I pick up my phone, scroll through my contacts until I find the rock star’s name and hit send, thankful he’s no longer on tour.
“Hey man,” Jack greets when he answers.
“Hey, how’ve you been?” I ask, trying to sound lighthearted.
“Home with my wife and dogs is as good as it gets.” I hear a contented shrug in his voice. “How’s everything going with you?” he returns. “How’s Annie? Are you getting excited?” He fires questions about me becoming a dad.
“Yeah, I’m totally excited,” I answer, no longer feeling shocked at that notion. “And things are good… for the most part.”
“For the most part meaning, there’s a small part that isn’t?” he prods, casually.
“Well, yeah…”
“So, what is it? Are you still a little freaked out by the whole thing and it’s holding you back from going all in?”
“No. It’s the opposite actually,” I respond, sitting back in my chair as I settle in to give him a full recap of this morning and how it left me feeling.
“So you left?” His voice sounds exasperated, like he doesn’t believe what he’s hearing.
“Yeah, I was upset,” I say shrugging to myself, still reeling from this very unnerving emotion. “I wanted to get away from what was happening, I guess.”
“So you proved her right?” The way he says it, it comes out more like a statement.
“Um, what are you talking about?”
“Things got tough and you high-tailed it out of there.”
“From the argument, not the relationship,” I argue, but his insinuation is settling over me. Fuck…
“Do you think that’s how it looked?” he asks, admonishment in his voice.
“Fuck… I don’t know.” I run a hand through my hair and then pinch the bridge of my nose. “No,” I straighten up, trying to reassure myself more than Jack. “No, she knows I want to be with her; for good, for always.”
“You may want to be and your intentions may be there, but do you think your actions this morning showed her that you’re up for doing whatever it takes?” He challenges. “It may’ve been on a smaller scale, but you may have given her a glimpse of what things could look like in the long run with you.”
Shit. He’s fucking right. But I’m still confused as I blow out a frustrated breath.
“So what am I supposed to do? Let her have her way and not get upset?”
“Absolutely not, but you should show her that you’re willing to go through anything to make it work, including having it out.”
Ice-cold remorse settles over me as I think about Annie and try to put myself in her shoes; what she must be thinking and feeling right now after I walked out on her.
“Look,” Jack’s tone takes on the one guys’ employ when they’re leveling with each other. “It’s okay to take space and a little time to get your thoughts and feelings together. In fact, sometimes it’s better to do that and then talk when emotions have settled down and aren’t running so high. Hell, that’s what Mayzie does when she’s upset. But that first time, it can be scary for the other person if you don’t let them know you’re not disappearing.”
I sit back and rub my face, feeling like a jackass. I failed to do that with Annie earlier.
“I get that you’re frustrated after all the time and effort you’ve put in, just to find out she’s still a little insecure, but if you still want to be with her, turning your back may not have sent the right message.”
Who knew the songwriter had such a way with words, to make me put things in a different perspective?
“So what do I do now?” I ask, too exhausted to try to figure it out myself, even if the solution is simple.
“You make it right,” he clips out plainly. “If you’re not ready to talk about the situation, then don’t, but let her know you’re still there, which leads me…” he raises his voice slightly like he’s just remembered something and then pauses, to make sure he has my attention I guess, “to remind you of a certain night almost four years ago. Do you happen to remember coming into The Cedar one night when I was working and you had the night off?”
I search my memory for the night he’s referring to, and then it falls on me like a ton of bricks. Oh how the tables have turned.
“Yeah,” I say, blowing out a heavy breath as I catch on. “The first time you and Maze ever had a falling out.”
“You took my shift so that I could go talk to her and work things out,” he reminds me. I say nothing, just shake my head at the memory of Jack all downtrodden at the bar that night and how I couldn’t stand it to the point that I took over for him so he could go talk to Mayzie. “It ended up being one of the best nights of my life.”
“Because you worked through your first fight?”
“That and I finally quit being a pussy and kissed her,” he says with a chuckle.
I sigh into the phone. “I gotta let you go, man. I’ve got to call Annie,” I inform him, more than ready to fix things with Annie. In fact, I don’t even care about what happened anymore, I just want to go to her and hold her.
“Do it,” Jack answers, sounding like he’s relieved for me.
“Thanks man,” I tell him.
“You did it for me. You’ve got my back, I’ve got yours.”
After I end the call, I start putting things away while simultaneously bringing Annie’s name up on my contact screen. I’m going to call her and let her know I’m sorry and that I’m on my way back to her to fix things the right way. I’m about to hit send when my phone vibrates, a picture of her holding her baby bump lighting up my screen.
“Annie, honey,” I answer, unable to keep the relief and adoration out of my voice.
“Tyler,” she utters into the phone and a feeling of dread immediately comes over me at the pain I hear in her voice that’s thick with tears. Oh fuck, I did that to her, I think. I’ve never heard her cry and it’s setting the hairs on my neck on end.
“Annie, I’m coming home right now,” I try to assure her as I shrug on my coat while juggling the phone. My talk with Jack left me feeling like I can’t get to her fast enough now.
