He started as a dry branch cracked, then Andel took his arm.
What is it? she asked.
He stared woodenly at the volcano. What is it? She’s lost somewhere in terrible pain. You said it yourself!
Andel stepped back, but her gentle touch on his arm remained. If you truly believe there is something you can do, let your heart guide you, she said. Do what you think you must. Take the chance. Otherwise, we will leave here and you will be haunted, not knowing – blaming yourself.
He gazed down at the top of her head. She wouldn’t look at him and he regretted his angry tone.
You don’t mind? he asked.
Mind? She looked at him at last. … That you won’t give up on Lind? Your loyalty and doggedness inspire me. I sometimes like to think that you would show such determination on my behalf … although lately, I am not so sure.
“Andel” he whispered, please! With Lind … and what has happened in my past …
Yes? What has happened? What is so bad that you can’t talk to me? That you must shun me?
He turned to the volcano again. I’m afraid.
Why? What frightens you?
The smolder of the volcano brightened momentarily. His desire to go to it was disturbing. Andel waited, her haze spiked with frustration, deceptively fragile – so many contradictions.
I feel as if it’s calling me, he said.
Then go! Follow your heart.
He clasped her shoulders, willing her to understand. You are my heart, Tsemkarun Andel of Trianog. Her gaze searched his soul as he tried to explain. But Lind is my duty. We are her family, her only family, and I am head of that family and I will not, cannot desert her.
She slowly reached up and placed her palm on his cheek. I would not ask you to, Shamkarun Huldar of Leth. I ask only that you let me in once more, when you are ready.
That I can do. He took her hand and looked across the plain. Will you come with me?
To the volcano?
He nodded.
When she hesitated, Huldar steeled himself to go alone. It was too much to expect, and to revisit the site of her brush with the Breath … But instead of pulling away, she stepped forward and lowered her veil, showing him her feelings with complete trust. Fire rushed through their contact, and his soul returned to a balance he hadn’t known, until then, was missing.
THE VOLCANO
Andel followed Huldar across the valley to the mountains. Their passage was much faster than when they had first arrived and were forced to trek on their legs alone. The place where the lahar had hit was now a shallow valley marked by a paler deposit that wound its way through the surrounding hills.
“It’s strange to be here again,” she said. “I thought I was going to die …” she picked her way gingerly over drifts of solidified stones and mud “… and I was disappointed because I hadn’t had a chance to be part of the team, or see anything of the new planet.”
It was a brave thing you did, Huldar said. He looked back at her. “Casco still has moments, wondering how you managed to keep all those loose rocks from sliding.”
“So do I,” Andel admitted.
They paused again as the ground trembled. Huldar pointed as the cinder cone puffed sullen gouts of magma. “I think we’ve come far enough.”
“What are we going to do?”
“I’m going to try and commune with the planet,” he said.
Commune?
“It’s an ability sacred to Leth. Not everyone can do it and not every planet listens, but I did it before, near the ravines, so maybe I can do it again. Maybe the planet itself can help us to find her.”
“Then why here?” Andel asked. “Why not return to where you were successful before?”
“Because I think it’s called me to this place.”
Andel turned full circle, as if registering their position. There was little snow on the ground; the heat of the volcano prevented it. Barren rocks were swept clean of ash by the prevailing winds.
“What do you want me to do?” she asked.
“Watch over me. If a fresh eruption starts, wake me up!”
She nodded solemnly. “So, what you’re about to do, it’s akin to divining – I think?”
Where do your ideas come from? He tilted his head. “I’ve not thought about it. Could be.”
“But how do you seek out an alien consciousness with your voice?” she went on. “And how do you know where you are or where you’ve been when there are no physical anchors to define boundaries and mark progress?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I’ll just have to feel my way.”
She nodded as if he’d said something profound, and he hoped he had.
“It’s amazing to me … what you can do,” she said.
“It will be amazing if I can do it for a second time!”
He closed his eyes and began to listen, casting about until he found where the vibration seemed strongest. There was no life in this bleak place, and the lack of distraction helped him focus. He kneeled and placed his palms flat against the rock. The planet had spoken to him once, but could so vast a being comprehend his search for a single lost annangi?
He stilled his spirit. The sulfurous air was heavy with ash. Devastation surrounded them. I’m not sure if this will work, he started to say, but then a deep resonance welled up from the core of the planet. It pulsed through his feet and into his chest, inviting his participation. The Mark on his cheek warmed steadily until it burned, and when his whole body was filled with the song of the planet he released a sound of his own.
At first it was no more than a single pure note, but his voice swelled and developed layer upon layer in concert with the huge chord that played him … yet for all his effort, he knew he was no more than a single tone in a vast symphony, spiraling downward into a musical storm.
Then noise organized into words, and meaning drifted through his heart.
Dissolve … it said. Become nothing so that I may see your shape.
Huldar did his best to quiet the raging song he had set in motion, and the voice of the planet slowly infiltrated. Piece by piece his vibrational structures crumbled before the onslaught, and when he teetered on the threshold of true absorption, the voice flowed through his soul again.
