at the walls, inside the closet, up at the ceiling. “Jungle safari,” he finally announced. “Palm trees, grass huts, giraffes, lions, monkeys hanging from the trees. Greens, yellows, blues and browns. I have a friend who can do the painting and I will find all the accessories. I’ll probably have him do a hand painted crib, dresser and armoire. And maybe a rocker, too.” Seth turned to Schooner, “Are you scared? You should be scared. I’m going to spend a lot of your money.”
“Fine with me.” Schooner shrugged his shoulders, “As long as Mia likes it. She’s the one you’ve got to please.”
“BBC will love whatever I do.” Seth rolled his eyes, “After the makeover I had to do on her, this is a breeze.”
Chapter Two
“Hello? Hello?” Mia repeated into her cell, but no one answered. “Who’s there?” Somewhere in the distance she heard Schooner answering his phone and then his voice, loud and sharp, broke into her dream. It was his cell that had actually been ringing, not hers. Hers was only a dream.
Rolling over in the darkness of their room, she looked at the clock, 5:12 A.M. Something was wrong.
Schooner was sitting up in bed, “Is he alright? … Where did they take him? … Well, what are the doctors saying? … Do they know what he took? … Damn it, CJ, what was he doing out on a school night? … Do you even have any idea of what is going on in his life? … Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will … I’ll get the first flight out … No, you don’t need to come get me. I’ll just rent a car and go straight to Hoag Hospital … Yes, I’ll call you when I have my flight info.”
Mia was sitting up next to Schooner with an arm around him. Kissing his shoulder softly, “Why don’t you go shower and pack and I’ll find you a flight and a rental car.”
Schooner nodded.
“Is he ok? Do they know what he took?”
“They’ve pumped his stomach and he’s stable.” Schooner sighed deeply and rested his head on Mia’s.
“I know what you’re doing,” she whispered.
“How can I not?”
The sadness in his voice tore at her heart. Nathaniel was up and kicking up a storm. Mia took Schooner’s hand and placed it on her stomach, “Because Schooner Moore, you are a great father and Zac is very, very lucky to have someone who has been as dedicated as you have been.”
“I haven’t been there for him since the L9 opening. I’ve been so angry at him for what he did to you and Nathaniel.” Schooner put his face in his hands, “Clearly, I have not handled this well.”
“Stop that.” Mia did not like where this was going. “You have spoken to CJ every few days. You always ask about Zac. About how he is adjusting to life back there, how he is adjusting to his new school. She has never once give
n you any indication that there was a problem. Actually, it’s been just the opposite, that he has a new girlfriend and the first parent-teacher conferences went well.”
Mia watched the myriad of emotions fly across Schooner’s face at lightning speed. She ached for him as she watched him internalize what he was perceiving as failure, his failure.
“Schooner, look at me. Please. You are a good father. Such a good father. If this was his cry for help, get him help. But please don’t blame yourself.”
Putting his hand back on Mia’s stomach, Nathaniel obliged with a hearty kick. “Ouch.” Mia grimaced and Schooner smiled. “Now go shower and I’ll get you on a plane.”
An hour later, Schooner was leaving for the airport. “I feel like hell leaving you, Mia. Promise me you’ll get Seth and Kami and Gaby here to help.”
“I will,” she nodded, distressed that he was leaving, yet trying not to let him have any indication of her real feelings.
“Please stay in bed. I’m going to worry about you,” he cupped her check in his palm and she closed her eyes, focusing on the sensation of his hand on her cheek.
“No worries. You don’t need any more worries.”
Kissing her lightly on the lips, “I love you, Baby Girl.”
“It’s smoochal,” she forced a smile and he was out the door.
Trying hard to control her tears and losing the battle, Mia felt guilty for not feeling more empathy for Zac and for CJ, but she just couldn’t trust them.
Chapter Three
“So, have you seen him? What are the doctors saying? How did this happen?” Mia had a million questions for Schooner.
“It appears that he and some of his new buddies drank an enormous amount of alcohol, coupled with anti-anxiety meds taken from several parents’ medicine cabinets.” Schooner sounded tired.
“Ok, so it was stupid teenage behavior that went too far versus serious addiction stuff?” Mia was breathing a sigh of relief.
“It looks like it.”
“Well, that’s good news. That’s a whole lot better than either rehab or suicidal behavior.”
“I guess.”
“Schooner, are you ok, Babe?”
“No,” he was silent for a moment, “We’re lucky we didn’t lose him, Mia. Am glad one of these kids was responsible enough to actually call 911 and not just leave him.”
“Me too,” she said, softly. For as much pain and suffering as Zac had caused her, she did not wish the same for him. Seeing his father hurt, physically gouged her heart. “Was he glad to see you?”
“He’s a very angry young man.”
“God, I wish I could hug you right now. Oh Schooner, I feel so badly for you because I know you and you are beating yourself up right now. And you shouldn’t be.”
“Well, I don’t know about that.”
“I do.” Mia was firm in her resolve. Changing the subject, “So, where will you be staying? We didn’t make you hotel reservations.”
“I’m going to stay here at the house,” silence on both ends, “I’ll stay in the guest room.”
“Ok.” Mia’s stomach started to knot and Nathaniel began to squirm.
“How are you? Who helped you today?”
“Seth was here all day and he cooked dinner tonight. I’m covered. Don’t worry about me.”
“Ok.”
And there was a pang of sadness, one she immediately felt guilty about, she wanted him to worry about her. And she hated herself for that. She was a grown, self-sufficient woman and wanting him to take on any more worries was both selfish and childish. She needed to make things easier for him, not more difficult.