“Ty,” her voice wavers some more. “I think something’s wrong. I’m… I’m having so much pain.”
And just like that, my world stops turning for a moment before I kick-start it and jump back into action. I snatch my keys off my desk and rush out the door.
28
Not ten minutes after I called, Tyler comes through the front door and wastes no time crossing the room to where I’m sitting. I feel a slight sense of relief settle over me as I rub my stomach. He kneels down in front of me, his hands on either side of my belly, his thumbs stroking in soothing circles.
“Are you okay? Tell me what’s hurting,” he urges, worry written all over his face. His eyes search mine for answers. He wants to know what to do.
“It started low in my back,” I sniff. The pain is so great that I have to focus extra hard on miniscule things - like getting words out. “And now it’s hurting up front too. Down low,” I rub my hand over my pelvis.
“Do you think there’s anything wrong with her? Do you think she’s trying to come early?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I feel her moving so I think she’s okay. It just hurts so bad,” I sniff again and another tear escapes down my cheek.
“Alright, I’m calling the doctor’s office. The on-call provider will know what to do.”
I nod, fighting more tears. I wipe my eyes with one hand and continue to hold my belly with the other. I keep my hand where I feel her moving, the reassurance that she’s okay comforting me through the concept that I’m not at the moment. Tyler doesn’t move, except to pull out his phone and dial the doctor’s office. I didn’t know he had it logged in his phone. I barely hear him give a few pieces of information to the operator before hanging up. He gets up to sit beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, his hand finding various ways to sooth me like rubbing my neck and stroking my hair,
as we wait for the on-call doctor to be paged and call us back.
Only a few minutes go by before Tyler’s phone rings and he picks up. The pain starts to mount more, and I start to sob.
“Yeah she’s having pain in her lower back and it’s going straight through to the front. The baby’s moving but Annie’s in serious pain. You think she should be seen? Yeah, thank you. We’ll be there in twenty minutes.” He hangs up and pulls me in close, hugging me tighter, bringing his face close to mine before lowering his voice to a comforting whisper. “I’m taking you up to the hospital, honey. The doctor’s already there; she’ll know what to do to make this go away, okay?”
I nod, feeling so grateful for him in this moment. And while I’m in too much pain to feel much else, I feel my heart fall for him a little more. Make that a lot more.
He finds my coat and slings it around my shoulders, helping me into it before grabbing my sneakers and taking a knee in front of me to put them on and lace them up. My mind is swirling from the pain but I struggle through the haze to feel the warmth and comfort of Tyler taking care of me; doing every little thing he can to take it all away. I try so hard to lock on to every movement, every sweet comforting word out of his mouth; the way he so tenderly and carefully helps me to stand and then walks me out to his car with an arm wrapped securely around my waist, and the way he drives calmly but deliberately to the hospital while keeping a hand on my leg, as if to let me know I’m his only priority right now. The only thing he cares about.
“Muscle spasms aren’t unheard of when an expectant mother’s belly starts to grow, creating more weight to carry around in the front. It puts a strain on the back and you don’t even realize it until you’re hit with pain like this,” Dr. Banks, the on-call provider explains to us after everything has been checked over. “They’re nothing to worry about, but they can be extremely painful.”
During our two hours on the maternity unit, we quickly found out that our little lady is doing fine, kicking around in my belly. Me on the other hand, I have one pissed off muscle in my lower back that is tight and in spasm, to the point that the pain is radiating straight through to the front of me - most likely from my nesting assault on the spare bedroom today. I’m still wiping away tears on my cheeks from the searing ache. God, when it comes time to endure labor, I’m pretty much fucked.
“I want you to take it easy for the next couple of days. Drink plenty of water, and Dad, you can help by massaging her back with a tennis ball a couple of times a day,” the doctor continues, looking at Tyler, who hasn’t left my side this whole time. He nods at everything the doctor recites to us as he sits next to my bed, comfortingly rubbing my neck. “And I want you to let me give you something for the pain,” she says with gentle authority. When I open my mouth to protest, she says, “Annie, you’re having pretty severe pain. The medicine won’t harm the baby and you need to alleviate it enough so you can at least get some sleep.”
After the doctor talks me into allowing her to send me home with some ibuprofen and instructing me to take it every six hours to stay on top of my pain, we are released and Tyler drives me home. There, he helps me undress and get into bed before taking a lap around the house to shut off lights and lock doors. He sets the bottle of pain pills on the nightstand and sets an alarm on his phone. I’m exhausted; the pain having taken all of my energy tonight, but I watch Tyler curiously as he sets his phone down by the bed and starts taking his clothes off. I’m overwhelmed with a heartening relief when he lifts the covers and climbs into bed next to me.
“Are you comfortable? How’s your pain?” he asks. While I want to burrow into him and sob, professing how thankful I am to have him, I simply nod.
“I’m okay… thank you,” I whisper weakly, looking up at him.
“You don’t need to thank me for something I’m always going to do.”
I gingerly turn on my side so that we’re facing each other and place my hand to the middle of his chest. He covers it with his before kissing me goodnight.