Ahh, creator and destroyer, the two are one … already the flames dance in your heart. The words of the planet became a buffeting tempest. The circle must be broken … Small feet leave a vast trail … The child of theft bears El’s great blessing … I weep for my people, my lives – why must this be?
Huldar struggled to comprehend. He forced himself to picture Lind.
The planet seemed to breathe again. Ahh … yes. Overwhelming sadness seeped into Huldar’s heart as the voice resumed. The eye in the center, the sacrifice foretold. These are its beginnings. More words floated by, capricious as butterfly wings – You will dance to the whim of the Breath until you are Breath itself … Then, after a long pause, his image of Lind seemed to flesh out and grow larger. Two sad blue eyes filled his mind.
Held ransom for what has been taken, the planet whispered, yet she is not at fault. She has given enough.
I don’t understand! Huldar cried. How can I find her? How can I bring her back?
Give yourself to love; only as one may you find another.
In the dark, the voice paused as if gathering strength. A pale face swam before him but it was smaller and rounder than Lind’s. Warmth seemed to come to him and a flash of sandy-brown and his being was filled with a strange smile, as if the beauty he saw was the sadness he felt.
Two souls and time a moving sea between you. This is the only truth. Seek that which searches and love may come again …
The words drifted into silence as the planet’s vast soul receded.
“I don’t understand!” Huldar cried. “Please! Wait! What does it mean?” He could feel himself pushed from the depths, a leaf adrift in a river of sound. Then the voice came again, clear now as if it was breathed against his ear – although
there was an accent now, as if the speaker was not quite familiar with the language of annangi.
“I dared the flame,” it whispered, “and yet I live.” Remember me – remember this … A song of great complexity distilled into his mind.
“Love lost is love’s gain,” the planet whispered, then Huldar opened his eyes. The ground rumbled. Slowly the wheeling stars above came into focus. Warmth against his skin was Andel’s hand in his, and the joy of her smile was burned into his memory.
Two are one …
He drew her to him and savored the long kiss they shared.
When they broke off, she stroked his cheek. “You should visit the planetary consciousness more often.”
There was a deep boom as a plume of molten rock leaped skyward, red against the indigo night.
What did you learn?
She’s alive! Huldar got to his feet and pulled Andel up beside him. “There were words … I don’t understand them. Well I might, if I think about them, but she gave me an idea. A gift. We have to go.”
She? Lind?
Come on! We have to go!
The sky was still dark when they arrived at the portal where Lind’s boots had been found, but the eastern rim was lightening. While they had travelled he had been absorbed in calculations, his mind alight with a revolutionary song derived from the cycles of the planet herself, adapted from what she had given him. Given enough strength, it could hold open the gate in Qalān, hopefully for long enough to locate Lind and get her out. He shared his idea with Andel.
I’ll need you to join with me, he said. I don’t know how long we’ll have. If we call, she might hear us and I can sing us to that point.
But I can divine …
Huldar looked at her, not quite sure what she was saying.
If we both try and go to her in Qalān, we could both end up trapped, she explained.
But if …
Wait! What I’m saying is that if you can hold the portal open, I can divine Qalān for Lind! She smiled encouragement. Like you just did with the planet, only much smaller.
Yes, but you are familiar with rock. This is not rock – nothing like it! What if you get lost? You’ll be alone …
She reached up and kissed his lips. If our minds are shared, we can’t be lost from each other.
Except in Qalān! he retorted. But the planet’s strange words would not leave him; Two are one … only as one may you find another.
Andel seemed to think for a moment, then her lips moved and she opened her palm to reveal the beacon stone. You said you could find me anywhere …
He looked at the striped orange pebble. When he opened his mind, the call of the charm was so loud he could almost see its emanations. Slowly he nodded. Let’s hope it’s true.
When the song had been rehearsed one last time and he was certain that the correct intonations were embedded in his mind, Andel took his hand and entered his thoughts. Qalān was before him as waves of color punctuated with brighter points of connection. The portal waited, calm and unsuspecting, then sound arrowed from his mouth into the opening and Andel’s hand gripped hard as she stepped into the blank space it had become.
_____
Face to face with the featureless whiteness of wild Qalān, Andel was suddenly afraid. Huldar’s song bound them together, but she could no longer sense the outer world. His hand seemed insubstantial, a memory of meaning, and she knew that whatever grace he had gained, his strength could not hold the mighty forces at bay for long.
She thought of Lind as she knew her; capable and self-reliant, prickly and strong, non-descript fair hair, square, Lethian features. Her mind searched, but found emptiness. Their plan relied on her ability to divine, and unless she could turn her skill to finding a person, it would fail. Then it came to her. It was the essence of the ore that she divined for, not the color or the outer shell. For her efforts to work, she needed to search for Lind’s inner self – the soul behind the veils. She remembered the words of the Kaskarudjan … The body is a dream we make real, a fancy for others to see, a shell around the mysteries we guard.
What did she know? … that Lind was lonely. She had sensed it many times, hidden beneath her brash behavior. This was the root of her desire for inclusion. She loved her life with the Uri’madu, yet she was afraid. Andel had felt that also, more often since Lind had called on Huldar to save her. Yet although her sense of worth had taken a blow, she had faced life as bravely as she could. Andel gathered these thoughts and delved for her again.