“It’s been ten days, isn’t devil spawn all better?” Seth had just finished the dinner dishes.
“He’s ‘coming along’ is what I keep being told.” Mia shrugged, looking even less happy about the situation than Seth.
“Yeah, well Nathaniel is coming along too, in how many weeks?”
“Eight.” Mia was pulling at one of her curls and letting it spring back into place.
“Stop playing with that ‘Bridge and Tunnel’ hair. I wonder if I can get Sam to come to the apartment to cut off that hideous mop. With all those pregnancy hormones coursing through your veins you are hairier than a monkey.”
“Are you done with those dishes yet?” Mia sneered at him.
“No.” Seth sneered back.
“Well, then just throw them out.”
“Fine,” the man personified attitude. Lifting Mia’s favorite Le Crueset pan into the air with a practiced flourish, Seth loudly dropped it into the garbage.
Grabbing his coat, he did not turn around as he announced, “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Mia winced as the door slammed.
Schooner could not get home soon enough.
“Sorry I didn’t call last night, we got home late from the Lakers’ game.”
Mia cringed at the word ‘home’. There was so much wrong in what he had just said, but the word ‘home’ was what made her stomach knot the most.
“Do you think you’ll be home this weekend?” Mia hated asking. She was beginning to feel like she was begging him to come back to her.
“I don’t think so, Baby Girl. Zac is just beginning to open up to me. I really feel like we’re starting to make progress.”
Her anger was starting to surface as she fought hard to keep the tears at bay. “You’ve been gone for almost three weeks, Schooner.”
“Do you think I want to be away from you?”
“I think at this point you don’t really give a shit.”
“Come on, Mia. That’s not fair.”
“Is it fair that I am alone, stuck in bed, with our son due to be born in seven weeks?”
She could hear an exaggerated sigh from him and her anger escalated. “Don’t be dramatic. You are not alone. Seth and Kami and everyone have been there for you and I’m just a phone call away.”
“Yeah, just a phone call away.” Mia’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
“You are really looking to pick a fight tonight, aren’t you?” He was no longer trying to hide how annoyed he had become.
“Is that what you think is going on? Maybe you need to take a look around you and assess what is really going on. Why after three weeks they have guilted you into staying, keeping us apart.”
“I cannot believe you just accused my son of faking things to keep us apart.”
“Well, then let me clarify it for you.” Mia could feel her blood pressure rising, “Your son and your wife will do whatever they need to do to keep you out there, Schooner.”
“Mia, Zac has been going through a very rough time. Cut him a break.”
Shaking with anger, Mia could not understand why she couldn’t get through to him. “You did not just ask me, of all people, to cut Zac a break, did you?”
Schooner remained silent, angering Mia even more.
“You know what, Schooner, just stay out there. I did fine for twenty-four years without you. Nathaniel and I will do fine without you now.” She hit end on the call.
He didn’t try to call back.
Mia stewed for the next hour, her anger toward Schooner escalating as each minute passed.
Finally, she grabbed her cell phone and dialed.
“Are you ok?”
“No.”
“What’s the matter?”
“I have a question to ask you and I want you to answer me honestly, ok?” Mia needed to put it out there.
“Am I being a hormonal bitch or are CJ and Zac exploiting Schooner’s Achilles Heel and his need to protect and to be a good dad? Are they just trying to keep us apart at this point?”
“Wow,” Yoli slowly let out her breath, “Debbie and I just had this conversation about fifteen minutes ago.”
“Did Schooner call you?”
“No, why?”
“Because we had a big blow out tonight about it, Yoli. I lost it on him when he told me to cut Zac a break.”
“He didn’t?”
she erupted. Mia could hear Debbie in the background asking what was going on and Yoli relaying Mia’s words. “I’m going to call him first thing in the morning and get him into the office with some problem, and then I am going to read him the riot act and open his eyes to what is going on. Zac’s a big boy and CJ can certainly handle acting like a mother for once in her life. He needs to be home with you. I can just imagine the guilt they have laid on him.”
“Guilt or no guilt, Yoli — he has chosen to live there with them — like they are a family — and leave me alone.”
“Mia, if he thought, even for a minute, that you were not doing well … ”
Mia interrupted, “I’m not doing well.”
“I can hear that.”
“He doesn’t want to hear it, Yoli.”
“Well, he’s going to — loud and clear. Right now Zac and CJ have him convinced that he is helping Zac recover. I’m sure the way they are playing this is that he is the key to Zac’s recovery. That man will do anything for his family.”
“Unfortunately, I’m not family.” Mia wiped away her tears.
“Ok, now you’re being hormonal, because no matter what, you are at the heart of his family, Mia. Always. You need to believe that.”
“Unfortunately Yoli, right now I don’t.”
Turning off the lights to go to sleep, Mia wished she could be as certain as Yoli that she and Nathaniel were at the heart of his family, the heart of his world.
“You’ll always be at the heart of mine, little boy.” Mia wrapped her arms around her belly, hugging Nathaniel.
Schooner had still not tried to call her back.
Chapter Four
It was bad dream after bad dream, dreams that just led into one another, never ending, anxiety provoking. Schooner telling her that he was going back to CJ, trying to find Schooner at the beach house, but it was empty and filled with cobwebs, Zac sitting behind Schooner’s desk at L9, his feet up on the desk, a smug look on his face, telling security to remove Mia from the premises.
Moore to Lose Page 26