Just as the ache begins to return to my back and pelvis in the middle of the night, pulling me out of my foggy sleep, I feel Tyler’s warm hand on my shoulder.
“Annie?” he prods as he leans down with a bottle of water.
“I’m awake,” I tell him, painfully shifting in the bed.
“Here,” he says, handing me the water while he unscrews the cap on my pain pills and hands me my next dose. After I’ve gratefully swallowed them down and set the water down, he crawls back into bed and nudges me to turn over. With my back to him, he starts gently kneading his hand into my back, just enough to lull and distract me from my pain until the medicine kicks in and I drift back to sleep.
The next time I wake up, daylight is sweeping across my face, coaxing my eyes open. My back feels a little stiff, but not too painful. Tyler’s asleep when I turn over to face him. I take in his sleeping form for a moment and let out a resigned breath.
“I don’t want you living anywhere but with me,” I whisper.
“I heard that. No take-backs,” he returns, eyes still closed. Okay, not asleep.
“How are you feeling, gorgeous?” he mumbles, his voice thick with sleep.
“Better,” I offer quietly. Thanks to him. I’m feeling an immense sense of appreciation and wonder for him, and serious disappointment in myself. Why the hell I had to question whether he and I living together was a good idea is now so far beyond me. He’s already proved himself over and over throughout this relationship, and yesterday, when I had a slight moment of doubt, he did it again - to the fullest. Not only did he come back, but in that moment, it didn’t matter. All that mattered to Tyler was me and the baby. His family.
The once commitment-fearing player has become the most stand-up, caring and dependable guy I could ever ask for. And I’m a jackass.
“That’s good,” he whispers in response to my feeling better. We stare quietly at each other while I try to find a way to tell him I was wrong. He rasps out a heartfelt “I love you,” as he reaches over to cup the side of my face, fixing my eyes with his so that I get his sincerity. And dammit, I feel my eyes sting as they start to blur.
Why hello hormone fuckers, we meet again.
“I love you too,” I sniff, and his eyes soften, probably wondering what the fuck is wrong with me as he strokes the apple of my cheek with his thumb.
“Now can we live together?” He chuckles with a playful smile.
“Yes,” I choke out with a nod and his smile turns to one of relief. “Ty, I’m so sorry.” Fuck. I’m crying now. Traitorous, asshole tears are streaming their way down my cheeks.
“For what?” he asks incredulously as he shakes his head and furrows his brow.
“I shouldn’t have needed to think. I shouldn’t have had a single doubt. It was so stupid!” I answer, wiping my cheeks. “I hesitated for just that one moment, and the second you left I knew I wanted us to live together. The idea of you not coming home to me felt so wrong.”
Tyler inches forward and kisses me. It’s tender, like it’s meant as a remedy for my magnified emotions, and it’s amazing how much it calms and sooths me, slowing the flood of tears.
“It’s okay,” he whispers after pulling away to look at me.
“It’s not,” I gently argue. “I should’ve been thinking about the baby and trusting you. Instead, I was worried about myself.”
“What do you mean?” He asks, drawing his eyebrows together.
“For that one second I was too consumed with what it would do to me if we lived here together, and then one day you left.”
“I’m not leaving,” he shakes his head adamantly. “For the first time in my life, I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to stay right here, not just with the baby, but with you. That’s enough of a sign for me to know that what I feel for you is real; that I’m right where I want to be. You’ll have to kick me out gorgeous, and even then I’ll put up a fight. And I should’ve let you know that and not walked out like I did.”
I let out a ragged breath, full of relief at his words as I reach over to place my hand on his face as he continues.
“We’re going to fight sometimes,” he states plainly, “but we’ll always figure it out, right?”
“Yeah,” I concede, smiling.
“Okay,” he says with a content sense of finality in his voice. “And when your back is better, I’m taking you to see your new studio.” He says it like an order, but I don’t care right now. “I truly think it will be a good thing for your business,” he leans in and starts speaking between kisses. “For the baby… for us… and for me.”
I excitedly nod, having no doubts anymore.
“Okay,” I answer. “But today, will you just stay in bed with me?” I’m done trying to not be vulnerable to him. I need him, I want him and I’m letting him know it.
“Yeah,” he says with a gentle smile. “I’m just going to run out to get some stuff for your back, check on the bar and then I’ll come right back and we’ll have a lazy day.”
“Sounds perfect,” I say with a contented sigh.
The bachelor version of me was pretty much dead the moment I saw Annie again, but the last couple of days just put the final nail in his coffin.
The other night scared the shit out of me, and if I didn’t already know that this woman and the baby inside her are my world, those events totally drove it home.
I loved every minute of taking care of her, and I didn’t want to stop. That day I went out and bought a canister of tennis balls along with some ice packs to keep in the freezer and some Biofreeze. I grabbed some things from my apartment so that I wouldn’t have to go back for a few days, took the rest of the day off work, and laughed at stupid movies in bed with her the rest of the day.
The way our dynamic changed when she finally let herself want me and be with me brought so much to my life that I didn’t know I was missing. But the other day when she let herself need me? That put me on top of the world.
Picture Us (Turn it Up Book 3) Page 22