A hunched figure came into view. It must be her! Andel thought. Who else could it be? But the outline wavered as if wreathed in mist. Andel closed her eyes and let her mind reach out. Qalān appeared insubstantial, but there were edges, boundaries like syrup, and she oozed through them, seeking.
Lind?
The figure crouched tight, hugging her knees. Shoulder-bones and spine pushed against her clothing like the frame of a tent. Tangled hair brushed over bare feet.
Lind? Can you hear me? Andel said. From Huldar, she got the sense that he was tiring. She stretched her free hand forward.
Lind looked up, confused. Mother? she said. You came back?
No, it’s me, Andel. Andel extended her hand as far as she could. Lind, come to me! I can’t reach.
Lind shook her head and buried it against her knees.
Lind, please!
“Go away!”
As Lind verbalized, Qalān rocked around them. Huldar’s grip loosened and Andel snatched tightly at his fingers.
It’s all right, Uba and Arba, she heard Lind say. I know she’s not real. The Lady Andel? Why would she come? Mama has left us. The shoes are gone. Then she started to count … one, two, three, four …
When she realized Lind was talking to her knees, Andel despaired, but she was almost there. She craned her hand forward. If she let Huldar go, just a little more she could touch … There!
At the point of contact, Lind screamed. Qalān convulsed. Andel clung to her arm, determined to keep the three of them linked, but in one violent lurch, Huldar’s fingers were torn from her grasp.
Long after Qalān had settled, Andel peered into the whiteness where he had been. Tears fell and disappeared into nothingness.
Lind sat still and unresponsive, staring at the hand on her arm. Suddenly she lunged forward and wrapped herself around Andel like a spider traps prey, a grip so tight she could barely breathe. Skeletal fingers patted her back as if entranced by the sensation of touch.
Real – you’re real, Lind whispered. With small movements she climbed into Andel’s lap. Alternating waves of terror and relief bombarded Andel’s mind, as if Lind was a baby without veils or boundaries.
“I love you, Mama,” she whispered. “I’ll find my shoes. I will, I promise.”
The fog of Qalān closed in. Andel prized one hand free and held out the beacon stone, their only hope. Lind’s skeletal bones dug in as she hugged her closer. Her whispering continued and Andel wondered whether the healers could save her even if they did escape. Slowly she calmed. Her head drooped, her body went limp and Andel held her close, listening to each shallow breath. How long it had been since she had slept? Time passed. She looked at the orange stone in her hand, willing it to work. Huldar would come for them.
But what if the weather gets too bad? she asked herself. What if he freezes to death trying?
She jumped as blast of sound chased the fog away.
ANDEL!
Lind woke, screaming. Qalān bucked and reeled.
I’m here! Andel cried. Huldar! I’m here!
Lind clung as if they were drowning.
Andel pushed the beacon stone forward as far as she could stretch, and after the longest moment, welcomed the pain as Huldar’s grip crushed her fingers around the stone.
Qalān vanished.
Early morning sun washed her face.
All the sensations of a living planet flooded back in, and Huldar’s love enclosed her with unanticipated intensity.
With stif
f movements painful to watch, Lind slowly climbed to her feet and gazed mutely at her surroundings. Her eyes seemed to fill her face. Starvation had pared the flesh from her body. She waved her hands as if warding off flies then looked down at her toes and began to count them – one, two, three …
Huldar smiled. “Come,” he said. “Let’s get you back to the healers.”
“Healers?” Lind whispered. Healers? … healers?
Andel fought back tears. “Yes,” she said brightly. “Ubaid and Alis? They’ve been so worried about you.”
Ubaid? Lind looked up. Ubaid and Alis … my friends.
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Sari?”
“Yes, Sari is waiting to see you too.”
“Sari,” Lind repeated. “Sari loves me.” Then her face crumpled and she began to cry. She stared at her toes and started to count them again. Andel drew her into her arms. Huldar hugged them both.
“We all love you, Lind. All of us,” Andel said. “There’s no need to count any more. Come, let us take you home.”
Lind walked, half sagging, between them. She seemed unable to fully comprehend her rescue. Although her face made the motions of a smile, it was as if she merely copied the expressions they showed her – until Huldar went to step them through the portal. At first she froze, then with surprising strength, she tore herself free and backed away, shaking her head.
“It’s all right,” Andel soothed. “Huldar’s here. He’ll sing us through safely.” But Lind hid behind her and stared with big eyes at the portal’s faint aura as if it were a dangerous wild beast.
Andel smiled reassuringly and drew her into her arms once more. “Then we’ll stay here until you’re ready, won’t we, Huldar?”
“Of course we will.” He came to her side.
Cloud covered the sun and the chill intensified. Andel draped a spare winter coat over Lind’s bony shoulders, then wrapped a thick blanket over that as well.
Her bare feet were and blue with cold.
“Have these,” Huldar said, and handed over a pair of soft, calf-high boots, fur-lined and warm. “Your own are back at camp, waiting for you,” he said.
Lind looked at him blankly.
Planet Walkers Page 22
